Re: Melinda

[Guest guest]

> I am definitely not wanting this to happen.>

Melinda, I think there is not one mother on earth who does not widh it to go

away NOW.

<<<< I'm almost

> afraid to send my kids to school for the next few days

> since if something happens and they go into lockdown,

> we can't get our kids out of school. I can't imagine

> them being in school away from their parents during

> this and I would be totally freaking out not to have

> my kids with me.>

I know what you mean, here they have announced teh schools will be open as

usual.......

<< If we are going to die, I want them with

> me.>>

shshshshsh... Melinda, God willing this is not goinging to happen !!!!!!!!!

>

Fania

[Guest guest]

<<<<<<<I'm afraid I'm not much help with the situation, but I

just wanted to say that I wish we could be there to

help you with all of this.>>

and that, Melinda, is tremendous help. to have you all on my side .....

validation!

Fania

[Guest guest]

Melinda

I hope things work out well for all of you.

I know how scared you are but I also know how strong your

faith is. Hopefully, that will help you in the rough times.

When you get a chance, let us know how things are going.

I know this is a delicate situation, but I need to tell you this,

my brother has a friend whose mother was dx around the same

time as my father with lung cancer. My Dad went the chemo,

radiation, surgery route and she went the natural, mushrooms,

coral calcium, etc. way. As most of you know, my Father passed

in November. My brother just spoke to his friend last month - and his

Mother is cancer free. If it turns out Tom does have cancer, I will

get as much info as I can from my brother and forward it your way

if you are interested. Take care of Tom, yourself and the kids.

Sending prayers and good thoughts your way.

Love to all,

Dawn

Hi all,

I just wanted you all to know that I won't be able to

respond much over the next few weeks. We are having a

kind of mini-crisis here. My dh, Tom, has been dealing

with knee pain for over 2 years. He had gone to our

stupid HMO doctor who gave him anti-inflammatory meds

and sent him on his merry way. (We have to have a

referral from him to go to an orthopedic and that's

why we started with him.) He never referred him on to

the orthopedic. So he's lived on Vioxx and now Tylenol

arthritis meds to help ease the pain and make it

possible to work.

About 6 months ago, it got so bad that now it affects

his ability to walk. So we got the referral to go to

the orthopedic and he's had an x-ray, MRI, and bone

scan, and all have proven inconclusive. But, the bone

scan did show leshions on his knee, so they are not

ruling out cancer as a possibility. Those who know me

know his mom passed away in Jan. from cancer. She had

leshions in her stomach, so Tom is quite freaked out

over this. As well as I am as now he has been referred

to a tumor specialist in Washington, DC which is

almost a 2-hour drive for us. And coordinating

childcare etc. for who knows how many trips to DC and

back.

Right now it looks as if he is headed there next

Thursday. Another day without pay and who knows how

many more and you all know our financial status with

me not working. Ugh. So I am really stressed out at

the moment. He's not taking this well, and he tends to

be unbearable when he's tensed like this, so our whole

household is chaotic-which is not a good environment

for (nor the girls.)

At this point, since the pain is so bad, I'm sure

surgery is going to be a form of treatment. If it is

malignant, then we will go onto treatment for that. So

I have no clue when this will all end. I am hoping it

is soon.

I will try to post when I can and reply when I can,

but I'm afraid I am not going to be able to post as I

wish.

Melinda

[Guest guest]

----- <<<<< No cancer as of now. >>>

Thank G-d !!!

<<<<He does have what appears to be a chronic stress

fracture. This has been going on for 2 years, and

there was definitely a fracture there. >

that is certainly painful!

what is the prognosis, after rest, rest, rest ? will it heal on its own ?

Fania

[Guest guest]

Melinda

It is good to hear that Tom doesn't have anything serious going on. It's

painful, but much better than some of the possible alternatives...

I have for so long meant to return your e-mail, and was so busy with

Lindsey.

She is fine, her endoscopy was perfectly normal, so now we can blame it

entirely on her gall bladder, and get the sucker out.

You guys take care.

Love

Tammy

[Guest guest]

Tammy,

How old is Lindsey? Sorry to hear she has been in so much pain. I had many

gallbladder attacks before I figured out what was going on, no fun thats for

sure. I hope it all goes well. Barb

" Tammy \ " the owlpenguin\ " " <snowyowlstar@...> wrote:

Melinda

It is good to hear that Tom doesn't have anything serious going on. It's

painful, but much better than some of the possible alternatives...

