Re: Excessive worry in 8 1/2 year old son

[Guest guest]

:

Thanks for responding to my email. Yes, finding this group looks like it will

be a God-send. Sometimes in my family we refer to being kind or supportive to

another as being " Jesus with skin " to another. This group is like " Jesus with

email " ! I too want to get the Worry Hill book, but think I will invest in Dr.

Chansky's book first since everyone raves about it so.

Do you find it difficult to find much on OCD that deals with the excessive

worry/doubting/checking? Thus far Luke does not show signs of some of the more

well known OCD symptoms and I find it comforting when I know there are other

kids who ask their moms 100 questions a day and insist on reassurance or an

answer, or who are overly conscientious of every moral or immoral thing in their

midst. I'm going to look for as much as I can on this and will let you know if

I come up with anything. Perhaps the books you suggested with cover that - I've

order Dr. Chansky's online and should receive it soon.

We are in Missouri. I don't suppose you live anywhere near the Midwest do you?

I would love it if Luke had some friends who understood and shared his similar

struggles. I have signed him up on the ocdkids support group. Is your daughter

on there?

Finally, keep a close eye on the ADD. I mistook his lack of attention at school

to be associated with his OCD. His psychiatrist told me that co-morbidity

(having more than one of these types of conditions at a time) is more the norm

than the exception. It was not a surprise to her at all that Luke's teacher

helped assist us in making the ADD diagnosis. I can't believe the difference

Adderall has made with his OCD and his teacher just raves about how much better

Luke is doing at school. I have to think this will boost his self esteem.

Plus, unlike the OCD meds, the meds for ADD take effect within 20-30 minutes, so

you will be able to ascertain right away if a particular drug is helping or not.

Take care, and keep in touch.

Warmly,

Re: Excessive worry in 8 1/2 year old son

Dear ,

Welcome. I also have an 8 yr. old (daughter) who suffers from Ocd,

and falls into the excessive worry/doubt category, as well as dealing

with many fears, and intrusive thoughts. She also has that need to

tell/confess/apologize. We haven't had her diagnosed as ADD or ADHD,

though I sometimes wonder.

I second the others' responses regarding Dr. Chansky's book. It's

the best one I've read so far, and covers a wide variety of

symptoms. It's specifically directed to parents, too, so that's very

helpful. I also liked some parts of Fred Penzel's " Obsessive

Compulsive Disorders " and he has a particularly poignant section on

accepting our children, in which he mentions dealing with this sort

of thing in his own family.

I plan to order Dr. Aureen Pinto Wagner's " Up and Down the Worry

Hill " as I've heard good things about it, but haven't read it yet.

Welcome to this forum -- I'm also pretty new here, and am finding

wonderful support. It's so nice to know we're not alone, isn't it?

Blessings,

> I'm the mother of an 8 1/2 year old son who suffers from OCD in the

> form of excessive worry/doubt. He seems to get in a cycle of worry

> at times and nothing any of us in the family say can calm the

anxiety

> he is feeling until he is in fact done feeling that particular

worry.

>

> 5. Finally, can you direct me to some good literature regarding

this

> type of OCD. I read a lot about counting, hoarding and cleaning,

but

> not as much on the type of problems my son suffers with as I've

> described above.

[Guest guest]

My 9yr old with Tourettes/OCD and ADHD has been on many med cocktails. His OCD

gives him the most trouble. ADHD a close second. We tried him on Adderall

several times, because didn't want to use Ritalin with Tourettes(tics). Each

time we tried with adderall, he thru the worst tantrums. He still has tantrums,

but not as often or as severe when we switch to Ritalin. His OCD still is not

under control. He is on Luvox (was on Prozac). He takes 100 mg a day. I would

have no problem trying to increase Luvox to see if any more improvement after so

many weeks. It is a long, long, road of trial and error. If you can, keep a

short med diary of major things you noticed that day and on what meds with any

exceptions (lack of sleep, event that overstimulated...) This helps to look

back on. Don't ignore your gut feelings either. No one knows your kid the way

you do.(Even though it can be pretty confusing with the disorder waxing and

waning and the effect of meds throughout.)The hard part is to calm down enough

(not panic) to make rational judgements. Pray, read for info, find the best

doctor you can find in your area, and try to relax and enjoy your kids when you

can. Don't constantly look at them as a problem to solve. You won't be able to

solve this. Yes, maybe you can make it better by monitoring meds, therapy,

school.... but don't waste all your precious time with the kids by worrying and

trying to make all the problems go away. Good luck, All of you are in my

prayers. Cheryl

madamsboyers wrote: This is my first email to your

group. I'm not exactly sure to whom I

am writing, and if I have directed this to the wrong person(s),

please forgive me and kindly redirect me.

