Re: Family Acceptance

[Guest guest]

my family is in denial. as there is nothing wrong with my sons appearance from the outside, my dad especially refuses to believe he has autism. I showed him the diagnosis and his language test where he got 55 with 3 standard deviations and he fobbed it off like it didn't matter to him at all.

mind you he was not really involved in parenting me when I was young. that all landed on my mum as he was out working all the time. they are still married but not happily.

I am just wondering how many of you have family that either accept your child's disability, or are in denial? My older brother (who is a teacher) seems to be in denial, and thinks that me homeschooling my son thru an online charter school will ruin him. He also told me that 'labeling' him will only make things worse for him. But honestly, his diagnoses of Aspergers has actually helped him get the help he needs. I never really see my brother, so I don't understand how he can judge us like this.

Jenn

[Guest guest]

my family is in denial. as there is nothing wrong with my sons appearance from the outside, my dad especially refuses to believe he has autism. I showed him the diagnosis and his language test where he got 55 with 3 standard deviations and he fobbed it off like it didn't matter to him at all.

mind you he was not really involved in parenting me when I was young. that all landed on my mum as he was out working all the time. they are still married but not happily.

I am just wondering how many of you have family that either accept your child's disability, or are in denial? My older brother (who is a teacher) seems to be in denial, and thinks that me homeschooling my son thru an online charter school will ruin him. He also told me that 'labeling' him will only make things worse for him. But honestly, his diagnoses of Aspergers has actually helped him get the help he needs. I never really see my brother, so I don't understand how he can judge us like this.

Jenn

[Guest guest]

I am sorry , that is hard. {{{{{{BIG HUGS}}}}}}Jenn

 

my family is in denial. as there is nothing wrong with my sons appearance from the outside, my dad especially refuses to believe he has autism. I showed him the diagnosis and his language test where he got 55 with 3 standard deviations and he fobbed it off like it didn't matter to him at all.

mind you he was not really involved in parenting me when I was young. that all landed on my mum as he was out working all the time. they are still married but not happily.

I am just wondering how many of you have family that either accept your child's disability, or are in denial? My older brother (who is a teacher) seems to be in denial, and thinks that me homeschooling my son thru an online charter school will ruin him. He also told me that 'labeling' him will only make things worse for him. But honestly, his diagnoses of Aspergers has actually helped him get the help he needs. I never really see my brother, so I don't understand how he can judge us like this.

Jenn

[Guest guest]

My family were quite surprised and actually told me that they felt sorry for him.........maybe it is just me but my son does not need their poor him attitude....he needs acceptance and understanding now. He doesn't need for them to treat him as if he is a terrible child (which is exactly what they are goin to do the next time they see him). I don't know if it is just me being very overprotected of athan or not but it just bothered me the way they addressed the whole subject. I know that he need alot of help but he doesn't need to be let go to the wayside or treated any differently because he has Aspergers now. My ex whom is still in the picture when it comes to the kids is still in denial and probably hasn't even taken any time to learn anything about Aspergers yet.

He was all the time telling me there is nothing wrong is just a growing boy. I do however have friends that are very supportive and have helped me thus far. That has been extremely helpful. And groups like this are helping too. Thanks.To: autism-aspergers Sent: Wed, June 1, 2011 6:08:46 PMSubject: Re: Family Acceptance

my family is in denial. as there is nothing wrong with my sons appearance from the outside, my dad especially refuses to believe he has autism. I showed him the diagnosis and his language test where he got 55 with 3 standard deviations and he fobbed it off like it didn't matter to him at all.

mind you he was not really involved in parenting me when I was young. that all landed on my mum as he was out working all the time. they are still married but not happily.

I am just wondering how many of you have family that either accept your child's disability, or are in denial? My older brother (who is a teacher) seems to be in denial, and thinks that me homeschooling my son thru an online charter school will ruin him. He also told me that 'labeling' him will only make things worse for him. But honestly, his diagnoses of Aspergers has actually helped him get the help he needs. I never really see my brother, so I don't understand how he can judge us like this.

Jenn

[Guest guest]

We have the same issue! Family says they don't see it. One on one he's great! Take him with his siblings and the horns come out. Take him to school and see him have a hard time. Tell them to go fly a kite Homeschooling can be great! Some teachers these days (maybe not your brother) aren't worth the paper their degree was printed on!

To: autism-aspergers Sent: Wed, June 1, 2011 7:05:28 PMSubject: Family Acceptance

I am just wondering how many of you have family that either accept your child's disability, or are in denial? My older brother (who is a teacher) seems to be in denial, and thinks that me homeschooling my son thru an online charter school will ruin him. He also told me that 'labeling' him will only make things worse for him. But honestly, his diagnoses of Aspergers has actually helped him get the help he needs. I never really see my brother, so I don't understand how he can judge us like this. Jenn

[Guest guest]

I hear that too. He's a growing normal boy.....normal my behind!! If this is normal I'd hate to see abnormal!! Goodness!

To: autism-aspergers Sent: Wed, June 1, 2011 7:49:26 PMSubject: Re: Family Acceptance

My family were quite surprised and actually told me that they felt sorry for him.........maybe it is just me but my son does not need their poor him attitude....he needs acceptance and understanding now. He doesn't need for them to treat him as if he is a terrible child (which is exactly what they are goin to do the next time they see him). I don't know if it is just me being very overprotected of athan or not but it just bothered me the way they addressed the whole subject. I know that he need alot of help but he doesn't need to be let go to the wayside or treated any differently because he has Aspergers now. My ex whom is still in the picture when it comes to the kids is still in denial and probably hasn't even taken any time to learn anything about Aspergers yet. He was all the time telling me there is nothing wrong is just a

growing boy. I do however have friends that are very supportive and have helped me thus far. That has been extremely helpful. And groups like this are helping too. Thanks.

To: autism-aspergers Sent: Wed, June 1, 2011 6:08:46 PMSubject: Re: Family Acceptance

my family is in denial. as there is nothing wrong with my sons appearance from the outside, my dad especially refuses to believe he has autism. I showed him the diagnosis and his language test where he got 55 with 3 standard deviations and he fobbed it off like it didn't matter to him at all.

mind you he was not really involved in parenting me when I was young. that all landed on my mum as he was out working all the time. they are still married but not happily.

I am just wondering how many of you have family that either accept your child's disability, or are in denial? My older brother (who is a teacher) seems to be in denial, and thinks that me homeschooling my son thru an online charter school will ruin him. He also told me that 'labeling' him will only make things worse for him. But honestly, his diagnoses of Aspergers has actually helped him get the help he needs. I never really see my brother, so I don't understand how he can judge us like this. Jenn

[Guest guest]

I think it'd be a lot easier to deal with a physical disability where people can SEE from the outside that there is something different with the kids than something like autism or aspergers or even adhd.

