MTX

[Guest guest]

Dear, Dear Ellen,

I thought I was the only one who freaked out totally when I found out that I

was supposed to go on mtx. I must have stared at the prescription for a week

before getting it filled. I have a cousin who I don't have much of a

relationship with who is a head of a hospital in Omaha NE who used to do major

research in cancer and called him. I called a nephew who's a doctor in Jersey

about it too. The idea of going on a chemo drug that would have many of the

same

symptoms for me, I don't know - it just seemed like too much to endure. Even

after both my nephew and cousin reassured me that it's used all the time for

arthritis and works really well, I still didn't fill the script.

It was only after talking to all of us dragon slayers and being told that it

helped them that I finally broke down and filled the script and began to

take it. That was 9 years ago.

My thoughts and prayers are with you darlin. You are always in them, but I

added extra's for today.

Carole

P.S. Shabbot Shalom

In a message dated 3/14/2008 10:17:27 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

zovtic@... writes:

I feel like I've been hiding from the world but it's been a much

needed hiatus. I know I've missed a great deal and will catch up

soon but for now, I still need to rest a little longer.

For all the new kids on the block, welcome. You've found a wonderful

family to call your own, a kin to a special " club " where you're

understood. It's a wonderful place to be though I'm sorry you had to

seek us out.

Now onto the latest news. I've seen the new Rheumatologist just this

morning and received some very interesting reports. I never knew my

SED rate was so inaccurate due to sitting in the labs before being

processed so it only showed my inflammation to be a 5. Personally, I

thought that was a great number, just wasn't aware that it wasn't

correct. Then I learned about CRP (C Reactive Protein) which was

1.85 and a more accurate read of the inflammation. Now I understand

why I'm hurting so badly. Wait, it gets more interesting.

So my Vitamin D is dangerously low, who would've thought since I live

in Florida and I'm constantly outside in the sun, therefore I have to

take that (50,000 iu) twice a week along with folic acid (every

day). I'll be cutting down on the prednisone too (happy is the day!).

And why do I get to lower the prednisone you might ask? This is

where it gets dicey. The one drug I've been so addiment about is the

one drug I HAVE to take...MTX! I had a crying fit right in the

doctor's office (something I never do), and began to yell (something

else I never do)! Then, once I calmed down and got hold of myself

the doctor explained.

Due to allergies to Sulfa drugs and a number of other drugs I'm not a

candidate for many of the injectables. The least of the evils is the

MTX and most probably the one more suited for my situation.

I left the doctor, went to my chiropractor, ran a few errands

including filling my scripts and came home to wrestle with the idea,

the reality and with G-d. When all was said and done I realized

where I was emotionally and mentally and found it wasn't a healthy

place for me. So, up went my hands to the sky and the words, " if I

don't try it I might regret it. Someone is trying to help me, let's

just do this and see where it goes. "

I'm still not exactly where I need to be in my mind nor my heart but

I'm getting closer. I love all of you and miss you terribly. You're

all in my heart and my soul.

Take care and be well.

Ellen

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