dealing with school worries (long)

[Guest guest]

I almost walked away from all this, but after receiving the second digest

post where the main theme throughout the notes from many of you are about

" how hard it is dealing with the school " , I felt I had to respond. I don't

preach and I certainly don't shout from any roof tops about homeschooling.

But honestly, I just don't get it. Why do so many of you expend the energy

that you do to combat the school's set up? So many of you bemoan and are

nervous about what to expect this coming year due to past negative

experiences. You work so hard trying to find the best program. No doubt you

love your children and they are worth every bit of energy we can give. So

many people - teachers of the year and others have spent years trying to fix

the system now are strong advocates of homeschooling.

Problems with searching for the right school, problems with principals,

teachers, or aides who are not right for your child, problems with bullies,

problems with testing, etc - is it really worth all the energy? No need to

answer me but I hope you give it some thought for yourselves. Homeschooling

is not hard at all. You would not have to deal with " difficult situations "

that occur because of the school setting. Consider using that energy to have

a home life where you and your child live together in a much less stressful

environment and grow closer as a result. I am sure that your child's

troubling behaviors escalate as a result of school's pressures. I bet they

would decrease if the child was in a home environment that was loving and

relaxed.

Many families are content with what school provides and their children seem

to do ok but for those of you who are struggling, I ask you to ask yourself

whether it is worth the price. People some times make up excuses why they

can't homeschool but really in my opinion if you are fighting the system,

you are better off creating your own system where there will be things under

your control.

I have four sons ages 6 to 14. One son is borderline (not diagnosed by a

professional) ADD and another has mild OCD (diagnosed) who is undergoing

therapy (no meds). I thank my lucky stars that our family has homeschooled

from day one. All of my children have a relatively high level of self-esteem

partially because they have not been subjected to peer pressures, bullying,

or any of that stuff that occurs so often in schools. They all love to learn

and are eager to explore the world around them. My teenaged son shows none

of this rebellion stuff and is kind and loving because it is the only model

he has seen. My OCD son has some OCD issues that have affected him. I am

glad he is home so that his issues are not compounded by the school system.

School is not a good preparation for real life. That is a myth that has been

perpetuated by the system. My four sons have been living in the " real " world

since they were born and they know how to deal with the real world.

I apologize in advance to everyone especially if I made anyone feel

defensive about their choices. That is not my intent. I just don't get it

when people are sooooo unhappy about school and they complain but then turn

around and tell me homeschooling is not a good idea!! People have been

trying to " fix " schools for many years now without success. Meanwhile so

many of the kids in the schools are suffering. Bullying and hurtful teasing

is not normal. It is harmful and it hurts people for the rest of their

lives. It should not be acceptable in any form yet our society says it is

ok. Once I graduated from high school and entered the real world, I never

experienced bullying or outright meanness. I experienced competition and

politics in the workplace and such but nothing of the kind of stuff I went

through while attending school. I grew up in NYC and school was a very

unsafe place to be. I feared for my life daily especially during my junior

high years. That was not healthy.

I watch my kids play and learn about life. I envy them. They are so free of

the fears that I grew up with. Don't let me give you the wrong impression

that our lives are an utopia. Of course not, we do have sibling rivalry and

many days when I feel like wringing my children's necks. grin. Still it is a

world of a difference between my family and those that go to school. This is

true of many homeschoolers - all kinds: secular and religious, unschoolers,

school at home.

I will now get off my soapbox (and hopefully stay off, grin).

I wish all of you the best of luck in getting your children's needs met.

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