Re: Totally Frustrated

[Guest guest]

Hi

If bio father was bipolar i would certainly suspect bipolar.

Depression in kids can look alot different than the typical withdrawl/ so can

mania. Depression in kids is very often anger/frustration.

I would certainly contact your psychiatrist. I would get a second opinion as

far as the bipolar dx. Perhaps you need something other than risperdal like a

first line mood stabilizer.

I'm not saying your child is bipolar one way or the other. I would say i

would think your doctor would certainly suspect bipolar illness with a family

history and the behavior you describe. I'm not saying the behavior you

describe cannot be of another nature but is certainly suspect. When you say

your doctor does not think its bipolar are you talking about your primary

doctor or psychiatrist?

In either case you need to consult the psychiatrist before taking any advice

from anyone else including me.

I'm sorry you are going through this and hope you can get something stable

started.

Regards, Dave

[Guest guest]

Carol,

If memory serves, your son is 10 years old. (11) was

prescribed 1 mg of Risperdal in the morning, and 1.5 at night. So

far, I haven't seen the need to follow this. He's fine on a half a

tab (.50) in the morning and 1 mg at night.

Your son is only taking a total of .75 mgs, right? I'd call his

doctor (psychiatrist) and ask him if you can go up on the dosage.

You should notice an immediate calming effect with Risperdal. If

not, your son isn't taking enough. How much does he weigh?

Risperdal makes kids sleepy - thats why I only give a half a

tab in the morning (.50) as opposed to the prescribed 1mg. At night,

I give him a full tab (1mg). 's doctor encourages us to

experiment with the medication, going up or down (gradually) to fix

the problem.

What other medications is he taking? Does he take anything for the

anxiety/OCD or ADHD?

And, what is triggering his rages? I'll bet you'll find a FEAR

behind each one.

By all means vent all you like here. We all do it, and that's what

it's here for: to vent, get support and exchange information.

(((hugs)))

Your 3 year old will be fine. Granted, it is disturbing for them,

but I'd focus on getting your 10 year old some peace. Try to keep

them separated as much as possible. Send the 3 year old to grandma's

house, if possible. At this age, they're cute and adorable and

everyone wants them!

What is the 10 year old doing over the summer? Is boredom

contributing to his rages? gets NASTY in the summer with

nothing to do. He's my " high maintaince " kid -- and can't seem to

entertain himself like his brothers used to. It is CRUCIAL in the

summer to keep him busy. That's why he's in summer school during the

month of July, AND going away to camp for a whole GLORIOUS week in

August. I can't wait!

Hang in there!

Joni

> I dont know if we are suppose to vent out here or not but I am just

> so totally frustrated right now. My son has had so many melt downs

> these past few days that I actually had the police come here one

day

> and had him sent to a time out place overnight. Anything I say to

> him he just blows up about and starts screaming, calling me names,

> throwing things. Is this what OCD is all about or is there

something

> else? He has been on .25 of Risperdal three times a day for almost

> two weeks now and I dont see any difference. Is there suppose to

be

> a noticeable difference or what if any? I feel like I am going out

> of my mind right now because I just can't win. His therapist told

me

> to send him to theraputic respite for a few days to give him a

break

> but will this really help. It will help me get my bearings back

but

> will it really help him. I am just so not happy right now and I

dont

> know what to do. The last time we went through this it almost cost

> me my marriage. You see my husband is my son's step-dad and he does

> love him very much but we have a 3 year old that is very affected

by

> all of this. The words that come out of my older son's mouth come

> right back out of my 3 year olds mouth. My son's bio father was

> diagnosed bi-polar a few years ago and I advised my son's doctor

> about this but she said that it doesnt sound like bi-polar to her

> because he doesnt really have a down side of depression. I don't

> know where to turn anymore or who to believe. I really just want

my

> son to get better or at least deal with life so he can grow and

> prosper and enjoy his life. Do I really have the right diagnosis

for

> my son???? ADHD and OCD???? Someone please guide me in the right

> direction.

> Take care,

> Carol in Arizona

[Guest guest]

Yes he is 10 and he takes .25 of Risperdal 3 days a week. I see no calming at

all with him and the littlest things trigger his rages. Just me saying no makes

his go crazy. He weighs 85 pounds. He is also on Dexadrine 3 times a day and

Fluvox for the OCD twice a day. Yes, he does get bored. I signed him up for

the Boys and Girls Club here which is 5 days a week from 9 to 5 but he told us

that everybody there was mean to him and he didnt want to go back. It is very

hard for me to keep him busy the days that he is awake because I work at home

and need to work during the day. I put a call into his doctor to see what I can

do so I just have to wait and see what happens. Thanks.

Carol

joni_and_scott_age11 wrote: Carol,

If memory serves, your son is 10 years old. (11) was

prescribed 1 mg of Risperdal in the morning, and 1.5 at night. So

far, I haven't seen the need to follow this. He's fine on a half a

tab (.50) in the morning and 1 mg at night.

Your son is only taking a total of .75 mgs, right? I'd call his

doctor (psychiatrist) and ask him if you can go up on the dosage.

You should notice an immediate calming effect with Risperdal. If

not, your son isn't taking enough. How much does he weigh?

Risperdal makes kids sleepy - thats why I only give a half a

tab in the morning (.50) as opposed to the prescribed 1mg. At night,

I give him a full tab (1mg). 's doctor encourages us to

experiment with the medication, going up or down (gradually) to fix

the problem.

What other medications is he taking? Does he take anything for the

anxiety/OCD or ADHD?

And, what is triggering his rages? I'll bet you'll find a FEAR

behind each one.

By all means vent all you like here. We all do it, and that's what

it's here for: to vent, get support and exchange information.

(((hugs)))

Your 3 year old will be fine. Granted, it is disturbing for them,

but I'd focus on getting your 10 year old some peace. Try to keep

them separated as much as possible. Send the 3 year old to grandma's

house, if possible. At this age, they're cute and adorable and

everyone wants them!

What is the 10 year old doing over the summer? Is boredom

contributing to his rages? gets NASTY in the summer with

nothing to do. He's my " high maintaince " kid -- and can't seem to

entertain himself like his brothers used to. It is CRUCIAL in the

summer to keep him busy. That's why he's in summer school during the

month of July, AND going away to camp for a whole GLORIOUS week in

August. I can't wait!

Hang in there!

Joni

> I dont know if we are suppose to vent out here or not but I am just

> so totally frustrated right now. My son has had so many melt downs

> these past few days that I actually had the police come here one

day

> and had him sent to a time out place overnight. Anything I say to

> him he just blows up about and starts screaming, calling me names,

> throwing things. Is this what OCD is all about or is there

something

> else? He has been on .25 of Risperdal three times a day for almost

> two weeks now and I dont see any difference. Is there suppose to

be

> a noticeable difference or what if any? I feel like I am going out

> of my mind right now because I just can't win. His therapist told

me

> to send him to theraputic respite for a few days to give him a

break

> but will this really help. It will help me get my bearings back

but

> will it really help him. I am just so not happy right now and I

dont

> know what to do. The last time we went through this it almost cost

> me my marriage. You see my husband is my son's step-dad and he does

> love him very much but we have a 3 year old that is very affected

by

> all of this. The words that come out of my older son's mouth come

> right back out of my 3 year olds mouth. My son's bio father was

> diagnosed bi-polar a few years ago and I advised my son's doctor

> about this but she said that it doesnt sound like bi-polar to her

> because he doesnt really have a down side of depression. I don't

> know where to turn anymore or who to believe. I really just want

my

> son to get better or at least deal with life so he can grow and

> prosper and enjoy his life. Do I really have the right diagnosis

for

> my son???? ADHD and OCD???? Someone please guide me in the right

> direction.

> Take care,

> Carol in Arizona

[Guest guest]

It is the psychiatrist or I should say child psychologist that he is going too.

He it totally freaking out right now and I just dont know what to do.

tota@... wrote: Hi

If bio father was bipolar i would certainly suspect bipolar.

Depression in kids can look alot different than the typical withdrawl/ so can

mania. Depression in kids is very often anger/frustration.

I would certainly contact your psychiatrist. I would get a second opinion as

far as the bipolar dx. Perhaps you need something other than risperdal like a

first line mood stabilizer.

I'm not saying your child is bipolar one way or the other. I would say i

would think your doctor would certainly suspect bipolar illness with a family

history and the behavior you describe. I'm not saying the behavior you

describe cannot be of another nature but is certainly suspect. When you say

your doctor does not think its bipolar are you talking about your primary

doctor or psychiatrist?

In either case you need to consult the psychiatrist before taking any advice

from anyone else including me.

I'm sorry you are going through this and hope you can get something stable

started.

Regards, Dave

[Guest guest]

Hi Carol, While I only a Mom who happens to be one of the moderators on this

list, I too would get in immediate contact with the psychiatrist to do something

about the med situation. In a situation like the one you describe, don't be shy

in calling the psychiatrist who is on call - this is an extremely difficult

situation to be dealing with. In one of your other posts, you mentioned that

your son takes risperdal 3 days a week - if that was correct, then maybe he

should be taking it every day? I also would second Joni's advice about asking

if the dosage should possibly increased. Even if your son is bi-polar, the

risperdal may help to get him calmed down a bit, which is what it sounds like

needs to happen before any other eval can be done. I understand your upset with

having your 3 year old exposed to this type of behavior, and while I would not

suggest that it is good for him/her, my own daughter at that age understood that

her brother was not feeling himself and that his behavior was not soemthing he

could help. Do you have any relatives that could help you out with the kids so

that you can get a break? in Southeastern PA

momof3inaz wrote: I dont know if we are suppose to vent out here or not but I

am just

so totally frustrated right now. My son has had so many melt downs

these past few days that I actually had the police come here one day

and had him sent to a time out place overnight. Anything I say to

him he just blows up about and starts screaming, calling me names,

throwing things. Is this what OCD is all about or is there something

else? He has been on .25 of Risperdal three times a day for almost

two weeks now and I dont see any difference. Is there suppose to be

a noticeable difference or what if any? I feel like I am going out

of my mind right now because I just can't win. His therapist told me

to send him to theraputic respite for a few days to give him a break

but will this really help. It will help me get my bearings back but

will it really help him. I am just so not happy right now and I dont

know what to do. The last time we went through this it almost cost

me my marriage. You see my husband is my son's step-dad and he does

love him very much but we have a 3 year old that is very affected by

all of this. The words that come out of my older son's mouth come

right back out of my 3 year olds mouth. My son's bio father was

diagnosed bi-polar a few years ago and I advised my son's doctor

about this but she said that it doesnt sound like bi-polar to her

because he doesnt really have a down side of depression. I don't

know where to turn anymore or who to believe. I really just want my

son to get better or at least deal with life so he can grow and

prosper and enjoy his life. Do I really have the right diagnosis for

my son???? ADHD and OCD???? Someone please guide me in the right

direction.

