Re: My little girl...

August 17, 2008

There are no kids i could really ask over for a playdate........they just do not

know how to be involved and after half an hour of drawing and talking barbie

dolls, i think they would have enough. that the trouble as they get older,

hannah still stays 6 and all her peers are 14. at church, we tried to get her

involved in sunday school, as we moved churches. we told the runners of it, they

understood the situation as they had a badly disabled son themselves, who has

since died. i told hannah you can sit up and the back and watch, and when you

have had enough come back to mum and dad....but she wouldnt do it.........so

maybe in time she will.

Cheryl S [chez]

To: Autism_in_Girls@...: thewholetruth@...: Sun, 17

Aug 2008 19:17:24 -0700Subject: RE: Re: My little girl...

My girl Maddie has two older sisters who are 22 and 19, so she's the onlygirl at

home, essentially now growing up an only child (the 22 yo moved outat 18 - the

19 yo moved back with her Dad at 16). Maddie has a few girls inher class but has

also hooked up with a couple girls at our church, wherewe've been for 3 years.

In fact, when our pastor left (for Hawaii - whocould blame him), we considered

finding another church, but that Maddie hadfriends here kept us here. Now we

just hired an ON FIRE new pastor and we'reglad we put Maddie's needs before our

own, because we're all blessed now!All I can say is please make the effort for

your daughter to be involvedwith other kids, because the other parents won't do

it and the kids won'tget it done. We've made friends with some of Maddie's

classmates andchurchmates now, just by being assertive about asking their kids

over andarranging playdates for them.Blessings to you and your family!DonThe

Whole Truth Nothing But the Truth So Help Me God... _____ From:

Autism_in_Girls [mailto:Autism_in_Girls ] On

Behalf Of kcbooneSent: Sunday, August 17, 2008 6:23 PMTo:

Autism_in_Girls@...: Re: Re: My little

girl...Hi Theresa,My daughter (6) is the ONLY girl in her multiple handicapped

class. Lastyear there was another little girl in the class but she was older

than mydaughter and is now in the next class up. The year before, there were

3girls. It makes me a little nervous that she is the ONLY girl. I think sheneeds

to TRY to develop friendships with girls which is VERY hard for her.She is an

only child and she has such a busy after school schedule withprivate therapies

and treatments that we never have play dates. I even saidto her that we were

going to start having friends come over and it upset herVERY much. She's not

good with change and has NEVER had to share her things.Its been quite unsettling

for me. So, I've enrolled her in a girls group atchurch which will begin on the

day after Labor Day. I hope she will make atleast ONE friend in that group that

I can invite over. I've enlisted thehelp of a teenage girl to shadow her in the

girls group at church (sameshadow she has for Sunday school), so hopefully this

will yield somepositive possible friendships. We'll see.Just thought I'd comment

on the ONLY girl in class situation.Karmen Re: Re: My little girl...That does

make sense, my daughter (5) doesn't even really know thedifference between a boy

and a girl yet. At least I don't think she does. IfI show her a picture of a boy

and ask her if it's a boy or girl, she willsometimes say girl and sometimes say

boy... also sometimes depends on howyou ask, cause sometimes she just repeats

the last choice you gave.She's also had mostly boys in her classes (pre-K) and

this year in the VEK-2nd grade class at her school she will be the ONLY girl!

There will beplenty of girls in the mainstream class that she will eat lunch

with andwill visit for times during the day. But even when presented with girls

andboys in a class she almost always gravitates towards the boys when she

doestry to interact... of course most of the time she couldn't care less

ifanyone plays with her or not.She has always LOVED the kids in her class with

DS... In the last two yearsshe had 3 different boys with DS in her classes and

she has been bestbuddies with each of them! If I had to predict boys she'd fancy

in thefuture, I'd say she will find a boy with DS to be her boyfriend.

:)Theresa (who starts K tomorrow!)'s momOn 8/17/08, taijij at work

<taijijatgmail (DOT) <mailto:taijijat%40gmail.com>com> wrote:>> Yes, I understand.

