Re: Anyone else's girl hate Happy Birthday?

[Guest guest]

Maybe she just hates it because everyone sings it in a different (and

off) key? It probably sounds cacophonous to her! I know I hate it for

that reason. Just my guess...

> My daughter is 5 (she'll be 6 in July) and she has always

> hated the

> Happy Birthday song and birthday's in general.

> It hasn't mattered if it was being sung for her or someone else. Her

> reaction has varied from just getting really sad, to a full blown

> tantrum.

> She has always enjoyed all the other aspects of the parties, but

> just when

> it comes time to sing happy birthday.

> The last b'day party she was invited to she wouldn't even go,

> although I

> don't know that she really understood it was going to be a 'happy

> birthday'

> party. I only told her we were going to go bounce and she just

> wouldn't go

> and kept saying she was going to stay right here.

> I let her stay home cause we were having real issues with the

> carseat and

> her staying in the seat and I figured if she didn't want to go, I

> didn't

> want to force her the whole way there even though I knew she would

> have had

> a blast at the bounce place (she has always loved bounce houses) It

> just

> wasn't worth the fight.

>

> Her sister's birthday was last Thursday and we took a small cookie

> cake to

> our Girl Scout meeting just to have a small observance of her actual

> birthday (she's having a sleep over this weekend for her official

> party with

> her friends) and again when it came time for everyone to sing happy

> birthday, got real sad. I'm guessing that something about

> this is

> just a bit too overwhelming for her, but don't really get why. Why

> that

> specific aspect... Which I guess is what we all wonder about some

> of the

> things that set our kids off huh? LOL

>

> Anyway, I had meant to tell them that we didn't need to sing it

> just maybe

> tell her instead, but it totally slipped my mind and next thing I know

> someone had started up.

>

> We have another birthday party to go to at the Bounce place this

> Sunday, and

> currently has been doing much better at wanting to go

> places again

> and behaving for the trips, so I am hopeful that she will go to

> this little

> girl's b'day party. My mom is going to help me remember to take her

> to use

> the bathroom just before they do the cake, so hopefully we can

> avoid the

> Happy Birthday part of it.

>

> Anyone else's daughter (or yourself) have this adversion to the Happy

> Birthday song? or maybe another?

>

> Theresa

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

My dd used to react the same way.

After two years of bio-med, specially chelation, she behaved great at her older

brother's b-party.I was really blown away how well she did..

So there is always hope! is 9 yo now.

Natasha

Anyone else's girl hate Happy Birthday?

My daughter is 5 (she'll be 6 in July) and she has always hated the

Happy Birthday song and birthday's in general.

It hasn't mattered if it was being sung for her or someone else. Her

reaction has varied from just getting really sad, to a full blown tantrum.

She has always enjoyed all the other aspects of the parties, but just when

it comes time to sing happy birthday.

The last b'day party she was invited to she wouldn't even go, although I

don't know that she really understood it was going to be a 'happy birthday'

party. I only told her we were going to go bounce and she just wouldn't go

and kept saying she was going to stay right here.

I let her stay home cause we were having real issues with the carseat and

her staying in the seat and I figured if she didn't want to go, I didn't

want to force her the whole way there even though I knew she would have had

a blast at the bounce place (she has always loved bounce houses) It just

wasn't worth the fight.

Her sister's birthday was last Thursday and we took a small cookie cake to

our Girl Scout meeting just to have a small observance of her actual

birthday (she's having a sleep over this weekend for her official party with

her friends) and again when it came time for everyone to sing happy

birthday, got real sad. I'm guessing that something about this is

just a bit too overwhelming for her, but don't really get why. Why that

specific aspect... Which I guess is what we all wonder about some of the

things that set our kids off huh? LOL

Anyway, I had meant to tell them that we didn't need to sing it just maybe

tell her instead, but it totally slipped my mind and next thing I know

someone had started up.

We have another birthday party to go to at the Bounce place this Sunday, and

currently has been doing much better at wanting to go places again

and behaving for the trips, so I am hopeful that she will go to this little

girl's b'day party. My mom is going to help me remember to take her to use

the bathroom just before they do the cake, so hopefully we can avoid the

Happy Birthday part of it.

Anyone else's daughter (or yourself) have this adversion to the Happy

Birthday song? or maybe another?

Theresa

[Guest guest]

My dd used to react the same way.

After two years of bio-med, specially chelation, she behaved great at her older

brother's b-party.I was really blown away how well she did..

So there is always hope! is 9 yo now.

Natasha

Anyone else's girl hate Happy Birthday?

My daughter is 5 (she'll be 6 in July) and she has always hated the

Happy Birthday song and birthday's in general.

It hasn't mattered if it was being sung for her or someone else. Her

reaction has varied from just getting really sad, to a full blown tantrum.

She has always enjoyed all the other aspects of the parties, but just when

it comes time to sing happy birthday.

The last b'day party she was invited to she wouldn't even go, although I

don't know that she really understood it was going to be a 'happy birthday'

party. I only told her we were going to go bounce and she just wouldn't go

and kept saying she was going to stay right here.

I let her stay home cause we were having real issues with the carseat and

her staying in the seat and I figured if she didn't want to go, I didn't

want to force her the whole way there even though I knew she would have had

a blast at the bounce place (she has always loved bounce houses) It just

wasn't worth the fight.

Her sister's birthday was last Thursday and we took a small cookie cake to

our Girl Scout meeting just to have a small observance of her actual

birthday (she's having a sleep over this weekend for her official party with

her friends) and again when it came time for everyone to sing happy

birthday, got real sad. I'm guessing that something about this is

just a bit too overwhelming for her, but don't really get why. Why that

specific aspect... Which I guess is what we all wonder about some of the

things that set our kids off huh? LOL

Anyway, I had meant to tell them that we didn't need to sing it just maybe

tell her instead, but it totally slipped my mind and next thing I know

someone had started up.

