Yoga - a sad story

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone,

I don't think I have ever posted a sad message here before, but I just felt a

bit lost with whom to share this with. I told my husband, but I don't think he

quite knows how much this incident really hurt me, although without his support

last night I think I would not have been able to sleep!

As you all know I am pretty interested in keeping the links between fitness,

nutrition, and spiritual well being. In 2004 when I decided to do a marathon I

also started to see doctors to get shoe inserts, as my foot was hurting. One

thing led to another, and I decided that if I were to have a neuropathy I needed

to look at getting all aspects of my life together and fit (I was not confirmed

with an EMG until April 2005, CMT 1A).

As of September 2004 I began attending yoga with 4 friends. We hired a private

teacher, they had already been going for about 8 months so I joined later, and I

have really enjoyed it. I have gone to class whenever I can, and for me the

breathing as well as the stretching have been a god send.

Yesterday my yoga teacher called me up directly and said that she thought we

needed to talk. As I was on a train back from business meetings, I explained it

was difficult to talk, but she insisted so I agreed. Of course, then the whole

train hears the conversation, but so be it.

She explained that she felt as if she could not communicate with me. She told

me I break the rules in class - like looking at my mobile phone. She said that

my condition left her feeling as if she could not teach me and get me to make

progress in what yoga really is about. She said that I was holding the whole

class back. She then said she thought that one on one yoga would be better for

me and asked me not to come back to class. She said she could not teach people

who were always tired.

I was in shock. Sure I am not pleasant when I am being pushed to my limits -

but everyone in the class cracks jokes and groans when it gets tough. And I of

course occasionally do the forbidden, like checking my phone to make sure that I

am on time (I have a busy job and do not wear a watch). But to tell someone

they cannot be with their friends doing yoga because " she felt uncomfortable

teaching someone with a condition like mine. " I was shocked - shouldn't the

choice about what I do be mine, and ultimately be between me

and my friends - if they feel I am holding them back, shouldn't they say?

I was so sad - I could not figure out what irritated me more. Being told I was

difficult using my mobile phone in class (a la 6 year old being told off by

teacher for breaking rules and misbehaving). Being told I could not keep up

with my friends so the teacher was not allowing me back in class (it is one

thing if your friends tell you that you hold them back - but the teacher who we

all pay?). Or just that everything she seemed to say was looking for a reason

not to teach someone with CMT? Why after one and a half years did she decide to

change?

Anyway enough venting. My friends are pretty mad and have threatened to leave

the teacher. In my opinion there must be a happier outcome. I met a pilates

teacher who does private classes, so I may call her up. I also have been paying

for a gym membership and not using it, since I was also paying for yoga. So

time to start going to aqua at the gym again. My husband also asked me to start

going to the gym with him again, so this means we will have more together time.

So every cloud can have a silver lining. But I feel so aggrieved. And I think

she had no idea that when she said this she

would be offending me (and my friends who believe I should just do what I can).

Does anyone think I should let her know my thoughts? My own reaction is just to

not go to class anymore and just to let my friends continue - there is always

something else for me. But it just feels so exclusionary. But at the same time

I think if I told her how offensive she was it would first bring me down to her

level, and second just keeps the whole thing open rather than just closing this

unpleasant episode and moving on.

Thanks for letting me share. It is the first time I am posting a situation, you

all always seem to have good advice, so I trust that you will give me an

objective, yet knowledgeable, opinion.

All the best from London, where the cold Siberian wind is making it really cold

and grey!

Donna