Im back/ update

[Guest guest]

Howdy everyone,

Wow it's been a long, long time since I've wrote to the group. Lots

of new members have joined since then. So I'll introduce myself to

yall, Im . Im 36 and have had Still's for 18 years. In fact

this month is the 18th anniversary for my onset. Im one of the board

members and up until a year and a half ago I used to be very active

with the group. I was married, I thought to the most wonderful guy

in the world. He's a helicopter pilot in the army and he was deployed

constantly since 2002. Well long story short he had an affair

( which I would have forgiven) but he completely fell in love with

the girl, who was 21 at the time and he wanted a divorce. Of course

it came it an awful time, he had been gone for 15 months and the week

before he was to return is when he told me he " maybe wanted to

separate " I had no idea there was another woman at the time. And I

was having another surgery on my hip. I've had a left total hip

replacement and 2 revisions. I tried everything to make it work, but

he chose her. So I went through the denial part, the anger part,

then the grieving part, I thought I was doing okay emotionally. We

sold the house, got the divorce...etc.. it wasn't a messy divorce,

he offered me everything. ( I assume his guilt kicked in) but then

once I started to try to move on I just couldn't. He wanted to be

friends and we would talk everyday. but when I found out he was

marrying this girl I just shut down. I really just had an emotional

breakdown, to the point that I just didn't function at all. I

didn't get online,, I didn't go to work, didn't clean my house,

didn't talk on the phone, barely would walk my dogs.... there were

times that I would go an entire week just laying on the couch this

went on for 6 months or longer.. He went back to Iraq and I finally

realized I needed to start getting better. So I moved from Savannah

back to North Carolina where I already had a house near my parents

and things have been much better. Im starting to feel like I have a

reason to get up in the mornings. This was the worst depression I

have ever been in. Im still sad at times but at least I do some

things now. I actually became agoraphobic, where you are afraid to

go out in public,

and Im working on that also.

As far as my stills, it is doing okay, my right hip that has the

avascular necrosis needs to be replaced, the pain is getting pretty

bad, Im seeing a new ortho in a few weeks, my rheumy did an xray and

said the femoral head is collapsing. and I have no range of motion

in that hip at all... I need to lose some weight before the surgery

so my plan is to hold off the surgery until Feb or maybe even early

spring.

I have really missed everyone, and I just feel terrible for not being

there for the group and especially Bob, Melt and Cat. But Im back to

doing some moderating of the list because Bob and Melt have put in

200% since I've been gone. And Im going to start doing some of the

stills research again and try to post recent studies. I know the ACR

is coming up soon so there will be a few new studies presented

there. I cant wait to get caught up on the oldies and meet all of

the newbies. Also since I've moved I have a new email it's

timber@...

Love to all

.