Re: Feeling down

August 14, 2006

You usually have a great attitude, so I know you must be very bummed.

The thing that makes being bummed last longer and makes it worse is

when we start being hard on ourselves. Cut yourself some slack. Those

pictures really hit you hard, but you still have to like yourself and

wish yourself well, (you have to because if you don't nobody else

will) even if you didn't look how you'd like to look in those

pictures. Even if you aren't as thin as (some) women in your office,

doesn't make you any less worthy of love, respect , compassion and

good health.

Sounds like you've been busting your ass working hard and depriving

yourself with the idea that you would get a certain result and you

are disappointed.

That is very very frustrating for you and it's putting you out of

balance. One side of you that wants to work hard and look a certain

way and another side of you that is pissed off and wants to enjoy

certain foods. You need to figure out how to satisfy both sides of

you -- a compromise that they both could agree on. Maybe the hard

working side is being too ambitious or too perfectionistic about your

goals, maybe the eating side of you has been suppressed, is tired of

trying so hard, and wants to come out and have a temper tantrum.

Figure out how to help your dark side, something else that will make

her happy that won't hurt the " good girl " side of you -- and won't

hurt your body or make you feel bad physically. Sit down -- have a

good hard cry at how hard you've been working, how frustrated you

are, and then get all the 's on the committee and come up with

a reasonable plan that will work for everybody. You can do it!!!

Good luck

felicity

> Hi everyone, usually I'm very motivated and focused by I am

> definitely in a rut right now. I know what the trigger is, it

> happened this past Friday. I took the day off and went to the beach

> and leisurely bikeriding with my husband (kids were in daycare). We

> had a great day. He took some pix of our day out, sounds great right?

>

> When I looked at them I got really bummed out. I've been busting my

> butt following clean eating, counting calories, working out hard,

> daily training, yadda yadda yadda. I hate the photos. All I see is

> my big butt, cellulite and even some of the dreaded back fat! Damn.

>

> I feel like everything I do is a big waste of time. Why bother? That

> was it. I ate pizza Friday night and had chocolate ice cream for

> dessert. Saturday was no better. I pretty much said 'fuck it' all

> weekend (pardon my swearing, but that is the truth). I blew off all

> of my workouts. No HIIT in the park Sunday. My husband wanted to go

> roller blading last night. I was not in the mood. Instead I was in

> the mood for chocolate, ice cream, pretzels, brownies and donuts.

> And it tasted great! And I sat on my ass watching tv.

>

> This morning I woke up completely unmotivated. Screw the workout

> today, I said. Might as well enjoy food because it makes no

> difference to my physique. I'm at the same body weight as when I

> started this whole BFL/BFFM thing. And I enjoyed a white flour

> cinnamon raisin bagel with cream cheese. Yum, lots of processed

> food.

>

> So i have no interest in working out. No interest in eating healthy.

> I'm planning out some 'off plan' unclean series of meals for the

> day. I've pretty much given up.

>

> I know I sound like I'm feeling sorry for myself and maybe I am.

> All I notice are the skinny women around here (my office, at the

> coffee shop this morning) scarfing down their whipped frappucino

> treats with extra whipping cream on top. I might as well enjoy the

> same type of crap, keep my flabby ass and get over thinking I'll

> achieve what I want.

>

August 14, 2006

, I think it would really help you to focus on a goal besides how

you look. Right now you have the energy to spend a day at the beach, go

bike riding, and go rollerblading if you wanted to.

But you know what? " Use it or lose it " is more than just a catchy

phrase, it's true. I don't know how old you are right now, but when I

was 42 I was in such crappy shape that I never wanted to do anything

with my family. A day at the beach sounded like torture, because it

required too much effort just to carry stuff from the car down to the

beach. And forget bike riding or anything else!

It wasn't until I changed my focus from " weight loss " to " getting fit

and healthy " that things finally clicked into place for me, and my

weight loss of 40 pounds happened incidentally.

Naomi, fit and happy at age 47

******

>

> Hi everyone, usually I'm very motivated and focused by I am

> definitely in a rut right now. I know what the trigger is, it

> happened this past Friday. I took the day off and went to the beach

> and leisurely bikeriding with my husband (kids were in daycare). We

> had a great day. He took some pix of our day out, sounds great right?

>

> When I looked at them I got really bummed out. I've been busting my

> butt following clean eating, counting calories, working out hard,

> daily training, yadda yadda yadda. I hate the photos. All I see is

> my big butt, cellulite and even some of the dreaded back fat! Damn.

>

> I feel like everything I do is a big waste of time. Why bother? That

> was it. I ate pizza Friday night and had chocolate ice cream for

> dessert. Saturday was no better. I pretty much said 'fuck it' all

> weekend (pardon my swearing, but that is the truth). I blew off all

> of my workouts. No HIIT in the park Sunday. My husband wanted to go

> roller blading last night. I was not in the mood. Instead I was in

> the mood for chocolate, ice cream, pretzels, brownies and donuts.

> And it tasted great! And I sat on my ass watching tv.

>

> This morning I woke up completely unmotivated. Screw the workout

> today, I said. Might as well enjoy food because it makes no

> difference to my physique. I'm at the same body weight as when I

> started this whole BFL/BFFM thing. And I enjoyed a white flour

> cinnamon raisin bagel with cream cheese. Yum, lots of processed

> food.

>

> So i have no interest in working out. No interest in eating healthy.

> I'm planning out some 'off plan' unclean series of meals for the

> day. I've pretty much given up.

>

> I know I sound like I'm feeling sorry for myself and maybe I am.

> All I notice are the skinny women around here (my office, at the

> coffee shop this morning) scarfing down their whipped frappucino

> treats with extra whipping cream on top. I might as well enjoy the

> same type of crap, keep my flabby ass and get over thinking I'll

> achieve what I want.

>

August 14, 2006

, how long have you been doing BFL? And be honest---have you

really made NO progress? Your clothes fit the same? You don't have

more energy? You don't feel better?

I can totally understand your rut. I've been in it several times,

and I'm especially susceptible when I've not had any appreciable

change in some weeks. It happens to me frequently and it's very

annoying because I usually have a high level of dedication. I think

that can make it worse. You feel betrayed. " Here I am doing

everything they say it takes. I eat clean, I never miss a workout,

I always take my supplements. And my friend who simply refuses to

eat two meals a day and has peanut buster parfait for dinner loses 2

lbs a week! " Yea, I know.