I'm the mother of an 8 1/2 year old son who suffers from OCD in the

form of excessive worry/doubt. He seems to get in a cycle of worry

at times and nothing any of us in the family say can calm the anxiety

he is feeling until he is in fact done feeling that particular worry.

Secondly, meltdowns. There is no pattern to when the meltdowns occur

that we can tell, which makes our home like a ticking time bomb. The

meltdowns occur in a situation where my son feels that something

should go or be a certain way, but for whatever reason we are unable

to make things be like that for him. For example, if we have left

the house and he will have forgotten something he wanted to take

along and we are too far from home to go back, he will get upset and

escalate into a meltdown crying and screaming uncontrollably that he

must have the thing he left. These situations can take up to an hour

for him to come down from. Essentially he just wears out from being

so upset. We try being stern and understanding, or to explain or

even bring to his attention that it is not his fault he is feeling so

compelled about the " thing " he is obsessing over, that it is the OCD

that is making him feel that way. Thus far, we're apparently not

doing or saying the right things and therefore the entire household

has to wait out the meltdown. Afterwards, my son is left exhausted

and feeling guilty and ashamed for having been so out of control.

These obsessive thoughts and intrusive thoughts that occur over and

over, or the need to apologize or check things with me over and over

has been diagnosed as OCD by two different psychiatrists and our

family physician. My son is being treated with 50 mg of Luvox in the

morning and another 50 mg at night. In addition, he has just been

diagnosed with ADD - innattentive form, and therefore is also taking

10 mg of Adderal XR every morning. The Adderal has helped so much

with schoolwork and homework. However, I wonder if its stimulant

effect might not be making his OCD symptoms worse.

I would really like to get into some type of behavorial therapy for

my son, but feel that we must at least try to get his symptoms

somewhat under control with medication first.

My questions are:

1. Are there behavorial therapists that deal with childhood OCD in

the Kansas City area? Where might I begin to find such a therapist?

2. Is it likely that the Adderal has heightened the OCD symptoms?

3. Is it safe to continue to increase the Luvox, which is what the

psychiatrist is recommending?

4. Is there any medication for children that can be taken at the

time of these meltdowns or anxiety attacks? He is unreasonable and

emotionally out of control during them. They drain him mentally,

emotionally and physically.

5. Finally, can you direct me to some good literature regarding this

type of OCD. I read a lot about counting, hoarding and cleaning, but

not as much on the type of problems my son suffers with as I've

described above.

Any information/direction you can provide is appreciated. Thanks for

your consideration. My email address is: msmichelle@....

Sincerely,

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Welcome. I thought I would address your # 4 and 5

question.

Wouldn't it be nice if there was a " chill pill " ! When

our son was uncontrollable he was given Risperdal for

his rages.

One of the best lines of defense for getting the OCD

under control is the behavior therapy. So many things

factor into the behavior. How we react to them, is one

that can be a big trigger that sets up patterns of

enabling. Which leads me to # 5. I think that Aureens

Pinto Wagners book Worried No More, and Tamar Chankeys

book are excellent. Herb Gravitz book New Help for

the Family was a good one also. If the emotional

meltdowns are really bad I would recommend Dr. Greenes

book the Explosive Child. Each one of those books have

been great. Especially Worried No More which is brand

new,(from Lighthouse Press) and Freeing your Child

From OCD by Chansky.

This group has been like a rock for me. I have used it

for venting when there was no one else to understand

what our family was going through, and recieved much

needed support.

Again Welcome,

Vivian

4. Is there any medication for children that can be

taken at the

time of these meltdowns or anxiety attacks? He is

unreasonable and

emotionally out of control during them. They drain

him mentally,

emotionally and physically.

5. Finally, can you direct me to some good literature

regarding this

type of OCD. I read a lot about counting, hoarding

and cleaning, but

not as much on the type of problems my son suffers

with as I've

described above.

--- madamsboyers wrote:

> This is my first email to your group. I'm not

> exactly sure to whom I

> am writing, and if I have directed this to the wrong

> person(s),

> please forgive me and kindly redirect me.

>

> I'm the mother of an 8 1/2 year old son who suffers

> from OCD in the

> form of excessive worry/doubt. He seems to get in a

> cycle of worry

> at times and nothing any of us in the family say can

> calm the anxiety

> he is feeling until he is in fact done feeling that

> particular worry.

