CMT and Friendships

[Guest guest]

, hi,

Oh boy do I hear you. I figure with all my 12 step background and CMT

life, friends in need come to me because they appreciate my

suggestions and advice, and lol, but the older you get, the

more " life experience " you get, so this seems to make a

person " wise " . Besides that, I feel those of us with CMT are

extremely compassionate when it comes to our non-affected " friends "

and their problems.

I have had some of the same situations you describe. It wasn't until

my Mother was so sick and dying that NO ONE was " there for me " - so,

I threw myself at the mercy of a stellar psychiatrist, where I could

go talk, be safe, get my feelings out. My " friends " would ask me

stuff like " how's your mother " , I'd reply " she's dying you know " , end

of conversation. During that year, I simply could not help " friends "

with their problems.

During that therapy process, I also discovered I had hidden strengths

that people see in me, and come to me for help. It was also there I

learned to recognize that I can only offer " limited time " for my

friends I mean, I have a life and my own needs too - so after awhile

of one particular " friend sucking me dry " , I was able to suggest she

seek professional help. I even gave her several names of qualified

individuals.

When I moved here, most of my " friends " came to visit once, that was

it. I got a few phone calls when they were " in crisis " and I would

always preface the call with " I can only talk X number of minutes " .

Guess this is where I began to set my boundaries with

particular " friends " .

I too don't talk about CMT out in the " real world " - except maybe at

the gym/pool where I am now showing non-affected persons how to get

the most from an aquatic workout - lol, it doesn't even appear I have

CMT to them.

Back to " friends " - when I had back surgery, do you think ANY of the

so called " friends " even could manage a hospital visit? Not a chance.

I came to understand they would not be able to see " their strength "

not be strong, if you know what I mean.

If your " friends " time uses too much of your time, say so, point them

to professional help or support groups. Save time for , save

time for your family. Do not allow " friends " to walk on you with

their muddy shoes.

I'm here for you, you know that I'll be home later this evening if

you want to call.

~ Gretchen

[Guest guest]

Gretchen and - Let's do it - I'm in Anaheim and feeling confident in some

of the highways -- ha! Donna B.

gfijig <GfijiG6@...> wrote: I have been thinking more about CMT and

friendships. While I have had

many girl friends, my best " friendships " have always been with men. I

also must say that since starting , I have made many wonderfull

friends, both women and men with common interests and who I can relate

to on other levels besides the CMT.

, you know I'll drink tea with you anytime!

I have often thought of taking a year " sabbatical " and traveling around

the world with the sole purpose of meeting my CMT friends (I'd meet my

12 step friends too) Between my CMT and 12 step friends, there's never

a moment to be " friendless " .

With gratitude for ALL of you,

~ Ggretchen