Take care,

Carol in Arizona

[Guest guest]

Hi . I guess I wasnt in the right state of mind when I sent the email but

he is on Risperdal every day, three times a day. I have no family here at all

except for my mother in law who is no help to us at all. I have a 14 year old

daugher too who tries to get my 3 year old out of the way during the outbursts.

Anything I say to him today is just making him scream. I am at my wits end

right now and have made plans to send him to respite for a few days just so I

can get with the program again and relax for a few days.

Carol

Joye wrote:

Hi Carol, While I only a Mom who happens to be one of the moderators on this

list, I too would get in immediate contact with the psychiatrist to do something

about the med situation. In a situation like the one you describe, don't be shy

in calling the psychiatrist who is on call - this is an extremely difficult

situation to be dealing with. In one of your other posts, you mentioned that

your son takes risperdal 3 days a week - if that was correct, then maybe he

should be taking it every day? I also would second Joni's advice about asking

if the dosage should possibly increased. Even if your son is bi-polar, the

risperdal may help to get him calmed down a bit, which is what it sounds like

needs to happen before any other eval can be done. I understand your upset with

having your 3 year old exposed to this type of behavior, and while I would not

suggest that it is good for him/her, my own daughter at that age understood that

her brother was not feeling himself and that his behavior was not soemthing he

could help. Do you have any relatives that could help you out with the kids so

that you can get a break? in Southeastern PA

momof3inaz wrote: I dont know if we are suppose to vent out here or not but I am

just

so totally frustrated right now. My son has had so many melt downs

these past few days that I actually had the police come here one day

and had him sent to a time out place overnight. Anything I say to

him he just blows up about and starts screaming, calling me names,

throwing things. Is this what OCD is all about or is there something

else? He has been on .25 of Risperdal three times a day for almost

two weeks now and I dont see any difference. Is there suppose to be

a noticeable difference or what if any? I feel like I am going out

of my mind right now because I just can't win. His therapist told me

to send him to theraputic respite for a few days to give him a break

but will this really help. It will help me get my bearings back but

will it really help him. I am just so not happy right now and I dont

know what to do. The last time we went through this it almost cost

me my marriage. You see my husband is my son's step-dad and he does

love him very much but we have a 3 year old that is very affected by

all of this. The words that come out of my older son's mouth come

right back out of my 3 year olds mouth. My son's bio father was

diagnosed bi-polar a few years ago and I advised my son's doctor

about this but she said that it doesnt sound like bi-polar to her

because he doesnt really have a down side of depression. I don't

know where to turn anymore or who to believe. I really just want my

son to get better or at least deal with life so he can grow and

prosper and enjoy his life. Do I really have the right diagnosis for

my son???? ADHD and OCD???? Someone please guide me in the right

direction.

Take care,

Carol in Arizona

[Guest guest]

Dear Carol,

While I'm only a mom, I have learned that diagnosing bipolar

disorder in children is still pretty controversial in the child psych.

community. Many people still believe it doesn't occur in children. I have two

friends who have children who have been diagnosed as bipolar and are being

treated as such, and they can't get over the difference!! A third friend is

herself bipolar, and her six year old son shows all the symptoms. She took

him to the psychiatrist my daughter sees a couple of days ago. He said, well,

he does have all the tendencies, and it is strongly genetically linked, but

he's so young. Let's try more therapy and the techniques in the book The

Explosive Child for a while before we start medication. Last night she had to

have her son admitted to a psych. hospital. He was trying to kill her and his

brother and the police had to come and carry him away! (He's a very strong

kid too). I had to rush over there and pick up her 8 year old and have him

spend the night here. Today the six year old is starting medication for

bipolar disorder.

My advice (and again, I'm just a mom) is to get a second opinion on

his diagnosis. If you feel something is just not right, ask again. It can't

hurt. Treating him for OCD and ADHD if that's not the real issue won't help,

and can make things worse.

I hope things get better - continue to vent away and let us know how

this turns out!

[Guest guest]

Hi Carol. I've read everyone else's good advice to you. But I was

wondering - what does your son say during these outbursts? If you

were to ask him WHY he is behaving like this or getting so mad/angry,

etc. - does he have a reason? (Heck, with my oldest son who has a

temper but isn't diagnosed with anything - it's just the " I hate it

here " excuse. But everything's fine so long as he doesn't hear the

word " no " or he's not bored.) I was just wondering if your son gives

reasons - like no one likes him or something. And also, if your son

has always had " ADHD " I wonder could it be getting worse as he's

getting closer to puberty? I really wondered about puberty/hormones

and the OCD relationship too when got so bad in 6th grade

with OCD behaviors. He was getting taller, still thin but also

beginning to really break out with pimples, etc.

Vent here all you want, it's certainly helped me to have this group

to vent to! Enjoy your respite!

> I dont know if we are suppose to vent out here or not but I am just

> so totally frustrated right now. My son has had so many melt downs

> these past few days that I actually had the police come here one

day

> and had him sent to a time out place overnight. Anything I say to

> him he just blows up about and starts screaming, calling me names,

> throwing things. Is this what OCD is all about or is there

something

> else? He has been on .25 of Risperdal three times a day for almost

> two weeks now and I dont see any difference. Is there suppose to

be

> a noticeable difference or what if any? I feel like I am going out

> of my mind right now because I just can't win. His therapist told

me

> to send him to theraputic respite for a few days to give him a

break

> but will this really help. It will help me get my bearings back

but

> will it really help him. I am just so not happy right now and I

dont

> know what to do. The last time we went through this it almost cost

> me my marriage. You see my husband is my son's step-dad and he does

> love him very much but we have a 3 year old that is very affected

by

> all of this. The words that come out of my older son's mouth come

> right back out of my 3 year olds mouth. My son's bio father was

> diagnosed bi-polar a few years ago and I advised my son's doctor

> about this but she said that it doesnt sound like bi-polar to her

> because he doesnt really have a down side of depression. I don't

> know where to turn anymore or who to believe. I really just want

my

> son to get better or at least deal with life so he can grow and

> prosper and enjoy his life. Do I really have the right diagnosis

for

> my son???? ADHD and OCD???? Someone please guide me in the right

> direction.

> Take care,

> Carol in Arizona

[Guest guest]

Hi Chris. Mostly the word No gets him angry and if he is bored and I won't let

him do certain things. He screams that he hates me, it's his fault that he acts

the way he does, he hates his life, he hates living here at that kind of stuff.

He was diagnosed with ADHD in the 2nd grade. Does ADHD worsen when kids are

going through puberty?

wrote: Hi Carol. I've read everyone

else's good advice to you. But I was

wondering - what does your son say during these outbursts? If you

were to ask him WHY he is behaving like this or getting so mad/angry,

etc. - does he have a reason? (Heck, with my oldest son who has a

temper but isn't diagnosed with anything - it's just the " I hate it

here " excuse. But everything's fine so long as he doesn't hear the

word " no " or he's not bored.) I was just wondering if your son gives

reasons - like no one likes him or something. And also, if your son

has always had " ADHD " I wonder could it be getting worse as he's

getting closer to puberty? I really wondered about puberty/hormones

and the OCD relationship too when got so bad in 6th grade

with OCD behaviors. He was getting taller, still thin but also

beginning to really break out with pimples, etc.

Vent here all you want, it's certainly helped me to have this group

to vent to! Enjoy your respite!

> I dont know if we are suppose to vent out here or not but I am just

> so totally frustrated right now. My son has had so many melt downs

> these past few days that I actually had the police come here one

day

> and had him sent to a time out place overnight. Anything I say to

> him he just blows up about and starts screaming, calling me names,

> throwing things. Is this what OCD is all about or is there

something

> else? He has been on .25 of Risperdal three times a day for almost

> two weeks now and I dont see any difference. Is there suppose to

be

> a noticeable difference or what if any? I feel like I am going out

> of my mind right now because I just can't win. His therapist told

me

> to send him to theraputic respite for a few days to give him a

break

> but will this really help. It will help me get my bearings back

but

> will it really help him. I am just so not happy right now and I

dont

> know what to do. The last time we went through this it almost cost

> me my marriage. You see my husband is my son's step-dad and he does

> love him very much but we have a 3 year old that is very affected

by

> all of this. The words that come out of my older son's mouth come

> right back out of my 3 year olds mouth. My son's bio father was

> diagnosed bi-polar a few years ago and I advised my son's doctor

> about this but she said that it doesnt sound like bi-polar to her

> because he doesnt really have a down side of depression. I don't

> know where to turn anymore or who to believe. I really just want

my

> son to get better or at least deal with life so he can grow and

> prosper and enjoy his life. Do I really have the right diagnosis

for

> my son???? ADHD and OCD???? Someone please guide me in the right

> direction.

> Take care,

> Carol in Arizona

[Guest guest]

Hello, My name is Randi I also have 3 kids a 14yo boy

a 12yo boy (he has OCD) and a 6yo girl. The one piece

of advice I have is embrace the fact that you have a

husband there with you and thank him often because I

am also a single mother and I am here to tell you that

dealing with this disorder alone is horrible oh I ask

my family for advice or help but there only answer is

one that I will never consider and that is to beat

him. And so after I heard that response I just don't

talk to them any more about it. And then the

depression on my part sets in because I don't have

anyone except my 3 kids. any how just remember the

important things.