>

> Secondly, meltdowns. There is no pattern to when

> the meltdowns occur

> that we can tell, which makes our home like a

> ticking time bomb. The

> meltdowns occur in a situation where my son feels

> that something

> should go or be a certain way, but for whatever

> reason we are unable

> to make things be like that for him. For example,

> if we have left

> the house and he will have forgotten something he

> wanted to take

> along and we are too far from home to go back, he

> will get upset and

> escalate into a meltdown crying and screaming

> uncontrollably that he

> must have the thing he left. These situations can

> take up to an hour

> for him to come down from. Essentially he just

> wears out from being

> so upset. We try being stern and understanding, or

> to explain or

> even bring to his attention that it is not his fault

> he is feeling so

> compelled about the " thing " he is obsessing over,

> that it is the OCD

> that is making him feel that way. Thus far, we're

> apparently not

> doing or saying the right things and therefore the

> entire household

> has to wait out the meltdown. Afterwards, my son is

> left exhausted

> and feeling guilty and ashamed for having been so

> out of control.

>

> These obsessive thoughts and intrusive thoughts that

> occur over and

> over, or the need to apologize or check things with

> me over and over

> has been diagnosed as OCD by two different

> psychiatrists and our

> family physician. My son is being treated with 50

> mg of Luvox in the

> morning and another 50 mg at night. In addition, he

> has just been

> diagnosed with ADD - innattentive form, and

> therefore is also taking

> 10 mg of Adderal XR every morning. The Adderal has

> helped so much

> with schoolwork and homework. However, I wonder if

> its stimulant

> effect might not be making his OCD symptoms worse.

>

> I would really like to get into some type of

> behavorial therapy for

> my son, but feel that we must at least try to get

> his symptoms

> somewhat under control with medication first.

>

> My questions are:

>

> 1. Are there behavorial therapists that deal with

> childhood OCD in

> the Kansas City area? Where might I begin to find

> such a therapist?

>

> 2. Is it likely that the Adderal has heightened the

> OCD symptoms?

>

> 3. Is it safe to continue to increase the Luvox,

> which is what the

> psychiatrist is recommending?

>

> 4. Is there any medication for children that can be

> taken at the

> time of these meltdowns or anxiety attacks? He is

> unreasonable and

> emotionally out of control during them. They drain

> him mentally,

> emotionally and physically.

>

> 5. Finally, can you direct me to some good

> literature regarding this

> type of OCD. I read a lot about counting, hoarding

> and cleaning, but

> not as much on the type of problems my son suffers

> with as I've

> described above.

>

> Any information/direction you can provide is

> appreciated. Thanks for

> your consideration. My email address is:

> msmichelle@....

>

> Sincerely,

>

>

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hello everyone,

I have been reading many of your letters today and I can relate to so many of

you. This is the first time I am making contact with this group. I'm the mother

of an 7 1/2 year old son who I believe suffers from OCD in the form of excessive

worry/doubt, apologizing, washing hands, and seeking contant reasurance " is that

ok mommy? " He gets so distressed about little things. He cries about just about

anything that upsets him. I attended a local ocd support group last week and

they recommended this group. For years I thought that my son was just

" dramatic " . When his little hands started to bleed because of the constant

washing, I thought that there was something wrong. I have spoken to my son's

pediatrician twice recentley about the severe repetition and anxiety my son is

experiencing. He said that I should not put the wagon before the wheel. That he

does not have ocd. That the anxiety (life) is causing all the repetition, not

the repetition causing anxiety. He believes that it is normal for a young child

with changes in his life (death of great grandma, new school and new baby) to

respond by repetion. He asked me to not address the issues that my son brings

up, but to only talk about the feelings. I should ignore the issue or current

" thing " that my son is stuck on. He said I should say things and distract him

with things that make him feel good. Do whatever possible to not feed into the

anxiety. I have been trying this method all week, but my son makes remarks about

being ignored when I do not respond to his unresonable and irrational

statements. I hate to lable my son with ocd and to excuse his behaviors. How

does one really know if it is truly ocd? Please help. Any advice is greatly

appreciated.

Teddi

Vivian Stembridge wrote:

Hi ,

Welcome. I thought I would address your # 4 and 5

question.

Wouldn't it be nice if there was a " chill pill " ! When

our son was uncontrollable he was given Risperdal for

his rages.

One of the best lines of defense for getting the OCD

under control is the behavior therapy. So many things

factor into the behavior. How we react to them, is one

that can be a big trigger that sets up patterns of

enabling. Which leads me to # 5. I think that Aureens

Pinto Wagners book Worried No More, and Tamar Chankeys

book are excellent. Herb Gravitz book New Help for

the Family was a good one also. If the emotional

meltdowns are really bad I would recommend Dr. Greenes

book the Explosive Child. Each one of those books have

been great. Especially Worried No More which is brand

new,(from Lighthouse Press) and Freeing your Child

From OCD by Chansky.

This group has been like a rock for me. I have used it

for venting when there was no one else to understand

what our family was going through, and recieved much

needed support.

Again Welcome,

Vivian

4. Is there any medication for children that can be

taken at the

time of these meltdowns or anxiety attacks? He is

unreasonable and

emotionally out of control during them. They drain

him mentally,

emotionally and physically.

