Re: Upon reflection...

[Guest guest]

Thank you for nice story.

Bev

>

> My husband told of a man in his neighborhood, Mr. Glazner. He was so obsessed

with his lawn he mowed it twice a week. His wife hated dandelions & he did too,

Craig said he would poison them, dig them, everything. He died on his riding

lawn mower. Craig was a pallbearer at his funeral. He said a few months went by

& he went with his mom to put some flowers on his grave & it was completely

covered by dandelions. He said that taught him a lot about life & not going nuts

over things that mean so little in the end.

>

> Debi

>

> -

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you for nice story.

Bev

>

> My husband told of a man in his neighborhood, Mr. Glazner. He was so obsessed

with his lawn he mowed it twice a week. His wife hated dandelions & he did too,

Craig said he would poison them, dig them, everything. He died on his riding

lawn mower. Craig was a pallbearer at his funeral. He said a few months went by

& he went with his mom to put some flowers on his grave & it was completely

covered by dandelions. He said that taught him a lot about life & not going nuts

over things that mean so little in the end.

>

> Debi

>

> -

>

[Guest guest]

Tonight, I am avoiding the lawn. Kim is going to the Art Institute next year,

she is Senior, so for today we have been work on the financial aid part of upper

education. LOL

I was about dropped over when they suggested that Kim ask her father for help in

getting a grants from where he works. I told her to ask him, so she reluctantly

agreed. He is not even willing to give us money for food, he never calls unless

we call him first, then we are just a pain to him. He told Kim a year ago, that

he did not Love her, want her or need her, I wonder what he going to do if she

asks him for help???

Bev

>

> Bev, good luck with your mowing endeavors! We live in AZ & have rocks &

> mostly desert landscape for minimal maintenance. The weeds are the biggest

> headache but we don't use any pesticides, so that means pulling the weeds &

> I also use a natural weed killing recipe of vinegar, dishsoap & dissolved

> salt in the vinegar. When the weeds are young, it kills them. You have a

> big yard though, so you'll need bigger measures.

>

> We're here for you if you want to vent about your divorce. I've been

> through it & probably others, so you're not alone.

>

> Marie

[Guest guest]

Tonight, I am avoiding the lawn. Kim is going to the Art Institute next year,

she is Senior, so for today we have been work on the financial aid part of upper

education. LOL

I was about dropped over when they suggested that Kim ask her father for help in

getting a grants from where he works. I told her to ask him, so she reluctantly

agreed. He is not even willing to give us money for food, he never calls unless

we call him first, then we are just a pain to him. He told Kim a year ago, that

he did not Love her, want her or need her, I wonder what he going to do if she

asks him for help???

Bev

>

> Bev, good luck with your mowing endeavors! We live in AZ & have rocks &

> mostly desert landscape for minimal maintenance. The weeds are the biggest

> headache but we don't use any pesticides, so that means pulling the weeds &

> I also use a natural weed killing recipe of vinegar, dishsoap & dissolved

> salt in the vinegar. When the weeds are young, it kills them. You have a

> big yard though, so you'll need bigger measures.

>

> We're here for you if you want to vent about your divorce. I've been

> through it & probably others, so you're not alone.

>

> Marie

[Guest guest]

Tonight, I am avoiding the lawn. Kim is going to the Art Institute next year,

she is Senior, so for today we have been work on the financial aid part of upper

education. LOL

I was about dropped over when they suggested that Kim ask her father for help in

getting a grants from where he works. I told her to ask him, so she reluctantly

agreed. He is not even willing to give us money for food, he never calls unless

we call him first, then we are just a pain to him. He told Kim a year ago, that

he did not Love her, want her or need her, I wonder what he going to do if she

asks him for help???

Bev

>

> Bev, good luck with your mowing endeavors! We live in AZ & have rocks &

> mostly desert landscape for minimal maintenance. The weeds are the biggest

> headache but we don't use any pesticides, so that means pulling the weeds &

> I also use a natural weed killing recipe of vinegar, dishsoap & dissolved

> salt in the vinegar. When the weeds are young, it kills them. You have a

> big yard though, so you'll need bigger measures.

>

> We're here for you if you want to vent about your divorce. I've been

> through it & probably others, so you're not alone.

>

> Marie

[Guest guest]

Bev I'm so sympathetic to Kim and to you. What horrific words. You'd

think someone would have to be just terribly broken inside to reach that level

of cruelty to any child, let alone there own.

When I was a girl my father paid $10 per week child support [seriously] and

resented every penny. When I scraped up the nerve to ask him if he'd

consider the possibility of continuing it through college to help me out, his

rant at me was so ... ok, I think I'll stop that memory now. I wasn't

surprised at his response, but had to at least try.

Is it remotely possible to arrange for an independent third party adult to

be present when she speaks to him? People are often reluctant to look bad

to outsiders in these situations. Even if he comes up with some excuse,

it might save Kim from having to endure another vicious scene?

Sandi

In a message dated 4/30/2009 8:00:37 P.M. Central Daylight Time,

bweakley@... writes:

I was about dropped over when they suggested that Kim ask her father for

help in getting a grants from where he works. I told her to ask him, so she

reluctantly agreed. He is not even willing to give us money for food, he

never calls unless we call him first, then we are just a pain to him. He told

Kim a year ago, that he did not Love her, want her or need her, I wonder

what he going to do if she asks him for help???

Bev

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[Guest guest]

Marie, I would like to make a correction, small except perhaps to me?

I am not the one who was doing the spamming/exposure. I [/sandi]

was the person who had been repeatedly spammed and exposed by another list

member and was unhappy when she wouldn't stop. I had tried to correct it

privately off-list and had no success, and only brought it forward on-list to

illustrate a point made by someone else.

:-) I really did appreciate the question mark behind my name!!!! It

makes me fairly upset to be spammed and exposed, and I try meticulously to

avoid doing so to others. I really would have hated to somehow gain the

reputation of being the one here who had done so.

Thanks! :-)

Sandi

In a message dated 4/29/2009 3:51:59 P.M. Central Daylight Time,

marie.adams@... writes:

CJ did post after the one terse email about not sending spam email with

other people's emails exposed to the world & (?) continues to

repeatedly do so in spite of being asked not to send everyone's emails

everywhere. (hope I summarized it correctly) I agree with Sondra to show

Grace with some of the direct/terse emails that are posted periodically.

Her explanation gave me insight on why some of the postings come across

that

way.

Marie

**************Access 350+ FREE radio stations anytime from anywhere on the

web. Get the Radio Toolbar!

(http://toolbar.aol.com/aolradio/download.html?ncid=emlcntusdown00000003)

[Guest guest]

Bev that is of much cruel man and while he is of hurting and ill it cannot be of

excused to treat of any child let alone hims OWN in such a way. that is of ever

so ever painful to know that Kims heart will forever be of scarred by

that.....nothing can remove those pains in this life and it is of something Kim

will have to work through off an on in life and come to terms with....

I to hope that some day he can apologize to her and then be of to allow Kim

closure to that.

sondra

[Guest guest]

thanks to bring this to the list.... as was of wondering if that was of

directed to me about the spam and was of not sure of this... and a few other

posts had of sandra or sandy to it and it caused me to wonder if they were of

about me or direced to me. I to did not associate of it to you so that makes of

sense now as forgot we do have of a here and then of me a Sondra and so

this must be of hard for the people to keep up apart as I to struggle with

keeping which penny or pennie apart in my thinking. Even still cant connect

which Penny or Pennie has the three kids and which one only has the one.

sondra

[Guest guest]

Then I'm really glad I spoke up! Sondra you are such a gentle person that

it must be easy to become overwhelmed when those of us with strong

personalities start talking so loud and fast. It probably makes it more

confusing

when I sort of leap frog in this group. My dh and I own a business, and

when business gets too much I disappear for days. Then when things slow

down, I pop up like a Jack in the box toy and start posting again about

everything I've been missing!

If it helps to keep things straight, I am the /Sandi who was raised

in Ohio [Middletown, between Cincinnati and Dayton] and moved here to

Houston after college. So we have Ohio in common too!

