Re: Re: Eating/Not eating/extreme selectivity

[Guest guest]

Even when my son was 3 and we went to Kennedy Krieger the doctors there

said that although my smoothie was the most nutritionally balanced thing

they had ever studied they did not want me to continue it for more than

a year. They said it would destroy his digestive process and make

digesting regular foods harder the longer I waited. But when he was

forced to eat he threw up so what could I do? I waited years for the

answer to what was making his stomach hurt every specialist I saw could

find nothing wrong with his stomach. No one ever tested to see if

digestive enzymes could be the culprit. Dr. Baker told me that my son's

diet was contributing to his huge intake of supplements and destroying

his digestive tract and possibly causing some leaky gut and his constant

constipation and his over growth of yeast and his hyperactivity. Oh and

one more thing. The first 6 to 8 days we had to hunt him down, pick him

up, place him in the chair and hold his arms and head still to feed him.

This was 3 times a day at set times it sometimes would take 3 of us to

get this done. This was ugly and went against all my rules of healthy

psychology of eating. I didn't want you to think that he came willingly

to the table ever in his life regardless of what he ate. My son also did

not eat chicken nuggets until he was 7, even then it was only at

Macdonald's. I don't think our children hold our aggressive tactics

against us or fear us I think what they fear is the unknown or the known

pain of the digestive process. I also don't believe that the relaxed

approach will work, I tried that and he won. That's what I mean about

" Don't give up " it's easy to blame yourself, it's easy to make excuses

it's hard to make them cry. It's harder to see them slowly decline. Trina

>

> This is inspiring! We too have struggled with major eating issues,

> and are now dealing with for a second time with our two year old.

> With our first child, we forced the issue (i.e. force-feeding like

> you resorted to) and it seemed to backfire. Took years of

> specialized OT to desensitize him. But our youngest, who we never

> forced to eat, is even worse. He literally only eats five things:

> chips, crackers apples, french fries and cookies. I would kill to

> get him to eat a chicken nugget! Thank God he will drink smoothies -

> I load those babies up with spinach - and it is his only source of

> nutrition each day.

>

> We've tried to be more relaxed so as not to make him fear mealtime

> as his big brother did due to our aggressive tactics, but I'm not

> sure if the relaxed approach is the right strategy either. I can't

> imagine going through ten years of this. What made you decide to

> address it the way you did? I just read your post and got a sudden

> urge to force eggs in his mouth (and did - he gagged and cried,) but

> then remembered how that backfired with our oldest. I'm just not

> sure the best way to proceed anymore. ECI's strategies have not

> resulted in a single gain from a feeding standpoint, and we can't

> afford sensory based private OT as our insurance has a huge

> deductible and probably would refuse to cover it anyway.

>

> Anyway, I feel like the sooner we get this under control the better,

> but don't want to risk lifelong adverse effects by tackling this

> issue the wrong way. He was born with severe reflux and aspirated

> for a year. He's never had comfortable feeding experiences, so we

> need to tread lightly. When he started solids, he did okay and tried

> everything. Then he just started severely limiting. At this age, his

> ASD brother was eating eggs, sausage, pizza, yogurt, applesauce,

> apples and the standards - chicken nuggets, fries, crackers. My

> second is not ASD, but does show strong signs of texture aversion.

> The pediatrician says just give him three cups of milk and only

> healthy foods. We tried this and he ate nothing, and he was so fussy

> it made us all miserable. We couldn't take him anywhere, use a

> babysitter, and preschool is out of the question if he's not eating

> all day. He'd be so out of sorts he'd get kicked out in a week. When

> dealing with a texture aversion, it seems unfair to starve them

> without giving them coping tools. Any other tried and true

> strategies are welcome.

>

> Thanks,

>

>

>

> P.S. Way to go, mom, for never giving up!

>

>

> >

> > Awesome story. I think you should put your son's quote on a t-

> shirt!

> >

> > I love it! " Don't you give up mom, don't you ever give up " . How

> inspirational.

> >

> >

> > Eating/Not eating/extreme

> selectivity

> >

> > Just when you think your the only one. Someone smiles and says

> hello,

> > without our struggles we would never know, the one true passion of

> the

> > autism foe.

> >

> > Thanks to all of you who have come before me. Today I am giving

> thanks

> > and reminding everyone to never ever give up. I had a child who

> for 10

> > years would not eat anything but Chicken Nuggets, Cereal, Chips,

> > chocolate cookies, Raisins, Apples and French Fries. He smelled

> the GFCF

> > nuggets and threw them at me in the car when I dared to put them

> in the

> > Mc's box. When I took even Rice Milk away to try to get him

> to eat

> > he refused to eat and to drink and we nearly ended up in the

> hospital.

> > He would gag every time I forced him to chew something new. Any

> diet was

> > impossible with this kid. He was frail, not growing not maturing

> and his

> > hair was fine and thin, his skin was white and it seemed even the

> sun

> > would not kiss it. We never had birthday cake he wouldn't touch it

> after

> > his first birthday. Meal times there was always an empty place.

> Twenty

> > days ago with the support of the CARE clinics and Dr.Baker I told

> them I

> > would try again to get him to eat. It was a battle, the whole

> family had

> > to help hold him while I placed tiny pieces of food in his mouth

> and

> > showed him how to chew like a tiger. I got so frustrated he was

> soooooo

> > mad at me. His big brother saw me nearly in tears and said " Don't

> you

> > give up on him mom, you can do it " . We are a willful bunch. With

> older

> > brother Zach's help and dads help we got him through 3 meals a

> day, and

> > by the 9th day the fight was less the screaming subsided and the

> > cravings for chocolate and chips were gone. The only reinforcer

> for

> > eating was a few all natural fruit snacks that I keep under lock

> and

> > key. Today on the 20th day he is eating happily. He is coming to

> the

> > table and with some help with the fork is eating eggs and sausage

> and

> > pears for breakfast and even asked for pizza for dinner. Today my

> 12

> > year old son is not so bony when I hug him, his eyes sparkle with

> > laughter, his hair tangles, and his skin is beginning to tan, I

> think he

> > may even be taller somehow.

> > Just when I think I'm the only one and have done the impossible

> another

> > dad told me that he too had a son who refused to eat. They too had

> to

> > hold him down and even hold his nose (I didn't think of that!) and

> they

> > almost gave up but held on. Now their son eats all by himself in

> fact he

> > eats to much. My message to all of you is that it is never to late

> or to

> > early to change. And to quote my super kid

> > " Don't you give up mom, don't you ever give up "

> > Trina

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >