Re: OT: Call for understanding in the wake of ...

[Guest guest]

Yes, I've read more about it as well, his behaviour has actually been quite difficult and I'm not sure why they (his parents) insist that he attend mass. However, as you say, the church hasn't done themselves any favours here.

The mother also "restrains" her child at church with "fabric restraints" tying his hands and feet. more to this story than what the media is making out. No sympathy with the church mind, our local catholic church has done nothing to accommodate us, however, there are 2 sides to this story. doesnt make it right though and restraining orders against parishioners is madness.

[Guest guest]

We are catholics and have given up taking to church.

He had to leave during his brothers communion and had to be taken out during my dads funeral.

He absolutely hates going to Church unless he has permission to climb the statues.

He becomes the centre of attention and gets absolutely nothing from being there, complete stress situation.

I take to church when I can, our priest has a severely autistic brother himself who spent many yrs in Broadmoor back in the bad old days.

He would never have banned but felt expecting any of us to make it to Church as a regular Sunday thing was unreasonable on us as a family rather than what any of his congregation thought.

I wonder why the mother is so insistant that a severely autistic child would want to go to church, certainly not my experience with . Our priest felt that god understood our non attendance and my own feelings are if god had wanted to be a regular church goer then he would have given him the tools to make that happen.

Vicky

[Guest guest]

We are catholics and have given up taking to church.

He had to leave during his brothers communion and had to be taken out during my dads funeral.

He absolutely hates going to Church unless he has permission to climb the statues.

He becomes the centre of attention and gets absolutely nothing from being there, complete stress situation.

I take to church when I can, our priest has a severely autistic brother himself who spent many yrs in Broadmoor back in the bad old days.

He would never have banned but felt expecting any of us to make it to Church as a regular Sunday thing was unreasonable on us as a family rather than what any of his congregation thought.

I wonder why the mother is so insistant that a severely autistic child would want to go to church, certainly not my experience with . Our priest felt that god understood our non attendance and my own feelings are if god had wanted to be a regular church goer then he would have given him the tools to make that happen.

Vicky

[Guest guest]

Maybe she believes that God can heal him. It seems harsh to criticise

her. I expect there is a lot more to this story on both sides

xx Sally

MaddiganV@... wrote:

>

> We are catholics and have given up taking to church.

> He had to leave during his brothers communion and had to be taken out

> during my dads funeral.

> He absolutely hates going to Church unless he has permission to climb

> the statues.

> He becomes the centre of attention and gets absolutely nothing from

> being there, complete stress situation.

> I take to church when I can, our priest has a severely

> autistic brother himself who spent many yrs in Broadmoor back in the

> bad old days.

> He would never have banned but felt expecting any of us to make

> it to Church as a regular Sunday thing was unreasonable on us as a

> family rather than what any of his congregation thought.

> I wonder why the mother is so insistant that a severely autistic child

> would want to go to church, certainly not my experience with . Our

> priest felt that god understood our non attendance and my own feelings

> are if god had wanted to be a regular church goer then he would

> have given him the tools to make that happen.

> Vicky

>

>

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17:04

>

[Guest guest]

Maybe she believes that God can heal him. It seems harsh to criticise

her. I expect there is a lot more to this story on both sides

xx Sally

MaddiganV@... wrote:

>

> We are catholics and have given up taking to church.

> He had to leave during his brothers communion and had to be taken out

> during my dads funeral.

> He absolutely hates going to Church unless he has permission to climb

> the statues.

> He becomes the centre of attention and gets absolutely nothing from

> being there, complete stress situation.

> I take to church when I can, our priest has a severely

> autistic brother himself who spent many yrs in Broadmoor back in the

> bad old days.

> He would never have banned but felt expecting any of us to make

> it to Church as a regular Sunday thing was unreasonable on us as a

> family rather than what any of his congregation thought.

> I wonder why the mother is so insistant that a severely autistic child

> would want to go to church, certainly not my experience with . Our

> priest felt that god understood our non attendance and my own feelings

> are if god had wanted to be a regular church goer then he would

> have given him the tools to make that happen.

> Vicky

>

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

> No virus found in this incoming message.

> Checked by AVG.

> Version: 7.5.524 / Virus Database: 269.23.21/1455 - Release Date: 19/05/2008

17:04

>

[Guest guest]

We had to give up taking Alasdair to Mass when he was little, but now

it is entirely possible, we are just bad Catholics!!

I can see why this mother does it though; I have seen parents bring

quite severely challenged children (not just with autism) to church

services before - I sort of interpret it as the whole family deriving

something from the celebration and ritual of the service, and the fact

that EVERYONE is included being a big part of that.