But then I remind myself...I really HAVE made progress. And my

friend who ate the peanut buster parfait gained back all her weight

and gets winded walking a flight of stairs. But I can do a two hour

MMA class and feel MORE energetic at the end of it than I did at the

beginning! And yes, I still have the dreaded back fat when my bra

is too tight, but I can do 20 man pushups and my skinny mom can't do

one.

And I want to warn you--you are prolonging the rut with all the

sugar/white flour foods. You eat it, get an insulin high, then you

crash and feel more depressed and the easy fix is more insulin.

Don't go that road! I am re-losing a bunch of weight I had already

lost and it's twice as hard this time. I got in the same rut you

are in and gained over 30 lbs. I'm just now getting close to what I

used to be before the rut.

Candid pictures are the worst! You aren't in good positions and

good light. It can be very depressing. Video is also painful. But

this isn't just about looks. It's about the fact that you can go

and ride a bike and not have a coronary.

So in short, put down the ice cream before you hurt yourself. You

don't want to wake up someday with a Krispy Kreme in your hands, 40

lbs. heavier than you are now, and unable to tie your shoes without

assistance.

K...

>

> Hi everyone, usually I'm very motivated and focused by I am

> definitely in a rut right now. I know what the trigger is, it

> happened this past Friday. I took the day off and went to the

beach

> and leisurely bikeriding with my husband (kids were in daycare).

We

> had a great day. He took some pix of our day out, sounds great

right?

>

> When I looked at them I got really bummed out. I've been busting

my

> butt following clean eating, counting calories, working out hard,

> daily training, yadda yadda yadda. I hate the photos. All I see is

> my big butt, cellulite and even some of the dreaded back fat! Damn.

>

> I feel like everything I do is a big waste of time. Why bother?

That

> was it. I ate pizza Friday night and had chocolate ice cream for

> dessert. Saturday was no better. I pretty much said 'fuck it' all

> weekend (pardon my swearing, but that is the truth). I blew off

all

> of my workouts. No HIIT in the park Sunday. My husband wanted to

go

> roller blading last night. I was not in the mood. Instead I was

in

> the mood for chocolate, ice cream, pretzels, brownies and donuts.

> And it tasted great! And I sat on my ass watching tv.

>

> This morning I woke up completely unmotivated. Screw the workout

> today, I said. Might as well enjoy food because it makes no

> difference to my physique. I'm at the same body weight as when I

> started this whole BFL/BFFM thing. And I enjoyed a white flour

> cinnamon raisin bagel with cream cheese. Yum, lots of processed

> food.

>

> So i have no interest in working out. No interest in eating

healthy.

> I'm planning out some 'off plan' unclean series of meals for the

> day. I've pretty much given up.

>

> I know I sound like I'm feeling sorry for myself and maybe I am.

> All I notice are the skinny women around here (my office, at the

> coffee shop this morning) scarfing down their whipped frappucino

> treats with extra whipping cream on top. I might as well enjoy

the

> same type of crap, keep my flabby ass and get over thinking I'll

> achieve what I want.

>

August 14, 2006

> dragon

I've said it before and i'll say it again -- you are one of my role

models

felicity

> It wasn't until I changed my focus from " weight loss " to " getting fit

> and healthy " that things finally clicked into place for me, and my

> weight loss of 40 pounds happened incidentally.

>

> Naomi, fit and happy at age 47

> ******

>>

>> Hi everyone, usually I'm very motivated and focused by I am

>> definitely in a rut right now. I know what the trigger is, it

>> happened this past Friday. I took the day off and went to the beach

>> and leisurely bikeriding with my husband (kids were in daycare). We

>> had a great day. He took some pix of our day out, sounds great right?

>>

>> When I looked at them I got really bummed out. I've been busting my

>> butt following clean eating, counting calories, working out hard,

>> daily training, yadda yadda yadda. I hate the photos. All I see is

>> my big butt, cellulite and even some of the dreaded back fat! Damn.

>>

>> I feel like everything I do is a big waste of time. Why bother? That

>> was it. I ate pizza Friday night and had chocolate ice cream for

>> dessert. Saturday was no better. I pretty much said 'fuck it' all

>> weekend (pardon my swearing, but that is the truth). I blew off all

>> of my workouts. No HIIT in the park Sunday. My husband wanted to go

>> roller blading last night. I was not in the mood. Instead I was in

>> the mood for chocolate, ice cream, pretzels, brownies and donuts.

>> And it tasted great! And I sat on my ass watching tv.

>>

>> This morning I woke up completely unmotivated. Screw the workout

>> today, I said. Might as well enjoy food because it makes no

>> difference to my physique. I'm at the same body weight as when I

>> started this whole BFL/BFFM thing. And I enjoyed a white flour

>> cinnamon raisin bagel with cream cheese. Yum, lots of processed

>> food.

>>

>> So i have no interest in working out. No interest in eating healthy.

>> I'm planning out some 'off plan' unclean series of meals for the

>> day. I've pretty much given up.

>>

>> I know I sound like I'm feeling sorry for myself and maybe I am.

>> All I notice are the skinny women around here (my office, at the

>> coffee shop this morning) scarfing down their whipped frappucino

>> treats with extra whipping cream on top. I might as well enjoy the

>> same type of crap, keep my flabby ass and get over thinking I'll

>> achieve what I want.

>>

>

August 14, 2006

I've been on and off this board for years now. I think close to 5. One thing I

finally learned is

that when I have 1 free day or free meal off it's just that and I've learned to

do it with no

guilt. I get right back up and eat clean the next day. It hasn't been easy but I

feel I have made

great gains mentally when I do this. Wednesday I had a free dinner. Pizza, Huge

snoball with

ice-cream and marshmellow. By Saturday I was down 2 pounds. I got right back up

and ate

clean the next day. Guilt can't be your leader. You need to take the day, meal

or whatever off

ENJOY IT and move on. Realistically in life there are going to be times where

two or three

meals a week will be off plan. But you could go 2 weeks with no reason to eat a

free meal.

Each day is different...

I've posted the same post as you several times... so I understand.