We have the same issue!  Family says they don't see it.  One on one he's great!  Take him with his siblings and the horns come out.  Take him to school and see him have a hard time.  Tell them to go fly a kite   Homeschooling can be great!  Some teachers these days (maybe not your brother) aren't worth the paper their degree was printed on! 

 

To: autism-aspergers

Sent: Wed, June 1, 2011 7:05:28 PMSubject: Family Acceptance 

I am just wondering how many of you have family that either accept your child's disability, or are in denial? My older brother (who is a teacher) seems to be in denial, and thinks that me homeschooling my son thru an online charter school will ruin him. He also told me that 'labeling' him will only make things worse for him. But honestly, his diagnoses of Aspergers has actually helped him get the help he needs. I never really see my brother, so I don't understand how he can judge us like this.

Jenn

[Guest guest]

Yes - the perception is that disabilities are visible.  Those that

aren't are more likely to be doubted.  If a kid looks normal, why

does he not act as if he is normal?  It is something that is fixed

with education - and that is likely to be a long process.

 

I think it'd be a lot easier to deal with a physical

disability where people can SEE from the outside that

there is something different with the kids than something

like autism or aspergers or even adhd.

[Guest guest]

Thanks everyone! One thing I have noticed with my son is that the older he gets, the more I see his Asperger's coming out. I think that is because while he looks 12 years old, emotionally he is only about 5 to 7 years old. So unless people talk to him, they may not know. Although the older he gets, the more unwilling he is to speak to others, and from what I have been told it is called Selective Mutism.

was diagnosed when he was 10 years old, after my Mom passed away. She had told me before she died, that she thought he had Aspergers. I wish my parents were still around, because it seems like since my Mom passed away (lost my Dad in 2001), I hardly hear from my siblings anymore, so they don't really understand what we go thru on a daily basis. And I could really use my parents support right now.

We have had a hard time getting to learn beyond multiplying single and some double digit numbers, and learning certain comprehension skills. He is only at a 3rd grade level in math and language arts, and he may never get past that, which I am totally okay with. Some people I know are having a hard time realizing that, because he 'looks normal', so he should be at a 'normal' grade level.

He honestly has also been regressing since December, and I am not sure why. It might be his age, I dunno. I have heard when our kids reach the pre-teen/teen years, some of them regress, or seem to regress. That is a big reason why I pulled him out of public school. Next year he would have been in Jr. High, and I know he would have never made it there!

Homeschooling him is a challenge, but I honestly feel like it is the best thing for him. And it is less stressful for him then a regular school environment. His teacher completely agreed with me to homeschool him thru an online charter school (which I do), while his Special Ed teacher was upset I took him out. But u know what? I know what is best for my son better then anyone else does.

And if he lives with us for the rest of our lives, we are prepared and accepting of that. I don't know why some people can't see our child's disability. Maybe some family members are in denial, because then they think that means something is wrong with their family, I dunno. I just wish people didn't see disabilities as a really bad thing. Yes it is a challenge, but there are some positive things about it.

I love my son's innocence, I love how he is forgiving towards others, and I love that he loves unconditionally. Those are the things I try to focus on when life gets tough for him. Jenn

 

Yes - the perception is that disabilities are visible.  Those that

aren't are more likely to be doubted.  If a kid looks normal, why

does he not act as if he is normal?  It is something that is fixed

with education - and that is likely to be a long process.

 

I think it'd be a lot easier to deal with a physical

disability where people can SEE from the outside that

there is something different with the kids than something

like autism or aspergers or even adhd.

[Guest guest]

Agreed. It's an invisible disability.

To: autism-aspergers Sent: Wed, June 1, 2011 7:59:57 PMSubject: Re: Family Acceptance

I think it'd be a lot easier to deal with a physical disability where people can SEE from the outside that there is something different with the kids than something like autism or aspergers or even adhd.

We have the same issue! Family says they don't see it. One on one he's great! Take him with his siblings and the horns come out. Take him to school and see him have a hard time. Tell them to go fly a kite Homeschooling can be great! Some teachers these days (maybe not your brother) aren't worth the paper their degree was printed on!

To: autism-aspergers Sent: Wed, June 1, 2011 7:05:28 PMSubject: Family Acceptance

I am just wondering how many of you have family that either accept your child's disability, or are in denial? My older brother (who is a teacher) seems to be in denial, and thinks that me homeschooling my son thru an online charter school will ruin him. He also told me that 'labeling' him will only make things worse for him. But honestly, his diagnoses of Aspergers has actually helped him get the help he needs. I never really see my brother, so I don't understand how he can judge us like this. Jenn

[Guest guest]

Dear Jenn,

You're great parents.

If any place can come up with learning tools, it's www.IAHP.org (the Institutes for the Achievement of Human Potential. They were a miracle for us. And the learning aids we had to make in the 'old days' they now make for You.

I just have a hunch that bits of information might be really helpful for . Too tired to explain now, and I think they have them on cd now, although they're easy to make from remainder books.

Francine

Speak with Him Thou for He hearest.

Spirit with Spirit can speak.

Closer is Love than breathing,

Nearer than hands and feet.

(with appreciation for Tennyson)

Re: Family Acceptance

Thanks everyone! One thing I have noticed with my son is that the older he gets, the more I see his Asperger's coming out. I think that is because while he looks 12 years old, emotionally he is only about 5 to 7 years old. So unless people talk to him, they may not know. Although the older he gets, the more unwilling he is to speak to others, and from what I have been told it is called Selective Mutism.

was diagnosed when he was 10 years old, after my Mom passed away. She had told me before she died, that she thought he had Aspergers. I wish my parents were still around, because it seems like since my Mom passed away (lost my Dad in 2001), I hardly hear from my siblings anymore, so they don't really understand what we go thru on a daily basis. And I could really use my parents support right now.

We have had a hard time getting to learn beyond multiplying single and some double digit numbers, and learning certain comprehension skills. He is only at a 3rd grade level in math and language arts, and he may never get past that, which I am totally okay with. Some people I know are having a hard time realizing that, because he 'looks normal', so he should be at a 'normal' grade level.

He honestly has also been regressing since December, and I am not sure why. It might be his age, I dunno. I have heard when our kids reach the pre-teen/teen years, some of them regress, or seem to regress. That is a big reason why I pulled him out of public school. Next year he would have been in Jr. High, and I know he would have never made it there!

Homeschooling him is a challenge, but I honestly feel like it is the best thing for him. And it is less stressful for him then a regular school environment. His teacher completely agreed with me to homeschool him thru an online charter school (which I do), while his Special Ed teacher was upset I took him out. But u know what? I know what is best for my son better then anyone else does.

