Just a sad little story

[Guest guest]

I know that in the grand scheme of things, this is a very minor incident, but it

saddened me nonetheless and I wanted to share it.

Last night we went out to dinner to a family restaurant. This is a restaurant

that we go to about once every two weeks. After we sat down, our waitress came

to the table and remarked " Oh, I remember you guys. " She pointed to my autistic

daughter and continued: " I especially remember her- she was snorting crayons and

using her fork to comb her hair " . For a number of reasons, I didn't make a

scene, but said that she's autistic and does behave sometimes in ways that other

people wouldn't understand (and thank you for pointing out her inappropriate

behaviors, that's very kind of you).

I spoke with the manager today, after I had a night to collect my thoughts. I

said here's the way, in a perfect world, that she would have greeted us: " Hello

again, I'm glad to see you're back again. I remember your daughter for her

remarkable piercing blue eyes and her silly giggle. "

No, this is not the first time we've had a complete stranger make a stupid

remark or have been stared at. This just struck me as particularly insensitive

and frankly, it hurt me. Is my daughter going to have to endure this for the

rest of her life? It just breaks my heart.

Aliza

[Guest guest]

Unfortunately, I think we've all experienced something

similar. But it bothers me to no end each time we

encounter such ignorance.

I'm sorry that you went through it. I'm sure you know

that you are among other over-protective parents who

would do anything to protect our children. Keep your

chin up. There may be more of these bad incidents,

but there are also so many great moments of joy from

our children.

Zone Nguyen

--- Jeff & a Sell wrote:

> Aliza,

>

> I may be wrong about this but after reading the

> waitress' comment about your daughter, I can't help

> but wonder if something is a bit " off " with her? I

> actually feel sorry for this woman to have so little

> tact or sense of social etiquette--she really must

> embarrass herself often! Her comment was so

> incredibly insensitive that I can't help but wonder

> if she has some kind of problem herself. Anyway,

> it sounds to me that you handled yourself well and I

> think it was a good thing that you spoke with the

> manager. I'm curious...what kind of reponse did he

> give you?

>

> a

>

>

>

> Just a sad little

> story

>

>

> I know that in the grand scheme of things, this is

> a very minor incident, but it saddened me

> nonetheless and I wanted to share it.

>

> Last night we went out to dinner to a family

> restaurant. This is a restaurant that we go to about

> once every two weeks. After we sat down, our

> waitress came to the table and remarked " Oh, I

> remember you guys. " She pointed to my autistic

> daughter and continued: " I especially remember her-

> she was snorting crayons and using her fork to comb

> her hair " . For a number of reasons, I didn't make a

> scene, but said that she's autistic and does behave

> sometimes in ways that other people wouldn't

> understand (and thank you for pointing out her

> inappropriate behaviors, that's very kind of you).

>

> I spoke with the manager today, after I had a

> night to collect my thoughts. I said here's the way,

> in a perfect world, that she would have greeted us:

> " Hello again, I'm glad to see you're back again. I

> remember your daughter for her remarkable piercing

> blue eyes and her silly giggle. "

>

> No, this is not the first time we've had a

> complete stranger make a stupid remark or have been

> stared at. This just struck me as particularly

> insensitive and frankly, it hurt me. Is my daughter

> going to have to endure this for the rest of her

> life? It just breaks my heart.

>

> Aliza

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

>

>

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

>

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

Be a better Globetrotter. Get better travel answers from someone who knows.

Yahoo! Answers - Check it out.

http://answers.yahoo.com/dir/?link=list & sid=396545469

[Guest guest]

Unfortunately, I think we've all experienced something

similar. But it bothers me to no end each time we

encounter such ignorance.

I'm sorry that you went through it. I'm sure you know

that you are among other over-protective parents who

would do anything to protect our children. Keep your

chin up. There may be more of these bad incidents,

but there are also so many great moments of joy from

our children.

Zone Nguyen

--- Jeff & a Sell wrote:

> Aliza,

>

> I may be wrong about this but after reading the

> waitress' comment about your daughter, I can't help

> but wonder if something is a bit " off " with her? I

> actually feel sorry for this woman to have so little

> tact or sense of social etiquette--she really must

> embarrass herself often! Her comment was so

> incredibly insensitive that I can't help but wonder

> if she has some kind of problem herself. Anyway,

> it sounds to me that you handled yourself well and I

> think it was a good thing that you spoke with the

> manager. I'm curious...what kind of reponse did he

> give you?