5. Finally, can you direct me to some good literature

regarding this

type of OCD. I read a lot about counting, hoarding

and cleaning, but

not as much on the type of problems my son suffers

with as I've

described above.

--- madamsboyers wrote:

> This is my first email to your group. I'm not

> exactly sure to whom I

> am writing, and if I have directed this to the wrong

> person(s),

> please forgive me and kindly redirect me.

>

> I'm the mother of an 8 1/2 year old son who suffers

> from OCD in the

> form of excessive worry/doubt. He seems to get in a

> cycle of worry

> at times and nothing any of us in the family say can

> calm the anxiety

> he is feeling until he is in fact done feeling that

> particular worry.

>

> Secondly, meltdowns. There is no pattern to when

> the meltdowns occur

> that we can tell, which makes our home like a

> ticking time bomb. The

> meltdowns occur in a situation where my son feels

> that something

> should go or be a certain way, but for whatever

> reason we are unable

> to make things be like that for him. For example,

> if we have left

> the house and he will have forgotten something he

> wanted to take

> along and we are too far from home to go back, he

> will get upset and

> escalate into a meltdown crying and screaming

> uncontrollably that he

> must have the thing he left. These situations can

> take up to an hour

> for him to come down from. Essentially he just

> wears out from being

> so upset. We try being stern and understanding, or

> to explain or

> even bring to his attention that it is not his fault

> he is feeling so

> compelled about the " thing " he is obsessing over,

> that it is the OCD

> that is making him feel that way. Thus far, we're

> apparently not

> doing or saying the right things and therefore the

> entire household

> has to wait out the meltdown. Afterwards, my son is

> left exhausted

> and feeling guilty and ashamed for having been so

> out of control.

>

> These obsessive thoughts and intrusive thoughts that

> occur over and

> over, or the need to apologize or check things with

> me over and over

> has been diagnosed as OCD by two different

> psychiatrists and our

> family physician. My son is being treated with 50

> mg of Luvox in the

> morning and another 50 mg at night. In addition, he

> has just been

> diagnosed with ADD - innattentive form, and

> therefore is also taking

> 10 mg of Adderal XR every morning. The Adderal has

> helped so much

> with schoolwork and homework. However, I wonder if

> its stimulant

> effect might not be making his OCD symptoms worse.

>

> I would really like to get into some type of

> behavorial therapy for

> my son, but feel that we must at least try to get

> his symptoms

> somewhat under control with medication first.

>

> My questions are:

>

> 1. Are there behavorial therapists that deal with

> childhood OCD in

> the Kansas City area? Where might I begin to find

> such a therapist?

>

> 2. Is it likely that the Adderal has heightened the

> OCD symptoms?

>

> 3. Is it safe to continue to increase the Luvox,

> which is what the

> psychiatrist is recommending?

>

> 4. Is there any medication for children that can be

> taken at the

> time of these meltdowns or anxiety attacks? He is

> unreasonable and

> emotionally out of control during them. They drain

> him mentally,

> emotionally and physically.

>

> 5. Finally, can you direct me to some good

> literature regarding this

> type of OCD. I read a lot about counting, hoarding

> and cleaning, but

> not as much on the type of problems my son suffers

> with as I've

> described above.

>

> Any information/direction you can provide is

> appreciated. Thanks for

> your consideration. My email address is:

> msmichelle@....

>

> Sincerely,

>

>

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hello everyone,

I have been reading many of your letters today and I can relate to so many of

you. This is the first time I am making contact with this group. I'm the mother

of an 7 1/2 year old son who I believe suffers from OCD in the form of excessive

worry/doubt, apologizing, washing hands, and seeking contant reasurance " is that

ok mommy? " He gets so distressed about little things. He cries about just about

anything that upsets him. I attended a local ocd support group last week and

they recommended this group. For years I thought that my son was just

" dramatic " . When his little hands started to bleed because of the constant

washing, I thought that there was something wrong. I have spoken to my son's

pediatrician twice recentley about the severe repetition and anxiety my son is

experiencing. He said that I should not put the wagon before the wheel. That he

does not have ocd. That the anxiety (life) is causing all the repetition, not

the repetition causing anxiety. He believes that it is normal for a young child

with changes in his life (death of great grandma, new school and new baby) to

respond by repetion. He asked me to not address the issues that my son brings

up, but to only talk about the feelings. I should ignore the issue or current

" thing " that my son is stuck on. He said I should say things and distract him

with things that make him feel good. Do whatever possible to not feed into the

anxiety. I have been trying this method all week, but my son makes remarks about

being ignored when I do not respond to his unresonable and irrational

statements. I hate to lable my son with ocd and to excuse his behaviors. How

does one really know if it is truly ocd? Please help. Any advice is greatly

appreciated.