And if he lives with us for the rest of our lives, we are prepared and accepting of that. I don't know why some people can't see our child's disability. Maybe some family members are in denial, because then they think that means something is wrong with their family, I dunno. I just wish people didn't see disabilities as a really bad thing. Yes it is a challenge, but there are some positive things about it.

I love my son's innocence, I love how he is forgiving towards others, and I love that he loves unconditionally. Those are the things I try to focus on when life gets tough for him.

Jenn

Yes - the perception is that disabilities are visible. Those that aren't are more likely to be doubted. If a kid looks normal, why does he not act as if he is normal? It is something that is fixed with education - and that is likely to be a long process.

I think it'd be a lot easier to deal with a physical disability where people can SEE from the outside that there is something different with the kids than something like autism or aspergers or even adhd.

[Guest guest]

I think almost all 12 year old boys regress in some ways.  That

sounds flippant, but it isn't meant to be.  Even 'normal' boys can

seem to go backwards in intelligence and (especially) plain common

sense at that age.  Don't give up on your son - he may yet amaze

everyone with what he can achieve.  The hard part is finding the

motivation.

Our son (16) doesn't plan on moving out ever as he thinks it is

financially advantageous to stay with us.  Not sure how that will

work out long-term

 

Thanks everyone! One thing I have noticed with my son

is that the older he gets, the more I see his Asperger's

coming out. I think that is because while he looks 12

years old, emotionally he is only about 5 to 7 years

old. So unless people talk to him, they may not know.

Although the older he gets, the more unwilling he is to

speak to others, and from what I have been told it is

called Selective Mutism.

was diagnosed when he was 10 years old, after my

Mom passed away. She had told me before she died, that

she thought he had Aspergers. I wish my parents were

still around, because it seems like since my Mom passed

away (lost my Dad in 2001), I hardly hear from my

siblings anymore, so they don't really understand what

we go thru on a daily basis. And I could really use my

parents support right now.

We have had a hard time getting to learn beyond

multiplying single and some double digit numbers, and

learning certain comprehension skills. He is only at a

3rd grade level in math and language arts, and he may

never get past that, which I am totally okay with. Some

people I know are having a hard time realizing that,

because he 'looks normal', so he should be at a 'normal'

grade level.

He honestly has also been regressing since December, and

I am not sure why. It might be his age, I dunno. I have

heard when our kids reach the pre-teen/teen years, some

of them regress, or seem to regress. That is a big

reason why I pulled him out of public school. Next year

he would have been in Jr. High, and I know he would have

never made it there!

Homeschooling him is a challenge, but I honestly feel

like it is the best thing for him. And it is less

stressful for him then a regular school environment. His

teacher completely agreed with me to homeschool him thru

an online charter school (which I do), while his Special

Ed teacher was upset I took him out. But u know what? I

know what is best for my son better then anyone else

does.

And if he lives with us for the rest of our lives, we

are prepared and accepting of that. I don't know why

some people can't see our child's disability. Maybe some

family members are in denial, because then they think

that means something is wrong with their family, I

dunno. I just wish people didn't see disabilities as a

really bad thing. Yes it is a challenge, but there are

some positive things about it.

I love my son's innocence, I love how he is forgiving

towards others, and I love that he loves

unconditionally. Those are the things I try to focus on

when life gets tough for him.

Jenn

On Wed, Jun 1, 2011 at 6:07 PM, Riley

wrote:

�

Yes - the perception is that disabilities

are visible.� Those that aren't are more

likely to be doubted.� If a kid looks normal,

why does he not act as if he is normal?� It is

something that is fixed with education - and

that is likely to be a long process.

�

I think it'd be a lot easier to deal

with a physical disability where people

can SEE from the outside that there is

something different with the kids than

something like autism or aspergers or

even adhd.

[Guest guest]

My family background is Italian. I didn't move out of home until I got married at the age of 26. That is normal for people who are traditional in their thinking as my family are. they would have disowned me had I tried to move out sooner. 

I think almost all 12 year old boys regress in some ways.  That

sounds flippant, but it isn't meant to be.  Even 'normal' boys can

seem to go backwards in intelligence and (especially) plain common

sense at that age.  Don't give up on your son - he may yet amaze

everyone with what he can achieve.  The hard part is finding the

motivation.

Our son (16) doesn't plan on moving out ever as he thinks it is

financially advantageous to stay with us.  Not sure how that will

work out long-term

 

Thanks everyone! One thing I have noticed with my son

is that the older he gets, the more I see his Asperger's

coming out. I think that is because while he looks 12

years old, emotionally he is only about 5 to 7 years

old. So unless people talk to him, they may not know.

Although the older he gets, the more unwilling he is to

speak to others, and from what I have been told it is

called Selective Mutism.

was diagnosed when he was 10 years old, after my

Mom passed away. She had told me before she died, that

she thought he had Aspergers. I wish my parents were

still around, because it seems like since my Mom passed

away (lost my Dad in 2001), I hardly hear from my

siblings anymore, so they don't really understand what

we go thru on a daily basis. And I could really use my

parents support right now.

We have had a hard time getting to learn beyond

multiplying single and some double digit numbers, and

learning certain comprehension skills. He is only at a

3rd grade level in math and language arts, and he may

never get past that, which I am totally okay with. Some

people I know are having a hard time realizing that,

because he 'looks normal', so he should be at a 'normal'

grade level.

He honestly has also been regressing since December, and

I am not sure why. It might be his age, I dunno. I have

heard when our kids reach the pre-teen/teen years, some

of them regress, or seem to regress. That is a big

reason why I pulled him out of public school. Next year

he would have been in Jr. High, and I know he would have

never made it there!

Homeschooling him is a challenge, but I honestly feel

like it is the best thing for him. And it is less

stressful for him then a regular school environment. His

teacher completely agreed with me to homeschool him thru

an online charter school (which I do), while his Special

Ed teacher was upset I took him out. But u know what? I

know what is best for my son better then anyone else

does.

And if he lives with us for the rest of our lives, we

are prepared and accepting of that. I don't know why

some people can't see our child's disability. Maybe some

family members are in denial, because then they think

that means something is wrong with their family, I

dunno. I just wish people didn't see disabilities as a

really bad thing. Yes it is a challenge, but there are

some positive things about it.

I love my son's innocence, I love how he is forgiving

towards others, and I love that he loves

unconditionally. Those are the things I try to focus on

when life gets tough for him.

Jenn

On Wed, Jun 1, 2011 at 6:07 PM, Riley

wrote:

�

Yes - the perception is that disabilities

are visible.� Those that aren't are more

likely to be doubted.� If a kid looks normal,

why does he not act as if he is normal?� It is

something that is fixed with education - and

that is likely to be a long process.