Thank you for being so patient. If anyone here wanted to address me or

reference me as " Sandi in Houston " to help you feel more comfortable, that

would be OK with me.

Sandi

[Allie's mom, in Houston]

In a message dated 5/1/2009 7:32:08 A.M. Central Daylight Time,

hfa2@... writes:

thanks to bring this to the list.... as was of wondering if that

was of directed to me about the spam and was of not sure of this... and a few

other posts had of sandra or sandy to it and it caused me to wonder if

they were of about me or direced to me. I to did not associate of it to you so

that makes of sense now as forgot we do have of a here and then of

me a Sondra and so this must be of hard for the people to keep up apart as

I to struggle with keeping which penny or pennie apart in my thinking. Even

still cant connect which Penny or Pennie has the three kids and which one

only has the one.

sondra

**************Access 350+ FREE radio stations anytime from anywhere on the

web. Get the Radio Toolbar!

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[Guest guest]

sandra it was of the one post i to thin from an unfamilar name and so was of

wondering if her words were directed to me as felt she was of saying that I to

be of spamming the list or somethings of that? and was of thinking not sure if

was of doing that and so could not know why the words shared that, that was of

the part that was of confusing, and such then found the person sharing that was

of referring to another not of you or me and so that maked of me calmer to it.

i to also not understood of who the person she was of referring to but that is

of okay as my memory to certain things does not get retained and other things is

of like a permanent fixture of my brain that never gets of lost to me..

sorry to hear I to think it was of you on the floods. I to fear we may be of to

get them too as we have been of rain for days now and it will still be of to

rain for much more days. Rain causes of me stress espcially if have to be of out

in it such as had to take of my aimee to work as she does not drive and needed

to care for laney so went to get of her too.... she so of staying with nana for

a few days.

sondra

[Guest guest]

Sorry on double whamming you! You were the victim & not the source of the

spamming. Next time I'll just leave out the name b/c I can't rrust my

memory. I'm glad I put the question mark after your name b/c I wasn't sure

it was the right name. Glad you sent this email to make the correction.

Again, I'm sorry about the mix up.

Marie

> Marie, I would like to make a correction, small except perhaps to me?

>

> I am not the one who was doing the spamming/exposure. I [/sandi]

> was the person who had been repeatedly spammed and exposed by another list

> member and was unhappy when she wouldn't stop. I had tried to correct it

> privately off-list and had no success, and only brought it forward on-list

> to

> illustrate a point made by someone else.

>

> :-) I really did appreciate the question mark behind my name!!!! It

> makes me fairly upset to be spammed and exposed, and I try meticulously to

> avoid doing so to others. I really would have hated to somehow gain the

> reputation of being the one here who had done so.

>

> Thanks! :-)

> Sandi

>

>

>

> In a message dated 4/29/2009 3:51:59 P.M. Central Daylight Time,

> marie.adams@... writes:

>

> CJ did post after the one terse email about not sending spam email with

> other people's emails exposed to the world & (?) continues to

> repeatedly do so in spite of being asked not to send everyone's emails

> everywhere. (hope I summarized it correctly) I agree with Sondra to show

> Grace with some of the direct/terse emails that are posted periodically.

> Her explanation gave me insight on why some of the postings come across

> that

> way.

>

> Marie

>

> **************Access 350+ FREE radio stations anytime from anywhere on the

> web. Get the Radio Toolbar!

> (http://toolbar.aol.com/aolradio/download.html?ncid=emlcntusdown00000003)

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Sorry on double whamming you! You were the victim & not the source of the

spamming. Next time I'll just leave out the name b/c I can't rrust my

memory. I'm glad I put the question mark after your name b/c I wasn't sure

it was the right name. Glad you sent this email to make the correction.

Again, I'm sorry about the mix up.

Marie

> Marie, I would like to make a correction, small except perhaps to me?

>

> I am not the one who was doing the spamming/exposure. I [/sandi]

> was the person who had been repeatedly spammed and exposed by another list

> member and was unhappy when she wouldn't stop. I had tried to correct it

> privately off-list and had no success, and only brought it forward on-list

> to

> illustrate a point made by someone else.