I have for so long meant to return your e-mail, and was so busy with

Lindsey.

She is fine, her endoscopy was perfectly normal, so now we can blame it

entirely on her gall bladder, and get the sucker out.

You guys take care.

Love

Tammy

[Guest guest]

Barbara,

Lindsey is 12. FAR too young for gall bladder problems, but apparently

not... she is overweight, and has some metabolic changes that point to the

development of diabetes as well. We have put her (and the rest of us) and

the rest of us on a low fat diet, and it's helping her weight, but only time

will tell about diabetes. It runs in the family.

It isn't entirely related to diet though, because I didn't have much to

change when I was putting us on the diet- I never fry anything, and we don't

get a lot of gravies or cream sauces...

Nick is downright skinny... but we all know how that can be with our

ASpies...

Love

Tammy

[Guest guest]

Oh My Goodness, you are right too young for gallbladder problems. Does she have

stones? Hopefully they can do the lazer surgery and she will have a quick

recovery. Will keep her in my prayers. Barb

" Tammy \ " the owlpenguin\ " " <snowyowlstar@...> wrote:

Barbara,

Lindsey is 12. FAR too young for gall bladder problems, but apparently

not... she is overweight, and has some metabolic changes that point to the

development of diabetes as well. We have put her (and the rest of us) and

the rest of us on a low fat diet, and it's helping her weight, but only time

will tell about diabetes. It runs in the family.

It isn't entirely related to diet though, because I didn't have much to

change when I was putting us on the diet- I never fry anything, and we don't

get a lot of gravies or cream sauces...

Nick is downright skinny... but we all know how that can be with our

ASpies...

Love

Tammy

[Guest guest]

<<<<<<But we can at least, for now, relax that it's nothing

serious. >>

take any chance to relax, lol!! I am glad it is jsut that...

F

[Guest guest]

Melinda

I am very happy to hear that Tom doesn't have cancer.

what a relief for you and him.

Although a stress fracture is no picnic, it certianly is

better to deal with than cancer.

I am glad your trip was so much better this time.

What is promise keepers? I have heard of it before but

I can't remember. (if you don't mind)

Dawn

We made our 2nd trip to DC. No cancer as of now. He

does have what appears to be a chronic stress

fracture. This has been going on for 2 years, and

there was definitely a fracture there. So, somehow he

is supposed to rest it and not use it as much as

possible. We've been racking our brains as to how to

help him since he has to work. So no squatting. No

climbing. No on his knees. So we are relieved that

there appears to be no cancer. The doctor does want to

keep an eye on it, so he wants us back in 3 months,

and he wants it monitored for a minimum of 18 months.

I have to say that we took a different route to DC

this time. (MY directions-LOL!) Before we took one of

our friends who is a perfectionist and one of those

who have to have things " Just so. " We went around and

around and around with his directions. So I found that

Children's is just around the corner from WHC, so I

took my directions that someone gave me directions to

Children's when we took Casey, and they were so

simple. Come to find out, it was perfect and brought

us right down to choosing whether we went right to

Irving St (where WHC is), or Michigan Ave. (where

Children's is.) And we got to see the White House, the

Monument and other sites as well. So it was a much

better trip this time. And we were out within an

hour!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One of the men in our Sunday school class and who goes

to Promise Keepers with Tom was having bypass surgery

the same day, so we went and searched for his wife to

see how things were going. She was so surprised that

we came to find her, so we were able to be with her

while her husband was in surgery! So I am now aware of

where the cafeteria, the gift shop, and the surgery

places are in WHC and at least where the bathrooms are

on the ground floor of the cancer center there! LOL!

Take care for what's left of the summer! Hope you are

coping well with all this humidity!

Melinda

P.S. I will go and check out the pics!

[Guest guest]

Melinda

Yeah, ask her - I am curious to know this myself.

Dawn

As for not " seeing the autism " - ask her what autism looks like

exactly. lol. Roxanna

[Guest guest]

I read the article that led me down the road to

PDD/Asperger's, I knew that described my son to a " T " .