Teddi

Vivian Stembridge wrote:

Hi ,

Welcome. I thought I would address your # 4 and 5

question.

Wouldn't it be nice if there was a " chill pill " ! When

our son was uncontrollable he was given Risperdal for

his rages.

One of the best lines of defense for getting the OCD

under control is the behavior therapy. So many things

factor into the behavior. How we react to them, is one

that can be a big trigger that sets up patterns of

enabling. Which leads me to # 5. I think that Aureens

Pinto Wagners book Worried No More, and Tamar Chankeys

book are excellent. Herb Gravitz book New Help for

the Family was a good one also. If the emotional

meltdowns are really bad I would recommend Dr. Greenes

book the Explosive Child. Each one of those books have

been great. Especially Worried No More which is brand

new,(from Lighthouse Press) and Freeing your Child

From OCD by Chansky.

This group has been like a rock for me. I have used it

for venting when there was no one else to understand

what our family was going through, and recieved much

needed support.

Again Welcome,

Vivian

4. Is there any medication for children that can be

taken at the

time of these meltdowns or anxiety attacks? He is

unreasonable and

emotionally out of control during them. They drain

him mentally,

emotionally and physically.

5. Finally, can you direct me to some good literature

regarding this

type of OCD. I read a lot about counting, hoarding

and cleaning, but

not as much on the type of problems my son suffers

with as I've

described above.

--- madamsboyers wrote:

> This is my first email to your group. I'm not

> exactly sure to whom I

> am writing, and if I have directed this to the wrong

> person(s),

> please forgive me and kindly redirect me.

>

> I'm the mother of an 8 1/2 year old son who suffers

> from OCD in the

> form of excessive worry/doubt. He seems to get in a

> cycle of worry

> at times and nothing any of us in the family say can

> calm the anxiety

> he is feeling until he is in fact done feeling that

> particular worry.

>

> Secondly, meltdowns. There is no pattern to when

> the meltdowns occur

> that we can tell, which makes our home like a

> ticking time bomb. The

> meltdowns occur in a situation where my son feels

> that something

> should go or be a certain way, but for whatever

> reason we are unable

> to make things be like that for him. For example,

> if we have left

> the house and he will have forgotten something he

> wanted to take

> along and we are too far from home to go back, he

> will get upset and

> escalate into a meltdown crying and screaming

> uncontrollably that he

> must have the thing he left. These situations can

> take up to an hour

> for him to come down from. Essentially he just

> wears out from being

> so upset. We try being stern and understanding, or

> to explain or

> even bring to his attention that it is not his fault

> he is feeling so

> compelled about the " thing " he is obsessing over,

> that it is the OCD

> that is making him feel that way. Thus far, we're

> apparently not

> doing or saying the right things and therefore the

> entire household

> has to wait out the meltdown. Afterwards, my son is

> left exhausted

> and feeling guilty and ashamed for having been so

> out of control.

>

> These obsessive thoughts and intrusive thoughts that

> occur over and

> over, or the need to apologize or check things with

> me over and over

> has been diagnosed as OCD by two different

> psychiatrists and our

> family physician. My son is being treated with 50

> mg of Luvox in the

> morning and another 50 mg at night. In addition, he

> has just been

> diagnosed with ADD - innattentive form, and

> therefore is also taking

> 10 mg of Adderal XR every morning. The Adderal has

> helped so much

> with schoolwork and homework. However, I wonder if

> its stimulant

> effect might not be making his OCD symptoms worse.

>

> I would really like to get into some type of

> behavorial therapy for

> my son, but feel that we must at least try to get

> his symptoms

> somewhat under control with medication first.

>

> My questions are:

>

> 1. Are there behavorial therapists that deal with

> childhood OCD in

> the Kansas City area? Where might I begin to find

> such a therapist?

>

> 2. Is it likely that the Adderal has heightened the

> OCD symptoms?

>

> 3. Is it safe to continue to increase the Luvox,

> which is what the

> psychiatrist is recommending?

>

> 4. Is there any medication for children that can be

> taken at the

> time of these meltdowns or anxiety attacks? He is

> unreasonable and

> emotionally out of control during them. They drain

> him mentally,

> emotionally and physically.

>

> 5. Finally, can you direct me to some good

> literature regarding this

> type of OCD. I read a lot about counting, hoarding

> and cleaning, but

> not as much on the type of problems my son suffers

> with as I've

> described above.

>

> Any information/direction you can provide is

> appreciated. Thanks for

> your consideration. My email address is:

> msmichelle@....