August 14, 2006

Oh my gosh, I have had several days of feeling down, like a year

full of them! IN that year I learned a lot. I had a lot to deal

with, my hubby was going through a chemical imbalance and his

behavior changed a lot. Every day I was worried about how his

behavior would affect my children and me. Unfortunately, BFL was put

on the backburner. Looking back and learning, I wish I would have

been strong enough to keep on going! I would have been beyond my

goals! My hubby is on meds now and I have nothing to get in my way

now, except for days like yours, which I know I will have. Most

people who are succesful with weight loss and are healthy don't give

up. When successful weight losers and health gainers have a bad day

or two, they don't give up but get back on it that day or the next

day.

Did you take a before picture to compare to your results now? DId

you measure yourself? Take a body fat %? Even though you haven't

lost weight, your body is changing for the better. You may have

lost inches and fat. Take body measurements to see results, plenty

of people doing BFL have gained weight or have not lost any weight

but went down in size. The benifits of eating healthy and

exercising are well worth not noticing results. Just a few benefits

are reducing the risk of heart problems, stroke, and other diseases,

lowering doctor bills, having a great outlook on life, and feeling

better. Other than the last couple of days, did you feel better

while doing BFL rather than when you started?

To keep me motivated, I sometimes look at the website

bodychangers.com or I enter my food in fitday.com to see what my

protein, carb, and fat ratios are. I also meaure my food and check

out how many calories I am eating for the week because sometimes my

hand gets bigger and so do my food portions. I also check out my

free day and make sure I am not eating a zillion calories.

You probaby know everything I typed. I am very familiar with the

mood you are in and at the time I need someone to kick me in the

butt and tell me to get with it! THe only last thing I can say is

get off your butt and JUST DO IT because I know that is what you

want! Why are you waiting? You won't make progress by sitting on

your butt! There is still time to do your workout today and eat

healthy for the rest of the day and week. Who cares if your workout

isn't the first thing in the morning....Just do it and do it for

YOURSELF!!!

Do you really want a whipped Fra...?? They aren't that great

anyway. (MINDSET) Who knows what weight problems your co-workers

stuggle with themselves. I know a lot of people who are skinny but

are bulemic! (my niece, mother-in-law, sister-in-laws) Not saying

that everyone is but a lot of people struggle. Be proud of yourself

by becoming healthy the right way....and when you reach some of your

goals, treat yourself to something you want. Make it fun, don't

worry about others, if I waited for husband to be totally mentally

healthy to do BFL, I might be dead by then because of not taking

care of me.

Promise me and yourself that you will do your HIIT today and make

better eating choices! It is what you REALLY want!

>

> Hi everyone, usually I'm very motivated and focused by I am

> definitely in a rut right now. I know what the trigger is, it

> happened this past Friday. I took the day off and went to the

beach

> and leisurely bikeriding with my husband (kids were in daycare).

We

> had a great day. He took some pix of our day out, sounds great

right?

>

> When I looked at them I got really bummed out. I've been busting

my

> butt following clean eating, counting calories, working out hard,

> daily training, yadda yadda yadda. I hate the photos. All I see is

> my big butt, cellulite and even some of the dreaded back fat! Damn.

>

> I feel like everything I do is a big waste of time. Why bother?

That

> was it. I ate pizza Friday night and had chocolate ice cream for

> dessert. Saturday was no better. I pretty much said 'fuck it' all

> weekend (pardon my swearing, but that is the truth). I blew off

all

> of my workouts. No HIIT in the park Sunday. My husband wanted to

go

> roller blading last night. I was not in the mood. Instead I was

in

> the mood for chocolate, ice cream, pretzels, brownies and donuts.

> And it tasted great! And I sat on my ass watching tv.

>

> This morning I woke up completely unmotivated. Screw the workout

> today, I said. Might as well enjoy food because it makes no

> difference to my physique. I'm at the same body weight as when I

> started this whole BFL/BFFM thing. And I enjoyed a white flour

> cinnamon raisin bagel with cream cheese. Yum, lots of processed

> food.

>

> So i have no interest in working out. No interest in eating

healthy.

> I'm planning out some 'off plan' unclean series of meals for the

> day. I've pretty much given up.

>

> I know I sound like I'm feeling sorry for myself and maybe I am.

> All I notice are the skinny women around here (my office, at the

> coffee shop this morning) scarfing down their whipped frappucino

> treats with extra whipping cream on top. I might as well enjoy

the

> same type of crap, keep my flabby ass and get over thinking I'll

> achieve what I want.

>

August 14, 2006

K,

Well, I've been doing BFL since Jan with maybe 2 weeks 'off'

(maintenance eating and more relaxed exercise). My progress seems to

go back and forth. I still fit in my clothes the same. If anything,

I get bulkier doing weights. In fact, I fit better in my clothes

before. I've been down to 116 lbs and now I'm up to where I started

again. My set point is around 120 lbs and my body doesnt like to

deviate from it. I still am not fitting into the clothes I want to,

but do fit into my 'everyday' clothes the same way.

I know my cardiovascular system is stronger, and I can lift more, do

more pushups etc. But when it comes to measurements, I'm pretty much

the same. I think I have less energy. I'm always tired. I've never

been overweight so I don't have that situation to compare to and

say " wow, what a big difference this makes! " . I've always been

active, so I don't feel any better for it. If anything, my knees

hurt and I have developed a sore elbow (trying to do real pullups).

Before when I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, I looked

about the same. It is very frustrating because any progress I have

made is like watching paint dry.

> , how long have you been doing BFL? And be honest---have

you

> really made NO progress? Your clothes fit the same? You don't

have

> more energy? You don't feel better?

>

> I can totally understand your rut. I've been in it several times,

> and I'm especially susceptible when I've not had any appreciable

> change in some weeks. It happens to me frequently and it's very

> annoying because I usually have a high level of dedication. I

think

> that can make it worse. You feel betrayed. " Here I am doing

> everything they say it takes. I eat clean, I never miss a

workout,

> I always take my supplements. And my friend who simply refuses to

> eat two meals a day and has peanut buster parfait for dinner loses

2

> lbs a week! " Yea, I know.