�

I think it'd be a lot easier to deal

with a physical disability where people

can SEE from the outside that there is

something different with the kids than

something like autism or aspergers or

even adhd.

[Guest guest]

My husband's grandmother refuses to believe Noah has autism. But I think it's her generation. It's an embarrassment to the family to have someone in it like that. That type of thinking. She would rather accuse me of being lazy and putting him in front of a TV all day and not trying to teach him anything. Then again she said the same thing because our daughter had a speech delay and that was my fault as well. My MIL takes our 5 yr old for weekends all the time but never takes Noah. The only time she has taken him, was while we went on a cruise. I hate how they play favorites with her and not have much relationship with him. She always has tons of clothes for Emma but Noah will get 2 or 3 outfits. Emma will have like 2 weeks worth of new clothes. They never even try to take him for a day. It breaks my heart cause he is the sweetest child out of all my kids. Luckily, my FIL is wonderful and loves him to death and accepts him for who he is. Keep strong and don't let their stupidity get to you. I feel sorry for my them. I have a wonderful relationship with my beautiful autistic son. He gives me lots of hugs, and cuddles. They just don't know what they are missing. (((HUGS))) Christi From: autism-aspergers [mailto:autism-aspergers ] On Behalf Of JennSent: Wednesday, June 01, 2011 6:05 PMTo: autism-aspergers Subject: Family Acceptance I am just wondering how many of you have family that either accept your child's disability, or are in denial? My older brother (who is a teacher) seems to be in denial, and thinks that me homeschooling my son thru an online charter school will ruin him. He also told me that 'labeling' him will only make things worse for him. But honestly, his diagnoses of Aspergers has actually helped him get the help he needs. I never really see my brother, so I don't understand how he can judge us like this. Jenn

[Guest guest]

I understand exactly what you are saying.....my family plays favorites as well. It has always been about the girls in the family.....they get everything. Oh and don't let the boys be hard to handle because then they want even less to do with them. It is sad that many people are like that but what can we really do. I love my children so much to hav them subject to favortism is very hard. Good luck and lots of hugs to you and yours.AmberTo: autism-aspergers Sent: Wed, June 1, 2011 9:45:08 PMSubject: RE: Family Acceptance

My husband's grandmother refuses to believe Noah has autism. But I think it's her generation. It's an embarrassment to the family to have someone in it like that. That type of thinking. She would rather accuse me of being lazy and putting him in front of a TV all day and not trying to teach him anything. Then again she said the same thing because our daughter had a speech delay and that was my fault as well. My MIL takes our 5 yr old for weekends all the time but never takes Noah. The only time she has taken him, was while we went on a cruise. I hate how they play favorites with her and not have much relationship with him. She always has tons of clothes for Emma but Noah will get 2 or 3 outfits. Emma will have like 2 weeks worth of new clothes. They never even try to take him for a day. It

breaks my heart cause he is the sweetest child out of all my kids. Luckily, my FIL is wonderful and loves him to death and accepts him for who he is. Keep strong and don't let their stupidity get to you. I feel sorry for my them. I have a wonderful relationship with my beautiful autistic son. He gives me lots of hugs, and cuddles. They just don't know what they are missing. (((HUGS))) Christi From: autism-aspergers [mailto:autism-aspergers ] On Behalf Of JennSent: Wednesday, June 01, 2011

6:05 PMTo: autism-aspergers Subject: Family Acceptance I am just wondering how many of you have family that either accept your child's disability, or are in denial? My older brother (who is a teacher) seems to be in denial, and thinks that me homeschooling my son thru an online charter school will ruin him. He also told me that 'labeling' him will only make things worse for him. But honestly, his diagnoses of Aspergers has actually helped him get the help he needs. I never really see my brother, so I don't understand how he can judge us like this. Jenn

[Guest guest]

That is a very interesting subject for me to read about. athan is only 10 and just diagnosised so knowing some of the things to look forward to is helping me understand what I should learn to pay more attention to. And my family was very upset when my generation of children moved out......we are hispanic so we also have that closeness to live together for years into our adulthood. I have dreams of my children being around for huge family dinners and other events.To: autism-aspergers Sent: Wed, June 1, 2011 9:32:40 PMSubject: Re: Family Acceptance

My family background is Italian. I didn't move out of home until I got married at the age of 26. That is normal for people who are traditional in their thinking as my family are. they would have disowned me had I tried to move out sooner.

I think almost all 12 year old boys regress in some ways. That

sounds flippant, but it isn't meant to be. Even 'normal' boys can

seem to go backwards in intelligence and (especially) plain common

sense at that age. Don't give up on your son - he may yet amaze

everyone with what he can achieve. The hard part is finding the

motivation.

Our son (16) doesn't plan on moving out ever as he thinks it is

financially advantageous to stay with us. Not sure how that will

work out long-term

Thanks everyone! One thing I have noticed with my son

is that the older he gets, the more I see his Asperger's

coming out. I think that is because while he looks 12

years old, emotionally he is only about 5 to 7 years

old. So unless people talk to him, they may not know.

Although the older he gets, the more unwilling he is to

speak to others, and from what I have been told it is

called Selective Mutism.

was diagnosed when he was 10 years old, after my

Mom passed away. She had told me before she died, that

she thought he had Aspergers. I wish my parents were

still around, because it seems like since my Mom passed

away (lost my Dad in 2001), I hardly hear from my

siblings anymore, so they don't really understand what

we go thru on a daily basis. And I could really use my

parents support right now.

We have had a hard time getting to learn beyond

multiplying single and some double digit numbers, and

learning certain comprehension skills. He is only at a

3rd grade level in math and language arts, and he may

never get past that, which I am totally okay with. Some

people I know are having a hard time realizing that,

because he 'looks normal', so he should be at a 'normal'

grade level.

He honestly has also been regressing since December, and

I am not sure why. It might be his age, I dunno. I have

heard when our kids reach the pre-teen/teen years, some

of them regress, or seem to regress. That is a big

reason why I pulled him out of public school. Next year

he would have been in Jr. High, and I know he would have

never made it there!

Homeschooling him is a challenge, but I honestly feel

like it is the best thing for him. And it is less

stressful for him then a regular school environment. His

teacher completely agreed with me to homeschool him thru

an online charter school (which I do), while his Special

Ed teacher was upset I took him out. But u know what? I

know what is best for my son better then anyone else

does.

And if he lives with us for the rest of our lives, we

are prepared and accepting of that. I don't know why

some people can't see our child's disability. Maybe some

family members are in denial, because then they think

that means something is wrong with their family, I

dunno. I just wish people didn't see disabilities as a

really bad thing. Yes it is a challenge, but there are

some positive things about it.

