waxng spell...

[Guest guest]

My 13 1/2 yr old daughter just reverted to some behaviors and

phrases I have not seen and heard in a long time. She has been

almost entirely " normal " since Nov, and the panicky stuff had been

gone for even longer before that.

Last night she was all problems no solutions (so whatever I suggest

cannot work) and she was hyperventilating and saying there is no

time-that is what she always said before when panic/depression was

coming on. She also slept on the couch rather than in her room

(another old symptom). Some things have happened, she had the

stoamch flu over Easter, and missed two days of school as well due

to prolonged exhaustion. She now has severe shoulder pain, radiating

to neck,arm, chest, that I will get evaluated today, (I hope) I need

to get her to wake up.

Her shoulder gradually became less mobile over 3 days, last night

she could not sleep well b/c of pain, plus she was obsessing about

all the work she could not finish. I wonder if the pain, poor sleep,

contributes to the waxing anxiety. Her initial onset of panic, ocd,

anxiety (about two yrs ago) was accompanied by joint pains and body

aches too (fatigue is always present). They never did find a cause

through hospital bloodwork. Back then it was her fingers (visibly

swollen joints) and knees.

Another thing, she was depressed when I picked her up from school,

did not glance at her classmates, and sat alone with her head down

though her classmates were present. Last night she was saying they

all hate her. It is hard to tell if the change comes from an

internal " disturbance " or if something external triggered it, like a

classmate's remark or something. On the other hand, with 'waxing'

she could be unuusually sensitive to things she might normally

disregard.

It just seems so mysterious and frustrating that these changes can

come on so suddenly and she can snowball dowm, even with months of

fairly normal progress and behavior, plus I suspect that no

explanation will be forthcoming for her flare of physical (shoulder)

pain. I had shoulder pain that started after my last baby was born

from nursing, I thought, and it eventually developed into

costochondritis (chest wall inflamation of ribs and/or cartilage).

Severely painful when it would come on like " attacks " still it was a

rather inconclusive and not measurable diagnosis. It resolved after

3 weeks or so. I am just glad advil and heat helped in my case. I

think there is some related mechanism between stress, anxiety, and

this type inflammation. I wish I coud get an answer that would be

preventative.

Meanwhile I have to explain to her teachers why she is absent (never

easy to explain) and turn in her work if I can get her to finish it.

The other part is my husband reverts right back to blaming me,

despite her obvious progress in the past months. Maybe it is his own

anxiety about her. (I.e. " if I did not allow her to miss

school " , " if I made her come to dinner every night " , " if I did not

permit her irrational behavior " ) Uuggh. We get along fine when there

are no serious problems. He heard her crying last night and just

shuts the door, this am he asked me " did she go to school " and then

walks out without a word. A little support would be nice. I just

think he cannot accept a 'biochemical' or psychological type problem

in " his " child, it is too embarrassing or shameful. Thanks for

hearing me...

nancy grace