>

> But then I remind myself...I really HAVE made progress. And my

> friend who ate the peanut buster parfait gained back all her

weight

> and gets winded walking a flight of stairs. But I can do a two

hour

> MMA class and feel MORE energetic at the end of it than I did at

the

> beginning! And yes, I still have the dreaded back fat when my bra

> is too tight, but I can do 20 man pushups and my skinny mom can't

do

> one.

>

> And I want to warn you--you are prolonging the rut with all the

> sugar/white flour foods. You eat it, get an insulin high, then

you

> crash and feel more depressed and the easy fix is more insulin.

> Don't go that road! I am re-losing a bunch of weight I had

already

> lost and it's twice as hard this time. I got in the same rut you

> are in and gained over 30 lbs. I'm just now getting close to what

I

> used to be before the rut.

>

> Candid pictures are the worst! You aren't in good positions and

> good light. It can be very depressing. Video is also painful.

But

> this isn't just about looks. It's about the fact that you can go

> and ride a bike and not have a coronary.

>

> So in short, put down the ice cream before you hurt yourself. You

> don't want to wake up someday with a Krispy Kreme in your hands,

40

> lbs. heavier than you are now, and unable to tie your shoes

without

> assistance.

>

> K...

>

> >

> > Hi everyone, usually I'm very motivated and focused by I am

> > definitely in a rut right now. I know what the trigger is, it

> > happened this past Friday. I took the day off and went to the

> beach

> > and leisurely bikeriding with my husband (kids were in daycare).

> We

> > had a great day. He took some pix of our day out, sounds great

> right?

> >

> > When I looked at them I got really bummed out. I've been busting

> my

> > butt following clean eating, counting calories, working out

hard,

> > daily training, yadda yadda yadda. I hate the photos. All I see

is

> > my big butt, cellulite and even some of the dreaded back fat!

Damn.

> >

> > I feel like everything I do is a big waste of time. Why bother?

> That

> > was it. I ate pizza Friday night and had chocolate ice cream for

> > dessert. Saturday was no better. I pretty much said 'fuck it'

all

> > weekend (pardon my swearing, but that is the truth). I blew off

> all

> > of my workouts. No HIIT in the park Sunday. My husband wanted

to

> go

> > roller blading last night. I was not in the mood. Instead I was

> in

> > the mood for chocolate, ice cream, pretzels, brownies and

donuts.

> > And it tasted great! And I sat on my ass watching tv.

> >

> > This morning I woke up completely unmotivated. Screw the

workout

> > today, I said. Might as well enjoy food because it makes no

> > difference to my physique. I'm at the same body weight as when I

> > started this whole BFL/BFFM thing. And I enjoyed a white flour

> > cinnamon raisin bagel with cream cheese. Yum, lots of processed

> > food.

> >

> > So i have no interest in working out. No interest in eating

> healthy.

> > I'm planning out some 'off plan' unclean series of meals for the

> > day. I've pretty much given up.

> >

> > I know I sound like I'm feeling sorry for myself and maybe I

am.

> > All I notice are the skinny women around here (my office, at the

> > coffee shop this morning) scarfing down their whipped frappucino

> > treats with extra whipping cream on top. I might as well enjoy

> the

> > same type of crap, keep my flabby ass and get over thinking I'll

> > achieve what I want.

> >

>

August 14, 2006

Hi Naomi,

That goal thing has always been my mantra. I do focus on achieving

goals I can control rather than the ones I can't. The problem is I

thought everything else would fall into place and I'd see more

results. It is very depressing, it makes me want to cry.

I've never stopped using it, so I've never lost it. I'm 39 yrs old,

and been very active since my early 20s. Part of my healthy eating

and exercise habits is because my father died of cancer when I was

17 yrs old. So I'm sure I'll get over this. It just sucks to not

achieve what I've been trying to. I guess I'll be happier when

winter comes and I can cover myself up in sweaters.

>

> , I think it would really help you to focus on a goal

besides how

> you look. Right now you have the energy to spend a day at the

beach, go

> bike riding, and go rollerblading if you wanted to.

>

> But you know what? " Use it or lose it " is more than just a catchy

> phrase, it's true. I don't know how old you are right now, but

when I

> was 42 I was in such crappy shape that I never wanted to do

anything

> with my family. A day at the beach sounded like torture, because

it

> required too much effort just to carry stuff from the car down to

the

> beach. And forget bike riding or anything else!

>

> It wasn't until I changed my focus from " weight loss " to " getting

fit

> and healthy " that things finally clicked into place for me, and my

> weight loss of 40 pounds happened incidentally.

>

> Naomi, fit and happy at age 47

> ******

> >

> > Hi everyone, usually I'm very motivated and focused by I am

> > definitely in a rut right now. I know what the trigger is, it

> > happened this past Friday. I took the day off and went to the

beach

> > and leisurely bikeriding with my husband (kids were in daycare).

We

> > had a great day. He took some pix of our day out, sounds great

right?

> >

> > When I looked at them I got really bummed out. I've been busting

my

> > butt following clean eating, counting calories, working out hard,

> > daily training, yadda yadda yadda. I hate the photos. All I see

is

> > my big butt, cellulite and even some of the dreaded back fat!

Damn.

> >

> > I feel like everything I do is a big waste of time. Why bother?

That

> > was it. I ate pizza Friday night and had chocolate ice cream for

> > dessert. Saturday was no better. I pretty much said 'fuck it' all

> > weekend (pardon my swearing, but that is the truth). I blew off

all

> > of my workouts. No HIIT in the park Sunday. My husband wanted to

go

> > roller blading last night. I was not in the mood. Instead I was

in

> > the mood for chocolate, ice cream, pretzels, brownies and donuts.

> > And it tasted great! And I sat on my ass watching tv.

> >

> > This morning I woke up completely unmotivated. Screw the workout

> > today, I said. Might as well enjoy food because it makes no

> > difference to my physique. I'm at the same body weight as when I

> > started this whole BFL/BFFM thing. And I enjoyed a white flour

> > cinnamon raisin bagel with cream cheese. Yum, lots of processed

> > food.

> >

> > So i have no interest in working out. No interest in eating

healthy.

> > I'm planning out some 'off plan' unclean series of meals for the

> > day. I've pretty much given up.

> >

> > I know I sound like I'm feeling sorry for myself and maybe I am.