I have fought long and hard to get to this point and I

will not go back. Melinda

********************

OK - NOW THAT SOUNDS LIKE THE MELINDA

WE ALL KNOW AND LOVE!!!!!!

Besides, if they want a TRUE evaluation-they need to

come live at my house for a week and then tell me he

doesn't have asperger's.

**********

well, they are the experts you know, you're JUST a parent.

A parent that lives with him - all day - every day -

what could you possibly now more about than them??

Thanks for your reply. I am going to be careful. I

will hand out as many copies of the invisible

disability article as I need and then some! Melinda

**********

That sounds like a great idea.

Go get 'em

Dawn

[Guest guest]

>

> Melinda

> Yeah, ask her - I am curious to know this myself.

> Dawn

>

> As for not " seeing the autism " - ask her what autism looks like

> exactly. lol. Roxanna

>

>

>

Maybe they wear a scarlet letter " A " on their foreheads? lol.

Roxanna

[Guest guest]

Roxanna wrote:

> Maybe they wear a scarlet letter " A " on their foreheads? lol.

Or maybe they wear this:

http://www.cafeshops.com/oddizmautistry.7266083

[Guest guest]

Hi,

The school psychologist at my daughter's public kindergarten said

exactly the same thing ( " she didn't see the autism " ) to my daughter's

aide. As she was watching, the kids were busy blowing bubbles. All

the other kids were happy to jostle for position to get their wands

into the bubble soap. My daughter was asking why everyone wasn't

taking turns!

BTW, This was the only time this psych saw my child in the 4 months at

the school and was just for 30 minutes the day before the IEP. Later

on that day she asked me if she could write " a little report " . I said

no, we requested all reports be to us a week before the IEP. Then she

reached out and patted my tactile defensive daughter on the head.

[Guest guest]

> Besides, if they want a TRUE evaluation-they need to

> come live at my house for a week and then tell me he

> doesn't have asperger's.

> **********

> well, they are the experts you know, you're JUST a parent.

> A parent that lives with him - all day - every day -

> what could you possibly now more about than them??

lol, that is so true. I was at an IEP recently for someone else and

she had written a PLOP that the speddies proceeded to pooh-pooh to no

end. I wanted to scream. Well, he doesn't do that here or we've

never seen him do that...was all that they would say as if she was

making this stuff up! They saw her child 4 hours per WEEK!! And

they know more than she does? I remember when my 3 yo went out there

for services for his 4 hours per week of " intensive intervention "

(sarcasm drip alert!) and they all thought I was nuts for being

worried about Ryder as they had taught him to say " more popcorn " at

snack time. I was stunned at the time and proceeded to cry (I hate

that!) because it was their contention that he didn't need further

intervention since he could say " more popcorn. " I didn't have the

words to tell them how completely ridiculous that was. All I could

do was picture him, all dressed in a suit at age 25 standing on a

street corner saying " more popcorn. " lol. Awwww, thanks so much

for " fixing " my kid. lol.

Argh! But you know, we are only the parents. What do we know?

Roxanna

[Guest guest]

>

> > Maybe they wear a scarlet letter " A " on their foreheads? lol.

>

> Or maybe they wear this:

> http://www.cafeshops.com/oddizmautistry.7266083

Well that's interesting!

Kathy

[Guest guest]

>

> > Maybe they wear a scarlet letter " A " on their foreheads? lol.

>

> Or maybe they wear this:

> http://www.cafeshops.com/oddizmautistry.7266083

Oh my! How cute is that! Where did you find this site?

Roxanna

[Guest guest]

> Hi,

>

> The school psychologist at my daughter's public kindergarten said

> exactly the same thing ( " she didn't see the autism " ) to my

daughter's

> aide. As she was watching, the kids were busy blowing bubbles. All

> the other kids were happy to jostle for position to get their wands

> into the bubble soap. My daughter was asking why everyone wasn't

> taking turns!

>

> BTW, This was the only time this psych saw my child in the 4 months

at

> the school and was just for 30 minutes the day before the IEP.

Later

> on that day she asked me if she could write " a little report " . I

said

> no, we requested all reports be to us a week before the IEP. Then

she

> reached out and patted my tactile defensive daughter on the head.

>

>

Yep, btdt. The school psych spent all of 5 minutes observing my kid

in class and then wrote a report saying he no longer needed an aide.