>

> a

>

>

>

> Just a sad little

> story

>

>

> I know that in the grand scheme of things, this is

> a very minor incident, but it saddened me

> nonetheless and I wanted to share it.

>

> Last night we went out to dinner to a family

> restaurant. This is a restaurant that we go to about

> once every two weeks. After we sat down, our

> waitress came to the table and remarked " Oh, I

> remember you guys. " She pointed to my autistic

> daughter and continued: " I especially remember her-

> she was snorting crayons and using her fork to comb

> her hair " . For a number of reasons, I didn't make a

> scene, but said that she's autistic and does behave

> sometimes in ways that other people wouldn't

> understand (and thank you for pointing out her

> inappropriate behaviors, that's very kind of you).

>

> I spoke with the manager today, after I had a

> night to collect my thoughts. I said here's the way,

> in a perfect world, that she would have greeted us:

> " Hello again, I'm glad to see you're back again. I

> remember your daughter for her remarkable piercing

> blue eyes and her silly giggle. "

>

> No, this is not the first time we've had a

> complete stranger make a stupid remark or have been

> stared at. This just struck me as particularly

> insensitive and frankly, it hurt me. Is my daughter

> going to have to endure this for the rest of her

> life? It just breaks my heart.

>

> Aliza

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

>

>

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

>

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

Be a better Globetrotter. Get better travel answers from someone who knows.

Yahoo! Answers - Check it out.

http://answers.yahoo.com/dir/?link=list & sid=396545469

[Guest guest]

How interesting...

last night we went to Denny's and as soon as we walked in there was an older

woman - sort of young grandma looking - that could not take her eyes off of

nolan and stayed a little longer than she needed just watching him. finally she

got up and came over to our table and got close enough to nolan to let him know

she was there but didn't intrude in his space. i was impressed. she made some

comments about his eye lashes (they're about 50 feet long!!-always wasted on the

boys) and how well behaved he was. my mother said, he's non-verbal - it's a

great a new term she's learned. the woman said, yes, but sometimes those are

the worst. i thought yes, and if you make him angry, he is the worst. she's a

nursery school teacher. it was a nice, short conversation.

i guess my point is, some people do realize there's something a little

different about our kids no matter how the autism effects them. and sometimes,

we run into really nice, understanding people.

sometimes, when people give me the " what the heck is wrong with your fitting

kid lady? " look - i just smile and say welcome to the world of autism! ain't

it great! you never really know what you're gonna get! freaks them out a

little! try it sometime.

" Hall, Debrah " wrote:

I am sorry for human nature at times Aliza. How wonderful that you had

the strength to go back and educate this person on what things are really

important to focus on. Good job!

Debrah

Just a sad little story

I know that in the grand scheme of things, this is a very minor incident, but it

saddened me nonetheless and I wanted to share it.

Last night we went out to dinner to a family restaurant. This is a restaurant

that we go to about once every two weeks. After we sat down, our waitress came

to the table and remarked " Oh, I remember you guys. " She pointed to my autistic

daughter and continued: " I especially remember her- she was snorting crayons and

using her fork to comb her hair " . For a number of reasons, I didn't make a

scene, but said that she's autistic and does behave sometimes in ways that other

people wouldn't understand (and thank you for pointing out her inappropriate

behaviors, that's very kind of you).

I spoke with the manager today, after I had a night to collect my thoughts. I

said here's the way, in a perfect world, that she would have greeted us: " Hello

again, I'm glad to see you're back again. I remember your daughter for her

remarkable piercing blue eyes and her silly giggle. "

No, this is not the first time we've had a complete stranger make a stupid

remark or have been stared at. This just struck me as particularly insensitive

and frankly, it hurt me. Is my daughter going to have to endure this for the

rest of her life? It just breaks my heart.