> > All I notice are the skinny women around here (my office, at the

> > coffee shop this morning) scarfing down their whipped frappucino

> > treats with extra whipping cream on top. I might as well enjoy

the

> > same type of crap, keep my flabby ass and get over thinking I'll

> > achieve what I want.

> >

>

August 14, 2006

Hi , to answer your questions. I didnt take 'formal' BFL

pictures, but I did measure like crazy. I lost some inches here or

there in the beginning, but I've been stuck forever. I havent been

able to reduce any more bf than where I am now. I've tried cutting

out foods, cutting calories, increasing calories, changing ratios,

increasing cardio intensity, increasing cardio time, lifting heavy,

full body circuits, blah blah blah.

I used to get motivated looking at bodychangers. Now I just get

depressed and angry that all this works for them and not for me.

I've tried to stop being so neurotic tracking every single morsel in

fitday, but I can do it in my head anyhow. I also measure my food.

Believe me, I've been following the plan. I'm sure I'm healthy, I

just hate wearing a bathing suit.

>>>>> > Did you take a before picture to compare to your results

now? DId

> you measure yourself? Take a body fat %? Even though you

haven't

> lost weight, your body is changing for the better. You may have

> lost inches and fat. Take body measurements to see results,

plenty

> of people doing BFL have gained weight or have not lost any weight

> but went down in size. The benifits of eating healthy and

> exercising are well worth not noticing results. Just a few

benefits

> are reducing the risk of heart problems, stroke, and other

diseases,

> lowering doctor bills, having a great outlook on life, and feeling

> better. Other than the last couple of days, did you feel better

> while doing BFL rather than when you started?

>

> To keep me motivated, I sometimes look at the website

> bodychangers.com or I enter my food in fitday.com to see what my

> protein, carb, and fat ratios are. I also meaure my food and

check

> out how many calories I am eating for the week because sometimes

my

> hand gets bigger and so do my food portions. I also check out my

> free day and make sure I am not eating a zillion calories.

>

> You probaby know everything I typed. I am very familiar with the

> mood you are in and at the time I need someone to kick me in the

> butt and tell me to get with it! THe only last thing I can say is

> get off your butt and JUST DO IT because I know that is what you

> want! Why are you waiting? You won't make progress by sitting on

> your butt! There is still time to do your workout today and eat

> healthy for the rest of the day and week. Who cares if your

workout

> isn't the first thing in the morning....Just do it and do it for

> YOURSELF!!!

>

> Do you really want a whipped Fra...?? They aren't that great

> anyway. (MINDSET) Who knows what weight problems your co-workers

> stuggle with themselves. I know a lot of people who are skinny

but

> are bulemic! (my niece, mother-in-law, sister-in-laws) Not saying

> that everyone is but a lot of people struggle. Be proud of

yourself

> by becoming healthy the right way....and when you reach some of

your

> goals, treat yourself to something you want. Make it fun, don't

> worry about others, if I waited for husband to be totally mentally

> healthy to do BFL, I might be dead by then because of not taking

> care of me.

>

> Promise me and yourself that you will do your HIIT today and make

> better eating choices! It is what you REALLY want!

>

> >

> > Hi everyone, usually I'm very motivated and focused by I am

> > definitely in a rut right now. I know what the trigger is, it

> > happened this past Friday. I took the day off and went to the

> beach

> > and leisurely bikeriding with my husband (kids were in daycare).

> We

> > had a great day. He took some pix of our day out, sounds great

> right?

> >

> > When I looked at them I got really bummed out. I've been busting

> my

> > butt following clean eating, counting calories, working out

hard,

> > daily training, yadda yadda yadda. I hate the photos. All I see

is

> > my big butt, cellulite and even some of the dreaded back fat!

Damn.

> >

> > I feel like everything I do is a big waste of time. Why bother?

> That

> > was it. I ate pizza Friday night and had chocolate ice cream for

> > dessert. Saturday was no better. I pretty much said 'fuck it'

all

> > weekend (pardon my swearing, but that is the truth). I blew off

> all

> > of my workouts. No HIIT in the park Sunday. My husband wanted

to

> go

> > roller blading last night. I was not in the mood. Instead I was

> in

> > the mood for chocolate, ice cream, pretzels, brownies and

donuts.

> > And it tasted great! And I sat on my ass watching tv.

> >

> > This morning I woke up completely unmotivated. Screw the

workout

> > today, I said. Might as well enjoy food because it makes no

> > difference to my physique. I'm at the same body weight as when I

> > started this whole BFL/BFFM thing. And I enjoyed a white flour

> > cinnamon raisin bagel with cream cheese. Yum, lots of processed

> > food.

> >

> > So i have no interest in working out. No interest in eating

> healthy.

> > I'm planning out some 'off plan' unclean series of meals for the

> > day. I've pretty much given up.

> >

> > I know I sound like I'm feeling sorry for myself and maybe I

am.

> > All I notice are the skinny women around here (my office, at the

> > coffee shop this morning) scarfing down their whipped frappucino

> > treats with extra whipping cream on top. I might as well enjoy

> the

> > same type of crap, keep my flabby ass and get over thinking I'll

> > achieve what I want.

> >

>

August 14, 2006

-

What have you been doing to work on your emotions and mental state of health?

The program is not just about food and exercise.

n

At 09:25 AM 8/14/2006, you wrote:

>Believe me, I've been following the plan. I'm sure I'm healthy, I

>just hate wearing a bathing suit.

>

August 14, 2006

Well, then maybe it's time to evaluate if BFL is right for you.

Perhaps for your needs it just doesn't work. I feel so tired and

sick when I eat crappy that I can't figure out why you are more

tired on BFL, unless you aren't eating enough for your activity

level. Perhaps you are overtrained. I have done that, and I do

feel tired (very tired) when I overtrain. Other signs of over

training are increased acne, cold sores (if you get them), eye tics,

depression and general fatigue. In this case you should decrease

activity a bit, increase calories a bit and drink a lot of fluids.

No progress since January means you are definately wasting your

time. It may be you need to tweak BFL, it may be you need to switch

programs, or it may be some sort of medical situation.

You need to start experimenting. But don't just give up on fitness

altogether. There are so many more benefits.

K...

