Rehabilitation

[Guest guest]

Hi Roman,

Will try to answer your questions. I do have a strong belief in the

power of God acting in my life (so long as I step aside and let God

work!) So, I suppose this means that " faith " does play a part.

However, this has only been a part of my life for 26 years. Before

that I was a depressed, whiney, fallin' down drunk party girl, trying

to 'pretend' I did not have CMT and also trying to 'prove' I was fine.

A huge key for me was self-honesty. This didn't happen overnight and

I still keep a check on this.

As for anxiety - it took me years to understand the difference

between anxiety and anticipation (and excitement). Now at least I

recognize the differences, and when I get anxious (seldom, but it

does happen), one of my most theraputic tools is writing in a

journal. No one sees it but me and it is the greatest therapy.

I also have had chronic insomnia most of my adult life, so when

those " night ghosts " come about 3-4 am, I get up, give my dog some

cookies and we sit on the couch in peace and I write what is on my

mind. This may sound strange, but just writing and listening to

Wiggles crunch those cookies is a sort of meditation for me.

I have had formal and informal meditation training - everything from

Transcendental meditation, to meditations of the great Church

fathers, to more 'new age' style meditations, always accompanied by

deep, rhythimic breathing. So my meditations are just pieces of what

I have picked up over the years, plus what I have absorbed from my 12

step program. And when nothing else works, instead of meditation, I

will speak to God directly - for that I like to be outside, no matter

how cold, or hot, but feeling the wind, the elements, connecting with

nature in that way gets me centered on what is really important.

When God's not available (lol - or rather when I forget about his

availability!) I have a couple of very trusted friends to talk to. I

just did this yesterday and talking things out is immensely helpful.

To help me learn more about prayer and meditation, I read all the

books by Merton. I have to tell you, his book " The Seven Story

Mountain " really started me on quite a quest and thirst for a deeper,

richer faith. And knowing he was a party boy himself at one time, I

sure could relate.

It seems the " imagined terrors " of my own mind are always worse than

anything that has happened to me in day to day life.

You know I exercise regularly, and that in the pool, as I'm working

out, I turn out the lights, and the darkness, the warm water is so

soothing, it helps me think naturally and safely. Plus after exercise

I feel like I can handle anything.

I am still taking Vitamin E which I do believe has helped my skeletal

muscle, and I have just written a research review of E used on rat

models who were induced with neuropathic pain. The research roved

that the rats pain was halted with Vitamin E.

I guess what I want to say is maintain a grateful heart, keep busy

with projects, writing, your cooking, and go sit in a forest or a

park and just breathe in and out for starters. Sometimes what is the

most simple works the best with me.

~ Gretchen

[Guest guest]

Hi Gretchen,

I'll be away for two weeks and I'll try to " meditate " on what you say.

Right now I'm feeling rather lousy. Thank you.

Roman