OUCH!!!

[Guest guest]

After falling in and out of the regimen several times, I decided that

Monday was going to be the day to start up again.

Well, of course, I get a call from my wife at 3 PM. It's Dana's

birthday and we're going to go to Boston's at 7 PM. Great. There

goes my first upper body workout. But, I figured, I can either make

it up on Tuesday, decide to skip it all together, or shift my

workouts by one day.

Well, I decide to skip it altogether because of our hectic schedule.

But Tuesday is going to be the day I get into it because, as sick as

this sounds, I love the treadmill.

In miles per hour it goes like this, per minute :

3,4,5,6,7,8,5,6,7,8,5,6,7,8,5,6,7,8,9,3,3

Okay, I know that that is an extra minute of walking at 3 mph. But,

I figure I need it. At that speed I can lunge a bit to make sure my

legs are nice and stretched out before I get off.

And wouldn't you know, I'm having a GREAT run? I didn't poop out on

the third set and was going strong into the last set. That is when

my own personal little monkey jumps on my back and starts to feel

like a big 40 ft tall gorill-ill-ill-a. But, I was able to ignore it

this time. Then the sprint comes in. I have to picture running a

400 meter dash in order to do it. The first 15 seconds I picture

going around the turn, then I long stride for 15 seconds down the

straightaway. Then I start picking up the speed, and picture going

all out for the mad dash at the end.

Well, I'm doing great. My fictional opponents are left in the dust

and I'm about to bury them by out sprinting them in the last 15

seconds when I make a mistake.

Now. One would think by the age of 28 I'd taken enough steps in my

life to know that you're supposed to step using the bottom of your

foot, not the side or top. Oh but you'd be wrong if you thought that

28 years of practice would prevent something like that from happening.

Instead of stepping down flat... It... Well... The only way I can

describe it is that I came down on it kinda sideways and kinda on the

top of my foot. I don't know how it happened. But it did.

My left foot curls under the force of my bodyweight (which as we all

can attest to is something more than we want to be carrying to begin

with, much less applying that increased downward force incorrectly),

I quickly put my right foot down, and with a set of reflexes and grip

that can only be matched by a vine swinging primate, I grab a hold of

the side bars and pull myself up off the treadmill.

Well, after that little debacle, I hobble over to sit down. Now, I

don't know about you, but when I'm through running, I like to take

nice deeps breaths. But, when I'm in severe pain I stop breathing.

Obviously I can't do both, as hard as my body tries to make that

happen. Picture garbled choking sounds and my face in a rictus of

pain and you'll see just how sexy I looked. Then the waves of nausea

kick in from the pain and physical exertion combined. Luckily, I'm

able to control them, thus avoiding more misery.

I then hobble up to the apartment and survey the damage. Nothing

broken, but one heck of a sprain. Swelling is already well

underway. Ironically, " Really... I'm just retaining fluid. " is a

quote that actually applies.

I call my wife who is still at work. Between the obligatory words of

sympathy are giggles as she pictures my less than graceful end to my

workout. Though, when she gets home she has a cane, ace bandages,

and three different types of ankle braces (velcro, lace-up, and one

that is velcro but has an included gel pad - which of course doesn't

do anything for my foot) for me to try out.

All in all, I was having a great workout (provided you ignore my

spectacular near miss of kissing the treadmill).

If not for the throbbing pain in my left foot, I was feeling really

good. I had a little endorphine rush going and everything. I felt

so good and so bad at the same time.

So...

It looks like I'll be taking a break from the challenge for a couple

of weeks. But, I'll be back. I'm still sticking to the diet and

hopefully this will help me get into more of my pairs of pants.

This email is a bit of a vent, cry for sympathy, and hopefully

something you are able to laugh at. Just imagine what I looked like

as I slipped on the treadmill. I'm cracking up just thinking about

it right now.

But, I'm not giving up. And remember. The next time you're doing

your cardio workout and it HURTS... Just keep in mind that it can

hurt A LOT worse if you follow my patented exit from the

treamill. " Do not attempt this at home. I'm a professional. "

Everyone be safe in your workouts.