We have another birthday party to go to at the Bounce place this Sunday, and

currently has been doing much better at wanting to go places again

and behaving for the trips, so I am hopeful that she will go to this little

girl's b'day party. My mom is going to help me remember to take her to use

the bathroom just before they do the cake, so hopefully we can avoid the

Happy Birthday part of it.

Anyone else's daughter (or yourself) have this adversion to the Happy

Birthday song? or maybe another?

Theresa

[Guest guest]

My dd used to react the same way.

After two years of bio-med, specially chelation, she behaved great at her older

brother's b-party.I was really blown away how well she did..

So there is always hope! is 9 yo now.

Natasha

Anyone else's girl hate Happy Birthday?

My daughter is 5 (she'll be 6 in July) and she has always hated the

Happy Birthday song and birthday's in general.

It hasn't mattered if it was being sung for her or someone else. Her

reaction has varied from just getting really sad, to a full blown tantrum.

She has always enjoyed all the other aspects of the parties, but just when

it comes time to sing happy birthday.

The last b'day party she was invited to she wouldn't even go, although I

don't know that she really understood it was going to be a 'happy birthday'

party. I only told her we were going to go bounce and she just wouldn't go

and kept saying she was going to stay right here.

I let her stay home cause we were having real issues with the carseat and

her staying in the seat and I figured if she didn't want to go, I didn't

want to force her the whole way there even though I knew she would have had

a blast at the bounce place (she has always loved bounce houses) It just

wasn't worth the fight.

Her sister's birthday was last Thursday and we took a small cookie cake to

our Girl Scout meeting just to have a small observance of her actual

birthday (she's having a sleep over this weekend for her official party with

her friends) and again when it came time for everyone to sing happy

birthday, got real sad. I'm guessing that something about this is

just a bit too overwhelming for her, but don't really get why. Why that

specific aspect... Which I guess is what we all wonder about some of the

things that set our kids off huh? LOL

Anyway, I had meant to tell them that we didn't need to sing it just maybe

tell her instead, but it totally slipped my mind and next thing I know

someone had started up.

We have another birthday party to go to at the Bounce place this Sunday, and

currently has been doing much better at wanting to go places again

and behaving for the trips, so I am hopeful that she will go to this little

girl's b'day party. My mom is going to help me remember to take her to use

the bathroom just before they do the cake, so hopefully we can avoid the

Happy Birthday part of it.

Anyone else's daughter (or yourself) have this adversion to the Happy

Birthday song? or maybe another?

Theresa

[Guest guest]

Well that is perfectly understandable

Though we've not noticed this reaction when we sing other songs.

My mom used to joke that she just hated her birthday because she spent her

first birthday in the ICU, but really she was sedated and not at all aware

that it was her birthday, so I can't see that as having a lasting effect of

this type. And like I said it's not just her birthday, it's any birthday...

also doesn't matter if it's just one person or not that sings it.

Theresa

>

>

>

> Maybe she just hates it because everyone sings it in a different (and

> off) key? It probably sounds cacophonous to her! I know I hate it for

> that reason. Just my guess...

>

>

>

>

>

> > My daughter is 5 (she'll be 6 in July) and she has always

> > hated the

> > Happy Birthday song and birthday's in general.

> > It hasn't mattered if it was being sung for her or someone else. Her

> > reaction has varied from just getting really sad, to a full blown

> > tantrum.

> > She has always enjoyed all the other aspects of the parties, but

> > just when

> > it comes time to sing happy birthday.

> > The last b'day party she was invited to she wouldn't even go,

> > although I

> > don't know that she really understood it was going to be a 'happy

> > birthday'

> > party. I only told her we were going to go bounce and she just

> > wouldn't go

> > and kept saying she was going to stay right here.

> > I let her stay home cause we were having real issues with the

> > carseat and

> > her staying in the seat and I figured if she didn't want to go, I

> > didn't

> > want to force her the whole way there even though I knew she would

> > have had

> > a blast at the bounce place (she has always loved bounce houses) It

> > just

> > wasn't worth the fight.

> >

> > Her sister's birthday was last Thursday and we took a small cookie

> > cake to

> > our Girl Scout meeting just to have a small observance of her actual

> > birthday (she's having a sleep over this weekend for her official

> > party with

> > her friends) and again when it came time for everyone to sing happy

> > birthday, got real sad. I'm guessing that something about

> > this is

> > just a bit too overwhelming for her, but don't really get why. Why

> > that

> > specific aspect... Which I guess is what we all wonder about some

> > of the

> > things that set our kids off huh? LOL

> >

> > Anyway, I had meant to tell them that we didn't need to sing it

> > just maybe

> > tell her instead, but it totally slipped my mind and next thing I know

> > someone had started up.

> >

> > We have another birthday party to go to at the Bounce place this

> > Sunday, and

> > currently has been doing much better at wanting to go

> > places again

> > and behaving for the trips, so I am hopeful that she will go to

> > this little

> > girl's b'day party. My mom is going to help me remember to take her

> > to use

> > the bathroom just before they do the cake, so hopefully we can

> > avoid the

> > Happy Birthday part of it.

> >

> > Anyone else's daughter (or yourself) have this adversion to the Happy

> > Birthday song? or maybe another?

> >

> > Theresa

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Well that is perfectly understandable

Though we've not noticed this reaction when we sing other songs.