> > >

> > > Hi everyone, usually I'm very motivated and focused by I am

> > > definitely in a rut right now. I know what the trigger is, it

> > > happened this past Friday. I took the day off and went to the

> > beach

> > > and leisurely bikeriding with my husband (kids were in

daycare).

> > We

> > > had a great day. He took some pix of our day out, sounds great

> > right?

> > >

> > > When I looked at them I got really bummed out. I've been

busting

> > my

> > > butt following clean eating, counting calories, working out

> hard,

> > > daily training, yadda yadda yadda. I hate the photos. All I

see

> is

> > > my big butt, cellulite and even some of the dreaded back fat!

> Damn.

> > >

> > > I feel like everything I do is a big waste of time. Why

bother?

> > That

> > > was it. I ate pizza Friday night and had chocolate ice cream

for

> > > dessert. Saturday was no better. I pretty much said 'fuck it'

> all

> > > weekend (pardon my swearing, but that is the truth). I blew

off

> > all

> > > of my workouts. No HIIT in the park Sunday. My husband wanted

> to

> > go

> > > roller blading last night. I was not in the mood. Instead I

was

> > in

> > > the mood for chocolate, ice cream, pretzels, brownies and

> donuts.

> > > And it tasted great! And I sat on my ass watching tv.

> > >

> > > This morning I woke up completely unmotivated. Screw the

> workout

> > > today, I said. Might as well enjoy food because it makes no

> > > difference to my physique. I'm at the same body weight as when

I

> > > started this whole BFL/BFFM thing. And I enjoyed a white

flour

> > > cinnamon raisin bagel with cream cheese. Yum, lots of

processed

> > > food.

> > >

> > > So i have no interest in working out. No interest in eating

> > healthy.

> > > I'm planning out some 'off plan' unclean series of meals for

the

> > > day. I've pretty much given up.

> > >

> > > I know I sound like I'm feeling sorry for myself and maybe I

> am.

> > > All I notice are the skinny women around here (my office, at

the

> > > coffee shop this morning) scarfing down their whipped

frappucino

> > > treats with extra whipping cream on top. I might as well

enjoy

> > the

> > > same type of crap, keep my flabby ass and get over thinking

I'll

> > > achieve what I want.

> > >

> >

>

August 14, 2006

Maybe it's a perception problem, thinking all those fitness models and

bodychangers people walk around looking stunning all the time. I'm

fairly certain I could take hideous bikini photos right now, or jaw

dropping ones. It all depends on the tan and the lights. If you're

comparing candid outdoor overhead sunlight cellulite bonanza snapshots

with people's perfectly posed, lit, tanned, dieted and dehydrated

studio shots, THE shot that was the single best picture out of

hundreds they took that day, no wonder you're coming unhinged. Nobody

walks around looking like that every day, not even the pros.

Also, speaking of perceptions, I wonder if you're expecting fitness

model results from a general healthy eating plan. If you want to be

shredded with very low body fat, a six pack, and nothing jiggling,

you're going to have to go to some serious extremes to get there. It's

not necessarily healthy or fun. Did you read Berardi's Get Shredded

Diet, or that article about the fitness competitor doing 3 hours of

cardio on 900 calories a day? That's the kind of psycho restrictive

stuff you're looking at. You can either change your approach or change

your perception. I found it a hell of a lot wiser to change my

perception. I've accepted my muscles and curves. I'll never be built

like a stick insect. I'll never see striations in my glutes. Fine with

me. It's more important to me to be emotionally healthy and strong

than to look like I'm ready to step onstage at Fitness Olympia.

My body fat is right around 17-18%, lean but not shredded, my happy

zone. I guarantee that in noon sun there'd be cellulite and soft spots

on me somewhere. Luckily, it hasn't occurred to me to hate myself over

it. It pains me to see you being so hard on yourself. Last time you

posted numbers you were a tiny thing, like 115 pounds and 15% body

fat, leaner than me and nearly 30 pounds lighter. So, if you're a

dimpled shapeless hopeless blob with back fat and an enormous ass, uh,

what does that make the rest of us? LOL ;-)

I don't think that you're failing or that all your efforts are wasted,

I just think your mind is giving you hell right now. Your self-talk is

pretty brutal. I don't remember if you have a daughter, but I'm pretty

sure you'd never speak to her that way or judge her that harshly.

Don't waste years of your life totally fixated on your appearance. I

shudder to think how much time and energy I wasted during my eating

disorder. There were literally years that I wallowed around in guilt

and pity and obsession instead of living and enjoying myself. Now that

I've come to my senses, I know for a fact that you can be happy,

healthy, and enviably lean without beating yourself up or entering a

damn thing into fitday.

I know you're having a total breakdown right now. We tend to have

breakdowns when we're overworked, overtrained, restricted, exhausted,

burned out, and in dire need of some rest and relaxation. Give

yourself a break, and when your mind settles down a little, take a

look at what led up to the big freak out. Decide where you want to go

from here. If you're still totally fixated on maximum leanness, enter

a contest or schedule a professional photo shoot, hire a trainer,

buckle down and go for it. If what you really want is happiness and

confidence, not a figure trophy, then work on the inner stuff and find

an approach that gives you joy and confidence.

> Hi , to answer your questions. I didnt take 'formal' BFL

> pictures, but I did measure like crazy. I lost some inches here or

> there in the beginning, but I've been stuck forever. I havent been

> able to reduce any more bf than where I am now. I've tried cutting

> out foods, cutting calories, increasing calories, changing ratios,

> increasing cardio intensity, increasing cardio time, lifting heavy,

> full body circuits, blah blah blah.

>

> I used to get motivated looking at bodychangers. Now I just get

> depressed and angry that all this works for them and not for me.

> I've tried to stop being so neurotic tracking every single morsel in

> fitday, but I can do it in my head anyhow. I also measure my food.

> Believe me, I've been following the plan. I'm sure I'm healthy, I

> just hate wearing a bathing suit.

>

August 14, 2006

,

The website www.elitefitness.com/forum/ has a Women's Bodybuilding

area. (It is my second home . . ) Ignore the steriod stuff, but go

there and ask the ladies your questions. They are the

professionals, figure and bodybuilding competitors and they can help

you - I promise! BFL/BFFM is a great base program - but it is just

that sometimes, a BASE program.

