Women's Resilience

[Guest guest]

A Natural Force

Through the ages, women's strength has been rooted in resilience. Is

there a biological and social edge at work?

By Brink, Times Staff Writer

May 8, 2006

http://www.latimes.com/features/health/la-he-

resilience8may08,1,3724383.story?coll=la-headlines-health

SOMEWHERE, in most women's conscious or unconscious minds, is the

unspoken expectation that, if their marriages or relationships last,

they will most likely outlive their partners. They know that their

children, for whom they're primarily in charge, will grow up and

leave. And they face a barrage of advertising and other societal cues

that subtly but ever so steadily suggest that they're not getting

older, they're getting invisible.

But whether expected or a bolt from the blue, each loss, each change,

each transition, offers a woman the chance to slightly alter course —

or even try an entirely new path.

Credit stamina, stoicism — or what researchers call resilience,

meaning the ability to come back from serious adversity such as war,

rape or the devastation of a hurricane. Regardless of the name,

science is beginning to examine its source — a powerful combination

of biology, social behavior and psychology, all of which conspire to

give women some boosts that men don't have.

Certainly, suffering and change aren't the exclusive domain of women.

But this mix of physical and mental stuff that makes a female,

combined with a woman's typical life experiences, helps explain how

some teenage, poverty-stricken mothers get an education, a job and

raise the kids; how some mid-life dumpees and young widows are able

to dry their tears, roll up their sleeves and learn to change a tire;

how some long-cared-for wives learn, when their husbands die, where

the money is and how to balance a checkbook.

" I always told my husband, I want to go first. I don't want to live

without you, " says Florence Halpern, 76, of Woodland Hills, whose

husband, Philip, died 18 months ago. " And yet here I am. "

She's hardly alone.

Those 5.3 bonus years that women, who live to an average age of 80.1,

have over men are a mixed blessing, often leading to decreased

mobility and increased loneliness. " It's the price we pay for

survival, " says Barbara Migeon, geneticist at s Hopkins

University Medical School.

Not only do women live longer than men in the United States, this

year, for the first time, the longevity gap will likely become a

worldwide phenomenon.

Thanks to advances in maternal care, women in every corner of the

globe will outlive their male compatriots, according to projections

published in the April 8 issue of the British Medical Journal.

Their health advantage has long been chalked up to hormones. Now

scientists are starting to explore the DNA within each cell, and

they're finding some protective benefits to having a double dose of

the X chromosome, as females do, compared with the X-Y combination

that males have.

But biology alone can't keep a human being moving forward through

heartbreak. Social and behavioral scientists, too, are finding that

the networking skills first picked up in caves and passed on through

millenniums of grain- and berry-gathering serve women today in

getting through abuse, abandonment, infertility, divorce, widowhood —

even the collapse of a nation.

The fall of the former Soviet Union in 1991 gave social scientists a

tragic laboratory of research material to study gender

differences. " They found that single men were the most vulnerable. On

average they lived about six or seven years shorter than before the

fall. Most of these men couldn't find work, they hung out with each

other, they drank and smoked and were belligerent, " says E.

, social neuroscientist at UCLA and author of " The Tending

Instinct. "

Times were just as tough for the women, but, while there was a slight

drop in their life expectancy, females didn't die off in droves. Nor

did they drink, smoke and fight. " The women created informal social

networks. One person would stand in line for bread, another would

take care of children while another looked for work, " says

. " These networks were very sustaining for mental and physical

health. "

Genetic benefits

A female's biological advantage begins in the womb.

There, the fertilized egg that becomes a girl gets a double dose of

the X chromosome, while the egg that becomes a boy gets an X and a Y

chromosome. In both sexes, each cell carries the individual's genetic

code. In men, that's made up of genes on 22 pairs of chromosomes, and

one pair of mismatched sex chromosomes, an X and a Y. It's the same

for women, except each cell carries two copies of the X chromosome.

Yet no one can survive with two working versions of the X.

" Females aren't allowed to have twice as much gene product, so we

turn off one chromosome, " says Migeon, whose work on the topic was

published in the March 22/29 issue of the Journal of the American

Medical Assn. " It's random. In half your cells, it's the mother's X,

in the other half it's the father's. "

So women end up with two types of cells. A number of genetic diseases

originate on the X chromosome, such as color blindness, muscular

dystrophy and hemophilia. With only one X, boys might get just the

defective cells, while girls get a mixture of normal and defective

cells — a kind of backup system to prevent some diseases.

The system that protects women from some disorders can also backfire.

If one of the two types of cells comes to dominate, the other type

might escape recognition by immune system cells that

recognize " self, " triggering an internal attack. That might be why

women are more likely to suffer from autoimmune diseases such as

lupus. " There's no proof of this yet, but this is the implication, "

says Migeon.

