Re: I hate **** ******* ****!!!! (adult oriented!)

[Guest guest]

Amazing.....I went to sleep @ 8:15 or so and now I'm up again...my ice

pack melted & the head is hurting like hell. I hope I can sleep as I have to

be at an appointment by 8:00 AM tomorrow! I also have to fast and despise

that, but my RD wants to see how bad my liver is getting, as if I want to

know any more.

To answer your questions, I am married for over 12 years now to my wife,

. We dated for 8 years before we married mainly so we could have a

lot of money to put down on a house, but also because I was in the Army and

we were still young. We started dating in our Sophomore year in High School.

I have two sons who I truly am blessed with. My oldest, (9),

(but he wants to be called these days) is me, almost exactly, with the

exception that he should wind up about 5 to 8 " taller than I am. He is built

identical to me (before I became ill) with a large, spread upper body and

muscular legs. He pushes himself very hard so he can continue to excel in

football. That's where we are different....I played football because I did

alright at it and it was fun...he plays because he is dominant, having won

the MVP for his age group each year since he started at the age of 5) and he

is constantly running 2-2.5 miles every chance he gets, doing push-ups,

sit-ups, etc.... and my youngest, on (6), who is also going to be a

lot bigger than me but doesn't have the same interest in sports as

yet. He says he wants to play football next year which would make me happy,

but I wouldn't treat him any different if he didn't play. He played soccer

this year and liked it a little, but has more fun playing football with his

friends. I think scared him about football when he was younger when

playing with him as is a handful for a real good ball player, let

alone someone who never played before, but is already 5' tall and a

rock solid 104 lbs, while on doesn't run as much as or exercise

as much and weighs a good 20 pounds less. This last summer on started

to stretch and now is only 3.5 " shorter than despite the 35 month

difference between them, The Dr's estimate on to potentially see 6'4 "

plus/minus a little. Not too bad considering I topped out at 5'7 " (on a good

day) but with my back issues and such now am only 5'6 " . was 11 lbs 2

oz @ birth and on was 10 lbs 8 oz, but they delivered him 2 weeks

early due to size concerns. We have no family history pertaining to size as

my wife was adopted, so the only thing we can go by are the Dr's estimates.

Judging how they stack up next to other kids their age, they're both going

to be a bit above average, and possibly then some. Hell, my dream was always

to be 6'2 " or so, and I may get to see what I would have looked like as both

boys look a lot like me, especially who matches my pictures from when

I was young almost exactly.

Both of my sons are truly the greatest gift God could have blessed me

with. No matter how bad I feel I'm always happy to be with them, and short

of the immobilizing headaches I still try to do as much with them as I can.

on is my fishing buddy, as he always wants to go while will go,

but only when I'm going down the river in my boat. They are the one thing

that has kept me from doing anything stupid (I don't like to admit but some

pretty " hairy " thoughts have entered my mind many times since Stills started

knocking the snot out of me. I just hope I'm around long enough to raise

them right and see them succeed on their own, as I don't feel I'll live very

long.

I also have a dog " Boomer " who is a 12 year old Shepard/hound/husky mutt.

He is starting to slow down, but has been a great dog, with the exception

that he is often very aggressive towards those he doesn't know. The one

thing that saved him from the pound is that no one, including me, can harm

my kids in any physical way so long as he is around! I'll pretend like I'm

beating the kids up and that dog will attack me all out, having punctured my

skin numerous times. Other than that, he is a good dog for where we live, as

I'm in the woods (though no more than 5/8 of a mile from 2 major highways)

and we have had bear, raccoon, porcupine and other wild creatures that don't

come in the yard when he is out there, and I pity anyone who ever tries to

harm my kids when the Boom is around...they're in for an 85 pound nightmare.

I live just outside of Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania in Township.

Twp is weird as 95% of the town is like 4 miles from me....I live on

a skinny " finger " that extends along a rail line that was built by the

Lehigh Valley Railroad as their Wilkes-Barre bypass in the 1870's. Somehow

that and are tied together. If I go 1/2 of a mile up or down my

street I'm in two different towns (depending on direction) and have to go

through 2 other towns to get to downtown . If one was to look on a

map, I'm a stones throw away from Bear Creek, which is 2 miles from my door.

Fortunately both my parents and my in-laws have been fantastic to me. My

father is also like a best friend, as we were in business together for close

to 20 years, and spent 8-12 hours per day together 5 days a week for

virtually my whole career, except when I was in HS & Trade School/college.

We also drag raced for 5 years together and have quite a bit in

common....the biggest difference is that he is an Eagles fan, and I grew up

a Cowboys fan. My in-laws are fantastic, and never once have given me any

trouble due to my illness. They make me let them take my kids on Sundays

1-2x per month in the summer so I could fish in tournaments. Well, the

tournaments are over for me for now, as my body can't take 8 hours in a boat

and I don't have the spare $$$ anymore.

Thanks to everyone for the prayers, I appreciate them. I pray often, but

in my own way. I had an outstanding priest when I was an altar boy who

shaped my mind in a way not too common in the church. He explained to me

that God gives everyone many different gifts in life, and so long as you are

appreciative of them, thank God for them, admit you're a sinner & beg for

his mercy that you'll be on the right track. He knows that after he retired

I distanced myself from the church, as the messages they send around here

anymore don't sit well with me. I'm at peace with Jesus, and give him thanks

often. I do also pray for others, but rarely pray for myself. I don't know

if I'm right or wrong, but I feel " selfish " if I pray only for myself. I

trust what Father Markowski taught me, and although I hate Stills, it must

have a reason. One huge benefit from it is that I'm much more a part of my

children's' lives than I ever would have been had I still been a

work-a-holic!

I hope I didn't confuse anyone. I know many of you may be caught off

guard by this post, as I'm not one to preach very often. I tend to keep my

relationship with God & Jesus personal, but I do have a half decent

relationship in my mind, and I'm at peace with that part of my life.

Once again, thanks to everyone over the last 2 nights. I'm willing

myself to get through Thanksgiving and setting another goal to go out with

my friend to see the game on the 19th. After that, I'll bow down if I have

to, just so I don't wind up there (resort) near Christmas!!!

Goodnight (I hope...I pray I can sleep tonight!!!!) Kirk

>

> Kirk,

>

> All I can say is I understand... I really, really do... I have had so many

> surgeries on holidays, so many illnesses, and then stills.

> I lie in bed at night when the fevers are at their worse and think I'm

> going

> to explode. It is incredibly frustration.

>

> You will be in my prayers. Where do you live? Are you married? Single? I

> am married and have three dogs as children. We just moved to live closer

> to

> family because I could no longer go on without their help....neither could

> my husband. I hope you have help like that also.

>

> Hang in there.

>

>

>

> -- Re: I hate **** ******* ****!!!! (adult

> oriented!)

>

> Kirk,

> Your in my prayers

> Chris

>

> Kirk Bonanny <kbonanny@... <kbonanny%40gmail.com>> wrote:

> hmmm....i've spent two out of the last 3 turkey days in the *******

> resort....and i feel here it goes again! my headache seems like someone

> hooked up a billion watt amp and cranked up the volume...i am in agony

> with

> my back and tonight I fell down 2x. I wish I could find a ******* solution

>

> already...i can't ******* take this shit anymnore!!!

> Please...pray for me........I hate spending the holidays (2 thanksgivings,

>

> 1 Christmas & 2 Christmas eve....and 2 out of my last 3

> birthdays!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

> I hate my ***damn ******* life!!

> I appreciate it.krik

> I hope my splling is ok.....kind of hard wit double vision.

>

> --

> The only things that don't suck in life are the things that should!!!

>

>