Take Care, Randi

--- & #34;momof3inaz@... & #34;

& lt;momof3inaz@... & gt; wrote:

& gt;

& gt; Yes he is 10 and he takes .25 of Risperdal 3

days a

& gt; week. I see no calming at all with him and the

& gt; littlest things trigger his rages. Just me

saying

& gt; no makes his go crazy. He weighs 85 pounds. He

is

& gt; also on Dexadrine 3 times a day and Fluvox for

the

& gt; OCD twice a day. Yes, he does get bored. I

signed

& gt; him up for the Boys and Girls Club here which is

5

& gt; days a week from 9 to 5 but he told us that

& gt; everybody there was mean to him and he didnt want

to

& gt; go back. It is very hard for me to keep him busy

& gt; the days that he is awake because I work at home

and

& gt; need to work during the day. I put a call into

his

& gt; doctor to see what I can do so I just have to

wait

& gt; and see what happens. Thanks.

& gt; Carol

& gt; joni_and_scott_age11

& lt;CreativeDreamR@... & gt;

& gt; wrote: Carol,

& gt; If memory serves, your son is 10 years old.

& gt; (11) was

& gt; prescribed 1 mg of Risperdal in the morning, and

1.5

& gt; at night. So

& gt; far, I haven't seen the need to follow this.

He's

& gt; fine on a half a

& gt; tab (.50) in the morning and 1 mg at night.

& gt; Your son is only taking a total of .75 mgs,

right?

& gt; I'd call his

& gt; doctor (psychiatrist) and ask him if you can go

up

& gt; on the dosage.

& gt; You should notice an immediate calming effect

with

& gt; Risperdal. If

& gt; not, your son isn't taking enough. How much does

he

& gt; weigh?

& gt;

& gt; Risperdal makes kids sleepy - thats why I only

give

& gt; a half a

& gt; tab in the morning (.50) as opposed to the

& gt; prescribed 1mg. At night,

& gt; I give him a full tab (1mg). 's doctor

& gt; encourages us to

& gt; experiment with the medication, going up or down

& gt; (gradually) to fix

& gt; the problem.

& gt;

& gt; What other medications is he taking? Does he

take

& gt; anything for the

& gt; anxiety/OCD or ADHD?

& gt;

& gt; And, what is triggering his rages? I'll bet

you'll

& gt; find a FEAR

& gt; behind each one.

& gt;

& gt; By all means vent all you like here. We all do

it,

& gt; and that's what

& gt; it's here for: to vent, get support and exchange

& gt; information.

& gt; (((hugs)))

& gt;

& gt; Your 3 year old will be fine. Granted, it is

& gt; disturbing for them,

& gt; but I'd focus on getting your 10 year old some

& gt; peace. Try to keep

& gt; them separated as much as possible. Send the 3

year

& gt; old to grandma's

& gt; house, if possible. At this age, they're cute

and

& gt; adorable and

& gt; everyone wants them!

& gt;

& gt; What is the 10 year old doing over the summer?

Is

& gt; boredom

& gt; contributing to his rages? gets NASTY in

the

& gt; summer with

& gt; nothing to do. He's my & #34;high maintaince & #34;

kid -- and

& gt; can't seem to

& gt; entertain himself like his brothers used to. It

is

& gt; CRUCIAL in the

& gt; summer to keep him busy. That's why he's in

summer

& gt; school during the

& gt; month of July, AND going away to camp for a whole

& gt; GLORIOUS week in

& gt; August. I can't wait!

& gt; Hang in there!

& gt; Joni

& gt;

& gt;

& gt;

& gt;

& gt; & gt; I dont know if we are suppose to vent out

here or

& gt; not but I am just

& gt; & gt; so totally frustrated right now. My son has

had

& gt; so many melt downs

& gt; & gt; these past few days that I actually had the

police

& gt; come here one

& gt; day

& gt; & gt; and had him sent to a time out place

overnight.

& gt; Anything I say to

& gt; & gt; him he just blows up about and starts

screaming,

& gt; calling me names,

& gt; & gt; throwing things. Is this what OCD is all

about or

& gt; is there

& gt; something

& gt; & gt; else? He has been on .25 of Risperdal three

times

& gt; a day for almost

& gt; & gt; two weeks now and I dont see any difference.

Is

& gt; there suppose to

& gt; be

& gt; & gt; a noticeable difference or what if any? I

feel

& gt; like I am going out

& gt; & gt; of my mind right now because I just can't

win.

& gt; His therapist told

& gt; me

& gt; & gt; to send him to theraputic respite for a few

days

& gt; to give him a

& gt; break

& gt; & gt; but will this really help. It will help me

get my

& gt; bearings back

& gt; but

& gt; & gt; will it really help him. I am just so not

happy

& gt; right now and I

& gt; dont

& gt; & gt; know what to do. The last time we went

through

& gt; this it almost cost

& gt; & gt; me my marriage. You see my husband is my

son's

& gt; step-dad and he does

& gt; & gt; love him very much but we have a 3 year old

that

& gt; is very affected

& gt; by

& gt; & gt; all of this. The words that come out of my

older

& gt; son's mouth come

& gt; & gt; right back out of my 3 year olds mouth. My

son's

& gt; bio father was

& gt; & gt; diagnosed bi-polar a few years ago and I

advised

& gt; my son's doctor

& gt; & gt; about this but she said that it doesnt sound

like

& gt; bi-polar to her

& gt; & gt; because he doesnt really have a down side of

& gt; depression. I don't

& gt; & gt; know where to turn anymore or who to

believe. I

& gt; really just want

& gt; my

& gt; & gt; son to get better or at least deal with life

so he

& gt; can grow and

& gt; & gt; prosper and enjoy his life. Do I really

have the

& gt; right diagnosis

& gt; for

& gt; & gt; my son???? ADHD and OCD???? Someone please

guide

& gt; me in the right

& gt; & gt; direction.

& gt; & gt; Take care,

& gt; & gt; Carol in Arizona

& gt;

& gt;

& gt;

[Guest guest]

Thanks Randi and you are not alone. You have this support here. My husband is

my son's step dad and it is pretty hard on him too.

Randi Crane wrote: Hello, My name is Randi I also have 3

kids a 14yo boy

a 12yo boy (he has OCD) and a 6yo girl. The one piece

of advice I have is embrace the fact that you have a

husband there with you and thank him often because I

am also a single mother and I am here to tell you that

dealing with this disorder alone is horrible oh I ask

my family for advice or help but there only answer is

one that I will never consider and that is to beat

him. And so after I heard that response I just don't

talk to them any more about it. And then the

depression on my part sets in because I don't have

anyone except my 3 kids. any how just remember the

important things.

Take Care, Randi

--- & #34;momof3inaz@... & #34;

& lt;momof3inaz@... & gt; wrote:

& gt;

& gt; Yes he is 10 and he takes .25 of Risperdal 3

days a

& gt; week. I see no calming at all with him and the

& gt; littlest things trigger his rages. Just me

saying

& gt; no makes his go crazy. He weighs 85 pounds. He

is

& gt; also on Dexadrine 3 times a day and Fluvox for

the

& gt; OCD twice a day. Yes, he does get bored. I

signed

& gt; him up for the Boys and Girls Club here which is

5

& gt; days a week from 9 to 5 but he told us that

& gt; everybody there was mean to him and he didnt want

to

& gt; go back. It is very hard for me to keep him busy

& gt; the days that he is awake because I work at home

and

& gt; need to work during the day. I put a call into

his

& gt; doctor to see what I can do so I just have to

wait

& gt; and see what happens. Thanks.

& gt; Carol

& gt; joni_and_scott_age11

& lt;CreativeDreamR@... & gt;

& gt; wrote: Carol,

& gt; If memory serves, your son is 10 years old.

& gt; (11) was

& gt; prescribed 1 mg of Risperdal in the morning, and

1.5

& gt; at night. So

& gt; far, I haven't seen the need to follow this.

He's

& gt; fine on a half a

& gt; tab (.50) in the morning and 1 mg at night.

& gt; Your son is only taking a total of .75 mgs,

right?

& gt; I'd call his

& gt; doctor (psychiatrist) and ask him if you can go

up

& gt; on the dosage.

& gt; You should notice an immediate calming effect

with

& gt; Risperdal. If

& gt; not, your son isn't taking enough. How much does

he

& gt; weigh?

& gt;

& gt; Risperdal makes kids sleepy - thats why I only

give

& gt; a half a

& gt; tab in the morning (.50) as opposed to the

& gt; prescribed 1mg. At night,

& gt; I give him a full tab (1mg). 's doctor

& gt; encourages us to

& gt; experiment with the medication, going up or down

& gt; (gradually) to fix

& gt; the problem.

& gt;

& gt; What other medications is he taking? Does he

take

& gt; anything for the

& gt; anxiety/OCD or ADHD?

& gt;

& gt; And, what is triggering his rages? I'll bet

you'll

& gt; find a FEAR

& gt; behind each one.

& gt;

& gt; By all means vent all you like here. We all do

it,

& gt; and that's what

& gt; it's here for: to vent, get support and exchange

& gt; information.

& gt; (((hugs)))

& gt;

& gt; Your 3 year old will be fine. Granted, it is

& gt; disturbing for them,

& gt; but I'd focus on getting your 10 year old some

& gt; peace. Try to keep

& gt; them separated as much as possible. Send the 3

year

& gt; old to grandma's

& gt; house, if possible. At this age, they're cute

and

& gt; adorable and

& gt; everyone wants them!

& gt;

& gt; What is the 10 year old doing over the summer?

Is

& gt; boredom

& gt; contributing to his rages? gets NASTY in

the

& gt; summer with

& gt; nothing to do. He's my & #34;high maintaince & #34;

kid -- and

& gt; can't seem to

& gt; entertain himself like his brothers used to. It

is

& gt; CRUCIAL in the

& gt; summer to keep him busy. That's why he's in

summer

& gt; school during the

& gt; month of July, AND going away to camp for a whole

& gt; GLORIOUS week in

& gt; August. I can't wait!

& gt; Hang in there!

& gt; Joni

& gt;

& gt;

& gt;

& gt;

& gt; & gt; I dont know if we are suppose to vent out

here or

& gt; not but I am just

& gt; & gt; so totally frustrated right now. My son has

had

& gt; so many melt downs

& gt; & gt; these past few days that I actually had the

police

& gt; come here one

& gt; day

& gt; & gt; and had him sent to a time out place

overnight.