Aliza

[Guest guest]

How interesting...

last night we went to Denny's and as soon as we walked in there was an older

woman - sort of young grandma looking - that could not take her eyes off of

nolan and stayed a little longer than she needed just watching him. finally she

got up and came over to our table and got close enough to nolan to let him know

she was there but didn't intrude in his space. i was impressed. she made some

comments about his eye lashes (they're about 50 feet long!!-always wasted on the

boys) and how well behaved he was. my mother said, he's non-verbal - it's a

great a new term she's learned. the woman said, yes, but sometimes those are

the worst. i thought yes, and if you make him angry, he is the worst. she's a

nursery school teacher. it was a nice, short conversation.

i guess my point is, some people do realize there's something a little

different about our kids no matter how the autism effects them. and sometimes,

we run into really nice, understanding people.

sometimes, when people give me the " what the heck is wrong with your fitting

kid lady? " look - i just smile and say welcome to the world of autism! ain't

it great! you never really know what you're gonna get! freaks them out a

little! try it sometime.

" Hall, Debrah " wrote:

I am sorry for human nature at times Aliza. How wonderful that you had

the strength to go back and educate this person on what things are really

important to focus on. Good job!

Debrah

Just a sad little story

I know that in the grand scheme of things, this is a very minor incident, but it

saddened me nonetheless and I wanted to share it.

Last night we went out to dinner to a family restaurant. This is a restaurant

that we go to about once every two weeks. After we sat down, our waitress came

to the table and remarked " Oh, I remember you guys. " She pointed to my autistic

daughter and continued: " I especially remember her- she was snorting crayons and

using her fork to comb her hair " . For a number of reasons, I didn't make a

scene, but said that she's autistic and does behave sometimes in ways that other

people wouldn't understand (and thank you for pointing out her inappropriate

behaviors, that's very kind of you).

I spoke with the manager today, after I had a night to collect my thoughts. I

said here's the way, in a perfect world, that she would have greeted us: " Hello

again, I'm glad to see you're back again. I remember your daughter for her

remarkable piercing blue eyes and her silly giggle. "

No, this is not the first time we've had a complete stranger make a stupid

remark or have been stared at. This just struck me as particularly insensitive

and frankly, it hurt me. Is my daughter going to have to endure this for the

rest of her life? It just breaks my heart.

Aliza

[Guest guest]

I am so sorry you had to go thru that I hope the waitress is fired--she

is representing the restaurant with her ignorance and stupidity. We get

comments on my son's appearance all the time when we are out--his behavior

is fine/nothing out of the ordinary for an almost 3 year old, but he has

albinism (and the mile long eyelashes, magnified behind his glasses--again

wasted on a boy ) Most people comment nicely, but occasionally someone

will blurt out how if he were any whiter he'd look like one of them crazy

albino folk. I comment back that it is interesting you noticed that, since

he does have ablinism--he is " albino " (not the proper term for people, but

most understood) Also asked how often I bleach his hair (at least twice a

week--I am a germophobe and dunk him in clorox)

Hang in there! Our kids will have alot more desirable charactrer than these

characters we run into.

>

> How interesting...

> last night we went to Denny's and as soon as we walked in there was an

> older woman - sort of young grandma looking - that could not take her eyes

> off of nolan and stayed a little longer than she needed just watching him.

> finally she got up and came over to our table and got close enough to nolan

> to let him know she was there but didn't intrude in his space. i was

> impressed. she made some comments about his eye lashes (they're about 50

> feet long!!-always wasted on the boys) and how well behaved he was. my

> mother said, he's non-verbal - it's a great a new term she's learned. the

> woman said, yes, but sometimes those are the worst. i thought yes, and if

> you make him angry, he is the worst. she's a nursery school teacher. it was

> a nice, short conversation.

>

> i guess my point is, some people do realize there's something a little

> different about our kids no matter how the autism effects them. and

> sometimes, we run into really nice, understanding people.

>

> sometimes, when people give me the " what the heck is wrong with your

> fitting kid lady? " look - i just smile and say welcome to the world of

> autism! ain't it great! you never really know what you're gonna get! freaks

> them out a little! try it sometime.

>

> " Hall, Debrah " <dhall@... <dhall%40monarchschool.org>>

> wrote:

> I am sorry for human nature at times Aliza. How wonderful that you had the

> strength to go back and educate this person on what things are really

> important to focus on. Good job!

