Re: Free Don't Stare at Autism cards

[Guest guest]

Jon,

You have total the wrong idea, we need to educate others around us, rather than

isolate ourselves from others. Many times when a person is staring it is because

they have a family member, younger child that has behavior just like the child

or person they are staring at, they need our help, we have the knowledge to

share.

I'm a long timer, my daughter is 21 one years old, soon to be 22 years old, and

there are many people who have stared over the years. I open my heart and my

life to them, because a long time ago when I started this email group, I knew

the numbers were on the rise of children being diagnosis with autism. I

struggled with very little resources, doctor threw their hand up, and it was

difficult, but it because of God and the help of others that my daughter is

talking a little, there were so many years that she did not. Burn your cards, or

change the wording, your cards drive away so many people that could be a

positive influence for our children, and adults.

Bev

List owner

>

> If it bothers you when people stare at your child, don't get upset, just

> hand them a Don't Stare at Autism card.

>

> They will stop staring and maybe they will be more helpful the next time

> they see a child with special needs.

>

> Download the Don't Stare at Autism template for free

> <http://www.driveforrebecca.org/SpecialNeeds.htm> at

> DriveFor.org. You can print them on Avery business card stock or

> just print them on plain paper, cut them out, and keep some in your

> pocket.

>

> Jon Singer

> DriveFor.org

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I agree with Jay here. Maybe I'm being ignorant (meaning I don't really

understand about this), but why is a curious stare at something or someone

considered to be rude? I agree that we should not have judgemental stares, or

prolonged episodes of staring (especially when a person KNOWS we are staring).

But, curiosity is part of our human nature. It is what helps us to learn and

experience new things in life. I am a homeschooling mom, so I welcome curiosity

in our home (unless it is something that will lead us to explore areas that go

against God's laws). Don't get me wrong. I don't encourage my kids to stare at

other people just because they are different. But, if they are looking at

someone in wheelchair, it is not because they are trying to be rude.

Even though I have 2 children with differences (one with autism, one with

Tourettes), I find MYSELF still " staring " at others with disabilities because I

want to know more of the story. And, if the opportunity presents itself, my

husband and I will try to find a way to discuss it more with the person, if they

are open. For example, during Sunday School one day, I was " staring " at someone

who recently started attending our church because I noticed he was showing signs

of tics. I wasn't sure at first but, as I continued to watch (without his

knowledge most of the time), I came to realize he has Tourettes like my own son.

I knew what signs to look for. I also brought it to the attention of my husband

and, later, we were able to be a tremendous help and encouragement to this man

because we KNEW what was going on. He never fully understood what it was that he

has until we talked to him about it. He was so grateful. So, my " staring " was

actually helpful in this case.

I guess it is just a matter of perspective. Some people think it is rude to

stare. Others do not. But, the most important thing for us to realize is that

staring does not always mean someone is intentionally trying to being rude.

Instead of being offended by staring, I think (at least for MY family) it is

more important to be gracious and not condemning, as MOST people are just

curious. And, given the opportunity, feel free to share with others your story.

No, we do not HAVE to give an explanation. However, think about how your story

might help someone else. That's just the way I see it.

-Vicky in IL

>

>   I don't really get why we are taught that it is always rude.  I do not

believe

> that prolonged watching is always intended as ignorant or agressive or

mean. 

> Lets face it that anythng we don't understand requires time to process and

take

> in and then to come to an understanding.  Our brains need time to integrate

> unknown experiences.  If someone or some thing is outside the norm then our

> thoughts need time to make some sense of what we see.  Often staring is just

a

> signal that the person is trying to figure out our child, perhaps wants to

> help. 

>    I think it is good to reframe staring and use it to an advantage.  If

we

> choose not to be offended  we can find an opening for a positive

encounter.  I 

> like to say,   " you look curious about my little one "   Ask them if they would

> like to be introduced to  " my special child.  I have found this is a great

way

> to gently engage and also model introductions for my child, have the stranger

> smile with them and offer that " starer " and my daughter a welcoming inclusive

> experience.

>

> Jay mom to a  beautiful teenager who looks, sounds  and acts extremely

uniquely

> in this world.

>

[Guest guest]

I think giving them a card, just makes the situation worst, then better! I try

to be patient and cheerful with people who stare.

Well, when I was much younger, once I threw a ex-large coke on a guy in a

restaurant that stared and made comments terrible threatening comments and

calling Jen names, he was tell me to take Jen out of the restaurant. I gave him

three warning and he continued to be ignorant, and we had done nothing, Jen was

just little at the time and had done nothing that I could see. The people in the

restaurant cheered, the manager told him to finish eating and leave as soon as

possible, then she gave me a new ex-large coke, so I can not say I was always

patient and cheerful. But, the soda was used well!

I just think, using a card is not speaking for yourself, and if their behavior

is that bad, then it should be addressed. Maybe I could have addressed the guys

behavior in a better manor.

I just don't think cards are the answer.

I do not like when people stare, Jen does not act that much different then

anyone else, since she has been on the drug Namenda, she does act different at

times, but most of the time she is pretty normal.

Bev

>

> It's hard to always be patient and cheerful with people who stare or

> make comments, but I always try to be honest and maybe even inject a

> little humor in there too. My daughter is a " runner " , so when I'd go

> to the grocery store, etc. I kept her in the shopping cart as long as

> I possibly could, until I could literally not fit her in there

> anymore. Lots of people would say, " Isn't she a little big to still

> be in the cart? " and I would just smile and say, " Definitely, but at

> least I know where she is and what she's doing! "

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

> >

> >  I don't really get why we are taught that it is always rude. I do not

believe

> > that prolonged watching is always intended as ignorant or agressive or

mean.Â

> > Lets face it that anythng we don't understand requires time to process and

take

> > in and then to come to an understanding. Our brains need time to integrate

> > unknown experiences. If someone or some thing is outside the norm then

our

> > thoughts need time to make some sense of what we see. Often staring is

just a

> > signal that the person is trying to figure out our child, perhaps wants to

> > help.Â

> >   I think it is good to reframe staring and use it to an advantage.  If

we

> > choose not to be offended we can find an opening for a positive

encounter. IÂ

> > like to say, Â " you look curious about my little one " Â Ask them if they

would

> > like to be introduced to " my special child. I have found this is a great

way

> > to gently engage and also model introductions for my child, have the

stranger

> > smile with them and offer that " starer " and my daughter a welcoming

inclusive

> > experience.

> >

> > Jay mom to a beautiful teenager who looks, sounds and acts extremely

uniquely

> > in this world.

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>