>

> Hi , to answer your questions. I didnt take 'formal' BFL

> pictures, but I did measure like crazy. I lost some inches here or

> there in the beginning, but I've been stuck forever. I havent been

> able to reduce any more bf than where I am now. I've tried cutting

> out foods, cutting calories, increasing calories, changing ratios,

> increasing cardio intensity, increasing cardio time, lifting

heavy,

> full body circuits, blah blah blah.

>

> I used to get motivated looking at bodychangers. Now I just get

> depressed and angry that all this works for them and not for me.

> I've tried to stop being so neurotic tracking every single morsel

in

> fitday, but I can do it in my head anyhow. I also measure my food.

> Believe me, I've been following the plan. I'm sure I'm healthy, I

> just hate wearing a bathing suit.

>

August 14, 2006

People are giving you great advice on here...Setting goals, talking

to professionals, taking bad and good picture, etc...

Just don't give up!

>

> Hi , to answer your questions. I didnt take 'formal' BFL

> pictures, but I did measure like crazy. I lost some inches here or

> there in the beginning, but I've been stuck forever. I havent been

> able to reduce any more bf than where I am now. I've tried cutting

> out foods, cutting calories, increasing calories, changing ratios,

> increasing cardio intensity, increasing cardio time, lifting

heavy,

> full body circuits, blah blah blah.

>

> I used to get motivated looking at bodychangers. Now I just get

> depressed and angry that all this works for them and not for me.

> I've tried to stop being so neurotic tracking every single morsel

in

> fitday, but I can do it in my head anyhow. I also measure my food.

> Believe me, I've been following the plan. I'm sure I'm healthy, I

> just hate wearing a bathing suit.

>

> >>>>> > Did you take a before picture to compare to your results

> now? DId

> > you measure yourself? Take a body fat %? Even though you

> haven't

> > lost weight, your body is changing for the better. You may have

> > lost inches and fat. Take body measurements to see results,

> plenty

> > of people doing BFL have gained weight or have not lost any

weight

> > but went down in size. The benifits of eating healthy and

> > exercising are well worth not noticing results. Just a few

> benefits

> > are reducing the risk of heart problems, stroke, and other

> diseases,

> > lowering doctor bills, having a great outlook on life, and

feeling

> > better. Other than the last couple of days, did you feel better

> > while doing BFL rather than when you started?

> >

> > To keep me motivated, I sometimes look at the website

> > bodychangers.com or I enter my food in fitday.com to see what my

> > protein, carb, and fat ratios are. I also meaure my food and

> check

> > out how many calories I am eating for the week because sometimes

> my

> > hand gets bigger and so do my food portions. I also check out

my

> > free day and make sure I am not eating a zillion calories.

> >

> > You probaby know everything I typed. I am very familiar with

the

> > mood you are in and at the time I need someone to kick me in the

> > butt and tell me to get with it! THe only last thing I can say

is

> > get off your butt and JUST DO IT because I know that is what you

> > want! Why are you waiting? You won't make progress by sitting

on

> > your butt! There is still time to do your workout today and eat

> > healthy for the rest of the day and week. Who cares if your

> workout

> > isn't the first thing in the morning....Just do it and do it for

> > YOURSELF!!!

> >

> > Do you really want a whipped Fra...?? They aren't that great

> > anyway. (MINDSET) Who knows what weight problems your co-

workers

> > stuggle with themselves. I know a lot of people who are skinny

> but

> > are bulemic! (my niece, mother-in-law, sister-in-laws) Not

saying

> > that everyone is but a lot of people struggle. Be proud of

> yourself

> > by becoming healthy the right way....and when you reach some of

> your

> > goals, treat yourself to something you want. Make it fun, don't

> > worry about others, if I waited for husband to be totally

mentally

> > healthy to do BFL, I might be dead by then because of not taking

> > care of me.

> >

> > Promise me and yourself that you will do your HIIT today and

make

> > better eating choices! It is what you REALLY want!

> >

> > >

> > > Hi everyone, usually I'm very motivated and focused by I am

> > > definitely in a rut right now. I know what the trigger is, it

> > > happened this past Friday. I took the day off and went to the

> > beach

> > > and leisurely bikeriding with my husband (kids were in

daycare).

> > We

> > > had a great day. He took some pix of our day out, sounds great

> > right?

> > >

> > > When I looked at them I got really bummed out. I've been

busting

> > my

> > > butt following clean eating, counting calories, working out

> hard,

> > > daily training, yadda yadda yadda. I hate the photos. All I

see

> is

> > > my big butt, cellulite and even some of the dreaded back fat!

> Damn.

> > >

> > > I feel like everything I do is a big waste of time. Why

bother?

> > That

> > > was it. I ate pizza Friday night and had chocolate ice cream

for

> > > dessert. Saturday was no better. I pretty much said 'fuck it'

> all

> > > weekend (pardon my swearing, but that is the truth). I blew

off

> > all

> > > of my workouts. No HIIT in the park Sunday. My husband wanted

> to

> > go

> > > roller blading last night. I was not in the mood. Instead I

was

> > in

> > > the mood for chocolate, ice cream, pretzels, brownies and

> donuts.

> > > And it tasted great! And I sat on my ass watching tv.

> > >

> > > This morning I woke up completely unmotivated. Screw the

> workout

> > > today, I said. Might as well enjoy food because it makes no

> > > difference to my physique. I'm at the same body weight as when

I

> > > started this whole BFL/BFFM thing. And I enjoyed a white

flour

> > > cinnamon raisin bagel with cream cheese. Yum, lots of

processed

> > > food.

> > >

> > > So i have no interest in working out. No interest in eating

> > healthy.

> > > I'm planning out some 'off plan' unclean series of meals for

the

> > > day. I've pretty much given up.

> > >

> > > I know I sound like I'm feeling sorry for myself and maybe I

> am.

> > > All I notice are the skinny women around here (my office, at

the

> > > coffee shop this morning) scarfing down their whipped

frappucino

> > > treats with extra whipping cream on top. I might as well

enjoy

> > the

> > > same type of crap, keep my flabby ass and get over thinking

I'll

> > > achieve what I want.

> > >

> >

>

August 14, 2006

Hi n,

I'm either at work, working out, or taking care of my kids. There

isnt a lot of time leftover to reflect on 'me'. I'd rather get more

sleep than do that !