>

> Sincerely,

>

>

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hi Teddi, and welcome. I'm heading out the door, so my quick answer to your

question of how to determine if a child does have ocd or some other problem or

no problem at all is to take him to a psychiatrist who has experience with both

children and OCD and have him evaluated. Many of us have found that our peds

were not knowlegeable enough to diagnose or rule out OCD. Based on the symptoms

you mention that your son has, I think a professional evaluation would be a good

idea. As the mom of a now 8 yo who had an abrupt onset of OCD at 4 years, 11

months, I do recognize many of the behaviors your son has.

OCD is very treatable with a certain type of behavior therapy called Cognitive

Behavior Therapy with Exposure and Response Prevention. Some kids also take

medication to control their OCD symptoms, and some do both.

Take care,

Kathy R. in Indiana

Re: Excessive worry in 8 1/2 year old son

Hello everyone,

I have been reading many of your letters today and I can relate to so many of

you. This is the first time I am making contact with this group. I'm the mother

of an 7 1/2 year old son who I believe suffers from OCD in the form of excessive

worry/doubt, apologizing, washing hands, and seeking contant reasurance " is that

ok mommy? " He gets so distressed about little things. He cries about just about

anything that upsets him. I attended a local ocd support group last week and

they recommended this group. For years I thought that my son was just

" dramatic " . When his little hands started to bleed because of the constant

washing, I thought that there was something wrong. I have spoken to my son's

pediatrician twice recentley about the severe repetition and anxiety my son is

experiencing. He said that I should not put the wagon before the wheel. That he

does not have ocd. That the anxiety (life) is causing all the repetition, not

the repetition causing anxiety. He believes that it is normal for a young child

with changes in his life (death of great grandma, new school and new baby) to

respond by repetion. He asked me to not address the issues that my son brings

up, but to only talk about the feelings. I should ignore the issue or current

" thing " that my son is stuck on. He said I should say things and distract him

with things that make him feel good. Do whatever possible to not feed into the

anxiety. I have been trying this method all week, but my son makes remarks about

being ignored when I do not respond to his unresonable and irrational

statements. I hate to lable my son with ocd and to excuse his behaviors. How

does one really know if it is truly ocd? Please help. Any advice is greatly

appreciated.

Teddi

Vivian Stembridge wrote:

Hi ,

Welcome. I thought I would address your # 4 and 5

question.

Wouldn't it be nice if there was a " chill pill " ! When

our son was uncontrollable he was given Risperdal for

his rages.

One of the best lines of defense for getting the OCD

under control is the behavior therapy. So many things

factor into the behavior. How we react to them, is one

that can be a big trigger that sets up patterns of

enabling. Which leads me to # 5. I think that Aureens

Pinto Wagners book Worried No More, and Tamar Chankeys

book are excellent. Herb Gravitz book New Help for

the Family was a good one also. If the emotional

meltdowns are really bad I would recommend Dr. Greenes

book the Explosive Child. Each one of those books have

been great. Especially Worried No More which is brand

new,(from Lighthouse Press) and Freeing your Child

From OCD by Chansky.

This group has been like a rock for me. I have used it

for venting when there was no one else to understand

what our family was going through, and recieved much

needed support.

Again Welcome,

Vivian

4. Is there any medication for children that can be

taken at the

time of these meltdowns or anxiety attacks? He is

unreasonable and

emotionally out of control during them. They drain

him mentally,

emotionally and physically.

5. Finally, can you direct me to some good literature

regarding this

type of OCD. I read a lot about counting, hoarding

and cleaning, but

not as much on the type of problems my son suffers

with as I've

described above.

--- madamsboyers wrote:

> This is my first email to your group. I'm not

> exactly sure to whom I

> am writing, and if I have directed this to the wrong

> person(s),

> please forgive me and kindly redirect me.

>

> I'm the mother of an 8 1/2 year old son who suffers

> from OCD in the

> form of excessive worry/doubt. He seems to get in a

> cycle of worry

> at times and nothing any of us in the family say can

> calm the anxiety

> he is feeling until he is in fact done feeling that

> particular worry.

>

> Secondly, meltdowns. There is no pattern to when

> the meltdowns occur

> that we can tell, which makes our home like a

> ticking time bomb. The

> meltdowns occur in a situation where my son feels

> that something

> should go or be a certain way, but for whatever

> reason we are unable

> to make things be like that for him. For example,

> if we have left

> the house and he will have forgotten something he

> wanted to take

> along and we are too far from home to go back, he

> will get upset and

> escalate into a meltdown crying and screaming

> uncontrollably that he

> must have the thing he left. These situations can

> take up to an hour

> for him to come down from. Essentially he just

> wears out from being

> so upset. We try being stern and understanding, or

> to explain or

> even bring to his attention that it is not his fault

> he is feeling so

> compelled about the " thing " he is obsessing over,

> that it is the OCD

> that is making him feel that way. Thus far, we're

> apparently not

> doing or saying the right things and therefore the

> entire household

> has to wait out the meltdown. Afterwards, my son is

> left exhausted

> and feeling guilty and ashamed for having been so

> out of control.