I love my son's innocence, I love how he is forgiving

towards others, and I love that he loves

unconditionally. Those are the things I try to focus on

when life gets tough for him.

Jenn

On Wed, Jun 1, 2011 at 6:07 PM, Riley

wrote:

�

Yes - the perception is that disabilities

are visible.� Those that aren't are more

likely to be doubted.� If a kid looks normal,

why does he not act as if he is normal?� It is

something that is fixed with education - and

that is likely to be a long process.

�

I think it'd be a lot easier to deal

with a physical disability where people

can SEE from the outside that there is

something different with the kids than

something like autism or aspergers or

even adhd.

[Guest guest]

I plan to raise my kids similar. I am not pushing them out of home as soon as they become adults.

That is a very interesting subject for me to read about.  athan is only 10 and just diagnosised so knowing some of the things to look forward to is helping me understand what I should learn to pay more attention to.  And my family was very upset when my generation of children moved out......we are hispanic so we also have that closeness to live together for years into our adulthood.  I have dreams of my children being around for huge family dinners and other events.

To: autism-aspergers

Sent: Wed, June 1, 2011 9:32:40 PMSubject: Re: Family Acceptance

 

My family background is Italian. I didn't move out of home until I got married at the age of 26. That is normal for people who are traditional in their thinking as my family are. they would have disowned me had I tried to move out sooner. 

I think almost all 12 year old boys regress in some ways.  That

sounds flippant, but it isn't meant to be.  Even 'normal' boys can

seem to go backwards in intelligence and (especially) plain common

sense at that age.  Don't give up on your son - he may yet amaze

everyone with what he can achieve.  The hard part is finding the

motivation.

Our son (16) doesn't plan on moving out ever as he thinks it is

financially advantageous to stay with us.  Not sure how that will

work out long-term

 

Thanks everyone! One thing I have noticed with my son

is that the older he gets, the more I see his Asperger's

coming out. I think that is because while he looks 12

years old, emotionally he is only about 5 to 7 years

old. So unless people talk to him, they may not know.

Although the older he gets, the more unwilling he is to

speak to others, and from what I have been told it is

called Selective Mutism.

was diagnosed when he was 10 years old, after my

Mom passed away. She had told me before she died, that

she thought he had Aspergers. I wish my parents were

still around, because it seems like since my Mom passed

away (lost my Dad in 2001), I hardly hear from my

siblings anymore, so they don't really understand what

we go thru on a daily basis. And I could really use my

parents support right now.

We have had a hard time getting to learn beyond

multiplying single and some double digit numbers, and

learning certain comprehension skills. He is only at a

3rd grade level in math and language arts, and he may

never get past that, which I am totally okay with. Some

people I know are having a hard time realizing that,

because he 'looks normal', so he should be at a 'normal'

grade level.

He honestly has also been regressing since December, and

I am not sure why. It might be his age, I dunno. I have

heard when our kids reach the pre-teen/teen years, some

of them regress, or seem to regress. That is a big

reason why I pulled him out of public school. Next year

he would have been in Jr. High, and I know he would have

never made it there!

Homeschooling him is a challenge, but I honestly feel

like it is the best thing for him. And it is less

stressful for him then a regular school environment. His

teacher completely agreed with me to homeschool him thru

an online charter school (which I do), while his Special

Ed teacher was upset I took him out. But u know what? I

know what is best for my son better then anyone else

does.

And if he lives with us for the rest of our lives, we

are prepared and accepting of that. I don't know why

some people can't see our child's disability. Maybe some

family members are in denial, because then they think

that means something is wrong with their family, I

dunno. I just wish people didn't see disabilities as a

really bad thing. Yes it is a challenge, but there are

some positive things about it.

I love my son's innocence, I love how he is forgiving

towards others, and I love that he loves

unconditionally. Those are the things I try to focus on

when life gets tough for him.

Jenn

On Wed, Jun 1, 2011 at 6:07 PM, Riley

wrote:

�

Yes - the perception is that disabilities

are visible.� Those that aren't are more

likely to be doubted.� If a kid looks normal,

why does he not act as if he is normal?� It is

something that is fixed with education - and

that is likely to be a long process.

�

I think it'd be a lot easier to deal

with a physical disability where people

can SEE from the outside that there is

something different with the kids than

something like autism or aspergers or

even adhd.

[Guest guest]

Thanks Francine! I look at into it.

 

Jenn

 

Dear Jenn,

 

You're great parents.

 

If any place can come up with learning tools, it's www.IAHP.org (the Institutes for the Achievement of Human Potential.  They were a miracle for us.  And the learning aids we had to make in the 'old days' they now make for You.

 

I just have a hunch that bits of information might be really helpful for .  Too tired to explain now, and I think they have them on cd now, although they're easy to make from remainder books.

 

Francine

 

 

Speak with Him Thou for He hearest.Spirit with Spirit can speak.Closer is Love than breathing,Nearer than hands and feet.(with appreciation for Tennyson)

Re: Family Acceptance

 

Thanks everyone! One thing I have noticed with my son is that the older he gets, the more I see his Asperger's coming out. I think that is because while he looks 12 years old, emotionally he is only about 5 to 7 years old. So unless people talk to him, they may not know. Although the older he gets, the more unwilling he is to speak to others, and from what I have been told it is called Selective Mutism.

was diagnosed when he was 10 years old, after my Mom passed away. She had told me before she died, that she thought he had Aspergers. I wish my parents were still around, because it seems like since my Mom passed away (lost my Dad in 2001), I hardly hear from my siblings anymore, so they don't really understand what we go thru on a daily basis. And I could really use my parents support right now.

We have had a hard time getting to learn beyond multiplying single and some double digit numbers, and learning certain comprehension skills. He is only at a 3rd grade level in math and language arts, and he may never get past that, which I am totally okay with. Some people I know are having a hard time realizing that, because he 'looks normal', so he should be at a 'normal' grade level.

He honestly has also been regressing since December, and I am not sure why. It might be his age, I dunno. I have heard when our kids reach the pre-teen/teen years, some of them regress, or seem to regress. That is a big reason why I pulled him out of public school. Next year he would have been in Jr. High, and I know he would have never made it there!

Homeschooling him is a challenge, but I honestly feel like it is the best thing for him. And it is less stressful for him then a regular school environment. His teacher completely agreed with me to homeschool him thru an online charter school (which I do), while his Special Ed teacher was upset I took him out. But u know what? I know what is best for my son better then anyone else does.

And if he lives with us for the rest of our lives, we are prepared and accepting of that. I don't know why some people can't see our child's disability. Maybe some family members are in denial, because then they think that means something is wrong with their family, I dunno. I just wish people didn't see disabilities as a really bad thing. Yes it is a challenge, but there are some positive things about it.

