Yoga - a sad story

[Guest guest]

Donna,

It's difficult to say when we don't know all the details, history, etc.,

but...this was a private class for you and your 4 friends? Not a public class

at a gym or something, right?

It seems extremely unusual to me for a private instructor to kick you out unless

you are being very disruptive to the overall class environment (which looking at

a cell phone is not -- answering a cell

phone...that's another story )

It just sounds very odd to me. Also, why did she feel she had to take the

coward's way and call you instead of talking with you face to face?

If you can do so and maintain a level-head (I'm not sure that I could in the

circumstances), I think you should talk with your ex-instructor face-to-face.

Don't go in with a negative attitude -- difficult I know -- but step outside

yourself and go in explaining

that you really want to understand your teacher's concern, how can you do better

with someone else, any suggestions on other exercise activities, yadda... And

watch their body language

Okay, I'm suggesting manipulation here Make yourself 'the heavy' and see if

the instructor will open up as to the true issues here. Because I can't really

see that the problem is what the instructor

told you. Maybe someone else in the class complained? Maybe the instructor is

truly concerned for your health? Maybe the instructor has someone else that

they want to put into the class and needs the room?

See if you can get to the heart of the issue and get some closure on this. I

think you'll feel better.

[Guest guest]

Donna,

You ran into a narcissistic personality--she revealed her discomfort, thus

making the encounter about her, not you. I would definitely complain to the

management--the woman should be fired. Not only does she know nothing about

people with difficulties (We all have limitations.), she knows nothing about

Yoga. Some of the psychological underpinnings of Yoga have to do with

acceptance and flow, not control, perfection, and success. This teacher sees

your level of functioning as a reflection her ability (success) and as " holding

the others back " (competition). I repeat, this woman knows nothing about people

or Yoga. Fire her immediately.

Tom

[Guest guest]

Tom, Amen. You said it perfectly! ~ Gretchen

[Guest guest]

Donna,

I absolutely understand why you feel the way you do.

My family and I went camping with some friends this summer.

Everyone wanted to go hiking, including me. I realized that I could

only do what I could do and went on a few short hikes and sat by

myself and felt lonely when they went on the longer hikes.

My biggest frustration with this stupid disease is that I can't

quite (almost but not quite) be normal.

I have read the posts were people say that CMT doesn't affect their

self-esteem or quality of life, and I don't get it. Every day I

reach the limits of what I can do, and everyday I see that I am not

quite normal. I am not a depressed person. I don't usually get too

hard on myself. I just recognize reality, and reality hurts at times.

My daughter has CMT as well. She wants to be a ballerina. It breaks

my heart. I dated a ballerina once. I saw her dedication and her

strenuous workouts. I don't know how or if I should break the news

to her.

My friends play basketball every week. I had to stop after I had

foot surgery. They would be kind and slow down for me if I were to

play a pick up game with them. But if it came time to really

compete, like a tournament, they would not let me on the court.

(ly, I wouldn't ask, or expect it.)

Without a doubt your teacher was awfully rude to a paying client.

Some people are just too driven to slow down to a sustainable CMT

pace. They simply don't want to be hindered by kindness. I believe

that your friends ought to walk out with you and find someone who

believes that kindness is as at least as important as progress.

We have a right to reasonable accomodations. We also need to

recognize that we need to be accomadative too. We do not have a

right to prevent others from driving forward with all they have, if

that is their choice.

Sometimes we have to sit at the trailhead by ourselves and wait, and

honestly that hurts.

Like you, I hate to hurt.

As for the cell phone... Some people are just too sensitive. If you

are doing something as inobtrusive as checking the time... However,

talking even in a quiet voice as others are trying to relax is a

different issue.

Mike

[Guest guest]

Great comments, Tom.

Tom Bates wrote:

> Donna,

>

> You ran into a narcissistic personality--she

revealed her discomfort,

> thus making the encounter about her, not you. I

would definitely

> complain to the management--the woman should be

fired. Not only does

> she know nothing about people with difficulties (We

all have

> limitations.), she knows nothing about Yoga. Some

of the psychological

> underpinnings of Yoga have to do with acceptance and

flow, not control,

> perfection, and success. This teacher sees your

level of functioning as

> a reflection her ability (success) and as " holding

the others back "

> (competition). I repeat, this woman knows nothing

about people or

> Yoga. Fire her immediately.

>

> Tom

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

The description of not being " quite normal " struck me as being very insightful.

I never thought that CMT is often a hidden disability. I am also blessed with

partial deafness and wear a hearing aid in one ear.

I always accepted that deafness IS the hidden disability as if I can't hear

someone and don't respond, they think I am a arrogant fool who chose to ignore

them. Deafness doesn't require a cane or crutch or chair to advertise a

disability.

Often CMT is the same. I have been wearing an AFO for 5 years and look like a

drunken sailor when I walk, yet people who have known me during that time are

surprised when they see my AFO when it peeks out when seated.

While ignorant people can really hurt those of us whose disabilities are hidden,

somehow I take solace that my disease hasn't progressed where I need visible

aids. I have a strong B-type personality and basically flip a mental bird toward

those who need it and go on.

Life is to short to worry about all the fools we come in contact with.

Larry