Yoga - continued

[Guest guest]

Dear Gretchen, Tom, Mike, , , Spy and everyone :

Thanks so much for all of the feedback. A bit of context will help.

My friends and I hired a yoga teacher (two initially) to come to my friend's

business warehouse and teach us yoga. It is not a studio class at a gym,

but a regular class where I usually try to attend at least once a week, if

not three times a week. It is about $15 a class per person, but for private

instruction is a real bargain.

The teacher is REALLY into yoga - all aspects, including the spiritual side,

and cleansing. We have even had lessons in how she winds up swallowing

cloth to teach her control and to cleanse her digestive track from the

inside out. Weird I know. One of us five is really into that too - she is

looking to regain control of her life and she and the teacher have bonded.

Three of us five (I am in this bracket) come to class, enjoy it, but also

have fanatic work schedules and therefore must treat it as a class in the

gym, maybe a bit more but not to the extent of entering into all the control

meditation 5 a.m. wake up to practice yoga that our teacher tells us about.

The last one of us is the peacemaker of the group, so I think she is in

between the die hard and the class going bunch.

None of us wear watches, so all of us use our mobile phones to check the

time. That is common, it even happens in the gyms over here. Trust me, no

one would talk on the phone (well the fence sitter did once but she stepped

outside to do so) as that is breaking concentration for everyone.

I think that my emotions are with Tom - just fire her - but at the same time

like Mike I think my friends should just continue to do the class with the

teacher if they want to - I don't want to hold back the group so to speak.

I heard at the end of class yesterday morning the teacher told everyone that

she thought that everyone needed to think about what they wanted, because if

it were a gym type class she was not the teacher for them. I think she said

that on the back of my comments (and of course because there are 3 of 5 of

us who are more like the gym class type), and now she says she only teaches

people who share her spiritual commitment to things.

In light of that, I do think I was being made a scapegoat for her quest for

control and perfection, and to only associate with like minded individuals.

I told the peacemaker friend of mine that, and said frankly in my own head I

had closed the chapter, and time to move on and return to the gym (which I

also have been paying for and not attending often due to attendance at yoga)

and get back into my weight PT and also aqua (which I did religiously up

until about 3 years ago). And find a good private teacher who can combine

stretching and core muscle strengthening in a way that does not stress me

out.

My peacekeeper friend, and my husband, think that I am too easily walking

away and that I should talk to everyone and (my peacekeeper friend at least

thinks) that I should also talk to the yoga teacher as she believes that

there was misinterpretation of intention. My husband thinks we should all

collectively fire the teacher and that if my friends don't then they are not

real friends. God I love my husband's defense of me!

In my opinion though, what matters is a) how a person is made to feel and

the conclusion that the teacher stated, which is that she does not want me

in the class any more.

So the latest is that when my die-hard friend returns (she is the

galvanising force and organised the class for us all) the plan is to sit and

talk as the 5 friends and figure out what we want to do.

Personally, this drives me insane, as I have a busy job and stress in my

job, so I do not like to have any stress in my personal life. It is

dragging on, I feel as if I am being made a scapegoat for someone's problems

in general, and I hate beating dead horses, so to speak. But I respect my

friends, so I will definitely meet with them and tell them what I think and

what I feel.

I just think though, in general, that the worst part about this is that the

teacher had no idea how mean she was being to me, as for a year and a half I

was enjoying the class (no matter how hard and boy do we swear and laugh

when it gets hard - swearing is also against the rules) and then she just

took that away from me in one conversation.

Mike is right, it is a lonely feeling. I have not felt so isolated since I

was in high school, and even then when I found the PE class that worked for

me I was as much a part of the team as anyone else. It just is a hard walk

down discarded memory lane I guess, but one that I guess we all face now and

again, and that each time we deal with another insensitive person we make

ourselves stronger.

Wish me luck and patience and a cool head to deal with that conversation. I

will keep you all " posted " on the end result.

- Donna from London