I love my son's innocence, I love how he is forgiving towards others, and I love that he loves unconditionally. Those are the things I try to focus on when life gets tough for him. Jenn

 

Yes - the perception is that disabilities are visible.  Those that aren't are more likely to be doubted.  If a kid looks normal, why does he not act as if he is normal?  It is something that is fixed with education - and that is likely to be a long process.

 

I think it'd be a lot easier to deal with a physical disability where people can SEE from the outside that there is something different with the kids than something like autism or aspergers or even adhd.

[Guest guest]

It is probably a hormone thing. I also have two teens ages 16 and 17, and my 17 year old is suffering from depression. So the hormones mixed with depression don't mix. Maybe when a teen has depression, or autism, etc. mixed along with hormones, it makes everything

hightened.

 

Jenn

 

 

I think almost all 12 year old boys regress in some ways.  That sounds flippant, but it isn't meant to be.  Even 'normal' boys can seem to go backwards in intelligence and (especially) plain common sense at that age.  Don't give up on your son - he may yet amaze everyone with what he can achieve.  The hard part is finding the motivation.

Our son (16) doesn't plan on moving out ever as he thinks it is financially advantageous to stay with us.  Not sure how that will work out long-term

 

Thanks everyone! One thing I have noticed with my son is that the older he gets, the more I see his Asperger's coming out. I think that is because while he looks 12 years old, emotionally he is only about 5 to 7 years old. So unless people talk to him, they may not know. Although the older he gets, the more unwilling he is to speak to others, and from what I have been told it is called Selective Mutism.

was diagnosed when he was 10 years old, after my Mom passed away. She had told me before she died, that she thought he had Aspergers. I wish my parents were still around, because it seems like since my Mom passed away (lost my Dad in 2001), I hardly hear from my siblings anymore, so they don't really understand what we go thru on a daily basis. And I could really use my parents support right now.

We have had a hard time getting to learn beyond multiplying single and some double digit numbers, and learning certain comprehension skills. He is only at a 3rd grade level in math and language arts, and he may never get past that, which I am totally okay with. Some people I know are having a hard time realizing that, because he 'looks normal', so he should be at a 'normal' grade level.

He honestly has also been regressing since December, and I am not sure why. It might be his age, I dunno. I have heard when our kids reach the pre-teen/teen years, some of them regress, or seem to regress. That is a big reason why I pulled him out of public school. Next year he would have been in Jr. High, and I know he would have never made it there!

Homeschooling him is a challenge, but I honestly feel like it is the best thing for him. And it is less stressful for him then a regular school environment. His teacher completely agreed with me to homeschool him thru an online charter school (which I do), while his Special Ed teacher was upset I took him out. But u know what? I know what is best for my son better then anyone else does.

And if he lives with us for the rest of our lives, we are prepared and accepting of that. I don't know why some people can't see our child's disability. Maybe some family members are in denial, because then they think that means something is wrong with their family, I dunno. I just wish people didn't see disabilities as a really bad thing. Yes it is a challenge, but there are some positive things about it.

I love my son's innocence, I love how he is forgiving towards others, and I love that he loves unconditionally. Those are the things I try to focus on when life gets tough for him. Jenn

�

Yes - the perception is that disabilities are visible.� Those that aren't are more likely to be doubted.� If a kid looks normal, why does he not act as if he is normal?� It is something that is fixed with education - and that is likely to be a long process.

�

I think it'd be a lot easier to deal with a physical disability where people can SEE from the outside that there is something different with the kids than something like autism or aspergers or even adhd.

[Guest guest]

We have two support groups where I live, and at both of them we have been talking about what to do once our kids reach adulthood. This doctor that came to one of them this month said that statistics show that most don't ever leave home, and most have a hard time keeping a job. Many are able to live semi independently, but many don't want to leave home, because they feel safer at home living with those they love. And they also have a hard time caring for themselves.

 

Anyways, I will never lose hope for my son that maybe someday he can live independently, but I also have to face the reality that may never happen. My son has so many fears at age 12, that seem to get worse as he gets older. A fear of germs, which stems mostly because he thinks the 'germs' are causing his sensory issues. It is painful for him to touch things, and because he saw this movie on germs in 4th grade at school, he thinks it is the germs causing him pain.

 

His Psychologist is trying to work with him, but so far is adamant and won't believe that germs aren't causing him pain. This fear is holding him back emotionally, and sometimes I wonder if this fear of germs will ever go away. His Psychologist is trying to get his online charter school to give an OT, to help with his sensory issues. But in the meantime, I have found some exercises that OT's do for our kids, and it does help some. Anyways, I hope someday he will be able to live independently, and I am teaching him life skills, but I also have to be prepared just in case.

 

Jenn

 

That is a very interesting subject for me to read about.  athan is only 10 and just diagnosised so knowing some of the things to look forward to is helping me understand what I should learn to pay more attention to.  And my family was very upset when my generation of children moved out......we are hispanic so we also have that closeness to live together for years into our adulthood.  I have dreams of my children being around for huge family dinners and other events.

To: autism-aspergers Sent: Wed, June 1, 2011 9:32:40 PM Subject: Re: Family Acceptance 

My family background is Italian. I didn't move out of home until I got married at the age of 26. That is normal for people who are traditional in their thinking as my family are. they would have disowned me had I tried to move out sooner. 

I think almost all 12 year old boys regress in some ways.  That sounds flippant, but it isn't meant to be.  Even 'normal' boys can seem to go backwards in intelligence and (especially) plain common sense at that age.  Don't give up on your son - he may yet amaze everyone with what he can achieve.  The hard part is finding the motivation.

Our son (16) doesn't plan on moving out ever as he thinks it is financially advantageous to stay with us.  Not sure how that will work out long-term  

Thanks everyone! One thing I have noticed with my son is that the older he gets, the more I see his Asperger's coming out. I think that is because while he looks 12 years old, emotionally he is only about 5 to 7 years old. So unless people talk to him, they may not know. Although the older he gets, the more unwilling he is to speak to others, and from what I have been told it is called Selective Mutism.

was diagnosed when he was 10 years old, after my Mom passed away. She had told me before she died, that she thought he had Aspergers. I wish my parents were still around, because it seems like since my Mom passed away (lost my Dad in 2001), I hardly hear from my siblings anymore, so they don't really understand what we go thru on a daily basis. And I could really use my parents support right now.

We have had a hard time getting to learn beyond multiplying single and some double digit numbers, and learning certain comprehension skills. He is only at a 3rd grade level in math and language arts, and he may never get past that, which I am totally okay with. Some people I know are having a hard time realizing that, because he 'looks normal', so he should be at a 'normal' grade level.