>

> :-) I really did appreciate the question mark behind my name!!!! It

> makes me fairly upset to be spammed and exposed, and I try meticulously to

> avoid doing so to others. I really would have hated to somehow gain the

> reputation of being the one here who had done so.

>

> Thanks! :-)

> Sandi

>

>

>

> In a message dated 4/29/2009 3:51:59 P.M. Central Daylight Time,

> marie.adams@... writes:

>

> CJ did post after the one terse email about not sending spam email with

> other people's emails exposed to the world & (?) continues to

> repeatedly do so in spite of being asked not to send everyone's emails

> everywhere. (hope I summarized it correctly) I agree with Sondra to show

> Grace with some of the direct/terse emails that are posted periodically.

> Her explanation gave me insight on why some of the postings come across

> that

> way.

>

> Marie

>

> **************Access 350+ FREE radio stations anytime from anywhere on the

> web. Get the Radio Toolbar!

> (http://toolbar.aol.com/aolradio/download.html?ncid=emlcntusdown00000003)

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Sorry on double whamming you! You were the victim & not the source of the

spamming. Next time I'll just leave out the name b/c I can't rrust my

memory. I'm glad I put the question mark after your name b/c I wasn't sure

it was the right name. Glad you sent this email to make the correction.

Again, I'm sorry about the mix up.

Marie

> Marie, I would like to make a correction, small except perhaps to me?

>

> I am not the one who was doing the spamming/exposure. I [/sandi]

> was the person who had been repeatedly spammed and exposed by another list

> member and was unhappy when she wouldn't stop. I had tried to correct it

> privately off-list and had no success, and only brought it forward on-list

> to

> illustrate a point made by someone else.

>

> :-) I really did appreciate the question mark behind my name!!!! It

> makes me fairly upset to be spammed and exposed, and I try meticulously to

> avoid doing so to others. I really would have hated to somehow gain the

> reputation of being the one here who had done so.

>

> Thanks! :-)

> Sandi

>

>

>

> In a message dated 4/29/2009 3:51:59 P.M. Central Daylight Time,

> marie.adams@... writes:

>

> CJ did post after the one terse email about not sending spam email with

> other people's emails exposed to the world & (?) continues to

> repeatedly do so in spite of being asked not to send everyone's emails

> everywhere. (hope I summarized it correctly) I agree with Sondra to show

> Grace with some of the direct/terse emails that are posted periodically.

> Her explanation gave me insight on why some of the postings come across

> that

> way.

>

> Marie

>

> **************Access 350+ FREE radio stations anytime from anywhere on the

> web. Get the Radio Toolbar!

> (http://toolbar.aol.com/aolradio/download.html?ncid=emlcntusdown00000003)

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Sandi,

Over the years he has become less and less of a social person, unless you are

referring to his family, or going to his sister parties then he in his pride and

joy especially if we are not present. I will considered the possibility that he

could be bi-polar or schizophrenic, I have seen what looked like a variety of

personalities, but it could have been head games on his part, he is extremely

manipulative. His behavior can be bizarre, but I belief it could be done for

affect of causing fear. I have no idea who we could ask, because he may not

accept them and Kim has been thinking about text messaging him, or contacting by

telephone to avoid the contact.

I will tell Kim of your suggestion, maybe her boyfriend would be a great person,

I know the time that Kim went to his mother's house about a month ago she took

her boyfriend with her and other than being somewhat embarrassed by some

situation, it was easier. Her boyfriend drove her there, so if upset she would

not have a problem driving home, and they could always could go elsewhere after

to have a change of scenery. I am not sure that even realized why she

had taken her boyfriend along, but maybe, she is really pretty shape kid!

Thank you very good suggestion!

Bev

---------------

> Bev I'm so sympathetic to Kim and to you. What horrific words. You'd

> think someone would have to be just terribly broken inside to reach that

level

> of cruelty to any child, let alone there own.

>

> When I was a girl my father paid $10 per week child support [seriously] and

> resented every penny. When I scraped up the nerve to ask him if he'd

> consider the possibility of continuing it through college to help me out, his

> rant at me was so ... ok, I think I'll stop that memory now. I wasn't

> surprised at his response, but had to at least try.

