after complaining that i hurt my leg...

[Guest guest]

i got a GOOD pep talk here and finally sucked it up and went back to

the gym last night after work.

beware - this post is like a LONG journal entry...but here is the deal

- the is truly no excuse and not a single reason to quit this, i had

like a ray of light moment last night so i'm passing it on in case

someone else gets hurt and tries to crybaby their way out.

so i get there and sit in my car for a minute worried i am going to

make a fool of myself before i finally go inside. i workout at a

crossfit facility where they are amazingly supportive as long as you

are working hard. this increases a million fold if you are female and

stagger in with a large boot cast.

here is the rundown:

basically you can use any seated machine including a recumbent bike if

you just warm it up slowly. all arms weights and the leg press. you

can even do one legged heel raises. squatting not so much, but small

lunges are doable - it screws with the integrity of it, but better

than nothing. tried pull ups but was kind of scared i would drop too

fast (yes, i am that weak in my upper body) and make a complete idiot

of myself unable to get up again or hurting my other leg, i'll save

those for later.

i discovered the rowing machine sits empty most of the time for a

reason - it is freaking difficult to use! after a few times of

actually pulling the coordination together, i realized it is obviously

showing me an entire group of muscles that have been getting very

little use. continued rowing until i felt impendng tears focusing

only on Gap skinny jeans.

this morning, i can barely raise my arms above my head to put on a tee

shirt. my poor husband gets to hear all the moaning as i attempted to

take a shower and get dressed - it was very dramatic for his benefit

(you know so he would know how lucky he was to have a wife trying to

get strong again.)

you can do any ab work - abs recover fast so you can do 2 rounds if

you have been slacking using your tendon as an excuse. you can also

sit on the last bench considering if you are able to lift your water

bottle to get a drink because your hands are shaking. i tried to cover

that feeling up by discussing the merits of mystic tan.

as i got in the car, i noticed that awesome hardness in your arms

after your workout. don't you love that feeling knowing the icky fat

part is slowly vanishing?

ALSO watched that oxygen show about the girl fighters. my favorite was

the " writer " who just like went in like a powerhouse even though she

was filled with self doubt. like she found her mind zone - does that

make sense? i was so proud of her i got a little teary eyed.

was also secretly happy to see the girl with the " sturdy " torso

won...because that is sort of similar to my body type and i have

always wanted to be lithe and lean and taller. loved that she had a

kid ~ so much in that show that i will save for another long post.

suffice it to say i am surrounded by alot of women that " settle " for

having bodies that are not strong and say, " well, i've had 3 kids

so... " i hate that.

i loved that NO ONE quit even when they were covered with bruises.

loved that they still got their nails done. who says strong isn't

pretty & sexy? i think my husband liked that part too ~ and the high

heels.

so anyway, thanks for the encouragement - at week 6 my body fat is

down 6% - i cannot freaking believe that. my weight finally moved

from the red " overweight " part of the graph to the high " normal " -

thank god. NOW i wish i took before pictures, what a mistake.

you have no idea how huge this all is - in january i considered having

a freaking band put on my stomach by a cheap doctor in mexico. it's

like i forgot who i really was under all the fat or something. it is

so cool so find myself inside again. getting a little sappy, right?

i'm glad i didn't quit, and even though i hurts alot right now. i'm

glad this group is here. i had no idea where to begin, but printed

like a ream of stuff from the files section so thanks for whoever

posts all that stuff.

i am so far from ever being any kind of advice expert, but i do feel

like i can INSIST that no one give this up no matter what the reason.

the rewards are more inside your head than i initially realized. way more.

amy