He honestly has also been regressing since December, and I am not sure why. It might be his age, I dunno. I have heard when our kids reach the pre-teen/teen years, some of them regress, or seem to regress. That is a big reason why I pulled him out of public school. Next year he would have been in Jr. High, and I know he would have never made it there!

Homeschooling him is a challenge, but I honestly feel like it is the best thing for him. And it is less stressful for him then a regular school environment. His teacher completely agreed with me to homeschool him thru an online charter school (which I do), while his Special Ed teacher was upset I took him out. But u know what? I know what is best for my son better then anyone else does.

And if he lives with us for the rest of our lives, we are prepared and accepting of that. I don't know why some people can't see our child's disability. Maybe some family members are in denial, because then they think that means something is wrong with their family, I dunno. I just wish people didn't see disabilities as a really bad thing. Yes it is a challenge, but there are some positive things about it.

I love my son's innocence, I love how he is forgiving towards others, and I love that he loves unconditionally. Those are the things I try to focus on when life gets tough for him. Jenn

�

Yes - the perception is that disabilities are visible.� Those that aren't are more likely to be doubted.� If a kid looks normal, why does he not act as if he is normal?� It is something that is fixed with education - and that is likely to be a long process.

�

I think it'd be a lot easier to deal with a physical disability where people can SEE from the outside that there is something different with the kids than something like autism or aspergers or even adhd.

[Guest guest]

As a parent, we have to do what we feel is best for our children.  People will always have opinions, and some will feel free to express those opinions.  But, they are not in our shoes.  As a parent, the best we can do is filter those opinions with the knowing of what works best for our unique child.  Every child is different.  I believe the best way to measure what works best in our unique circumstance with our unique child, is witnessing outcome.  If you know what you are doing is having positive results, I suggest thanking those others for their opinions, smiling and simply walking away.  People will alway have their opinions.  Anyone with a child on the spectrum is typically used to those disapproving looks from those who do not walk in our shoes.  I don't know about you, but I certinly have enough on my plate to deal with.  Adding concern over other's disapproval is just not something I entertain.

 

Debra 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am just wondering how many of you have family that either accept your child's disability, or are in denial? My older brother (who is a teacher) seems to be in denial, and thinks that me homeschooling my son thru an online charter school will ruin him. He also told me that 'labeling' him will only make things worse for him. But honestly, his diagnoses of Aspergers has actually helped him get the help he needs. I never really see my brother, so I don't understand how he can judge us like this.

Jenn

[Guest guest]

I have noticed the sensory things with as well......he has a very high pain tolerance which has always kinda bothered me. I try to keep him from wresling and other things that most little boys do so he doesn't get hurt.I wonder.....have you ever thought about maybe a small garden to help with the germ thing. I mean there are so many little bacteria and things on plants but if he can see that it will still grow beautifully and he helped it to grow by feeding it and keeping it clean. I have had to do that with my children when it came to introducing them to new foods.......let them help me cook and garden so that they became more involved with eating healthier. Sorry if that seems weird....its just an idea that came to me. It sounds as though you are

doin a great job with your son......I have faith that you will accomplish most of what you are working for now. I have even thought about maybe guest house for if it comes to him wanting to move out on his own so that he will feel as tho he is on his own but still close enough for me to help when he needs it. To: autism-aspergers Sent: Thu, June 2, 2011 7:31:02 AMSubject: Re: Family

Acceptance

We have two support groups where I live, and at both of them we have been talking about what to do once our kids reach adulthood. This doctor that came to one of them this month said that statistics show that most don't ever leave home, and most have a hard time keeping a job. Many are able to live semi independently, but many don't want to leave home, because they feel safer at home living with those they love. And they also have a hard time caring for themselves.

Anyways, I will never lose hope for my son that maybe someday he can live independently, but I also have to face the reality that may never happen. My son has so many fears at age 12, that seem to get worse as he gets older. A fear of germs, which stems mostly because he thinks the 'germs' are causing his sensory issues. It is painful for him to touch things, and because he saw this movie on germs in 4th grade at school, he thinks it is the germs causing him pain.

His Psychologist is trying to work with him, but so far is adamant and won't believe that germs aren't causing him pain. This fear is holding him back emotionally, and sometimes I wonder if this fear of germs will ever go away. His Psychologist is trying to get his online charter school to give an OT, to help with his sensory issues. But in the meantime, I have found some exercises that OT's do for our kids, and it does help some. Anyways, I hope someday he will be able to live independently, and I am teaching him life skills, but I also have to be prepared just in case.

Jenn

That is a very interesting subject for me to read about. athan is only 10 and just diagnosised so knowing some of the things to look forward to is helping me understand what I should learn to pay more attention to. And my family was very upset when my generation of children moved out......we are hispanic so we also have that closeness to live together for years into our adulthood. I have dreams of my children being around for huge family dinners and other events.

To: autism-aspergers Sent: Wed, June 1, 2011 9:32:40 PM Subject: Re: Family Acceptance

My family background is Italian. I didn't move out of home until I got married at the age of 26. That is normal for people who are traditional in their thinking as my family are. they would have disowned me had I tried to move out sooner.

I think almost all 12 year old boys regress in some ways. That sounds flippant, but it isn't meant to be. Even 'normal' boys can seem to go backwards in intelligence and (especially) plain common sense at that age. Don't give up on your son - he may yet amaze everyone with what he can achieve. The hard part is finding the motivation.

Our son (16) doesn't plan on moving out ever as he thinks it is financially advantageous to stay with us. Not sure how that will work out long-term

Thanks everyone! One thing I have noticed with my son is that the older he gets, the more I see his Asperger's coming out. I think that is because while he looks 12 years old, emotionally he is only about 5 to 7 years old. So unless people talk to him, they may not know. Although the older he gets, the more unwilling he is to speak to others, and from what I have been told it is called Selective Mutism.

was diagnosed when he was 10 years old, after my Mom passed away. She had told me before she died, that she thought he had Aspergers. I wish my parents were still around, because it seems like since my Mom passed away (lost my Dad in 2001), I hardly hear from my siblings anymore, so they don't really understand what we go thru on a daily basis. And I could really use my parents support right now.

We have had a hard time getting to learn beyond multiplying single and some double digit numbers, and learning certain comprehension skills. He is only at a 3rd grade level in math and language arts, and he may never get past that, which I am totally okay with. Some people I know are having a hard time realizing that, because he 'looks normal', so he should be at a 'normal' grade level.

He honestly has also been regressing since December, and I am not sure why. It might be his age, I dunno. I have heard when our kids reach the pre-teen/teen years, some of them regress, or seem to regress. That is a big reason why I pulled him out of public school. Next year he would have been in Jr. High, and I know he would have never made it there!