Though autoimmune diseases, depression and connective tissue

disorders are more common in women, more lethal problems hit men

earlier and more often: cardiovascular diseases, diabetes,

alcoholism, duodenal ulcers and lung cancer.

Whatever the health problem, women almost invariably discover it

sooner. Their bodies send them to doctors' offices regularly for Pap

tests, contraception prescriptions or prenatal care.

" Women look after themselves from the age of 11 because they start to

bleed, " says Sebastian Kraemer, a child and adolescent psychiatrist

in London whose research on the flip side of resilient females, " The

Fragile Male, " was published in the British Medical Journal in

December 2000. " A tendency for care is really forced on a woman. "

Men, short of accidents or health crises, are traditionally no-shows

in doctors' offices. Women early on establish lifelong patterns of

attention to their bodies, including check-ups, preventive screenings

and ears tuned to medical advice.

Mixing instinct and know-how

BIOLOGY and medical visits get women off to a good start. Then a

woman's psychological need to " tend and befriend, " found, can

protect her through hard times far more effectively than the much-

studied counterpart impulse in men: " fight or flight. " The lucky

children benefit from the caretaking. But some of those less than

lucky, remarkably, figure out how to compensate.

It was -Figueroa's mother who tended her two children

during a long journey through Mexico from El Salvador, calmed their

fears as they were smuggled over the border in a bus and reunited the

family with their father in Los Angeles. It was her mother, who, as a

housekeeper, networked her way into better housing. She befriended a

client who offered a house for rent in a safe neighborhood so that

the family could move from the crime-infested neighborhood at 23rd

and San Pedro. -Figueroa could leave behind memories of the

sounds of violence and the need to step over people in drug and

alcohol stupors.

It was her mother, too, who insisted her children learn English

within six months, and pounded the message like a drumbeat that there

were reasons they took the risks of immigration: a good education and

better life for the children.

" We were here to make ourselves better. It was expected. It wasn't an

option, " -Figueroa says. She now holds a doctorate and does

research at UCLA on cultural barriers. She and her family are U.S.

citizens. To call her mother's contribution " nurturing " is an

understatement.

After 25 years of research and analyzing more than 1,000 studies,

found that early maternal nurturing, like -Figueroa

received, can have an extraordinary effect on children.

" A mother's tending can completely eliminate the potential effects of

a gene, " she says. Risk for a disease, like depression, can fail to

materialize, and so can an inborn propensity to crumble under stress.

But females themselves, as early as infancy, start acting in ways

that could well protect them later. As babies, they send out stronger

signals than males that they're open for communication. " Little girls

raise their eyebrows, open their eyes wide, and give people the

impression that they really want to talk, " says Kraemer. Wanting to

talk, and learning to speak about intimate feelings, serves women

well for a lifetime, even in the most dire circumstances.

Kennedy, assistant professor at the school of social work at

Michigan State University, extensively interviewed 10 young women who

grew up in Chicago's ghettos. All of them had witnessed violence,

some had been its victims, all were teenage mothers and none had good

family support. Yet four of the young women managed to go to school,

get jobs and escape the cycle of poverty. One thing they had in

common was an ability to connect with someone outside the circle of

trouble.

" These are the kids that a teacher or a neighbor is drawn to, "

Kennedy says.

About the only thing Frutos' mother gave her was a lot to

overcome. So Frutos looked elsewhere for help — and she also dug deep

inside herself. Both of her parents were heroin addicts, in and out

of jail. Two older sisters became prostitutes, one was murdered —

left to die in a field — while hooking.

By third grade, Frutos was regularly accompanying her parents on

shoplifting sprees. " They would use us as a coverup, " says Frutos,

35, of Fresno. " We would go in the grocery store, steal whiskey. My

mom had a great big purse, my dad would shove it down his pants. Then

at the end of the day they would sell the items, and go get their

heroin. "

While her parents robbed and shot up and roaches scurried around the

kitchen, Frutos memorized poems, such as " A Psalm of Life, " by Henry

Wadsworth Longfellow. She recited them in her head like a mantra.

In high school, a teacher noticed her. He gave her information on

financial aid, got money from a parents' fundraising bingo group to

help prepare her for advanced placement courses, and told her over

and over that she was university material.

The message resonated. " I think, deep in my core, I knew my parents'

way wasn't for me, " says Frutos. Today she is a nurse practitioner,

married and expecting her first child. An innate belief that one is

somehow special, Kennedy found, was also a common element in children

who work their way out of terrible circumstances.

Genetic research is confirming that some people are, indeed, special.