[Guest guest]

I don't see it as a criticism of the mother at all, I just know that I have a severely affected child who finds mass intolerable and I would not be doing the best by him in forcing the issue.

won't even tolerate assembly although it is being worked on to build to a reasonable amount of time given his problems.

It's just my opinion based on my experience with my child, there is no question of it being a good experience for any of us least of all him and I won't put him or us through it. That doesn't mean I think restraining orders should be needed.

Vicky

[Guest guest]

yes seems quite reasonable to me. God is for everyone

xx Sally

alasdairsmum wrote:

>

> We had to give up taking Alasdair to Mass when he was little, but now

> it is entirely possible, we are just bad Catholics!!

>

> I can see why this mother does it though; I have seen parents bring

> quite severely challenged children (not just with autism) to church

> services before - I sort of interpret it as the whole family deriving

> something from the celebration and ritual of the service, and the fact

> that EVERYONE is included being a big part of that.

>

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

> No virus found in this incoming message.

> Checked by AVG.

> Version: 7.5.524 / Virus Database: 269.23.21/1455 - Release Date: 19/05/2008

17:04

>

[Guest guest]

I agree with you Liam, but the problem I have with this is only garnered from my own severe child, who will go into rage and kick anyone indiscriminately, smash his head of the pews and floor and generally be a horrendous danger at 11yrs old and very strong, he can be quite psychotic in rage cycle, so there would be absolutely no possibility of any inner peace and definitely no outer peace.

I have also seen children and adults with LD's and some behaviours at Church, never, ever seen anything like in full meltdown though. I assumed this womans son was like mine, clearly he can't be or she would not gain anything herself from attending mass.

Vicky

[Guest guest]

Actually I don't go with Edith. I go without her. I don't get any sense

of peace if I go with Edith but that is not to say that this Mum

doesn't. It's just a very sad situation I think

Sally

Eva family wrote:

>

> I do myself Liam and if she does, so be it. Obviously not what her

> priest thought, but what I think

> Sally

>

> oneill_liam wrote:

> >

> > Maybe the mother needs to be there for here own sanity. Scientific

> > studies have shown that people do find a genuine sense of releif and

> > peace from being involved in religious ceremonies, irrespective of

> > the actual religion.

> >

> > I wouldn't criticise anyone for attending a religious ceremony with

> > an ASD kid. We give up so much for our children. If 30 minutes of

> > religion helps us to cope with the stress that we all experience,

> > then go for it.

> >

> >

> > >

> > > I don't see it as a criticism of the mother at all, I just know

> > that I have

> > > a severely affected child who finds mass intolerable and I would

> > not be doing

> > > the best by him in forcing the issue.

> > > won't even tolerate assembly although it is being worked on

> > to build to

> > > a reasonable amount of time given his problems.

> > > It's just my opinion based on my experience with my child, there

> > is no

> > > question of it being a good experience for any of us least of all

> > him and I won't

> > > put him or us through it. That doesn't mean I think restraining

> > orders

> > > should be needed.

> > > Vicky

> > >

> >

> >

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> 19/05/2008 17:04

> >

>

>

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17:04

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[Guest guest]

Can't see how I could find it peaceful with Connor either. No way I

could contain him for 30 mins and the stress would be worse than any

potential benefit. It is worth remembering that our kids are on a

very broad spectrum and each one faces different issues.

>

> I agree with you Liam, but the problem I have with this is only

garnered

> from my own severe child, who will go into rage and kick anyone

> indiscriminately, smash his head of the pews and floor and

generally be a horrendous danger

> at 11yrs old and very strong, he can be quite psychotic in rage

cycle, so

> there would be absolutely no possibility of any inner peace and

definitely no

> outer peace.

> I have also seen children and adults with LD's and some behaviours

at

> Church, never, ever seen anything like in full meltdown

though. I assumed this

> womans son was like mine, clearly he can't be or she would not

gain anything

> herself from attending mass.

> Vicky

>

[Guest guest]

Just seen this thread. Not read all of it but we sometimes take george

to the last 10 mins of the service so he can receive a blessing. There

is something v calming and moving about a priest laying his hands on

his head. Certainly does it for me. We are lucky in that our church

accepts him tantrums and all and we have a supportive congregation .

Helen x

>

> We had to give up taking Alasdair to Mass when he was little, but now

> it is entirely possible, we are just bad Catholics!!

>

> I can see why this mother does it though; I have seen parents bring

> quite severely challenged children (not just with autism) to church

> services before - I sort of interpret it as the whole family deriving

> something from the celebration and ritual of the service, and the

fact

> that EVERYONE is included being a big part of that.

>