& gt; Anything I say to

& gt; & gt; him he just blows up about and starts

screaming,

& gt; calling me names,

& gt; & gt; throwing things. Is this what OCD is all

about or

& gt; is there

& gt; something

& gt; & gt; else? He has been on .25 of Risperdal three

times

& gt; a day for almost

& gt; & gt; two weeks now and I dont see any difference.

Is

& gt; there suppose to

& gt; be

& gt; & gt; a noticeable difference or what if any? I

feel

& gt; like I am going out

& gt; & gt; of my mind right now because I just can't

win.

& gt; His therapist told

& gt; me

& gt; & gt; to send him to theraputic respite for a few

days

& gt; to give him a

& gt; break

& gt; & gt; but will this really help. It will help me

get my

& gt; bearings back

& gt; but

& gt; & gt; will it really help him. I am just so not

happy

& gt; right now and I

& gt; dont

& gt; & gt; know what to do. The last time we went

through

& gt; this it almost cost

& gt; & gt; me my marriage. You see my husband is my

son's

& gt; step-dad and he does

& gt; & gt; love him very much but we have a 3 year old

that

& gt; is very affected

& gt; by

& gt; & gt; all of this. The words that come out of my

older

& gt; son's mouth come

& gt; & gt; right back out of my 3 year olds mouth. My

son's

& gt; bio father was

& gt; & gt; diagnosed bi-polar a few years ago and I

advised

& gt; my son's doctor

& gt; & gt; about this but she said that it doesnt sound

like

& gt; bi-polar to her

& gt; & gt; because he doesnt really have a down side of

& gt; depression. I don't

& gt; & gt; know where to turn anymore or who to

believe. I

& gt; really just want

& gt; my

& gt; & gt; son to get better or at least deal with life

so he

& gt; can grow and

& gt; & gt; prosper and enjoy his life. Do I really

have the

& gt; right diagnosis

& gt; for

& gt; & gt; my son???? ADHD and OCD???? Someone please

guide

& gt; me in the right

& gt; & gt; direction.

& gt; & gt; Take care,

& gt; & gt; Carol in Arizona

& gt;

& gt;

& gt;

[Guest guest]

Good luck with the new meds Judy. My son was on Adderall two years ago and

developed a tic from it so they changed to the Dexadrine.

Judy Lovchik wrote: Yes, everything worsens when they

go through puberty. Actually, my son's OCD did not get worse, but that is

because he had such a good therapist in his early adolescence. But his ADD is

intractable. We are trying a new med now, adderal XR. This is his second day,

and we saw some good results. But the appetite side effect was pretty bad also.

Judy

Re: Re: Totally Frustrated

Hi Chris. Mostly the word No gets him angry and if he is bored and I won't

let him do certain things. He screams that he hates me, it's his fault that he

acts the way he does, he hates his life, he hates living here at that kind of

stuff. He was diagnosed with ADHD in the 2nd grade. Does ADHD worsen when kids

are going through puberty?

wrote: Hi Carol. I've read everyone

else's good advice to you. But I was

[Guest guest]

>

> Hi Chris. Mostly the word No gets him angry and if he is bored

and I won't let him do certain things. He screams that he hates me,

it's his fault that he acts the way he does, he hates his life, he

hates living here at that kind of stuff. He was diagnosed with ADHD

in the 2nd grade. Does ADHD worsen when kids are going through

puberty?

Yes, EVERYTHING gets worse during puberty!!!

Try saying " no " in different ways. These kids are extremely

sensitive to that word (because they want to control everything)- at

least, that's been my experience with . Instead of " no " I

say, " Choose one or the other: sit in your room or playing outside

with your friends. "

Or, " Which sounds more fun to you? The Boys Club or SCHOOL? " (I

doubt he'll pick school. Or, insert some other unfavorable

activity). Another one: " Would you prefer to take out the trash, or

get a deduction in your allowance? The choice is yours. "

This gives them a feeling of empowerment and control over their

environment, and it helps them make decisions, too.

One more: " Let's look at your choices. You can either go to your

room and scream NOW, or you can do it later today and miss going to

the movie with your friend. Which do you choose? "

I have found that when I take something away from (his right to

get angry), he gets worse. So, I remind him of his choices, and to

get angry elsewhere, like in his room.

About the meltdowns. Don't allow him to regurgitate all of his

emotions all over you. Tell him to take it to his room and beat the

pillows on his bed. Go with him and show him how to do it, if that

helps. Make it fun. A punching bag is another great way for boys to

vent. Do you have a trampoline? All 3 of my sons worked out alot of

aggression on THAT wonderful invention! It was the best $200 bucks I

ever spent! Plus, it attracts kids to your house, and the playmates

keep them busy.

Last point. Make sure *YOU* remain calm during the meltdowns. If

you're losing it, he'll lose it too. Walking away is one of the best

things to do. That's hard if you work at home, but you can go to

another room and lock the door.

All kids say " I hate myself " or " I hate YOU, mom " -- never met one

yet that didn't try to work that number on us! Remind him to be

angry at *OCD* (not himself) and to 'boss it back.' Don't let him

suck you into his drama!! If you react to it, you'll make it worse.

I hope your doctor got in touch with you today about his dosage,

which In My Opinion, is too low. And Risperdal *is* a mood

stabalizer (and many bipolar as well as OCD people take it), so you

should see results when the dosage is correct.

Good luck,

Joni (just another mom - and no expert)

[Guest guest]

Hi, This article sounds so much like my problem, my daughter 12yrs old was

diagnost as o.c.d. then she became so bAD with her thoughts that i took her to a

psych hospital in berkely calif. and she was there for 6 days, meanwhile the

psychiologist says rule out ocd and put her down as possible bipolar, but cant

tell till shes at her end of puberty meanwhile treat her for adhd, I am also

frustrated cuz now her psychiatrist says i still say its ocd with adhd so we

will treat her for that putting her on paxil which is not doing anything. she

has been on alot of medications. My daughter has obsessive thoughts such as

sexual things like touching and saying she wants to touch private places, but

not sure what she did, also psychotic stuff like killing me and how she is

going to do it all the time every night, what i need to know is to the other

person whos son tried to kill them and the brother , did he say he was going to

do this before and it became worse or what? Please write back cause i am so

confused about all of this, Patty in calif.

Re: Totally Frustrated

Dear Carol,

While I'm only a mom, I have learned that diagnosing bipolar

disorder in children is still pretty controversial in the child psych.

community. Many people still believe it doesn't occur in children. I have two

friends who have children who have been diagnosed as bipolar and are being

treated as such, and they can't get over the difference!! A third friend is

herself bipolar, and her six year old son shows all the symptoms. She took

him to the psychiatrist my daughter sees a couple of days ago. He said, well,

he does have all the tendencies, and it is strongly genetically linked, but

he's so young. Let's try more therapy and the techniques in the book The

Explosive Child for a while before we start medication. Last night she had to

have her son admitted to a psych. hospital. He was trying to kill her and his

brother and the police had to come and carry him away! (He's a very strong

kid too). I had to rush over there and pick up her 8 year old and have him

spend the night here. Today the six year old is starting medication for

bipolar disorder.

My advice (and again, I'm just a mom) is to get a second opinion on

his diagnosis. If you feel something is just not right, ask again. It can't

hurt. Treating him for OCD and ADHD if that's not the real issue won't help,

and can make things worse.

I hope things get better - continue to vent away and let us know how

this turns out!

[Guest guest]

Dear Carol , I feel the same way, does my daughter have ocd or adhd or bipolar

and how do we know what is puberty and what is the illness? The problem is

doctors have a hard time figureing it out, and i too just want the proper

medicine, patty in calif

Re: Re: Totally Frustrated

Thanks Randi and you are not alone. You have this support here. My husband is

my son's step dad and it is pretty hard on him too.

Randi Crane wrote: Hello, My name is Randi I also have 3

kids a 14yo boy

a 12yo boy (he has OCD) and a 6yo girl. The one piece

of advice I have is embrace the fact that you have a

husband there with you and thank him often because I

am also a single mother and I am here to tell you that

dealing with this disorder alone is horrible oh I ask

my family for advice or help but there only answer is

one that I will never consider and that is to beat

him. And so after I heard that response I just don't

talk to them any more about it. And then the

depression on my part sets in because I don't have

anyone except my 3 kids. any how just remember the

important things.

Take Care, Randi

--- & #34;momof3inaz@... & #34;

& lt;momof3inaz@... & gt; wrote:

& gt;

& gt; Yes he is 10 and he takes .25 of Risperdal 3

days a

& gt; week. I see no calming at all with him and the

& gt; littlest things trigger his rages. Just me

saying

& gt; no makes his go crazy. He weighs 85 pounds. He

is

& gt; also on Dexadrine 3 times a day and Fluvox for

the

& gt; OCD twice a day. Yes, he does get bored. I

signed

& gt; him up for the Boys and Girls Club here which is

5

& gt; days a week from 9 to 5 but he told us that

& gt; everybody there was mean to him and he didnt want

to

& gt; go back. It is very hard for me to keep him busy

& gt; the days that he is awake because I work at home

and

& gt; need to work during the day. I put a call into

his

& gt; doctor to see what I can do so I just have to

wait

& gt; and see what happens. Thanks.

& gt; Carol

& gt; joni_and_scott_age11

& lt;CreativeDreamR@... & gt;

& gt; wrote: Carol,

& gt; If memory serves, your son is 10 years old.

& gt; (11) was

& gt; prescribed 1 mg of Risperdal in the morning, and

1.5

& gt; at night. So

& gt; far, I haven't seen the need to follow this.

He's

& gt; fine on a half a

& gt; tab (.50) in the morning and 1 mg at night.

& gt; Your son is only taking a total of .75 mgs,

right?

& gt; I'd call his

& gt; doctor (psychiatrist) and ask him if you can go

up

& gt; on the dosage.

& gt; You should notice an immediate calming effect

with

& gt; Risperdal. If

& gt; not, your son isn't taking enough. How much does

he

& gt; weigh?