>

> Is it remotely possible to arrange for an independent third party adult to

> be present when she speaks to him? People are often reluctant to look bad

> to outsiders in these situations. Even if he comes up with some excuse,

> it might save Kim from having to endure another vicious scene?

>

> Sandi

------

> I was about dropped over when they suggested that Kim ask her father for

> help in getting a grants from where he works. I told her to ask him, so she

> reluctantly agreed. He is not even willing to give us money for food, he

> never calls unless we call him first, then we are just a pain to him. He told

> Kim a year ago, that he did not Love her, want her or need her, I wonder

> what he going to do if she asks him for help???

>

> Bev

[Guest guest]

Hi Sandi,

Over the years he has become less and less of a social person, unless you are

referring to his family, or going to his sister parties then he in his pride and

joy especially if we are not present. I will considered the possibility that he

could be bi-polar or schizophrenic, I have seen what looked like a variety of

personalities, but it could have been head games on his part, he is extremely

manipulative. His behavior can be bizarre, but I belief it could be done for

affect of causing fear. I have no idea who we could ask, because he may not

accept them and Kim has been thinking about text messaging him, or contacting by

telephone to avoid the contact.

I will tell Kim of your suggestion, maybe her boyfriend would be a great person,

I know the time that Kim went to his mother's house about a month ago she took

her boyfriend with her and other than being somewhat embarrassed by some

situation, it was easier. Her boyfriend drove her there, so if upset she would

not have a problem driving home, and they could always could go elsewhere after

to have a change of scenery. I am not sure that even realized why she

had taken her boyfriend along, but maybe, she is really pretty shape kid!

Thank you very good suggestion!

Bev

---------------

> Bev I'm so sympathetic to Kim and to you. What horrific words. You'd

> think someone would have to be just terribly broken inside to reach that

level

> of cruelty to any child, let alone there own.

>

> When I was a girl my father paid $10 per week child support [seriously] and

> resented every penny. When I scraped up the nerve to ask him if he'd

> consider the possibility of continuing it through college to help me out, his

> rant at me was so ... ok, I think I'll stop that memory now. I wasn't

> surprised at his response, but had to at least try.

>

> Is it remotely possible to arrange for an independent third party adult to

> be present when she speaks to him? People are often reluctant to look bad

> to outsiders in these situations. Even if he comes up with some excuse,

> it might save Kim from having to endure another vicious scene?

>

> Sandi

------

> I was about dropped over when they suggested that Kim ask her father for

> help in getting a grants from where he works. I told her to ask him, so she

> reluctantly agreed. He is not even willing to give us money for food, he

> never calls unless we call him first, then we are just a pain to him. He told

> Kim a year ago, that he did not Love her, want her or need her, I wonder

> what he going to do if she asks him for help???

>

> Bev

[Guest guest]

Hi Sandi,

Over the years he has become less and less of a social person, unless you are

referring to his family, or going to his sister parties then he in his pride and

joy especially if we are not present. I will considered the possibility that he

could be bi-polar or schizophrenic, I have seen what looked like a variety of

personalities, but it could have been head games on his part, he is extremely

manipulative. His behavior can be bizarre, but I belief it could be done for

affect of causing fear. I have no idea who we could ask, because he may not

accept them and Kim has been thinking about text messaging him, or contacting by

telephone to avoid the contact.

I will tell Kim of your suggestion, maybe her boyfriend would be a great person,

I know the time that Kim went to his mother's house about a month ago she took

her boyfriend with her and other than being somewhat embarrassed by some

situation, it was easier. Her boyfriend drove her there, so if upset she would

not have a problem driving home, and they could always could go elsewhere after

to have a change of scenery. I am not sure that even realized why she

had taken her boyfriend along, but maybe, she is really pretty shape kid!

Thank you very good suggestion!

Bev

---------------

> Bev I'm so sympathetic to Kim and to you. What horrific words. You'd

> think someone would have to be just terribly broken inside to reach that

level

> of cruelty to any child, let alone there own.