My mom used to joke that she just hated her birthday because she spent her

first birthday in the ICU, but really she was sedated and not at all aware

that it was her birthday, so I can't see that as having a lasting effect of

this type. And like I said it's not just her birthday, it's any birthday...

also doesn't matter if it's just one person or not that sings it.

Theresa

>

>

>

> Maybe she just hates it because everyone sings it in a different (and

> off) key? It probably sounds cacophonous to her! I know I hate it for

> that reason. Just my guess...

>

>

>

>

>

> > My daughter is 5 (she'll be 6 in July) and she has always

> > hated the

> > Happy Birthday song and birthday's in general.

> > It hasn't mattered if it was being sung for her or someone else. Her

> > reaction has varied from just getting really sad, to a full blown

> > tantrum.

> > She has always enjoyed all the other aspects of the parties, but

> > just when

> > it comes time to sing happy birthday.

> > The last b'day party she was invited to she wouldn't even go,

> > although I

> > don't know that she really understood it was going to be a 'happy

> > birthday'

> > party. I only told her we were going to go bounce and she just

> > wouldn't go

> > and kept saying she was going to stay right here.

> > I let her stay home cause we were having real issues with the

> > carseat and

> > her staying in the seat and I figured if she didn't want to go, I

> > didn't

> > want to force her the whole way there even though I knew she would

> > have had

> > a blast at the bounce place (she has always loved bounce houses) It

> > just

> > wasn't worth the fight.

> >

> > Her sister's birthday was last Thursday and we took a small cookie

> > cake to

> > our Girl Scout meeting just to have a small observance of her actual

> > birthday (she's having a sleep over this weekend for her official

> > party with

> > her friends) and again when it came time for everyone to sing happy

> > birthday, got real sad. I'm guessing that something about

> > this is

> > just a bit too overwhelming for her, but don't really get why. Why

> > that

> > specific aspect... Which I guess is what we all wonder about some

> > of the

> > things that set our kids off huh? LOL

> >

> > Anyway, I had meant to tell them that we didn't need to sing it

> > just maybe

> > tell her instead, but it totally slipped my mind and next thing I know

> > someone had started up.

> >

> > We have another birthday party to go to at the Bounce place this

> > Sunday, and

> > currently has been doing much better at wanting to go

> > places again

> > and behaving for the trips, so I am hopeful that she will go to

> > this little

> > girl's b'day party. My mom is going to help me remember to take her

> > to use

> > the bathroom just before they do the cake, so hopefully we can

> > avoid the

> > Happy Birthday part of it.

> >

> > Anyone else's daughter (or yourself) have this adversion to the Happy

> > Birthday song? or maybe another?

> >

> > Theresa

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Oh I'm so glad to know there is hope! It would make me sad to think that

she would never enjoy the recognition of her birthday (or want to help

others recognize theirs)

My other daughter though is the complete opposite She would love to have

a birthday week, or month! LOL She will make a point to tell people that

it's her birthday, or that it will be her birthday real soon, or it was just

her birthday last week, month etc.

Theresa

>

>

>

> My dd used to react the same way.

> After two years of bio-med, specially chelation, she behaved great at her

> older brother's b-party.I was really blown away how well she did..

> So there is always hope! is 9 yo now.

>

> Natasha

>

> Anyone else's girl hate Happy

> Birthday?

>

> My daughter is 5 (she'll be 6 in July) and she has always hated the

> Happy Birthday song and birthday's in general.

> It hasn't mattered if it was being sung for her or someone else. Her

> reaction has varied from just getting really sad, to a full blown tantrum.

> She has always enjoyed all the other aspects of the parties, but just when

> it comes time to sing happy birthday.

> The last b'day party she was invited to she wouldn't even go, although I

> don't know that she really understood it was going to be a 'happy birthday'

> party. I only told her we were going to go bounce and she just wouldn't go

> and kept saying she was going to stay right here.

> I let her stay home cause we were having real issues with the carseat and

> her staying in the seat and I figured if she didn't want to go, I didn't

> want to force her the whole way there even though I knew she would have had

> a blast at the bounce place (she has always loved bounce houses) It just

> wasn't worth the fight.

>

> Her sister's birthday was last Thursday and we took a small cookie cake to

> our Girl Scout meeting just to have a small observance of her actual

> birthday (she's having a sleep over this weekend for her official party

> with

> her friends) and again when it came time for everyone to sing happy

> birthday, got real sad. I'm guessing that something about this is

> just a bit too overwhelming for her, but don't really get why. Why that

> specific aspect... Which I guess is what we all wonder about some of the

> things that set our kids off huh? LOL

>

> Anyway, I had meant to tell them that we didn't need to sing it just maybe

> tell her instead, but it totally slipped my mind and next thing I know

> someone had started up.

>

> We have another birthday party to go to at the Bounce place this Sunday,

> and

> currently has been doing much better at wanting to go places again

> and behaving for the trips, so I am hopeful that she will go to this little

> girl's b'day party. My mom is going to help me remember to take her to use

> the bathroom just before they do the cake, so hopefully we can avoid the

> Happy Birthday part of it.

>

> Anyone else's daughter (or yourself) have this adversion to the Happy

> Birthday song? or maybe another?

>

> Theresa

>

>

[Guest guest]

Oh I'm so glad to know there is hope! It would make me sad to think that

she would never enjoy the recognition of her birthday (or want to help

others recognize theirs)

My other daughter though is the complete opposite She would love to have

a birthday week, or month! LOL She will make a point to tell people that

it's her birthday, or that it will be her birthday real soon, or it was just

her birthday last week, month etc.