& gt;

& gt; Risperdal makes kids sleepy - thats why I only

give

& gt; a half a

& gt; tab in the morning (.50) as opposed to the

& gt; prescribed 1mg. At night,

& gt; I give him a full tab (1mg). 's doctor

& gt; encourages us to

& gt; experiment with the medication, going up or down

& gt; (gradually) to fix

& gt; the problem.

& gt;

& gt; What other medications is he taking? Does he

take

& gt; anything for the

& gt; anxiety/OCD or ADHD?

& gt;

& gt; And, what is triggering his rages? I'll bet

you'll

& gt; find a FEAR

& gt; behind each one.

& gt;

& gt; By all means vent all you like here. We all do

it,

& gt; and that's what

& gt; it's here for: to vent, get support and exchange

& gt; information.

& gt; (((hugs)))

& gt;

& gt; Your 3 year old will be fine. Granted, it is

& gt; disturbing for them,

& gt; but I'd focus on getting your 10 year old some

& gt; peace. Try to keep

& gt; them separated as much as possible. Send the 3

year

& gt; old to grandma's

& gt; house, if possible. At this age, they're cute

and

& gt; adorable and

& gt; everyone wants them!

& gt;

& gt; What is the 10 year old doing over the summer?

Is

& gt; boredom

& gt; contributing to his rages? gets NASTY in

the

& gt; summer with

& gt; nothing to do. He's my & #34;high maintaince & #34;

kid -- and

& gt; can't seem to

& gt; entertain himself like his brothers used to. It

is

& gt; CRUCIAL in the

& gt; summer to keep him busy. That's why he's in

summer

& gt; school during the

& gt; month of July, AND going away to camp for a whole

& gt; GLORIOUS week in

& gt; August. I can't wait!

& gt; Hang in there!

& gt; Joni

& gt;

& gt;

& gt;

& gt;

& gt; & gt; I dont know if we are suppose to vent out

here or

& gt; not but I am just

& gt; & gt; so totally frustrated right now. My son has

had

& gt; so many melt downs

& gt; & gt; these past few days that I actually had the

police

& gt; come here one

& gt; day

& gt; & gt; and had him sent to a time out place

overnight.

& gt; Anything I say to

& gt; & gt; him he just blows up about and starts

screaming,

& gt; calling me names,

& gt; & gt; throwing things. Is this what OCD is all

about or

& gt; is there

& gt; something

& gt; & gt; else? He has been on .25 of Risperdal three

times

& gt; a day for almost

& gt; & gt; two weeks now and I dont see any difference.

Is

& gt; there suppose to

& gt; be

& gt; & gt; a noticeable difference or what if any? I

feel

& gt; like I am going out

& gt; & gt; of my mind right now because I just can't

win.

& gt; His therapist told

& gt; me

& gt; & gt; to send him to theraputic respite for a few

days

& gt; to give him a

& gt; break

& gt; & gt; but will this really help. It will help me

get my

& gt; bearings back

& gt; but

& gt; & gt; will it really help him. I am just so not

happy

& gt; right now and I

& gt; dont

& gt; & gt; know what to do. The last time we went

through

& gt; this it almost cost

& gt; & gt; me my marriage. You see my husband is my

son's

& gt; step-dad and he does

& gt; & gt; love him very much but we have a 3 year old

that

& gt; is very affected

& gt; by

& gt; & gt; all of this. The words that come out of my

older

& gt; son's mouth come

& gt; & gt; right back out of my 3 year olds mouth. My

son's

& gt; bio father was

& gt; & gt; diagnosed bi-polar a few years ago and I

advised

& gt; my son's doctor

& gt; & gt; about this but she said that it doesnt sound

like

& gt; bi-polar to her

& gt; & gt; because he doesnt really have a down side of

& gt; depression. I don't

& gt; & gt; know where to turn anymore or who to

believe. I

& gt; really just want

& gt; my

& gt; & gt; son to get better or at least deal with life

so he

& gt; can grow and

& gt; & gt; prosper and enjoy his life. Do I really

have the

& gt; right diagnosis

& gt; for

& gt; & gt; my son???? ADHD and OCD???? Someone please

guide

& gt; me in the right

& gt; & gt; direction.

& gt; & gt; Take care,

& gt; & gt; Carol in Arizona

& gt;

& gt;

& gt;

[Guest guest]

Hi . I am going to see the doctor again and discuss this again. From

what I have told the doctor, she says it doesnt sound like bipolar only because

my son doesnt have the depressed side. I am just so confused as to what

bi-polar really is because the symptoms of a lot of these problems are all the

same. What exactly is bi-polar?

Carol

xslav@... wrote: Dear Carol,

While I'm only a mom, I have learned that diagnosing bipolar

disorder in children is still pretty controversial in the child psych.

community. Many people still believe it doesn't occur in children. I have two

friends who have children who have been diagnosed as bipolar and are being

treated as such, and they can't get over the difference!! A third friend is

herself bipolar, and her six year old son shows all the symptoms. She took

him to the psychiatrist my daughter sees a couple of days ago. He said, well,

he does have all the tendencies, and it is strongly genetically linked, but

he's so young. Let's try more therapy and the techniques in the book The

Explosive Child for a while before we start medication. Last night she had to

have her son admitted to a psych. hospital. He was trying to kill her and his

brother and the police had to come and carry him away! (He's a very strong

kid too). I had to rush over there and pick up her 8 year old and have him

spend the night here. Today the six year old is starting medication for

bipolar disorder.

My advice (and again, I'm just a mom) is to get a second opinion on

his diagnosis. If you feel something is just not right, ask again. It can't

hurt. Treating him for OCD and ADHD if that's not the real issue won't help,

and can make things worse.

I hope things get better - continue to vent away and let us know how

this turns out!

[Guest guest]

Thanks Joni. This email of yours was great. I dont know why I get teary eyed

when I read things like this. I just got the book from Amazon today - Freeing

your child from obsessive-compulsive disorder and plan on starting that tomorrow

while my son is gone.

Carol

joni_and_scott_age11 wrote:

>

> Hi Chris. Mostly the word No gets him angry and if he is bored

and I won't let him do certain things. He screams that he hates me,

it's his fault that he acts the way he does, he hates his life, he

hates living here at that kind of stuff. He was diagnosed with ADHD

in the 2nd grade. Does ADHD worsen when kids are going through

puberty?

Yes, EVERYTHING gets worse during puberty!!!

Try saying " no " in different ways. These kids are extremely

sensitive to that word (because they want to control everything)- at

least, that's been my experience with . Instead of " no " I

say, " Choose one or the other: sit in your room or playing outside

with your friends. "

Or, " Which sounds more fun to you? The Boys Club or SCHOOL? " (I

doubt he'll pick school. Or, insert some other unfavorable

activity). Another one: " Would you prefer to take out the trash, or

get a deduction in your allowance? The choice is yours. "

This gives them a feeling of empowerment and control over their

environment, and it helps them make decisions, too.

One more: " Let's look at your choices. You can either go to your

room and scream NOW, or you can do it later today and miss going to

the movie with your friend. Which do you choose? "

I have found that when I take something away from (his right to

get angry), he gets worse. So, I remind him of his choices, and to

get angry elsewhere, like in his room.

About the meltdowns. Don't allow him to regurgitate all of his

emotions all over you. Tell him to take it to his room and beat the

pillows on his bed. Go with him and show him how to do it, if that

helps. Make it fun. A punching bag is another great way for boys to

vent. Do you have a trampoline? All 3 of my sons worked out alot of

aggression on THAT wonderful invention! It was the best $200 bucks I

ever spent! Plus, it attracts kids to your house, and the playmates

keep them busy.

Last point. Make sure *YOU* remain calm during the meltdowns. If

you're losing it, he'll lose it too. Walking away is one of the best

things to do. That's hard if you work at home, but you can go to

another room and lock the door.

All kids say " I hate myself " or " I hate YOU, mom " -- never met one

yet that didn't try to work that number on us! Remind him to be

angry at *OCD* (not himself) and to 'boss it back.' Don't let him

suck you into his drama!! If you react to it, you'll make it worse.

I hope your doctor got in touch with you today about his dosage,

which In My Opinion, is too low. And Risperdal *is* a mood

stabalizer (and many bipolar as well as OCD people take it), so you

should see results when the dosage is correct.

Good luck,

Joni (just another mom - and no expert)

[Guest guest]

I am just at the point right now where I am doubting the doctor's too. I feel

like they are looking at me like I am crazy when I tell them things that my son

does. I just want this all to end and soon which I know it won't. Like I have

said before I love my son so much and don't want it to have to get to the point

where I will need to hospitalize him to find out what's wrong.

Carol In Arizona

patricia manzanares wrote: Dear Carol , I feel the

same way, does my daughter have ocd or adhd or bipolar and how do we know what

is puberty and what is the illness? The problem is doctors have a hard time

figureing it out, and i too just want the proper medicine, patty in calif

Re: Re: Totally Frustrated

Thanks Randi and you are not alone. You have this support here. My husband is

my son's step dad and it is pretty hard on him too.

Randi Crane wrote: Hello, My name is Randi I also have 3

kids a 14yo boy

a 12yo boy (he has OCD) and a 6yo girl. The one piece

of advice I have is embrace the fact that you have a

husband there with you and thank him often because I

am also a single mother and I am here to tell you that

dealing with this disorder alone is horrible oh I ask

my family for advice or help but there only answer is

one that I will never consider and that is to beat

him. And so after I heard that response I just don't

talk to them any more about it. And then the

depression on my part sets in because I don't have

anyone except my 3 kids. any how just remember the

important things.

Take Care, Randi

--- & #34;momof3inaz@... & #34;

& lt;momof3inaz@... & gt; wrote:

& gt;

& gt; Yes he is 10 and he takes .25 of Risperdal 3

days a

& gt; week. I see no calming at all with him and the

& gt; littlest things trigger his rages. Just me

saying

& gt; no makes his go crazy. He weighs 85 pounds. He

is

& gt; also on Dexadrine 3 times a day and Fluvox for

the

& gt; OCD twice a day. Yes, he does get bored. I

signed

& gt; him up for the Boys and Girls Club here which is

5

& gt; days a week from 9 to 5 but he told us that

& gt; everybody there was mean to him and he didnt want

to

& gt; go back. It is very hard for me to keep him busy

& gt; the days that he is awake because I work at home

and

& gt; need to work during the day. I put a call into

his

& gt; doctor to see what I can do so I just have to

wait

& gt; and see what happens. Thanks.