>

> Debrah

>

> Just a sad little story

>

> I know that in the grand scheme of things, this is a very minor incident,

> but it saddened me nonetheless and I wanted to share it.

>

> Last night we went out to dinner to a family restaurant. This is a

> restaurant that we go to about once every two weeks. After we sat down, our

> waitress came to the table and remarked " Oh, I remember you guys. " She

> pointed to my autistic daughter and continued: " I especially remember her-

> she was snorting crayons and using her fork to comb her hair " . For a number

> of reasons, I didn't make a scene, but said that she's autistic and does

> behave sometimes in ways that other people wouldn't understand (and thank

> you for pointing out her inappropriate behaviors, that's very kind of you).

>

> I spoke with the manager today, after I had a night to collect my

> thoughts. I said here's the way, in a perfect world, that she would have

> greeted us: " Hello again, I'm glad to see you're back again. I remember your

> daughter for her remarkable piercing blue eyes and her silly giggle. "

>

> No, this is not the first time we've had a complete stranger make a stupid

> remark or have been stared at. This just struck me as particularly

> insensitive and frankly, it hurt me. Is my daughter going to have to endure

> this for the rest of her life? It just breaks my heart.

>

> Aliza

>

>

[Guest guest]

One time a man (who I happen to know is a neuro-typical father and

soccer coach) was very rudely staring, making disgusted faces at my

nephew and then loudly said to no one in particular " What is WRONG

with that kid? " (who was just doing some ordinary flapping as he got

out of the swimming pool - not bothering a soul). I went up to him

and said " Hi, he's my nephew. Did you have a question about him? "

And his face got all contorted, and he practically snorted in

disgust. He was very obviously mad that I had confronted him, and

so he didn't reply to me at all, he just turned his back.

Several people were sitting at nearby tables and chairs watching the

exchange so I said to the crowd " My nephew is autistic. Autism

affects his ability to communicate and interact socially. It also

makes him flap his hands when he's excited. Many people don't

realize but there are a whole spectrum of autistic disorders from

severe autism to Asperger's syndrome. This gentleman seems to be

very high-functioning, but it is obvious that he must also have an

autistic disorder because you can see how he is completely unable to

show proper social behavior. In many ways people like him suffer

even worse because their autism is often misinterpreted as being

just plain rude. Let's give him a hand for how well he is making it

through life in spite of his autistic behaviors! Good for you sir!

You just keep on trying! You'll get those social behaviors down

soon! One day at a time!... "

And several people at different tables did join me in clapping as

the red-faced man left the pool area. May every person who is rude

to an autistic child be properly, thoroughly and publicly

embarassed.

[Guest guest]

Priceless!!!!

Thanks to all that gave words of encouragement, I really needed them.

Aliza

Re: Just a sad little story

One time a man (who I happen to know is a neuro-typical father and

soccer coach) was very rudely staring, making disgusted faces at my

nephew and then loudly said to no one in particular " What is WRONG

with that kid? " (who was just doing some ordinary flapping as he got

out of the swimming pool - not bothering a soul). I went up to him

and said " Hi, he's my nephew. Did you have a question about him? "

And his face got all contorted, and he practically snorted in

disgust. He was very obviously mad that I had confronted him, and

so he didn't reply to me at all, he just turned his back.

Several people were sitting at nearby tables and chairs watching the

exchange so I said to the crowd " My nephew is autistic. Autism

affects his ability to communicate and interact socially. It also

makes him flap his hands when he's excited. Many people don't

realize but there are a whole spectrum of autistic disorders from

severe autism to Asperger's syndrome. This gentleman seems to be

very high-functioning, but it is obvious that he must also have an

autistic disorder because you can see how he is completely unable to

show proper social behavior. In many ways people like him suffer

even worse because their autism is often misinterpreted as being

just plain rude. Let's give him a hand for how well he is making it

through life in spite of his autistic behaviors! Good for you sir!

You just keep on trying! You'll get those social behaviors down

soon! One day at a time!... "

And several people at different tables did join me in clapping as

the red-faced man left the pool area. May every person who is rude

to an autistic child be properly, thoroughly and publicly

embarassed.