Kayla has decided that I should find her a boyfriend> and> that's just what a

good mom should do. Well, I am not going to find her a> boyfriend but she really

thinks this is my job. Kayla is not mentally or> emotionally ready for a

boyfriend but wants one so badly. She had lots of> boys in every class she has

ever been in, I am guessing this is due to> autism affecting boys at a much

higher rate then girls and well, she is> just> more comfortable with boys

because of this. Not sure if this has anything> to do with her wanting one so

badly.> T>> On Sun, Aug 17, 2008 at 1:53 PM, sondra

wrote:>> > My missy is of very boy crazy too as it i so of called and we are> >

really struggling to this in the home right now. she wants of> > boyfriends, and

while she is of 15 her development is of much younger> > so the social fashions

of her having boyfriends is of hard because most> > boys of 15 are of interested

in other things outside of just girlfriend> > boyfriend things and this is of a

very hard things for us right now. My> > missy is of very well developed for her

age and so this attracts of> > other boys that see of this and not of my

daughter and this causes of> > me great concern for her.> > sondra> >> >> >>>

August 18, 2008

Kayla has plenty of friends. She makes friends with the girls in the other

class. We just moved from NY to SC and now she has to make new friends, but

I have no doubt she will. She is very friendly. We don't do friends at the

house, etc. It seems that a lot of the parents want to leave their children

with us and well, I can handle my children because they are mine and I know

their limits but I don't know others limits. We enjoy family time at home.

T

> My girl Maddie has two older sisters who are 22 and 19, so she's the

> only

> girl at home, essentially now growing up an only child (the 22 yo moved out

> at 18 - the 19 yo moved back with her Dad at 16). Maddie has a few girls in

> her class but has also hooked up with a couple girls at our church, where

> we've been for 3 years. In fact, when our pastor left (for Hawaii - who

> could blame him), we considered finding another church, but that Maddie had

> friends here kept us here. Now we just hired an ON FIRE new pastor and

> we're

> glad we put Maddie's needs before our own, because we're all blessed now!

>

> All I can say is please make the effort for your daughter to be involved

> with other kids, because the other parents won't do it and the kids won't

> get it done. We've made friends with some of Maddie's classmates and

> churchmates now, just by being assertive about asking their kids over and

> arranging playdates for them.

>

> Blessings to you and your family!

>

> Don

>

> The Whole Truth

> Nothing But the Truth

> So Help Me God...

>

> _____

>

> From: Autism_in_Girls <Autism_in_Girls%40yahoogroups.com>

> [mailto:Autism_in_Girls <Autism_in_Girls%40yahoogroups.com>]

> On Behalf Of kcboone

> Sent: Sunday, August 17, 2008 6:23 PM

> To: Autism_in_Girls <Autism_in_Girls%40yahoogroups.com>

> Subject: Re: Re: My little girl...

>

> Hi Theresa,

>

> My daughter (6) is the ONLY girl in her multiple handicapped class. Last

> year there was another little girl in the class but she was older than my

> daughter and is now in the next class up. The year before, there were 3

> girls. It makes me a little nervous that she is the ONLY girl. I think she

> needs to TRY to develop friendships with girls which is VERY hard for her.

> She is an only child and she has such a busy after school schedule with

> private therapies and treatments that we never have play dates. I even said

> to her that we were going to start having friends come over and it upset

> her

> VERY much. She's not good with change and has NEVER had to share her

> things.

> Its been quite unsettling for me. So, I've enrolled her in a girls group at

> church which will begin on the day after Labor Day. I hope she will make at

> least ONE friend in that group that I can invite over. I've enlisted the

> help of a teenage girl to shadow her in the girls group at church (same

> shadow she has for Sunday school), so hopefully this will yield some

> positive possible friendships. We'll see.

>

> Just thought I'd comment on the ONLY girl in class situation.

>

> Karmen

> Re: Re: My little girl...

>

> That does make sense, my daughter (5) doesn't even really know the

> difference between a boy and a girl yet. At least I don't think she does.

> If

> I show her a picture of a boy and ask her if it's a boy or girl, she will

> sometimes say girl and sometimes say boy... also sometimes depends on how

> you ask, cause sometimes she just repeats the last choice you gave.

>

> She's also had mostly boys in her classes (pre-K) and this year in the VE

> K-2nd grade class at her school she will be the ONLY girl! There will be

> plenty of girls in the mainstream class that she will eat lunch with and

> will visit for times during the day. But even when presented with girls and

> boys in a class she almost always gravitates towards the boys when she does

> try to interact... of course most of the time she couldn't care less if

> anyone plays with her or not.

