Re: lying and CMT ->to

[Guest guest]

,

I know its been a while since you wrote this amazing letter to me. I have added

your email to jog your memory. I have been swamped with kid stuff and have just

today had a chance to read email.

I had to say THANK YOU you have my son nailed!

I wish he would attend a few AA meetings and get his head outta his ass. He uses

the guilt on me big time, just last week even. I don't think he is lying now but

who knows. He feels like he just can't become anything better then a dish

washer. ( Not that there is anything wrong with a dish washer)

What agencies do you recommed he get a hold of for career counseling. I 'd like

him to do what you did after the chage of course

Thanks again!

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Wow, I can really relate to your son;s behavior. Not that that's a good thing.

From an early age, I began lying as a defense mechanism. I moved around alot and

had to make new friends, lies were more interesting than the truth, I thought. I

got very very good at lying. I began to realize that my skills in sympathy

getting could be used in daily life.

I lied my ass off to my mother and the main defense I used when she would

question me was anger. " How could you not believe me. "

Or my favorite, " Fine, don't believe me then. " therefore triggering the guilt

mechinism in her that I could control so well. You see, " I didn't ASK to be

born and if you had already known of this disease how could you have had more

kids like me? " (I told you, I was terrible, and I have asked for forgiveness many

times over from my mother)

Story: Once, when I was around 10, I didn't want to go to school. I faked being

sick, stuck the thermometer under a pillow. Tempurature 103. Went to the doctor

(mind you, I just didn't want to do to school). Doctor was poking my and I

figured I was in it deep so keep playing along. He poked me in my lower abdomen

and I said ouch. The next thing know, I'm getting my appendix out. I didn't

tell my mother until about 2 years ago. I'm 38.

Later in life I was able to get out of many a jamb by lying and using sympathy.

Sometimes I'd exaggerate the way I'd walk, just for a little extra theatrics.

Then I started using the lies on myself. I began thinking I really wasn't

capable of doing things that I really was at the time. I went on Social Security

Disability at the age of 20. I was using drugs and alcohol to suppress my mind

from telling me about my inevitable future. Things began to look bleak and I

didn't give a crap.This went on for quite a few years.

Then, for some reason, I pulled my head outta my ass (either that or my Higher

Power did (obscure AA refence).

I got in touch with government agencies and went to school. You know, there ARE

things that we are capable of doing, even in the extreme cases. Wait, sorry, I

take that back, there are cases (actually many) that you really can't do much.

But please don't lie to yourself and block any desire to find out how much you

ARE capable of. Start on top and work your way down.

I belong to a support group now for my worldly abuses and I am honest and open

about my life and that's SOOOO much more free than being trapped in a world of

lies so deep you start worrying about what you say to people because you can't

remember what you told them the last time you saw them and you know that your a

habitual liar.

One more funny story: I had a New Years Eve party and I invited all my friends.

Most actually came. Everything was going great until I realized something. I

was so good at keeping my different worlds apart so that my lies wouldn't

intertangle that, although the room was full of people that I considered my

closest friends, everybody had to be introduced. Not a good thing.