I agressively argued that she had no data to back up such a statement

and it must be removed. She also watched him during a lunch period

as he played yu-gi-oh with the other kids. She then put in her

report that he had no social problems at all, interacted

appropriately with peers, etc. :::rolling eyes::: I asked her if

she knew he was selling spots to play in the yu-gi-oh games? She

kind of stutter stepped. She didn't know that. ahhhh, how

APPROPRIATE!!! not.

Roxanna

[Guest guest]

> BTW, This was the only time this psych saw my child in the 4 months

at

> the school and was just for 30 minutes the day before the IEP.

Later

> on that day she asked me if she could write " a little report " . I

said

> no, we requested all reports be to us a week before the IEP. Then

she

> reached out and patted my tactile defensive daughter on the head.

>

>

That's what they get paid the big bucks for.

Kathy (shaking her head in disbelief)

[Guest guest]

Maybe they wear a scarlet letter " A " on their foreheads? lol.

>

> Or maybe they wear this:

> http://www.cafeshops.com/oddizmautistry.7266083

<<

Oh COOOOOOOOOOOOL I used their feedback to ask if they had considered

notebooks and pens and pencils... maybe something that reminds the teachers

that our kids have autism, and not bad parenting would help? Nick would be

amused by it...

I love the site, and would love to promote autism awareness by ordering some

of these things. Maybe if we teach one person at a time, we might someday

make a difference? Maybe if our grandchildren have AS or autism, they wont'

have to fight as hard as our kids? Maybe I'm the eternal cockeyed optimist,

but I have to keep trying...

Love

Tammy

(going to bed now... WAY too heavy for Friday night with no kids in

sight...)

[Guest guest]

> > Or maybe they wear this:

> > http://www.cafeshops.com/oddizmautistry.7266083

I think it is ironic that they put this on a hooded sweatshirt...what

better choice for an aspie!! LOL! Although I don't think I would

encourage my son to wear the advertisement on his back.

Kathy

[Guest guest]

I think it is ironic that they put this on a hooded sweatshirt...what

better choice for an aspie!! LOL! Although I don't think I would

encourage my son to wear the advertisement on his back.

>>

Yeah, but i think they would sell better if they put them in TAGLESS

t-shirts... LOL...

I might actually let my kid wear one. I have found that around here, and

admittedly we live in an area where most of their parents are college

educated, once the other kids know WHY he's different, they can make

allowances, and are nicer to him. I think we're VERY lucky that way.

Love

Tammy

[Guest guest]

> Yeah, but i think they would sell better if they put them in TAGLESS

> t-shirts... LOL...

***Hahahahaha!! True, very true!!***

> I might actually let my kid wear one. I have found that around

here, and

> admittedly we live in an area where most of their parents are

college

> educated, once the other kids know WHY he's different, they can make

> allowances, and are nicer to him. I think we're VERY lucky that way.

> Love

> Tammy

***Are you still up? I thought you went to bed!! LOL!

Yes, you're right about being lucky. I have never gotten to the

point of asking that the kids be told has Asperger Syndrome

because I haven't reached the point where I am SURE it would be the

right thing to do. But it seems that him having the aide has made it

obvious to them that he has SOMETHING. I'm not in the classes, of

course, the the teachers and aide report that they treat him well

and ...God, I just completely lost my train of thought!!! LOL! I

think I'd better go to bed too!! ...oh yeah, and that they really

are amazed at how smart he is. From what I hear, they have even been

encouraging and kind to him in gym class...now THAT's a miracle. Of

course, it's not all perfect. He does get the occasional random

taunt in the halls.

So, anyway, the point is (if there IS a point!) that I wouldn't feel

comfortable with him wearing a shirt that makes a reference to autism

and stims. I'd be concerned that THAT would draw even more attention

to him and cause teasing.

Kathy

[Guest guest]

I see your point Kathy, and no I haven't gone yet, but I will be soon, trust

me.

I agree. This is why I suggested on their feedback that they also put their

logos on pencils and notebooks. More subtle, but the kids who are really

interested would see it, and the ones who ignore him might not... and the

teachers would be reminded that they are autistic, not bad... this is a big

issue for some of us.

Truthfully, I plan to buy the coffee mug. As for the t-shirt or something

else for Nick, I would let him decide. His instincts are pretty good.

Love

Tammy