>

> She has always LOVED the kids in her class with DS... In the last two years

> she had 3 different boys with DS in her classes and she has been best

> buddies with each of them! If I had to predict boys she'd fancy in the

> future, I'd say she will find a boy with DS to be her boyfriend.

>

> Theresa

> (who starts K tomorrow!)'s mom

>

> On 8/17/08, taijij at work <taijijatgmail (DOT)

<mailto:taijijat%40gmail.com<taijijat%2540gmail.com>

> >

> com> wrote:

> >

> > Yes, I understand. Kayla has decided that I should find her a boyfriend

> > and

> > that's just what a good mom should do. Well, I am not going to find her a

> > boyfriend but she really thinks this is my job. Kayla is not mentally or

> > emotionally ready for a boyfriend but wants one so badly. She had lots of

> > boys in every class she has ever been in, I am guessing this is due to

> > autism affecting boys at a much higher rate then girls and well, she is

> > just

> > more comfortable with boys because of this. Not sure if this has anything

> > to do with her wanting one so badly.

> > T

> >

> > On Sun, Aug 17, 2008 at 1:53 PM, sondra <hfa2columbus (DOT)

> <mailto:hfa2%40columbus.rr.com <hfa2%2540columbus.rr.com>> rr.com<hfa2%

> 40columbus.rr.com>>

> > wrote:

> >

> > > My missy is of very boy crazy too as it i so of called and we are

> > > really struggling to this in the home right now. she wants of

> > > boyfriends, and while she is of 15 her development is of much younger

> > > so the social fashions of her having boyfriends is of hard because most

> > > boys of 15 are of interested in other things outside of just girlfriend

> > > boyfriend things and this is of a very hard things for us right now. My

> > > missy is of very well developed for her age and so this attracts of

> > > other boys that see of this and not of my daughter and this causes of

> > > me great concern for her.

> > > sondra

> > >

> >

August 18, 2008

Did you ever try to facilitate friendships between your daughter and other

girls? Does she consider her older sister her 'friend'? How do they get along?

My daughter is an only child, so she truly is 'alone'. That is partly the

reason I feel I have to intervene, because at least if I try to encourage a

friendship between her and another little girl, at least I will give her the

opportunity to try to understand 'friendship', and see if she is receptive to

it. Right now as it stands there is NO opportunity for her to even get an idea

of what friendship is because she is an only child and is very schedulized after

school with therapies and treatments.

Karmen

Re: Re: My little girl...>> That does make sense, my

daughter (5) doesn't even really know the> difference between a boy and a girl

yet. At least I don't think she does.> If> I show her a picture of a boy and ask

her if it's a boy or girl, she will> sometimes say girl and sometimes say boy...

also sometimes depends on how> you ask, cause sometimes she just repeats the

last choice you gave.>> She's also had mostly boys in her classes (pre-K) and

this year in the VE> K-2nd grade class at her school she will be the ONLY girl!