>

> When I was a girl my father paid $10 per week child support [seriously] and

> resented every penny. When I scraped up the nerve to ask him if he'd

> consider the possibility of continuing it through college to help me out, his

> rant at me was so ... ok, I think I'll stop that memory now. I wasn't

> surprised at his response, but had to at least try.

>

> Is it remotely possible to arrange for an independent third party adult to

> be present when she speaks to him? People are often reluctant to look bad

> to outsiders in these situations. Even if he comes up with some excuse,

> it might save Kim from having to endure another vicious scene?

>

> Sandi

------

> I was about dropped over when they suggested that Kim ask her father for

> help in getting a grants from where he works. I told her to ask him, so she

> reluctantly agreed. He is not even willing to give us money for food, he

> never calls unless we call him first, then we are just a pain to him. He told

> Kim a year ago, that he did not Love her, want her or need her, I wonder

> what he going to do if she asks him for help???

>

> Bev

[Guest guest]

Sondra,

I really do not thin he will ever see the light, because he sees himself as

doing know wrong. He is a great one for justifying everything and looking of

pity. When he has apologized in the past, e would end his apology always with,

" Now you apologize to me! " and he would usually be very strict and mean in his

voice, so in reality the the apology was nothing more than a tool to make a

person become servant to his will, just another form of manipulation.

It is sad!

Bev

---------

> Bev that is of much cruel man and while he is of hurting and ill it cannot be

of excused to treat of any child let alone hims OWN in such a way. that is of

ever so ever painful to know that Kims heart will forever be of scarred by

that.....nothing can remove those pains in this life and it is of something Kim

will have to work through off an on in life and come to terms with....

>

> I to hope that some day he can apologize to her and then be of to allow Kim

closure to that.

>

> sondra

>

[Guest guest]

***** sandra it was of the one post i to thin from an unfamilar name and

so was of wondering if her words were directed to me as felt she was of

saying that I to be of spamming the list or somethings of that? and was

of thinking not sure if was of doing that and so could not know why the

words shared that, that was of the part that was of confusing, and such

then found the person sharing that was of referring to another not of

you or me and so that maked of me calmer to it. *****

Sondra you bring up a good point. I think we all would do ourselves a big favor

if we would be careful not to personalize everything we read even if what

someone writes does remind us of ourselves.

I agree that sometimes unfamiliar names can make us suspicious of a

person's intent. We must be careful not to let our emotions carry

us away and overreact as happened recently in the group. Best to ask for an

explanation if unsure about the meaning of a post.

Judith (AS adult, daughter Dani also AS)

[Guest guest]

judith was not upset to the peson but was of confused thinking how did of my

name get attached to the so called crime LOL and not sure if it was of about me,

too me or why it came that way and so really just felt confused but did not have

of the energy to seek clarity so just ignored of it.

also to clarify was not upset to CJ at all either was of trying to seek clarity

to her words and the timing was off so it did appear that it was of direct

related to the whole of the list, so to me it just seemed logical that my need

to respond was of there, but was not angry to her at all but wanted to clarify.

yes could be of to seeked more clarity but one also needs to assure that the

words they send are of not with mixed thinking and ideas to have caused of the

responses. and if the responses come that means since you are of the sender it

is of also teh responsibility that they clarify their words , intent and such so

that misunderstands do not come/

But was not angry to CJ because she might be of a yonger mom I to not know and

know of nothing of her outside of this experience to her. but if she was of a

younger mom it can explain her thinking too because she has not reched the place

of teens and how much progress some can make from being toddlers to young adults

so not knowing of her journey did not get of a chance to seek the learning of

it.

It is of not that I to take of things personally I to just struggle learning how

to figure out where I to begin and others begin or where I to end and or they

end. it gets all intermeshed at times and so I to just be of respond but not

react. I to only react IF I to know the person is of targetting me with intent

to cause me harm and pains, or to public degrade of me then i to react. that is

of a very very rare things for me though but has happened. One such lady

appeared to do this on 3 different lists. I to finally got of brave and

confronted her on line and defend of self to her she has never did of it again

ever. that person caused of me much emotional sad and depression and fears.