Theresa

>

>

>

> My dd used to react the same way.

> After two years of bio-med, specially chelation, she behaved great at her

> older brother's b-party.I was really blown away how well she did..

> So there is always hope! is 9 yo now.

>

> Natasha

>

> Anyone else's girl hate Happy

> Birthday?

>

> My daughter is 5 (she'll be 6 in July) and she has always hated the

> Happy Birthday song and birthday's in general.

> It hasn't mattered if it was being sung for her or someone else. Her

> reaction has varied from just getting really sad, to a full blown tantrum.

> She has always enjoyed all the other aspects of the parties, but just when

> it comes time to sing happy birthday.

> The last b'day party she was invited to she wouldn't even go, although I

> don't know that she really understood it was going to be a 'happy birthday'

> party. I only told her we were going to go bounce and she just wouldn't go

> and kept saying she was going to stay right here.

> I let her stay home cause we were having real issues with the carseat and

> her staying in the seat and I figured if she didn't want to go, I didn't

> want to force her the whole way there even though I knew she would have had

> a blast at the bounce place (she has always loved bounce houses) It just

> wasn't worth the fight.

>

> Her sister's birthday was last Thursday and we took a small cookie cake to

> our Girl Scout meeting just to have a small observance of her actual

> birthday (she's having a sleep over this weekend for her official party

> with

> her friends) and again when it came time for everyone to sing happy

> birthday, got real sad. I'm guessing that something about this is

> just a bit too overwhelming for her, but don't really get why. Why that

> specific aspect... Which I guess is what we all wonder about some of the

> things that set our kids off huh? LOL

>

> Anyway, I had meant to tell them that we didn't need to sing it just maybe

> tell her instead, but it totally slipped my mind and next thing I know

> someone had started up.

>

> We have another birthday party to go to at the Bounce place this Sunday,

> and

> currently has been doing much better at wanting to go places again

> and behaving for the trips, so I am hopeful that she will go to this little

> girl's b'day party. My mom is going to help me remember to take her to use

> the bathroom just before they do the cake, so hopefully we can avoid the

> Happy Birthday part of it.

>

> Anyone else's daughter (or yourself) have this adversion to the Happy

> Birthday song? or maybe another?

>

> Theresa

>

>

[Guest guest]

theresa yes for self hate of that especially in a resturant place.... I to hate

the clappers and singers of that to an already sometimes loud eating place. or

if the place is of a calm and sort of quiet the sudden noise caused me instant

fight or flight/

but if one tries to sing it to me it causes great anxiety and panic of not

knowing what to do and not like of it.

but have found can sing of it to my grand baby without the anxiety of it all.

sondra

[Guest guest]

theresa yes for self hate of that especially in a resturant place.... I to hate

the clappers and singers of that to an already sometimes loud eating place. or

if the place is of a calm and sort of quiet the sudden noise caused me instant

fight or flight/

but if one tries to sing it to me it causes great anxiety and panic of not

knowing what to do and not like of it.

but have found can sing of it to my grand baby without the anxiety of it all.

sondra

[Guest guest]

Maybe she just hates it because everyone sings it in a different (and

off) key? It probably sounds cacophonous to her! I know I hate it for

that reason. Just my guess...

cathy that might be of the issues for me and not know of it until you words

maked it clear to me. sondra

[Guest guest]

>

> Well that is perfectly understandable

> Though we've not noticed this reaction when we sing other songs.

theresa now that you shared of this thinking I to had to think on that too and

yes not react to other songs such as at church. if we are of singing can do that

and not have the same thinking inside.. I to think it was of this list maybe not

but one mom shared that her daughter hated it because she took it literally that

she was growing up and not a little girl anymore and that literal interpretation

caused the child to panic... not saying this is of the issues but wonder if

someone triggered it by a comment she heard and then misinterpreted literally.

and cant communicate her fear to it yet.

As for self really not have anything triggering for me to know at this moment of

why this is of for me.

sondra

[Guest guest]

>

> Well that is perfectly understandable

> Though we've not noticed this reaction when we sing other songs.

theresa now that you shared of this thinking I to had to think on that too and

yes not react to other songs such as at church. if we are of singing can do that

and not have the same thinking inside.. I to think it was of this list maybe not

but one mom shared that her daughter hated it because she took it literally that

she was growing up and not a little girl anymore and that literal interpretation

caused the child to panic... not saying this is of the issues but wonder if

someone triggered it by a comment she heard and then misinterpreted literally.

and cant communicate her fear to it yet.

As for self really not have anything triggering for me to know at this moment of

why this is of for me.

sondra

[Guest guest]

>

> Well that is perfectly understandable

> Though we've not noticed this reaction when we sing other songs.

theresa now that you shared of this thinking I to had to think on that too and

yes not react to other songs such as at church. if we are of singing can do that

and not have the same thinking inside.. I to think it was of this list maybe not

but one mom shared that her daughter hated it because she took it literally that

she was growing up and not a little girl anymore and that literal interpretation

caused the child to panic... not saying this is of the issues but wonder if

someone triggered it by a comment she heard and then misinterpreted literally.

and cant communicate her fear to it yet.

As for self really not have anything triggering for me to know at this moment of

why this is of for me.

sondra

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I am new here. I have two girls, - age 11, my " typical child, (also

jokingly my high-maintenance child), and - age 9, who has ASD, mostly

non-verbal. does not have aversion to any one particular song; she just

does not like music at all, except for her obsession with Barney and other

similar videotapes. To her I think music is just noise. Music class is the one

special at school that they have difficulty getting her to go to.