& gt; Carol

& gt; joni_and_scott_age11

& lt;CreativeDreamR@... & gt;

& gt; wrote: Carol,

& gt; If memory serves, your son is 10 years old.

& gt; (11) was

& gt; prescribed 1 mg of Risperdal in the morning, and

1.5

& gt; at night. So

& gt; far, I haven't seen the need to follow this.

He's

& gt; fine on a half a

& gt; tab (.50) in the morning and 1 mg at night.

& gt; Your son is only taking a total of .75 mgs,

right?

& gt; I'd call his

& gt; doctor (psychiatrist) and ask him if you can go

up

& gt; on the dosage.

& gt; You should notice an immediate calming effect

with

& gt; Risperdal. If

& gt; not, your son isn't taking enough. How much does

he

& gt; weigh?

& gt;

& gt; Risperdal makes kids sleepy - thats why I only

give

& gt; a half a

& gt; tab in the morning (.50) as opposed to the

& gt; prescribed 1mg. At night,

& gt; I give him a full tab (1mg). 's doctor

& gt; encourages us to

& gt; experiment with the medication, going up or down

& gt; (gradually) to fix

& gt; the problem.

& gt;

& gt; What other medications is he taking? Does he

take

& gt; anything for the

& gt; anxiety/OCD or ADHD?

& gt;

& gt; And, what is triggering his rages? I'll bet

you'll

& gt; find a FEAR

& gt; behind each one.

& gt;

& gt; By all means vent all you like here. We all do

it,

& gt; and that's what

& gt; it's here for: to vent, get support and exchange

& gt; information.

& gt; (((hugs)))

& gt;

& gt; Your 3 year old will be fine. Granted, it is

& gt; disturbing for them,

& gt; but I'd focus on getting your 10 year old some

& gt; peace. Try to keep

& gt; them separated as much as possible. Send the 3

year

& gt; old to grandma's

& gt; house, if possible. At this age, they're cute

and

& gt; adorable and

& gt; everyone wants them!

& gt;

& gt; What is the 10 year old doing over the summer?

Is

& gt; boredom

& gt; contributing to his rages? gets NASTY in

the

& gt; summer with

& gt; nothing to do. He's my & #34;high maintaince & #34;

kid -- and

& gt; can't seem to

& gt; entertain himself like his brothers used to. It

is

& gt; CRUCIAL in the

& gt; summer to keep him busy. That's why he's in

summer

& gt; school during the

& gt; month of July, AND going away to camp for a whole

& gt; GLORIOUS week in

& gt; August. I can't wait!

& gt; Hang in there!

& gt; Joni

& gt;

& gt;

& gt;

& gt;

& gt; & gt; I dont know if we are suppose to vent out

here or

& gt; not but I am just

& gt; & gt; so totally frustrated right now. My son has

had

& gt; so many melt downs

& gt; & gt; these past few days that I actually had the

police

& gt; come here one

& gt; day

& gt; & gt; and had him sent to a time out place

overnight.

& gt; Anything I say to

& gt; & gt; him he just blows up about and starts

screaming,

& gt; calling me names,

& gt; & gt; throwing things. Is this what OCD is all

about or

& gt; is there

& gt; something

& gt; & gt; else? He has been on .25 of Risperdal three

times

& gt; a day for almost

& gt; & gt; two weeks now and I dont see any difference.

Is

& gt; there suppose to

& gt; be

& gt; & gt; a noticeable difference or what if any? I

feel

& gt; like I am going out

& gt; & gt; of my mind right now because I just can't

win.

& gt; His therapist told

& gt; me

& gt; & gt; to send him to theraputic respite for a few

days

& gt; to give him a

& gt; break

& gt; & gt; but will this really help. It will help me

get my

& gt; bearings back

& gt; but

& gt; & gt; will it really help him. I am just so not

happy

& gt; right now and I

& gt; dont

& gt; & gt; know what to do. The last time we went

through

& gt; this it almost cost

& gt; & gt; me my marriage. You see my husband is my

son's

& gt; step-dad and he does

& gt; & gt; love him very much but we have a 3 year old

that

& gt; is very affected

& gt; by

& gt; & gt; all of this. The words that come out of my

older

& gt; son's mouth come

& gt; & gt; right back out of my 3 year olds mouth. My

son's

& gt; bio father was

& gt; & gt; diagnosed bi-polar a few years ago and I

advised

& gt; my son's doctor

& gt; & gt; about this but she said that it doesnt sound

like

& gt; bi-polar to her

& gt; & gt; because he doesnt really have a down side of

& gt; depression. I don't

& gt; & gt; know where to turn anymore or who to

believe. I

& gt; really just want

& gt; my

& gt; & gt; son to get better or at least deal with life

so he

& gt; can grow and

& gt; & gt; prosper and enjoy his life. Do I really

have the

& gt; right diagnosis

& gt; for

& gt; & gt; my son???? ADHD and OCD???? Someone please

guide

& gt; me in the right

& gt; & gt; direction.

& gt; & gt; Take care,

& gt; & gt; Carol in Arizona

& gt;

& gt;

& gt;

[Guest guest]

Carol:

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I think reading the book will renew

your spirit. I don't by any means want to push my belief system on anyone here,

but in my faith, God will provide the GRACE to get you through this, and

anything else. Hugs to you, and Randi, and all.

Warmly,

in Missouri (Luke's mom)

Re: Re: Totally Frustrated

Thanks Joni. This email of yours was great. I dont know why I get teary eyed

when I read things like this. I just got the book from Amazon today - Freeing

your child from obsessive-compulsive disorder and plan on starting that tomorrow

while my son is gone.

Carol

joni_and_scott_age11 wrote:

>

> Hi Chris. Mostly the word No gets him angry and if he is bored

and I won't let him do certain things. He screams that he hates me,

it's his fault that he acts the way he does, he hates his life, he

hates living here at that kind of stuff. He was diagnosed with ADHD

in the 2nd grade. Does ADHD worsen when kids are going through

puberty?

Yes, EVERYTHING gets worse during puberty!!!

Try saying " no " in different ways. These kids are extremely

sensitive to that word (because they want to control everything)- at

least, that's been my experience with . Instead of " no " I

say, " Choose one or the other: sit in your room or playing outside

with your friends. "

Or, " Which sounds more fun to you? The Boys Club or SCHOOL? " (I

doubt he'll pick school. Or, insert some other unfavorable

activity). Another one: " Would you prefer to take out the trash, or

get a deduction in your allowance? The choice is yours. "

This gives them a feeling of empowerment and control over their

environment, and it helps them make decisions, too.

One more: " Let's look at your choices. You can either go to your

room and scream NOW, or you can do it later today and miss going to

the movie with your friend. Which do you choose? "

I have found that when I take something away from (his right to

get angry), he gets worse. So, I remind him of his choices, and to

get angry elsewhere, like in his room.

About the meltdowns. Don't allow him to regurgitate all of his

emotions all over you. Tell him to take it to his room and beat the

pillows on his bed. Go with him and show him how to do it, if that

helps. Make it fun. A punching bag is another great way for boys to

vent. Do you have a trampoline? All 3 of my sons worked out alot of

aggression on THAT wonderful invention! It was the best $200 bucks I

ever spent! Plus, it attracts kids to your house, and the playmates

keep them busy.

Last point. Make sure *YOU* remain calm during the meltdowns. If

you're losing it, he'll lose it too. Walking away is one of the best

things to do. That's hard if you work at home, but you can go to

another room and lock the door.

All kids say " I hate myself " or " I hate YOU, mom " -- never met one

yet that didn't try to work that number on us! Remind him to be

angry at *OCD* (not himself) and to 'boss it back.' Don't let him

suck you into his drama!! If you react to it, you'll make it worse.

I hope your doctor got in touch with you today about his dosage,

which In My Opinion, is too low. And Risperdal *is* a mood

stabalizer (and many bipolar as well as OCD people take it), so you

should see results when the dosage is correct.

Good luck,

Joni (just another mom - and no expert)

[Guest guest]

Thank you very much .

Carol

msmichelle wrote: Carol:

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I think reading the book will renew

your spirit. I don't by any means want to push my belief system on anyone here,

but in my faith, God will provide the GRACE to get you through this, and

anything else. Hugs to you, and Randi, and all.

Warmly,

in Missouri (Luke's mom)

Re: Re: Totally Frustrated

Thanks Joni. This email of yours was great. I dont know why I get teary eyed

when I read things like this. I just got the book from Amazon today - Freeing

your child from obsessive-compulsive disorder and plan on starting that tomorrow

while my son is gone.

Carol

joni_and_scott_age11 wrote:

>

> Hi Chris. Mostly the word No gets him angry and if he is bored

and I won't let him do certain things. He screams that he hates me,

it's his fault that he acts the way he does, he hates his life, he

hates living here at that kind of stuff. He was diagnosed with ADHD

in the 2nd grade. Does ADHD worsen when kids are going through

puberty?

Yes, EVERYTHING gets worse during puberty!!!

Try saying " no " in different ways. These kids are extremely

sensitive to that word (because they want to control everything)- at

least, that's been my experience with . Instead of " no " I

say, " Choose one or the other: sit in your room or playing outside

with your friends. "

Or, " Which sounds more fun to you? The Boys Club or SCHOOL? " (I

doubt he'll pick school. Or, insert some other unfavorable

activity). Another one: " Would you prefer to take out the trash, or

get a deduction in your allowance? The choice is yours. "

This gives them a feeling of empowerment and control over their

environment, and it helps them make decisions, too.

One more: " Let's look at your choices. You can either go to your

room and scream NOW, or you can do it later today and miss going to

the movie with your friend. Which do you choose? "

I have found that when I take something away from (his right to

get angry), he gets worse. So, I remind him of his choices, and to

get angry elsewhere, like in his room.