Often even having of dreams of a the dark shawdow shape of a person chasing me

to kill of me.... I to knew it was of her in the dream but lacked how I to knew

because never met of her but the fear and pain in my dreams was of the same as

the person who did do of this in the real of life. I to much times still ahve

scary monster like dreams and they are of very scary to me, the more stress the

more the scary dreams. i to dream of snakes, dragons, spiders, giant pincher

bugs, tornados, losing my words, and hands,all after me or scary to me.

sondra

sondra

[Guest guest]

judith was not upset to the peson but was of confused thinking how did of my

name get attached to the so called crime LOL and not sure if it was of about me,

too me or why it came that way and so really just felt confused but did not have

of the energy to seek clarity so just ignored of it.

also to clarify was not upset to CJ at all either was of trying to seek clarity

to her words and the timing was off so it did appear that it was of direct

related to the whole of the list, so to me it just seemed logical that my need

to respond was of there, but was not angry to her at all but wanted to clarify.

yes could be of to seeked more clarity but one also needs to assure that the

words they send are of not with mixed thinking and ideas to have caused of the

responses. and if the responses come that means since you are of the sender it

is of also teh responsibility that they clarify their words , intent and such so

that misunderstands do not come/

But was not angry to CJ because she might be of a yonger mom I to not know and

know of nothing of her outside of this experience to her. but if she was of a

younger mom it can explain her thinking too because she has not reched the place

of teens and how much progress some can make from being toddlers to young adults

so not knowing of her journey did not get of a chance to seek the learning of

it.

It is of not that I to take of things personally I to just struggle learning how

to figure out where I to begin and others begin or where I to end and or they

end. it gets all intermeshed at times and so I to just be of respond but not

react. I to only react IF I to know the person is of targetting me with intent

to cause me harm and pains, or to public degrade of me then i to react. that is

of a very very rare things for me though but has happened. One such lady

appeared to do this on 3 different lists. I to finally got of brave and

confronted her on line and defend of self to her she has never did of it again

ever. that person caused of me much emotional sad and depression and fears.

Often even having of dreams of a the dark shawdow shape of a person chasing me

to kill of me.... I to knew it was of her in the dream but lacked how I to knew

because never met of her but the fear and pain in my dreams was of the same as

the person who did do of this in the real of life. I to much times still ahve

scary monster like dreams and they are of very scary to me, the more stress the

more the scary dreams. i to dream of snakes, dragons, spiders, giant pincher

bugs, tornados, losing my words, and hands,all after me or scary to me.

sondra

sondra

[Guest guest]

judith was not upset to the peson but was of confused thinking how did of my

name get attached to the so called crime LOL and not sure if it was of about me,

too me or why it came that way and so really just felt confused but did not have

of the energy to seek clarity so just ignored of it.

also to clarify was not upset to CJ at all either was of trying to seek clarity

to her words and the timing was off so it did appear that it was of direct

related to the whole of the list, so to me it just seemed logical that my need

to respond was of there, but was not angry to her at all but wanted to clarify.

yes could be of to seeked more clarity but one also needs to assure that the

words they send are of not with mixed thinking and ideas to have caused of the

responses. and if the responses come that means since you are of the sender it

is of also teh responsibility that they clarify their words , intent and such so

that misunderstands do not come/

But was not angry to CJ because she might be of a yonger mom I to not know and

know of nothing of her outside of this experience to her. but if she was of a

younger mom it can explain her thinking too because she has not reched the place

of teens and how much progress some can make from being toddlers to young adults

so not knowing of her journey did not get of a chance to seek the learning of

it.

It is of not that I to take of things personally I to just struggle learning how

to figure out where I to begin and others begin or where I to end and or they

end. it gets all intermeshed at times and so I to just be of respond but not

react. I to only react IF I to know the person is of targetting me with intent

to cause me harm and pains, or to public degrade of me then i to react. that is

of a very very rare things for me though but has happened. One such lady

appeared to do this on 3 different lists. I to finally got of brave and

confronted her on line and defend of self to her she has never did of it again

ever. that person caused of me much emotional sad and depression and fears.