They may have inherited a particular gene that programs them for

added resilience in the face of adversity. Simply put, those with

advantageous DNA, including what's called the 5HTT gene, bounce back

better.

But for those who lack the gene, all may not be lost. Sue

Heilemann, professor in the school of nursing at UCLA, studied 315

women who had emigrated from Mexico. If resilience is in part an

inborn personality trait, attitude and circumstance can give it a

shot in the arm. " What some theoreticians imply is that you either

have it or you don't, " says Heilemann. " Even if that's the truth,

what if you have a little bit of resilience? Is there something that

can boost it? "

Her study found, not surprisingly, that money is a resiliency

booster. But the amount necessary to keep on truckin' doesn't conform

to the usual definitions of poverty or wealth. " Women who said that

their finances were adequate to meet their needs during the last

month coped well, " she says. Enough money to meet monthly

obligations, whether that's a $500 rent check or a $5,000 mortgage

payment, can ignite a spark of resilience.

Biology, psychology and instinct can take women a long way. But

Heilemann's research is a reminder that, though friends, support and

nurturing count a great deal, when a crisis intrudes, even strong,

resilient women have to be able to cover the bills.

The friendship factor

IT takes only casual observation and a modicum of life experience to

see that women are good at making friends, and that their friendships

are important to them. Women are nurturers, caretakers and talkers.

Science, says , has charted the benefits of nurturing

throughout the brain.

The female instinct to call in the helper troops, that network of

girlfriends, sets up a chemical cycle unique to women. When females

feel stress, says, the hormone oxytocin is released. That

encourages them to protect the kids and start the telephone tree

going. Contact with children or friends releases more oxytocin,

further calming them and everyone around them.

The hormone works better at reducing stress for women, says,

because estrogen apparently enhances the action of oxytocin, while

testosterone seems to reduce its effect.

" What you see in the brain is lower activity in the anterior

cingulate cortex, greater activity in prefrontal cortical regions and

lesser activity in the hypothalamus among people with strong

networks, " says . Other researchers have connected those areas

to heart rate and blood pressure regulation, as well as to emotions

and empathy. Women literally carry around a network of support in

their heads.

That may be why those supportive girlfriends that women so famously

cultivate don't have to be next door, down the block or even in the

same city. Women just have to believe the network is there, and will

rally when the SOS sounds.

With America's mobile society, Finchum, professor at Oklahoma

State University, wondered how important proximity was to friendship.

She talked to 25 women, age 45 and older, who had relocated across

state lines several times in their lives and kept in touch with old

friends. It takes, she found, at least once-a-year contact such as a

Christmas card, for the relationship to continue — two missed years,

and the friendship is history.

But letters, telephone calls and e-mail updates, detailed and honest

about bad news as well as good, were a fine substitute for what might

have once been a face-to-face coffee break or shopping

expedition. " They don't just paint a rosy picture, " she says. " They

share intimacies, right down to the nitty gritty. "

Far-away friends have helped sustain Halpern through the grief of

widowhood. Her best friends go back decades and most of them live in

New York.

" I'll call Shirley and talk for two-and-a-half hours. Sisterly

things. Motherly things, " she says. " And Gloria, she's a friend from

the third grade. I sat behind her in class, and I'll never forget,

she had pigtails. And Irene — I worked with her in a bank at the

Empire State Building. When I feel a need to talk, I'll call any of

these people. "

Men, women and children, for the most part, seek their comfort from

women. And, unless the demands become overwhelming, the nurturer's

health and well-being are aided by the very act of helping. " If you

look at people who give a lot of social support and compare them over

time, the givers as well as the recipients are healthier, " says

.

So a woman with young ones in tow, or aging parents who need help, or

a husband who depends on her for his social and conversational

support is getting back at least some of what she's giving.

Giving — to her 18-month-old daughter — was life-saving, says Ingrid

Weiss-Salveson, 45, of Mt. Baldy. That's how old her child was when

her husband, a firefighter, died in 1995. The shock of young

widowhood sent her into despair.

But she always knew she had to get out of bed each morning. " What

kept me grounded was my daughter, " says Weiss-Salveson. " made

me smile every day. She gave me the will to live and move on. "

Later in life, grown children often return the favor, providing

support to mothers left alone. A year and a half after her husband's

death, Halpern still mourns and continues to miss the companionship

of the man who always had a smile for her. But her sons are good

weekend company, and her five grandchildren are potential companions

for the travel she still wants to do. She keeps her calendar filled

with volunteer work at the Jewish Home for the Aging, lectures, games

of mah-jongg and an occasional bus trip to see an opera.

" I cry. And then I make a plan, " she says. " I do things I've never

done before. "