About the meltdowns. Don't allow him to regurgitate all of his

emotions all over you. Tell him to take it to his room and beat the

pillows on his bed. Go with him and show him how to do it, if that

helps. Make it fun. A punching bag is another great way for boys to

vent. Do you have a trampoline? All 3 of my sons worked out alot of

aggression on THAT wonderful invention! It was the best $200 bucks I

ever spent! Plus, it attracts kids to your house, and the playmates

keep them busy.

Last point. Make sure *YOU* remain calm during the meltdowns. If

you're losing it, he'll lose it too. Walking away is one of the best

things to do. That's hard if you work at home, but you can go to

another room and lock the door.

All kids say " I hate myself " or " I hate YOU, mom " -- never met one

yet that didn't try to work that number on us! Remind him to be

angry at *OCD* (not himself) and to 'boss it back.' Don't let him

suck you into his drama!! If you react to it, you'll make it worse.

I hope your doctor got in touch with you today about his dosage,

which In My Opinion, is too low. And Risperdal *is* a mood

stabalizer (and many bipolar as well as OCD people take it), so you

should see results when the dosage is correct.

Good luck,

Joni (just another mom - and no expert)

[Guest guest]

Do I really have the right diagnosis for

my son???? ADHD and OCD????

Carol,

What are his OCD issues?

I know what you are going through. I have been there

and it is rough. Our son spent time in a respite

program here 3 times, and it was really hard for him.

BUT you can't have them behaving violently AND

irrationally. I would find that leaving him alone for

a while to calm down helps. If you keep pressuring

someone who is having difficulties they just

explode.It is much more difficult for them to

function. As much as we want them to do things they

just can't. It took me a long time to understand that

and to back off. One of the things that helped was the

book The Explosive Child by Dr. Greene. Our son has

contamination issues with ocd. He could not even be in

the same room with his Dad. (who was contaminated) If

he was in the same room, when he was really ill he

would throw things at him. Since this is such a BIG

safety issue he ended up in the hospital. This was in

'97. Now he is much better. He started taking

medication and his depression and OCD got better.

Things are not 100% but they are 70%! (some days they

are 75% lol) I wanted you to know also that when he

was on risperdall he was in a stupor and had one of

his worst rages. You might want to talk to his Doc.

about what he is experiencing. Our son has a lot of

anger issues. He holds everything in and the only time

it comes out is in anger. It took us a lot of time as

a family to figure out what to do. We didn't make the

best choices as parents in dealing with him, but at

the time we didn't know what else to do. The Mom who

talked about relatives thinking the child just needed

a good spanking....don't fall for that. I hope it gets

better for your son soon. I know how hard it can be

for the family and especially the Mom. Everyone

suffers. Keep educating yourself about his behaviors

and talking to the professionals. If they don't seem

to be on the right track find someone else. Please

take care,

Vivian in WA ST

--- " momof3inaz@... "

wrote:

>

> Hi . I guess I wasn't in the right state of

> mind when I sent the email but he is on Risperdal

> every day, three times a day. I have no family here

> at all except for my mother in law who is no help to

> us at all. I have a 14 year old daugher too who

> tries to get my 3 year old out of the way during the

> outbursts. Anything I say to him today is just

> making him scream. I am at my wits end right now

> and have made plans to send him to respite for a few

> days just so I can get with the program again and

> relax for a few days.

> Carol

> Joye wrote:

> Hi Carol, While I only a Mom who happens to be one

> of the moderators on this list, I too would get in

> immediate contact with the psychiatrist to do

> something about the med situation. In a situation

> like the one you describe, don't be shy in calling

> the psychiatrist who is on call - this is an

> extremely difficult situation to be dealing with. In

> one of your other posts, you mentioned that your son

> takes risperdal 3 days a week - if that was correct,

> then maybe he should be taking it every day? I also

> would second Joni's advice about asking if the

> dosage should possibly increased. Even if your son

> is bi-polar, the risperdal may help to get him

> calmed down a bit, which is what it sounds like

> needs to happen before any other eval can be done.

> I understand your upset with having your 3 year old

> exposed to this type of behavior, and while I would

> not suggest that it is good for him/her, my own

> daughter at that age understood that her brother was

> not feeling himself and that his behavior was not

> soemthing he could help. Do you have any relatives

> that could help you out with the kids so that you

> can get a break? in Southeastern PA

> momof3inaz wrote: I dont know if we are suppose to

> vent out here or not but I am just

> so totally frustrated right now. My son has had so

> many melt downs

> these past few days that I actually had the police

> come here one day

> and had him sent to a time out place overnight.

> Anything I say to

> him he just blows up about and starts screaming,

> calling me names,

> throwing things. Is this what OCD is all about or

> is there something

> else? He has been on .25 of Risperdal three times a

> day for almost

> two weeks now and I dont see any difference. Is

> there suppose to be

> a noticeable difference or what if any? I feel like

> I am going out

> of my mind right now because I just can't win. His

> therapist told me

> to send him to theraputic respite for a few days to

> give him a break

> but will this really help. It will help me get my

> bearings back but

> will it really help him. I am just so not happy

> right now and I dont

> know what to do. The last time we went through this

> it almost cost

> me my marriage. You see my husband is my son's

> step-dad and he does

> love him very much but we have a 3 year old that is

> very affected by

> all of this. The words that come out of my older

> son's mouth come

> right back out of my 3 year olds mouth. My son's

> bio father was

> diagnosed bi-polar a few years ago and I advised my

> son's doctor

> about this but she said that it doesnt sound like

> bi-polar to her

> because he doesnt really have a down side of

> depression. I don't

> know where to turn anymore or who to believe. I

> really just want my

> son to get better or at least deal with life so he

> can grow and

> prosper and enjoy his life. Do I really have the

> right diagnosis for

> my son???? ADHD and OCD???? Someone please guide

> me in the right

> direction.

> Take care,

> Carol in Arizona

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi am am replying to this email, on your totally frustrated. I know a bit

about bipolar, I can tell you with Bipolar they have a lot of highs and low

moods. And then kids with ADHD, all meds effect kids different, I could

almost say our 10yr. old son has been on almost 12 meds throughout this

trying time.

But we finally got out of our city, and went to a near by city to a

psychiatrist, about 30 minutes a way. And he has helped our son more than any

doctor. He does not take any diagnosis from any past doctor. He starts from

point A, and also he used 2 meds when our son first started seeing him that I

had never heard of/And they worked! One was depacote, and the other Zyprexa.

And our son has been seeing this psychiatrist for about a yr. now, and he is

now on only 1 dose of Zyprexa which is given at night. We give it to him

about 6 pm. and he is asleep by 8:30pm or so. It slows their hyperactivity

down.

Our son, has problems processing info that is given to him, or taking

something from board and writing it down. He reads something, and cannot

process what he has read. So I continue to take him to private speech, and I

also got OT approved for next yr. in the 4th grade for him in his IEP. Our

son still struggles with socializing, but one of the best things I have done

yet for him was put him in Karate. It has helped tremendously.

[Guest guest]

>

> Thanks Joni. This email of yours was great. I dont know why I get

teary eyed when I read things like this. I just got the book from

Amazon today - Freeing your child from obsessive-compulsive disorder

and plan on starting that tomorrow while my son is gone.

> Carol

I'm glad it helped Carol! Most of my " parenting skill " advise came

from Parenting Classes that I took when my two older boys were around

8 and 9. Actually, 's ADHD made me seek out help. I went

to " Tough Love " classes, I read lots of basic parenting books, and

the best one was " Natural and Logical Consequences " although I can't

remember the author. The school did a 6 week class on these

practices and it was wonderful. I've also read " How To Talk So Kids

Will Listen.. " (if I have the title right). I personally think all

kids have trouble with the " no " word. But, when you add on OCD/ADHD,

or something else, it's worse.

My OCD son already has a bunch of (irrational) 'rules' in his

head: " don't breathe those germs, don't get sick, don't touch that

object, don't go upstairs without the dog, don't ever say the F word

(flu), don't cross that 'T' that way, don't get into bed without

doing this ritual, don't forget to boss back OCD, don't rush and

hurry, don't wash my hands once- wash them 20 times, don't let mom

out of your sight, and don't EVER make a mistake.....etc etc etc....

..... that when we Mom's say " Don't forget to brush your teeth or make

your bed " *KABOOM!* The meltdown from hell!

We think " What was THAT all about? " We don't realize that they've

already got a bunch of " donts " in their head. The right medication

will help this.

But, that doesn't mean we should let them slide on everything, but we

do have to cut them *some* slack. Just try to eliminate the " no's "

and the " donts " from your vocabulary and remind him of his choices.

" Sure, you can sit in front of the TV today and turn your mind into

jello, or you can go outside and get some exercise and play with your

friends and be happy. The choice is yours. "

They instinctively want to please us, so they usually choose what

makes us happy - and them happy. Try to go for the win-win

situations, where the child wins and you win too.

Keep reading, venting, and seeking info-- and don't forget to take

care of YOU!

Joni

[Guest guest]

What are his OCD issues?

My sons issues dont have to do with contamination or anything. His shoes have

to be tied so tight that you would think he loses feeling in his feet.

Everything has to be lined up in perfect order in his room before he can go to

bed at night. He doesnt like the seams on his socks. His rages are due to

frustration I would say about the simplest things. Can you see why I am so

confused about him??

Carol in Arizona

Vivian Stembridge wrote: Do I really have the right

diagnosis for

my son???? ADHD and OCD????

Carol,

What are his OCD issues?

I know what you are going through. I have been there

and it is rough. Our son spent time in a respite

program here 3 times, and it was really hard for him.

BUT you can't have them behaving violently AND

irrationally. I would find that leaving him alone for

a while to calm down helps. If you keep pressuring

someone who is having difficulties they just

explode.It is much more difficult for them to

function. As much as we want them to do things they

just can't. It took me a long time to understand that

and to back off. One of the things that helped was the

book The Explosive Child by Dr. Greene. Our son has

contamination issues with ocd. He could not even be in

the same room with his Dad. (who was contaminated) If

he was in the same room, when he was really ill he

would throw things at him. Since this is such a BIG

safety issue he ended up in the hospital. This was in

'97. Now he is much better. He started taking

medication and his depression and OCD got better.

