sports -Re: need advice suggestions

[Guest guest]

(snip)

" He is good at all sorts of things but avoids them when ever there is

a prospect of losing. "

Dave,

sounds just like your son. We had him in baseball in the

spring and summer and football in the fall/winter. All that is gone

thanks to OCD. The pressure was too much for , so after much

deliberation, I let him quit football before the last game of the

season was played. I just couldn't take it anymore - I was having

to " force " him to go to practices, games, etc.... I'm not a

controlling parent, so I let football (and MY dreams for him) go. I

think *I* was more upset than because I wanted him in sports

VERY badly, due to the social and health benefits. His older

brothers did very well in many sports, but.... they didn't have

the " stuff " has to deal with in his head. This is another area

where feels like the " oddball " in the family - making him feel

worse about himself. That's another reason why we are concentrating

on 's STRENGTHS instead of his weaknesses, and try to build on

those. He needs his own " niche " in the family, and not one defined

by OCD.

Sports ended for many of the same reasons you wrote about:

-Pressure (external AND internal) from coaches and competition

combined with pressure from OCD = unhappy camper.

-Physical Contact (players breathing on him, or touching him)

-Fears Building (what if we lose, what if it rains, what if i get

tackled and the guy has the flu, what if I throw up, what if, what

if, what if.............ugh)

It became WAY too much, so I pulled him OUT. Plus, school is #1

priority (IMO) over sports, and we were having major trouble with

school work during this time too. Something had to go to take the

pressure OFF .

The picture has changed drastically in recent months - and is

much better. This past summer, football registration was beginning.

I asked if he wanted to try again (he's a big boy- the coaches

love his size!) He said " NO!! " I reminded him of what he'd be

missing, and then, I let it drop. Now that all of his friends are

playing football right now, he regrets his decision. Oh well - he

made his choice. He said that he might think about it again for next

year.

Music seems to be where my child will excel - he loves anything to do

with music. Noone will breathe on him, touch him, and there's not

that much pressure. Playing the drums, like his dad used to, is a

solitary high. Soooo...sports from here on out will be for PLEASURE

(much like reading). When feels alot of outside pressure, he

can't function, meltsdown, is very unhappy. He will still be offered

sports each time a registration comes up (to give him the option),

but, now, after all we've been through, I'd prefer a HAPPY child over

an athletic one.

Joni