, on the other hand, cannot stand the song, " You are my Sunshine " . I have

absolutely no idea why, but she has been like this since she was a baby. I

remember one time when was only like a year old and there was a TV

commercial where a mother was humming this to her baby and just started

bawling over it. I still don't understand it but apparently subconsciously she

associates it with something.

Unfortunately, " Happy Birthday " is a little harder to avoid.

> >

> > Well that is perfectly understandable

> > Though we've not noticed this reaction when we sing other songs.

>

>

> theresa now that you shared of this thinking I to had to think on that too and

yes not react to other songs such as at church. if we are of singing can do that

and not have the same thinking inside.. I to think it was of this list maybe not

but one mom shared that her daughter hated it because she took it literally that

she was growing up and not a little girl anymore and that literal interpretation

caused the child to panic... not saying this is of the issues but wonder if

someone triggered it by a comment she heard and then misinterpreted literally.

and cant communicate her fear to it yet.

>

> As for self really not have anything triggering for me to know at this moment

of why this is of for me.

> sondra

>

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I am new here. I have two girls, - age 11, my " typical child, (also

jokingly my high-maintenance child), and - age 9, who has ASD, mostly

non-verbal. does not have aversion to any one particular song; she just

does not like music at all, except for her obsession with Barney and other

similar videotapes. To her I think music is just noise. Music class is the one

special at school that they have difficulty getting her to go to.

, on the other hand, cannot stand the song, " You are my Sunshine " . I have

absolutely no idea why, but she has been like this since she was a baby. I

remember one time when was only like a year old and there was a TV

commercial where a mother was humming this to her baby and just started

bawling over it. I still don't understand it but apparently subconsciously she

associates it with something.

Unfortunately, " Happy Birthday " is a little harder to avoid.

> >

> > Well that is perfectly understandable

> > Though we've not noticed this reaction when we sing other songs.

>

>

> theresa now that you shared of this thinking I to had to think on that too and

yes not react to other songs such as at church. if we are of singing can do that

and not have the same thinking inside.. I to think it was of this list maybe not

but one mom shared that her daughter hated it because she took it literally that

she was growing up and not a little girl anymore and that literal interpretation

caused the child to panic... not saying this is of the issues but wonder if

someone triggered it by a comment she heard and then misinterpreted literally.

and cant communicate her fear to it yet.

>

> As for self really not have anything triggering for me to know at this moment

of why this is of for me.

> sondra

>

[Guest guest]

I would wonder if it is the song, itself or the dimming of lights and lighting

of candles added to the auditory stimulation of the singing. While our daughter

likes to listen to music, she hates to hear me or any family member sing.

Flickering lights make her very nervous. She has never complained about

birthdays but different kids react differently to stimulation. ~~~Aggy

________________________________

To: Autism_in_Girls_and_Women

Sent: Wednesday, April 22, 2009 10:21:28 PM

Subject: Anyone else's girl hate Happy Birthday?

My daughter is 5 (she'll be 6 in July) and she has always hated the

Happy Birthday song and birthday's in general.

It hasn't mattered if it was being sung for her or someone else. Her

reaction has varied from just getting really sad, to a full blown tantrum.

She has always enjoyed all the other aspects of the parties, but just when

it comes time to sing happy birthday.

The last b'day party she was invited to she wouldn't even go, although I

don't know that she really understood it was going to be a 'happy birthday'

party.. I only told her we were going to go bounce and she just wouldn't go

and kept saying she was going to stay right here.

I let her stay home cause we were having real issues with the carseat and

her staying in the seat and I figured if she didn't want to go, I didn't

want to force her the whole way there even though I knew she would have had

a blast at the bounce place (she has always loved bounce houses) It just

wasn't worth the fight..

Her sister's birthday was last Thursday and we took a small cookie cake to

our Girl Scout meeting just to have a small observance of her actual

birthday (she's having a sleep over this weekend for her official party with

her friends) and again when it came time for everyone to sing happy

birthday, got real sad. I'm guessing that something about this is

just a bit too overwhelming for her, but don't really get why. Why that

specific aspect... Which I guess is what we all wonder about some of the

things that set our kids off huh? LOL

Anyway, I had meant to tell them that we didn't need to sing it just maybe

tell her instead, but it totally slipped my mind and next thing I know

someone had started up.

We have another birthday party to go to at the Bounce place this Sunday, and

currently has been doing much better at wanting to go places again

and behaving for the trips, so I am hopeful that she will go to this little

girl's b'day party. My mom is going to help me remember to take her to use

the bathroom just before they do the cake, so hopefully we can avoid the

Happy Birthday part of it.

Anyone else's daughter (or yourself) have this adversion to the Happy

Birthday song? or maybe another?

Theresa

[Guest guest]

I would wonder if it is the song, itself or the dimming of lights and lighting

of candles added to the auditory stimulation of the singing. While our daughter

likes to listen to music, she hates to hear me or any family member sing.

Flickering lights make her very nervous. She has never complained about

birthdays but different kids react differently to stimulation. ~~~Aggy

________________________________

To: Autism_in_Girls_and_Women

Sent: Wednesday, April 22, 2009 10:21:28 PM

Subject: Anyone else's girl hate Happy Birthday?

My daughter is 5 (she'll be 6 in July) and she has always hated the

Happy Birthday song and birthday's in general.

It hasn't mattered if it was being sung for her or someone else. Her

reaction has varied from just getting really sad, to a full blown tantrum.

She has always enjoyed all the other aspects of the parties, but just when

it comes time to sing happy birthday.

The last b'day party she was invited to she wouldn't even go, although I

don't know that she really understood it was going to be a 'happy birthday'

party.. I only told her we were going to go bounce and she just wouldn't go

and kept saying she was going to stay right here.