Things are not 100% but they are 70%! (some days they

are 75% lol) I wanted you to know also that when he

was on risperdall he was in a stupor and had one of

his worst rages. You might want to talk to his Doc.

about what he is experiencing. Our son has a lot of

anger issues. He holds everything in and the only time

it comes out is in anger. It took us a lot of time as

a family to figure out what to do. We didn't make the

best choices as parents in dealing with him, but at

the time we didn't know what else to do. The Mom who

talked about relatives thinking the child just needed

a good spanking....don't fall for that. I hope it gets

better for your son soon. I know how hard it can be

for the family and especially the Mom. Everyone

suffers. Keep educating yourself about his behaviors

and talking to the professionals. If they don't seem

to be on the right track find someone else. Please

take care,

Vivian in WA ST

--- " momof3inaz@... "

wrote:

>

> Hi . I guess I wasn't in the right state of

> mind when I sent the email but he is on Risperdal

> every day, three times a day. I have no family here

> at all except for my mother in law who is no help to

> us at all. I have a 14 year old daugher too who

> tries to get my 3 year old out of the way during the

> outbursts. Anything I say to him today is just

> making him scream. I am at my wits end right now

> and have made plans to send him to respite for a few

> days just so I can get with the program again and

> relax for a few days.

> Carol

> Joye wrote:

> Hi Carol, While I only a Mom who happens to be one

> of the moderators on this list, I too would get in

> immediate contact with the psychiatrist to do

> something about the med situation. In a situation

> like the one you describe, don't be shy in calling

> the psychiatrist who is on call - this is an

> extremely difficult situation to be dealing with. In

> one of your other posts, you mentioned that your son

> takes risperdal 3 days a week - if that was correct,

> then maybe he should be taking it every day? I also

> would second Joni's advice about asking if the

> dosage should possibly increased. Even if your son

> is bi-polar, the risperdal may help to get him

> calmed down a bit, which is what it sounds like

> needs to happen before any other eval can be done.

> I understand your upset with having your 3 year old

> exposed to this type of behavior, and while I would

> not suggest that it is good for him/her, my own

> daughter at that age understood that her brother was

> not feeling himself and that his behavior was not

> soemthing he could help. Do you have any relatives

> that could help you out with the kids so that you

> can get a break? in Southeastern PA

> momof3inaz wrote: I dont know if we are suppose to

> vent out here or not but I am just

> so totally frustrated right now. My son has had so

> many melt downs

> these past few days that I actually had the police

> come here one day

> and had him sent to a time out place overnight.

> Anything I say to

> him he just blows up about and starts screaming,

> calling me names,

> throwing things. Is this what OCD is all about or

> is there something

> else? He has been on .25 of Risperdal three times a

> day for almost

> two weeks now and I dont see any difference. Is

> there suppose to be

> a noticeable difference or what if any? I feel like

> I am going out

> of my mind right now because I just can't win. His

> therapist told me

> to send him to theraputic respite for a few days to

> give him a break

> but will this really help. It will help me get my

> bearings back but

> will it really help him. I am just so not happy

> right now and I dont

> know what to do. The last time we went through this

> it almost cost

> me my marriage. You see my husband is my son's

> step-dad and he does

> love him very much but we have a 3 year old that is

> very affected by

> all of this. The words that come out of my older

> son's mouth come

> right back out of my 3 year olds mouth. My son's

> bio father was

> diagnosed bi-polar a few years ago and I advised my

> son's doctor

> about this but she said that it doesnt sound like

> bi-polar to her

> because he doesnt really have a down side of

> depression. I don't

> know where to turn anymore or who to believe. I

> really just want my

> son to get better or at least deal with life so he

> can grow and

> prosper and enjoy his life. Do I really have the

> right diagnosis for

> my son???? ADHD and OCD???? Someone please guide

> me in the right

> direction.

> Take care,

> Carol in Arizona

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Carol,

Sometimes kids can have more than their fair share of

issues gong on. Our son had just so thinking. It can

be very frustrating.........I was really glad when he

learned to tie his own shoes! We were even helping him

with things like ski boots and " other " clothing issues

when he was quite old enough to so it himself.

When they didn't feel right it became our problem!

Lables in the back of shirt and socks too. I have

bought many a shirt he picked out that went unworn

because it didn't feel right. You might like to read

the out of sync child. It has some insights on sensory

issues.

The lining up of things at night is a classic ocd

behavior. We have dealt with contamination and just so

issues for a long time. You have to be careful to not

enable our ocd sufferers cause then you can become

entrenched in their stuff and this is how the whole

family becomes invoved.

I am just a Mom who has been down this road and think

the help of a good doc and therapist are the key.

VIvian in WA ST

--- " momof3inaz@... "

wrote:

>

> What are his OCD issues?

>

> My sons issues dont have to do with contamination or

> anything. His shoes have to be tied so tight that

> you would think he loses feeling in his feet.

> Everything has to be lined up in perfect order in

> his room before he can go to bed at night. He

> doesnt like the seams on his socks. His rages are

> due to frustration I would say about the simplest

> things. Can you see why I am so confused about

> him??

> Carol in Arizona

> Vivian Stembridge wrote:

> Do I really have the right diagnosis for

> my son???? ADHD and OCD????

> Carol,

> What are his OCD issues?

> I know what you are going through. I have been there

> and it is rough. Our son spent time in a respite

> program here 3 times, and it was really hard for

> him.

> BUT you can't have them behaving violently AND

> irrationally. I would find that leaving him alone

> for

> a while to calm down helps. If you keep pressuring

> someone who is having difficulties they just

> explode.It is much more difficult for them to

> function. As much as we want them to do things they

> just can't. It took me a long time to understand

> that

> and to back off. One of the things that helped was

> the

> book The Explosive Child by Dr. Greene. Our son has

> contamination issues with ocd. He could not even be

> in

> the same room with his Dad. (who was contaminated)

> If

> he was in the same room, when he was really ill he

> would throw things at him. Since this is such a BIG

> safety issue he ended up in the hospital. This was

> in

> '97. Now he is much better. He started taking

> medication and his depression and OCD got better.

> Things are not 100% but they are 70%! (some days

> they

> are 75% lol) I wanted you to know also that when he

> was on risperdall he was in a stupor and had one of

> his worst rages. You might want to talk to his Doc.

> about what he is experiencing. Our son has a lot of

> anger issues. He holds everything in and the only

> time

> it comes out is in anger. It took us a lot of time

> as

> a family to figure out what to do. We didn't make

> the

> best choices as parents in dealing with him, but at

> the time we didn't know what else to do. The Mom who

> talked about relatives thinking the child just

> needed

> a good spanking....don't fall for that. I hope it

> gets

> better for your son soon. I know how hard it can be

> for the family and especially the Mom. Everyone

> suffers. Keep educating yourself about his behaviors

> and talking to the professionals. If they don't seem

> to be on the right track find someone else. Please

> take care,

> Vivian in WA ST

> --- " momof3inaz@... "

> wrote:

> >

> > Hi . I guess I wasn't in the right state of

> > mind when I sent the email but he is on Risperdal

> > every day, three times a day. I have no family

> here

> > at all except for my mother in law who is no help

> to

> > us at all. I have a 14 year old daugher too who

> > tries to get my 3 year old out of the way during

> the

> > outbursts. Anything I say to him today is just

> > making him scream. I am at my wits end right now

> > and have made plans to send him to respite for a

> few

> > days just so I can get with the program again and

> > relax for a few days.

> > Carol

> > Joye wrote:

> > Hi Carol, While I only a Mom who happens to be one

> > of the moderators on this list, I too would get in

> > immediate contact with the psychiatrist to do

> > something about the med situation. In a situation

> > like the one you describe, don't be shy in calling

> > the psychiatrist who is on call - this is an

> > extremely difficult situation to be dealing with.

> In

> > one of your other posts, you mentioned that your

> son

> > takes risperdal 3 days a week - if that was

> correct,

> > then maybe he should be taking it every day? I

> also

> > would second Joni's advice about asking if the

> > dosage should possibly increased. Even if your

> son

> > is bi-polar, the risperdal may help to get him

> > calmed down a bit, which is what it sounds like

> > needs to happen before any other eval can be done.

>

> > I understand your upset with having your 3 year

> old

> > exposed to this type of behavior, and while I

> would

> > not suggest that it is good for him/her, my own

> > daughter at that age understood that her brother

> was

> > not feeling himself and that his behavior was not

> > soemthing he could help. Do you have any

> relatives

> > that could help you out with the kids so that you

> > can get a break? in Southeastern PA

> > momof3inaz wrote: I dont know if we are suppose to

> > vent out here or not but I am just

> > so totally frustrated right now. My son has had

> so

> > many melt downs

> > these past few days that I actually had the police

> > come here one day

> > and had him sent to a time out place overnight.

> > Anything I say to

> > him he just blows up about and starts screaming,

> > calling me names,

> > throwing things. Is this what OCD is all about or

> > is there something

> > else? He has been on .25 of Risperdal three times

> a

> > day for almost

> > two weeks now and I dont see any difference. Is

> > there suppose to be

> > a noticeable difference or what if any? I feel

> like

> > I am going out

> > of my mind right now because I just can't win.

> His

> > therapist told me

> > to send him to theraputic respite for a few days

> to

> > give him a break

> > but will this really help. It will help me get my

> > bearings back but

> > will it really help him. I am just so not happy

> > right now and I dont

> > know what to do. The last time we went through

> this

> > it almost cost

> > me my marriage. You see my husband is my son's

> > step-dad and he does

> > love him very much but we have a 3 year old that

> is

> > very affected by

> > all of this. The words that come out of my older

> > son's mouth come

> > right back out of my 3 year olds mouth. My son's

> > bio father was

> > diagnosed bi-polar a few years ago and I advised

> my

> > son's doctor

> > about this but she said that it doesnt sound like

> > bi-polar to her

> > because he doesnt really have a down side of

> > depression. I don't

> > know where to turn anymore or who to believe. I

> > really just want my

> > son to get better or at least deal with life so he

> > can grow and

> > prosper and enjoy his life. Do I really have the

> > right diagnosis for

> > my son???? ADHD and OCD???? Someone please guide

> > me in the right

> > direction.

> > Take care,

> > Carol in Arizona

> >

> >

> >

> >