Often even having of dreams of a the dark shawdow shape of a person chasing me

to kill of me.... I to knew it was of her in the dream but lacked how I to knew

because never met of her but the fear and pain in my dreams was of the same as

the person who did do of this in the real of life. I to much times still ahve

scary monster like dreams and they are of very scary to me, the more stress the

more the scary dreams. i to dream of snakes, dragons, spiders, giant pincher

bugs, tornados, losing my words, and hands,all after me or scary to me.

sondra

sondra

[Guest guest]

***** judith was not upset to the peson but was of confused thinking how did

of my name get attached to the so called crime LOL and not sure if it

was of about me, too me or why it came that way and so really just felt

confused but did not have of the energy to seek clarity so just ignored

of it. *****

I understood that Sondra, that you were not upset.  You made a good point that

reminded me that it would do all of us good to be extra careful about not taking

things personal, that's all.

***** also to clarify was not upset to CJ at all either was of trying to seek

clarity to her words and the timing was off so it did appear that it

was of direct related to the whole of the list, so to me it just seemed

logical that my need to respond was of there, but was not angry to her

at all but wanted to clarify. *****

I noticed that you were very mature in how you handled your feelings Sondra.. 

You were confused yet you reserved blame and exercised grace.

***** yes could be of to seeked more clarity but one also needs to assure

that the words they send are of not with mixed thinking and ideas to

have caused of the responses. and if the responses come that means

since you are of the sender it is of also teh responsibility that they

clarify their words , intent and such so that misunderstands do not

come *****

I think this is a " two way street " .  The writer has a responsibility to be

clear.  The reader also has a responsibility to read carefully with an open mind

so that they do not misunderstand. 

The post you talk about (CJ?) was not a problem for me.  I understood what she

was trying to say and read the message in a general way.  It sounded like she

was ranting about an issue that bothered her, not referring to anybody in

particular.

I also think I understand why some people took the post very personally.  I

noticed that the topic was cross-posted to other AS listservs and no one who

responded got upset at all.  Different people have different reactions to things

sometimes.

Judith (AS adult, daughter Dani also AS)

[Guest guest]

judith thanks to understand of my words of what was of trying to communiate,

also it is of good to see more people of spectrum here.

sondra

[Guest guest]

My verbal interactions are often at 100 miles an hour...usually to the cut off

of those doing less or sometimes more.

 

Resently, my other half called me out on this and was very irritated to say the

least.

 

I don't know how to slow my thoughts and thus there is little I can do to slow

my speech. It it is in my head, it is out of my mouth...even before I can

arrange it to make sence.

 

I trust that I am improving...but when I get excited...I can not stop myself...I

run over every conversation unintentionally and leave people to walk away or

wait for an opening.

 

I hope CJ can understand those of us who have to do a high speed and respond

impulsivly inspite of reason or reflection.

 

http://speakup.today.com

Subject: Re: Upon reflection...

To: Autism_in_Girls_and_Women

Date: Tuesday, April 28, 2009, 7:33 PM

marie does this mean the CJ is of spectrum as tried of to find words that

referenced she was of to disclose of it but not finded of them? this would be of

to explain much as far as a huge gap of social and communication goes?

sometimes metaphorically traffic can be of smooth flowing and then all the

sudden this car merges in ,racing and weaves and causes a crash and fire and no

one was even aware the car was of there it just suddenly came like a rush of

wind/ and everyone is of so busy getting out of the way that it creates this

huge chaos that was once calm traffic. and then people pull over and wonder what

just happened and then later find that we were of going the speed limit but teh

new one come thinking the traffic speed was of 65 in a 35 zone because she was

of already driving 60 on the high way and forget to adjust her speed. it was not

with intent but because the social boundary and awareness was not clear to the

new person who merged in.

now that all are of aware lets be of to say okay do over. lets of all go 35 or

lets all to get to the highway where we can do of 65.

we do not need to redo of the words,,, but redo of the repairing of the

interactions and begin of back and forth respects.

I to hope it is of okay to post of my metaphorical thinking to this.

My kids with Aspergers often plowed over everyone metaphorially when they tried

to interact or join in an already flowing back and forth of words. they did not

do it with intent to be of rude or cause offence it just happens because they

lacked a better way to communicate of their thinking or how to socially enter

the groups.

sondra