I let her stay home cause we were having real issues with the carseat and

her staying in the seat and I figured if she didn't want to go, I didn't

want to force her the whole way there even though I knew she would have had

a blast at the bounce place (she has always loved bounce houses) It just

wasn't worth the fight..

Her sister's birthday was last Thursday and we took a small cookie cake to

our Girl Scout meeting just to have a small observance of her actual

birthday (she's having a sleep over this weekend for her official party with

her friends) and again when it came time for everyone to sing happy

birthday, got real sad. I'm guessing that something about this is

just a bit too overwhelming for her, but don't really get why. Why that

specific aspect... Which I guess is what we all wonder about some of the

things that set our kids off huh? LOL

Anyway, I had meant to tell them that we didn't need to sing it just maybe

tell her instead, but it totally slipped my mind and next thing I know

someone had started up.

We have another birthday party to go to at the Bounce place this Sunday, and

currently has been doing much better at wanting to go places again

and behaving for the trips, so I am hopeful that she will go to this little

girl's b'day party. My mom is going to help me remember to take her to use

the bathroom just before they do the cake, so hopefully we can avoid the

Happy Birthday part of it.

Anyone else's daughter (or yourself) have this adversion to the Happy

Birthday song? or maybe another?

Theresa

[Guest guest]

I would wonder if it is the song, itself or the dimming of lights and lighting

of candles added to the auditory stimulation of the singing. While our daughter

likes to listen to music, she hates to hear me or any family member sing.

Flickering lights make her very nervous. She has never complained about

birthdays but different kids react differently to stimulation. ~~~Aggy

________________________________

To: Autism_in_Girls_and_Women

Sent: Wednesday, April 22, 2009 10:21:28 PM

Subject: Anyone else's girl hate Happy Birthday?

My daughter is 5 (she'll be 6 in July) and she has always hated the

Happy Birthday song and birthday's in general.

It hasn't mattered if it was being sung for her or someone else. Her

reaction has varied from just getting really sad, to a full blown tantrum.

She has always enjoyed all the other aspects of the parties, but just when

it comes time to sing happy birthday.

The last b'day party she was invited to she wouldn't even go, although I

don't know that she really understood it was going to be a 'happy birthday'

party.. I only told her we were going to go bounce and she just wouldn't go

and kept saying she was going to stay right here.

I let her stay home cause we were having real issues with the carseat and

her staying in the seat and I figured if she didn't want to go, I didn't

want to force her the whole way there even though I knew she would have had

a blast at the bounce place (she has always loved bounce houses) It just

wasn't worth the fight..

Her sister's birthday was last Thursday and we took a small cookie cake to

our Girl Scout meeting just to have a small observance of her actual

birthday (she's having a sleep over this weekend for her official party with

her friends) and again when it came time for everyone to sing happy

birthday, got real sad. I'm guessing that something about this is

just a bit too overwhelming for her, but don't really get why. Why that

specific aspect... Which I guess is what we all wonder about some of the

things that set our kids off huh? LOL

Anyway, I had meant to tell them that we didn't need to sing it just maybe

tell her instead, but it totally slipped my mind and next thing I know

someone had started up.

We have another birthday party to go to at the Bounce place this Sunday, and

currently has been doing much better at wanting to go places again

and behaving for the trips, so I am hopeful that she will go to this little

girl's b'day party. My mom is going to help me remember to take her to use

the bathroom just before they do the cake, so hopefully we can avoid the

Happy Birthday part of it.

Anyone else's daughter (or yourself) have this adversion to the Happy

Birthday song? or maybe another?

Theresa

[Guest guest]

Hi Aggy,

For , it's definately the song, as we've never done the dimming of

lights for the lighting of the candles, and we've even had times with no

candles at all (such as at the Girl Scout meeting the other night) and she

has the same reaction.

We used to think she didn't want to open the presents and knew that the

Happy birthday song came just before the presents, but later figured out it

didn't matter cause it was the song, even if it's sung outside of a birthday

party. Although outside of a party she can tell me to stop it, I think in a

party setting with others she is too overwhelmed to tell us to stop it so

she just gets sad or has a meltdown.

I don't know if it's something that I should just try to help her avoid, or

if we should go ahead and still face it so that she learns that it's ok to

hear it every now and then, so that she will eventually become ok with it.

Theresa

>

>

>

> I would wonder if it is the song, itself or the dimming of lights and

> lighting of candles added to the auditory stimulation of the singing. While

> our daughter likes to listen to music, she hates to hear me or any family

> member sing. Flickering lights make her very nervous. She has never

> complained about birthdays but different kids react differently to

> stimulation. ~~~Aggy

>

> ________________________________

> From: Theresa <temans@... <temans%40gmail.com>>

> To:

Autism_in_Girls_and_Women <Autism_in_Girls_and_Women%40yahoogroup\

s.com>

> Sent: Wednesday, April 22, 2009 10:21:28 PM

> Subject: Anyone else's girl hate Happy

> Birthday?

>

> My daughter is 5 (she'll be 6 in July) and she has always hated the

> Happy Birthday song and birthday's in general.

> It hasn't mattered if it was being sung for her or someone else. Her

> reaction has varied from just getting really sad, to a full blown tantrum.

> She has always enjoyed all the other aspects of the parties, but just when

> it comes time to sing happy birthday.

> The last b'day party she was invited to she wouldn't even go, although I

> don't know that she really understood it was going to be a 'happy birthday'

> party.. I only told her we were going to go bounce and she just wouldn't go

> and kept saying she was going to stay right here.