I do read affirmations ever day to stay positive. And I have a list

of goals that are stated in a positive way, that are things I can

control.

> -

> What have you been doing to work on your emotions and mental state

of health?

> The program is not just about food and exercise.

> n

>

> At 09:25 AM 8/14/2006, you wrote:

> >Believe me, I've been following the plan. I'm sure I'm healthy, I

> >just hate wearing a bathing suit.

> >

>

August 14, 2006

thanks . I'll have a look.

>

> ,

>

> The website www.elitefitness.com/forum/ has a Women's Bodybuilding

> area. (It is my second home . . ) Ignore the steriod stuff, but go

> there and ask the ladies your questions. They are the

> professionals, figure and bodybuilding competitors and they can help

> you - I promise! BFL/BFFM is a great base program - but it is just

> that sometimes, a BASE program.

>

August 14, 2006

Thanks , your comments always get me to laugh. I think I am

being unrealistic, but I guess i just expected more because of how

hard I work at this. It is annoying when other people around me make

a half-assed effort and end up with amazing results. I have a hard

time not comparing myself to others, and/or comparing myself to the

me before I had 2 children.

I did read the Get Shredded Diet, and the psycho fitness model

story. I don't think I'm that far gone with my mental state that I

will do either of those because the results would be so short lived.

I'm looking for longer term results.

I would love to be as muscular/lean as you are. The big difference

is I'm about 6 " shorter than you, so you can't compare my numbers to

yours.

I'm not sure what has really led to my breakdown other than seeing

myself in pictures. I guess my mind sees something different from

the reflection in the mirror. Maybe my bathroom lighting is better

than the noonday sun.

I feel at a loss right now about what to do next. I had a big

meltdown, and I'm going around feeling weepy which is completely out

of character for me.

I ended up buying Berardi's PN today. I'm hoping I get motivated

again when I get my hands on it. Maybe a focus on healthy eating and

fueling my body for performance will reset my brain.

> Maybe it's a perception problem, thinking all those fitness models

and

> bodychangers people walk around looking stunning all the time. I'm

> fairly certain I could take hideous bikini photos right now, or jaw

> dropping ones. It all depends on the tan and the lights. If you're

> comparing candid outdoor overhead sunlight cellulite bonanza

snapshots

> with people's perfectly posed, lit, tanned, dieted and dehydrated

> studio shots, THE shot that was the single best picture out of

> hundreds they took that day, no wonder you're coming unhinged.

Nobody

> walks around looking like that every day, not even the pros.

>

> Also, speaking of perceptions, I wonder if you're expecting fitness

> model results from a general healthy eating plan. If you want to be

> shredded with very low body fat, a six pack, and nothing jiggling,

> you're going to have to go to some serious extremes to get there.

It's

> not necessarily healthy or fun. Did you read Berardi's Get Shredded

> Diet, or that article about the fitness competitor doing 3 hours of

> cardio on 900 calories a day? That's the kind of psycho restrictive

> stuff you're looking at. You can either change your approach or

change

> your perception. I found it a hell of a lot wiser to change my

> perception. I've accepted my muscles and curves. I'll never be

built

> like a stick insect. I'll never see striations in my glutes. Fine

with

> me. It's more important to me to be emotionally healthy and strong

> than to look like I'm ready to step onstage at Fitness Olympia.

>

> My body fat is right around 17-18%, lean but not shredded, my happy

> zone. I guarantee that in noon sun there'd be cellulite and soft

spots

> on me somewhere. Luckily, it hasn't occurred to me to hate myself

over

> it. It pains me to see you being so hard on yourself. Last time you

> posted numbers you were a tiny thing, like 115 pounds and 15% body

> fat, leaner than me and nearly 30 pounds lighter. So, if you're a

> dimpled shapeless hopeless blob with back fat and an enormous ass,

uh,

> what does that make the rest of us? LOL ;-)

>

> I don't think that you're failing or that all your efforts are

wasted,

> I just think your mind is giving you hell right now. Your self-

talk is

> pretty brutal. I don't remember if you have a daughter, but I'm

pretty

> sure you'd never speak to her that way or judge her that harshly.

> Don't waste years of your life totally fixated on your appearance.

I

> shudder to think how much time and energy I wasted during my eating

> disorder. There were literally years that I wallowed around in

guilt

> and pity and obsession instead of living and enjoying myself. Now

that

> I've come to my senses, I know for a fact that you can be happy,

> healthy, and enviably lean without beating yourself up or entering

a

> damn thing into fitday.

>

> I know you're having a total breakdown right now. We tend to have

> breakdowns when we're overworked, overtrained, restricted,

exhausted,

> burned out, and in dire need of some rest and relaxation. Give

> yourself a break, and when your mind settles down a little, take a

> look at what led up to the big freak out. Decide where you want to

go

> from here. If you're still totally fixated on maximum leanness,

enter

> a contest or schedule a professional photo shoot, hire a trainer,

> buckle down and go for it. If what you really want is happiness and

> confidence, not a figure trophy, then work on the inner stuff and

find

> an approach that gives you joy and confidence.

>

> > Hi , to answer your questions. I didnt take 'formal' BFL

> > pictures, but I did measure like crazy. I lost some inches here

or

> > there in the beginning, but I've been stuck forever. I havent

been

> > able to reduce any more bf than where I am now. I've tried

cutting

> > out foods, cutting calories, increasing calories, changing

ratios,

> > increasing cardio intensity, increasing cardio time, lifting

heavy,

> > full body circuits, blah blah blah.

> >

> > I used to get motivated looking at bodychangers. Now I just get

> > depressed and angry that all this works for them and not for me.

> > I've tried to stop being so neurotic tracking every single

morsel in

> > fitday, but I can do it in my head anyhow. I also measure my

food.

> > Believe me, I've been following the plan. I'm sure I'm healthy, I

> > just hate wearing a bathing suit.

> >

>

August 14, 2006

Sounds to me like you're overtrained and underfed. How many calories are you

eating a day? How tall are you? 116-120 is very thin. I'm around 114 right now

and trying to gain! When I was trying to eat 1500 calories a day, I would

inevitably give in to a binge.

Skwigg wrote: Maybe it's a perception problem,

thinking all those fitness models and