>

> These obsessive thoughts and intrusive thoughts that

> occur over and

> over, or the need to apologize or check things with

> me over and over

> has been diagnosed as OCD by two different

> psychiatrists and our

> family physician. My son is being treated with 50

> mg of Luvox in the

> morning and another 50 mg at night. In addition, he

> has just been

> diagnosed with ADD - innattentive form, and

> therefore is also taking

> 10 mg of Adderal XR every morning. The Adderal has

> helped so much

> with schoolwork and homework. However, I wonder if

> its stimulant

> effect might not be making his OCD symptoms worse.

>

> I would really like to get into some type of

> behavorial therapy for

> my son, but feel that we must at least try to get

> his symptoms

> somewhat under control with medication first.

>

> My questions are:

>

> 1. Are there behavorial therapists that deal with

> childhood OCD in

> the Kansas City area? Where might I begin to find

> such a therapist?

>

> 2. Is it likely that the Adderal has heightened the

> OCD symptoms?

>

> 3. Is it safe to continue to increase the Luvox,

> which is what the

> psychiatrist is recommending?

>

> 4. Is there any medication for children that can be

> taken at the

> time of these meltdowns or anxiety attacks? He is

> unreasonable and

> emotionally out of control during them. They drain

> him mentally,

> emotionally and physically.

>

> 5. Finally, can you direct me to some good

> literature regarding this

> type of OCD. I read a lot about counting, hoarding

> and cleaning, but

> not as much on the type of problems my son suffers

> with as I've

> described above.

>

> Any information/direction you can provide is

> appreciated. Thanks for

> your consideration. My email address is:

> msmichelle@....

>

> Sincerely,

>

>

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hi Teddi, and welcome. I'm heading out the door, so my quick answer to your

question of how to determine if a child does have ocd or some other problem or

no problem at all is to take him to a psychiatrist who has experience with both

children and OCD and have him evaluated. Many of us have found that our peds

were not knowlegeable enough to diagnose or rule out OCD. Based on the symptoms

you mention that your son has, I think a professional evaluation would be a good

idea. As the mom of a now 8 yo who had an abrupt onset of OCD at 4 years, 11

months, I do recognize many of the behaviors your son has.

OCD is very treatable with a certain type of behavior therapy called Cognitive

Behavior Therapy with Exposure and Response Prevention. Some kids also take

medication to control their OCD symptoms, and some do both.

Take care,

Kathy R. in Indiana

Re: Excessive worry in 8 1/2 year old son

Hello everyone,

I have been reading many of your letters today and I can relate to so many of

you. This is the first time I am making contact with this group. I'm the mother

of an 7 1/2 year old son who I believe suffers from OCD in the form of excessive

worry/doubt, apologizing, washing hands, and seeking contant reasurance " is that

ok mommy? " He gets so distressed about little things. He cries about just about

anything that upsets him. I attended a local ocd support group last week and

they recommended this group. For years I thought that my son was just

" dramatic " . When his little hands started to bleed because of the constant

washing, I thought that there was something wrong. I have spoken to my son's

pediatrician twice recentley about the severe repetition and anxiety my son is

experiencing. He said that I should not put the wagon before the wheel. That he

does not have ocd. That the anxiety (life) is causing all the repetition, not

the repetition causing anxiety. He believes that it is normal for a young child

with changes in his life (death of great grandma, new school and new baby) to

respond by repetion. He asked me to not address the issues that my son brings

up, but to only talk about the feelings. I should ignore the issue or current

" thing " that my son is stuck on. He said I should say things and distract him

with things that make him feel good. Do whatever possible to not feed into the

anxiety. I have been trying this method all week, but my son makes remarks about

being ignored when I do not respond to his unresonable and irrational

statements. I hate to lable my son with ocd and to excuse his behaviors. How

does one really know if it is truly ocd? Please help. Any advice is greatly

appreciated.

Teddi

Vivian Stembridge wrote:

Hi ,

Welcome. I thought I would address your # 4 and 5

question.

Wouldn't it be nice if there was a " chill pill " ! When

our son was uncontrollable he was given Risperdal for

his rages.

One of the best lines of defense for getting the OCD

under control is the behavior therapy. So many things

factor into the behavior. How we react to them, is one

that can be a big trigger that sets up patterns of

enabling. Which leads me to # 5. I think that Aureens

Pinto Wagners book Worried No More, and Tamar Chankeys

book are excellent. Herb Gravitz book New Help for

the Family was a good one also. If the emotional

meltdowns are really bad I would recommend Dr. Greenes

book the Explosive Child. Each one of those books have

been great. Especially Worried No More which is brand

new,(from Lighthouse Press) and Freeing your Child

From OCD by Chansky.