> I let her stay home cause we were having real issues with the carseat and

> her staying in the seat and I figured if she didn't want to go, I didn't

> want to force her the whole way there even though I knew she would have had

> a blast at the bounce place (she has always loved bounce houses) It just

> wasn't worth the fight..

>

> Her sister's birthday was last Thursday and we took a small cookie cake to

> our Girl Scout meeting just to have a small observance of her actual

> birthday (she's having a sleep over this weekend for her official party

> with

> her friends) and again when it came time for everyone to sing happy

> birthday, got real sad. I'm guessing that something about this is

> just a bit too overwhelming for her, but don't really get why. Why that

> specific aspect... Which I guess is what we all wonder about some of the

> things that set our kids off huh? LOL

>

> Anyway, I had meant to tell them that we didn't need to sing it just maybe

> tell her instead, but it totally slipped my mind and next thing I know

> someone had started up.

>

> We have another birthday party to go to at the Bounce place this Sunday,

> and

> currently has been doing much better at wanting to go places again

> and behaving for the trips, so I am hopeful that she will go to this little

> girl's b'day party. My mom is going to help me remember to take her to use

> the bathroom just before they do the cake, so hopefully we can avoid the

> Happy Birthday part of it.

>

> Anyone else's daughter (or yourself) have this adversion to the Happy

> Birthday song? or maybe another?

>

> Theresa

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Aggy,

For , it's definately the song, as we've never done the dimming of

lights for the lighting of the candles, and we've even had times with no

candles at all (such as at the Girl Scout meeting the other night) and she

has the same reaction.

We used to think she didn't want to open the presents and knew that the

Happy birthday song came just before the presents, but later figured out it

didn't matter cause it was the song, even if it's sung outside of a birthday

party. Although outside of a party she can tell me to stop it, I think in a

party setting with others she is too overwhelmed to tell us to stop it so

she just gets sad or has a meltdown.

I don't know if it's something that I should just try to help her avoid, or

if we should go ahead and still face it so that she learns that it's ok to

hear it every now and then, so that she will eventually become ok with it.

Theresa

>

>

>

> I would wonder if it is the song, itself or the dimming of lights and

> lighting of candles added to the auditory stimulation of the singing. While

> our daughter likes to listen to music, she hates to hear me or any family

> member sing. Flickering lights make her very nervous. She has never

> complained about birthdays but different kids react differently to

> stimulation. ~~~Aggy

>

> ________________________________

> From: Theresa <temans@... <temans%40gmail.com>>

> To:

Autism_in_Girls_and_Women <Autism_in_Girls_and_Women%40yahoogroup\

s.com>

> Sent: Wednesday, April 22, 2009 10:21:28 PM

> Subject: Anyone else's girl hate Happy

> Birthday?

>

> My daughter is 5 (she'll be 6 in July) and she has always hated the

> Happy Birthday song and birthday's in general.

> It hasn't mattered if it was being sung for her or someone else. Her

> reaction has varied from just getting really sad, to a full blown tantrum.

> She has always enjoyed all the other aspects of the parties, but just when

> it comes time to sing happy birthday.

> The last b'day party she was invited to she wouldn't even go, although I

> don't know that she really understood it was going to be a 'happy birthday'

> party.. I only told her we were going to go bounce and she just wouldn't go

> and kept saying she was going to stay right here.

> I let her stay home cause we were having real issues with the carseat and

> her staying in the seat and I figured if she didn't want to go, I didn't

> want to force her the whole way there even though I knew she would have had

> a blast at the bounce place (she has always loved bounce houses) It just

> wasn't worth the fight..

>

> Her sister's birthday was last Thursday and we took a small cookie cake to

> our Girl Scout meeting just to have a small observance of her actual

> birthday (she's having a sleep over this weekend for her official party

> with

> her friends) and again when it came time for everyone to sing happy

> birthday, got real sad. I'm guessing that something about this is

> just a bit too overwhelming for her, but don't really get why. Why that

> specific aspect... Which I guess is what we all wonder about some of the

> things that set our kids off huh? LOL

>

> Anyway, I had meant to tell them that we didn't need to sing it just maybe

> tell her instead, but it totally slipped my mind and next thing I know

> someone had started up.

>

> We have another birthday party to go to at the Bounce place this Sunday,

> and

> currently has been doing much better at wanting to go places again

> and behaving for the trips, so I am hopeful that she will go to this little

> girl's b'day party. My mom is going to help me remember to take her to use

> the bathroom just before they do the cake, so hopefully we can avoid the

> Happy Birthday part of it.

>

> Anyone else's daughter (or yourself) have this adversion to the Happy

> Birthday song? or maybe another?

>

> Theresa

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Aggy,

For , it's definately the song, as we've never done the dimming of

lights for the lighting of the candles, and we've even had times with no

candles at all (such as at the Girl Scout meeting the other night) and she

has the same reaction.

We used to think she didn't want to open the presents and knew that the

Happy birthday song came just before the presents, but later figured out it

didn't matter cause it was the song, even if it's sung outside of a birthday

party. Although outside of a party she can tell me to stop it, I think in a

party setting with others she is too overwhelmed to tell us to stop it so

she just gets sad or has a meltdown.

I don't know if it's something that I should just try to help her avoid, or

if we should go ahead and still face it so that she learns that it's ok to

hear it every now and then, so that she will eventually become ok with it.

Theresa

>

>

>

> I would wonder if it is the song, itself or the dimming of lights and

> lighting of candles added to the auditory stimulation of the singing. While

> our daughter likes to listen to music, she hates to hear me or any family

> member sing. Flickering lights make her very nervous. She has never

> complained about birthdays but different kids react differently to

> stimulation. ~~~Aggy

>

> ________________________________

> From: Theresa <temans@... <temans%40gmail.com>>

> To:

Autism_in_Girls_and_Women <Autism_in_Girls_and_Women%40yahoogroup\

s.com>

> Sent: Wednesday, April 22, 2009 10:21:28 PM

> Subject: Anyone else's girl hate Happy

> Birthday?

>

> My daughter is 5 (she'll be 6 in July) and she has always hated the

> Happy Birthday song and birthday's in general.

> It hasn't mattered if it was being sung for her or someone else. Her

> reaction has varied from just getting really sad, to a full blown tantrum.

> She has always enjoyed all the other aspects of the parties, but just when

> it comes time to sing happy birthday.

> The last b'day party she was invited to she wouldn't even go, although I

> don't know that she really understood it was going to be a 'happy birthday'

> party.. I only told her we were going to go bounce and she just wouldn't go

> and kept saying she was going to stay right here.

> I let her stay home cause we were having real issues with the carseat and

> her staying in the seat and I figured if she didn't want to go, I didn't

> want to force her the whole way there even though I knew she would have had

> a blast at the bounce place (she has always loved bounce houses) It just

> wasn't worth the fight..

>

> Her sister's birthday was last Thursday and we took a small cookie cake to

> our Girl Scout meeting just to have a small observance of her actual

> birthday (she's having a sleep over this weekend for her official party

> with

> her friends) and again when it came time for everyone to sing happy

> birthday, got real sad. I'm guessing that something about this is

> just a bit too overwhelming for her, but don't really get why. Why that

> specific aspect... Which I guess is what we all wonder about some of the

> things that set our kids off huh? LOL

>

> Anyway, I had meant to tell them that we didn't need to sing it just maybe

> tell her instead, but it totally slipped my mind and next thing I know

> someone had started up.

>

> We have another birthday party to go to at the Bounce place this Sunday,

> and

> currently has been doing much better at wanting to go places again

> and behaving for the trips, so I am hopeful that she will go to this little

> girl's b'day party. My mom is going to help me remember to take her to use

> the bathroom just before they do the cake, so hopefully we can avoid the

> Happy Birthday part of it.

>

> Anyone else's daughter (or yourself) have this adversion to the Happy

> Birthday song? or maybe another?

>

> Theresa

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Sondra,

I do think that it's just the whole anxiety of it all for her, as it does

seem to be worse the more people there are, and one time when my other

daughter wanted the people in the resturant to sing to her, it really upset

that time. And of course at the resturant they don't sing the

original version of the song and it still upset her.

It's as if she doesn't like any birthday's at all, but I just don't know

why. My husband joked one time that maybe we should become Jehovah Witnesses

so that we'd never celebrate birthday's again. LOL

It's odd how some things can be too overwhelming for her, but other things

that you'd think would be too sensory overloading are not. Like she really

loves 4th of july (the day AFTER her birthday) because of the fireworks. We

only live a few blocks from the river that the city does their big fireworks

shows on and we always go down and watch... Even the crowds there don't

bother her as she is too involved with the fireworks and asking me 'you hear

that?' with a big smile on her face.

And we've had mixed results with parades, but usually the meltdowns were

either during the waiting portion or when it's time to go and she doesn't

want it to be over.

Dad is going to take her to a parade this Saturday, his co-worker lives

right on the parade route and he's going over to her house to watch it and

at least have the ability to take her inside if it gets to be too much for

her. I will be with Tiffanie and her friends at the hotel room for her

sleepover party.

>

>

>

> theresa yes for self hate of that especially in a resturant place.... I to

> hate the clappers and singers of that to an already sometimes loud eating

> place. or if the place is of a calm and sort of quiet the sudden noise

> caused me instant fight or flight/

>

> but if one tries to sing it to me it causes great anxiety and panic of not

> knowing what to do and not like of it.

>

> but have found can sing of it to my grand baby without the anxiety of it

> all.

> sondra

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Sondra,

I do think that it's just the whole anxiety of it all for her, as it does

seem to be worse the more people there are, and one time when my other

daughter wanted the people in the resturant to sing to her, it really upset

that time. And of course at the resturant they don't sing the

original version of the song and it still upset her.

It's as if she doesn't like any birthday's at all, but I just don't know

why. My husband joked one time that maybe we should become Jehovah Witnesses

so that we'd never celebrate birthday's again. LOL

It's odd how some things can be too overwhelming for her, but other things

that you'd think would be too sensory overloading are not. Like she really

loves 4th of july (the day AFTER her birthday) because of the fireworks. We

only live a few blocks from the river that the city does their big fireworks

shows on and we always go down and watch... Even the crowds there don't

bother her as she is too involved with the fireworks and asking me 'you hear

that?' with a big smile on her face.

And we've had mixed results with parades, but usually the meltdowns were

either during the waiting portion or when it's time to go and she doesn't

want it to be over.

Dad is going to take her to a parade this Saturday, his co-worker lives

right on the parade route and he's going over to her house to watch it and

at least have the ability to take her inside if it gets to be too much for

her. I will be with Tiffanie and her friends at the hotel room for her

sleepover party.

>

>

>

> theresa yes for self hate of that especially in a resturant place.... I to

> hate the clappers and singers of that to an already sometimes loud eating

> place. or if the place is of a calm and sort of quiet the sudden noise

> caused me instant fight or flight/

>

> but if one tries to sing it to me it causes great anxiety and panic of not

> knowing what to do and not like of it.

>

> but have found can sing of it to my grand baby without the anxiety of it

> all.

> sondra

>

>

>