There will be> plenty of girls in the mainstream class that she will eat lunch

with and> will visit for times during the day. But even when presented with

girls and> boys in a class she almost always gravitates towards the boys when

she does> try to interact... of course most of the time she couldn't care less

if> anyone plays with her or not.>> She has always LOVED the kids in her class

with DS... In the last two years> she had 3 different boys with DS in her

classes and she has been best> buddies with each of them! If I had to predict

boys she'd fancy in the> future, I'd say she will find a boy with DS to be her

boyfriend. >> Theresa> (who starts K tomorrow!)'s mom>> On 8/17/08,

taijij at work <taijijat@... <taijijat%40gmail.com>>> wrote:> >> > Yes, I

understand. Kayla has decided that I should find her a boyfriend> > and> >

that's just what a good mom should do. Well, I am not going to find her a> >

boyfriend but she really thinks this is my job. Kayla is not mentally or> >

emotionally ready for a boyfriend but wants one so badly. She had lots of> >

boys in every class she has ever been in, I am guessing this is due to> > autism

affecting boys at a much higher rate then girls and well, she is> > just> > more

comfortable with boys because of this. Not sure if this has anything> > to do

with her wanting one so badly.> > T> >> > On Sun, Aug 17, 2008 at 1:53 PM,

sondra <hfa2@...<hfa2%40columbus.rr.com>> <hfa2%40columbus.rr.com>>>

> wrote:> >> > > My missy is of very boy crazy too as it i so of called and we

are> > > really struggling to this in the home right now. she wants of> > >

boyfriends, and while she is of 15 her development is of much younger> > > so

the social fashions of her having boyfriends is of hard because most> > > boys

of 15 are of interested in other things outside of just girlfriend> > >

boyfriend things and this is of a very hard things for us right now. My> > >

missy is of very well developed for her age and so this attracts of> > > other

boys that see of this and not of my daughter and this causes of> > > me great

concern for her.> > > sondra> > >> > >> > >> >> > [Non-text portions of this

message have been removed]> >> >> >>> [Non-text portions of this message have

been removed]>>

August 18, 2008

I guess my daughter is lucky, I have 3 girls all about 18 months from

each other. My daughter with autism is in the middle so she has

instant friends. I have a friend who has a daughter a year older than

my one with Autism and my girls go and play with her they get along

pretty well.

Joanna

> Did you ever try to facilitate friendships between your daughter and other

> girls? Does she consider her older sister her 'friend'? How do they get

> along?

>

> My daughter is an only child, so she truly is 'alone'. That is partly the

> reason I feel I have to intervene, because at least if I try to encourage a

> friendship between her and another little girl, at least I will give her the

> opportunity to try to understand 'friendship', and see if she is receptive

> to it. Right now as it stands there is NO opportunity for her to even get an

> idea of what friendship is because she is an only child and is very

> schedulized after school with therapies and treatments.

>

> Karmen

> Re: Re: My

> little girl...>> That does make sense, my daughter (5) doesn't even really

> know the> difference between a boy and a girl yet. At least I don't think

> she does.> If> I show her a picture of a boy and ask her if it's a boy or

> girl, she will> sometimes say girl and sometimes say boy... also sometimes

> depends on how> you ask, cause sometimes she just repeats the last choice

> you gave.>> She's also had mostly boys in her classes (pre-K) and this year

> in the VE> K-2nd grade class at her school she will be the ONLY girl! There

> will be> plenty of girls in the mainstream class that she will eat lunch

> with and> will visit for times during the day. But even when presented with

> girls and> boys in a class she almost always gravitates towards the boys

> when she does> try to interact... of course most of the time she couldn't

> care less if> anyone plays with her or not.>> She has always LOVED the kids

> in her class with DS... In the last two years> she had 3 different boys with

> DS in her classes and she has been best> buddies with each of them! If I had

> to predict boys she'd fancy in the> future, I'd say she will find a boy with

> DS to be her boyfriend. >> Theresa> (who starts K tomorrow!)'s

> mom>> On 8/17/08, taijij at work <taijijat@...

> <taijijat%40gmail.com>>> wrote:> >> > Yes, I understand. Kayla has decided

> that I should find her a boyfriend> > and> > that's just what a good mom

> should do. Well, I am not going to find her a> > boyfriend but she really

> thinks this is my job. Kayla is not mentally or> > emotionally ready for a

> boyfriend but wants one so badly. She had lots of> > boys in every class she

> has ever been in, I am guessing this is due to> > autism affecting boys at a

> much higher rate then girls and well, she is> > just> > more comfortable

> with boys because of this. Not sure if this has anything> > to do with her

> wanting one so badly.> > T> >> > On Sun, Aug 17, 2008 at 1:53 PM, sondra

> <hfa2@...<hfa2%40columbus.rr.com>> <hfa2%40columbus.rr.com>>> >

> wrote:> >> > > My missy is of very boy crazy too as it i so of called and we

> are> > > really struggling to this in the home right now. she wants of> > >

> boyfriends, and while she is of 15 her development is of much younger> > >

> so the social fashions of her having boyfriends is of hard because most> > >

> boys of 15 are of interested in other things outside of just girlfriend> > >

> boyfriend things and this is of a very hard things for us right now. My> > >

> missy is of very well developed for her age and so this attracts of> > >

> other boys that see of this and not of my daughter and this causes of> > >

> me great concern for her.> > > sondra>

August 18, 2008