Homeschooling him is a challenge, but I honestly feel like it is the best thing for him. And it is less stressful for him then a regular school environment. His teacher completely agreed with me to homeschool him thru an online charter school (which I do), while his Special Ed teacher was upset I took him out. But u know what? I know what is best for my son better then anyone else does.

And if he lives with us for the rest of our lives, we are prepared and accepting of that. I don't know why some people can't see our child's disability. Maybe some family members are in denial, because then they think that means something is wrong with their family, I dunno. I just wish people didn't see disabilities as a really bad thing. Yes it is a challenge, but there are some positive things about it.

I love my son's innocence, I love how he is forgiving towards others, and I love that he loves unconditionally. Those are the things I try to focus on when life gets tough for him. Jenn

�

Yes - the perception is that disabilities are visible.� Those that aren't are more likely to be doubted.� If a kid looks normal, why does he not act as if he is normal?� It is something that is fixed with education - and that is likely to be a long process.

�

I think it'd be a lot easier to deal with a physical disability where people can SEE from the outside that there is something different with the kids than something like autism or aspergers or even adhd.

[Guest guest]

I think this question is like opening Pandora's Box, I am glad you asked it because so many of us have families who have been hurtful regarding our children and their differences. We don't have a realtionship with my brother-in-law and his wife primarily because they were so rude and judgemental whenever we were around with our children. I won't quote them but it is jaw-dropping some of the things they have actually said or written in emails directly to us. Basically, they think we are lazy and are parents who don't discipline because our children touch things and have trouble sitting still, even though we made them aware of the diagnosis and tried to educate them. And my father-in-law took their side (why there are sides in the first place is what I think is the root of the problem, but that is

another discussion) because well, after all, my sister-in-law is a high school math teacher, so she knows ALL about children and she knows best. We don't plan to ever see them again and after a grieving period, it really feels much better to focus on taking care of our children and being stringent gatekeepers about who we let into their lives. Our stress level is over the top every day, as you all well know, and we can't give any energy to people like that, we need our energy to cope with our children and their difficult behaviors. We will not allow anyone, family or not, to influence our children unless they are loving and supportive of what we are doing to meet their special needs. What I realize, and what might help you too, is that some people are just judgemental and they will always be like that. They think they know best even though they haven't walked in our shoes. They are not people who deserve to be around me or my precious children.

To: autism-aspergers Sent: Wed, June 1, 2011 6:05:28 PMSubject: Family Acceptance

I am just wondering how many of you have family that either accept your child's disability, or are in denial? My older brother (who is a teacher) seems to be in denial, and thinks that me homeschooling my son thru an online charter school will ruin him. He also told me that 'labeling' him will only make things worse for him. But honestly, his diagnoses of Aspergers has actually helped him get the help he needs. I never really see my brother, so I don't understand how he can judge us like this. Jenn

[Guest guest]

,

If it makes you feel better.  My 18 year old Aspie is graduating HS this Week (with HONORS) and will go away to college (only 2 hrs).  He said (up until Christmas) that he was never moving out and he would go to college locally so he could live at home.  I think that even though our kids are developing differently than others... they still undersatnd (eventually) that they do have to grow up and move on.  It just takes them a little bit longer~

 

Oh and btw my 14 yr old " typical " degressed at 12 too...

 

Era Kay 

 

I think almost all 12 year old boys regress in some ways.  That sounds flippant, but it isn't meant to be.  Even 'normal' boys can seem to go backwards in intelligence and (especially) plain common sense at that age.  Don't give up on your son - he may yet amaze everyone with what he can achieve.  The hard part is finding the motivation.

Our son (16) doesn't plan on moving out ever as he thinks it is financially advantageous to stay with us.  Not sure how that will work out long-term

 

Thanks everyone! One thing I have noticed with my son is that the older he gets, the more I see his Asperger's coming out. I think that is because while he looks 12 years old, emotionally he is only about 5 to 7 years old. So unless people talk to him, they may not know. Although the older he gets, the more unwilling he is to speak to others, and from what I have been told it is called Selective Mutism.

was diagnosed when he was 10 years old, after my Mom passed away. She had told me before she died, that she thought he had Aspergers. I wish my parents were still around, because it seems like since my Mom passed away (lost my Dad in 2001), I hardly hear from my siblings anymore, so they don't really understand what we go thru on a daily basis. And I could really use my parents support right now.

We have had a hard time getting to learn beyond multiplying single and some double digit numbers, and learning certain comprehension skills. He is only at a 3rd grade level in math and language arts, and he may never get past that, which I am totally okay with. Some people I know are having a hard time realizing that, because he 'looks normal', so he should be at a 'normal' grade level.

He honestly has also been regressing since December, and I am not sure why. It might be his age, I dunno. I have heard when our kids reach the pre-teen/teen years, some of them regress, or seem to regress. That is a big reason why I pulled him out of public school. Next year he would have been in Jr. High, and I know he would have never made it there!

Homeschooling him is a challenge, but I honestly feel like it is the best thing for him. And it is less stressful for him then a regular school environment. His teacher completely agreed with me to homeschool him thru an online charter school (which I do), while his Special Ed teacher was upset I took him out. But u know what? I know what is best for my son better then anyone else does.

And if he lives with us for the rest of our lives, we are prepared and accepting of that. I don't know why some people can't see our child's disability. Maybe some family members are in denial, because then they think that means something is wrong with their family, I dunno. I just wish people didn't see disabilities as a really bad thing. Yes it is a challenge, but there are some positive things about it.

I love my son's innocence, I love how he is forgiving towards others, and I love that he loves unconditionally. Those are the things I try to focus on when life gets tough for him. Jenn

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Yes - the perception is that disabilities are visible.� Those that aren't are more likely to be doubted.� If a kid looks normal, why does he not act as if he is normal?� It is something that is fixed with education - and that is likely to be a long process.

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I think it'd be a lot easier to deal with a physical disability where people can SEE from the outside that there is something different with the kids than something like autism or aspergers or even adhd.

[Guest guest]

My family is hard to read. I think some accept it and others think I am nuts just looking for an excuse to let my daughter do whatever she wants. They think she is spoiled because her her heart defects and surgeries and is now "wild". I've always known she was different but I think it's hard for family to understand when they aren't around much and don't really know the child. Just take it one day at a time and don't let your brother bring you down. Our lives are hard enough without letting our families making feel guilty.Subject: Family AcceptanceTo:

autism-aspergers Date: Wednesday, June 1, 2011, 7:05 PM

I am just wondering how many of you have family that either accept your child's disability, or are in denial? My older brother (who is a teacher) seems to be in denial, and thinks that me homeschooling my son thru an online charter school will ruin him. He also told me that 'labeling' him will only make things worse for him. But honestly, his diagnoses of Aspergers has actually helped him get the help he needs. I never really see my brother, so I don't understand how he can judge us like this.

Jenn