Officially the worst list member

[Guest guest]

Hello everyone!

I am officially the worst list member lately. There have been so many e-mails

I've wanted to respond to but haven't had time and so many others I've deleted.

Glad to see the activity has picked back up though!I should be moving out my

apartment January 5th and I am SO glad. will be spending the next few days

at his girlfriend's house so at least I'll have a bit of space. He has been

spreading so many lies about me to his family, our friends, my family etc. He

told me he was ok with me going out with other people as well...I told him I

wasn't going to actively " date " anyone till Wilmington but he knows whom I'm

interested in...the actor. Well seeing as I can't drive he picks me up when we

go out...which is usually to church or some theater event. He came in to use the

restroom the other day when picking me up for church and we ran into on

the way out the door. I came home to find this nasty note saying I needed to not

ever come home again etc. and then his mother called my Dad and Mom and said

that he came home to find me WITH another man. Which sounded way worse than it

was. Yeah. I Wasn't wise, but I haven't been with him in that way at all. Its

not like that and I am not the one spending the night with other people the way

is. And told me that I needed to spend as much time away from him as

possible and its not like I have a whole lot of friends here or that I can

drive. Long story short, I just can't bash him to everyone we know like he has

been doing, so instead everyone has the wrong idea about me here and everyone

has been very rude and cold, our mutual friends, our neighbors, the leasing

office people, both of our families. He refuses to recognize the real reason why

our marriage is over. Some of ya'll know that I found out he had been visiting

adult Internet sites actively even since before we were married. I am totally

against that and I would have never married him knowing that (and he knew that

and lied to me about his beleifs and about his religious beleifs and about whom

he had slept with and etc.) I thought we could make it work but it just kept

getting worse and he blamed me for not being a good wife because I am sick all

the time..he said it a few many times. That pretty much

broke it right there as my Dad left my Mom because she was " sick all the time " .

SO anyway...... I feel horribly ostracized here and my only real friend is a guy

whom I am admittedly interested in but whom everyone is pointing the finger at

as being the reason I left ...which is not true and they are completely

unrelated and seperable by a few months.

I have been pretty pathetic about working out and eating up until lately. I was

supposed to cut back on high impact because of my back until I get certain tests

run. However, since I am giving up my medical insurance and have no way to the

doctor...I decided not to wait and have started back with Taebo carefully. I'm

using both advanced and basic but I'm not jumping at all and am stopping every

few moves to stretch.

I wish I had never slowed down with Taebo despite what the Doctor said. It is

helping me handle all of this stress. Plus, I have a whole lot of mental targets

now when I throw my punches. Lol.

Once I get moved in and find a job (keep your fingers crossed) I hope to be

better about posting. I'm also thinking about maybe planning a WMTC trip for

this summer...just to give me something to look forward to.

Hope everyone is well!

a