This group has been like a rock for me. I have used it

for venting when there was no one else to understand

what our family was going through, and recieved much

needed support.

Again Welcome,

Vivian

4. Is there any medication for children that can be

taken at the

time of these meltdowns or anxiety attacks? He is

unreasonable and

emotionally out of control during them. They drain

him mentally,

emotionally and physically.

5. Finally, can you direct me to some good literature

regarding this

type of OCD. I read a lot about counting, hoarding

and cleaning, but

not as much on the type of problems my son suffers

with as I've

described above.

--- madamsboyers wrote:

> This is my first email to your group. I'm not

> exactly sure to whom I

> am writing, and if I have directed this to the wrong

> person(s),

> please forgive me and kindly redirect me.

>

> I'm the mother of an 8 1/2 year old son who suffers

> from OCD in the

> form of excessive worry/doubt. He seems to get in a

> cycle of worry

> at times and nothing any of us in the family say can

> calm the anxiety

> he is feeling until he is in fact done feeling that

> particular worry.

>

> Secondly, meltdowns. There is no pattern to when

> the meltdowns occur

> that we can tell, which makes our home like a

> ticking time bomb. The

> meltdowns occur in a situation where my son feels

> that something

> should go or be a certain way, but for whatever

> reason we are unable

> to make things be like that for him. For example,

> if we have left

> the house and he will have forgotten something he

> wanted to take

> along and we are too far from home to go back, he

> will get upset and

> escalate into a meltdown crying and screaming

> uncontrollably that he

> must have the thing he left. These situations can

> take up to an hour

> for him to come down from. Essentially he just

> wears out from being

> so upset. We try being stern and understanding, or

> to explain or

> even bring to his attention that it is not his fault

> he is feeling so

> compelled about the " thing " he is obsessing over,

> that it is the OCD

> that is making him feel that way. Thus far, we're

> apparently not

> doing or saying the right things and therefore the

> entire household

> has to wait out the meltdown. Afterwards, my son is

> left exhausted

> and feeling guilty and ashamed for having been so

> out of control.

>

> These obsessive thoughts and intrusive thoughts that

> occur over and

> over, or the need to apologize or check things with

> me over and over

> has been diagnosed as OCD by two different

> psychiatrists and our

> family physician. My son is being treated with 50

> mg of Luvox in the

> morning and another 50 mg at night. In addition, he

> has just been

> diagnosed with ADD - innattentive form, and

> therefore is also taking

> 10 mg of Adderal XR every morning. The Adderal has

> helped so much

> with schoolwork and homework. However, I wonder if

> its stimulant

> effect might not be making his OCD symptoms worse.

>

> I would really like to get into some type of

> behavorial therapy for

> my son, but feel that we must at least try to get

> his symptoms

> somewhat under control with medication first.

>

> My questions are:

>

> 1. Are there behavorial therapists that deal with

> childhood OCD in

> the Kansas City area? Where might I begin to find

> such a therapist?

>

> 2. Is it likely that the Adderal has heightened the

> OCD symptoms?

>

> 3. Is it safe to continue to increase the Luvox,

> which is what the

> psychiatrist is recommending?

>

> 4. Is there any medication for children that can be

> taken at the

> time of these meltdowns or anxiety attacks? He is

> unreasonable and

> emotionally out of control during them. They drain

> him mentally,

> emotionally and physically.

>

> 5. Finally, can you direct me to some good

> literature regarding this

> type of OCD. I read a lot about counting, hoarding

> and cleaning, but

> not as much on the type of problems my son suffers

> with as I've

> described above.

>

> Any information/direction you can provide is

> appreciated. Thanks for

> your consideration. My email address is:

> msmichelle@....

>

> Sincerely,

>

>

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hi Teddi, and welcome. I'm heading out the door, so my quick answer to your

question of how to determine if a child does have ocd or some other problem or

no problem at all is to take him to a psychiatrist who has experience with both

children and OCD and have him evaluated. Many of us have found that our peds

were not knowlegeable enough to diagnose or rule out OCD. Based on the symptoms

you mention that your son has, I think a professional evaluation would be a good

idea. As the mom of a now 8 yo who had an abrupt onset of OCD at 4 years, 11

months, I do recognize many of the behaviors your son has.

OCD is very treatable with a certain type of behavior therapy called Cognitive

Behavior Therapy with Exposure and Response Prevention. Some kids also take

medication to control their OCD symptoms, and some do both.

Take care,

Kathy R. in Indiana

Re: Excessive worry in 8 1/2 year old son

Hello everyone,

I have been reading many of your letters today and I can relate to so many of

you. This is the first time I am making contact with this group. I'm the mother

of an 7 1/2 year old son who I believe suffers from OCD in the form of excessive

worry/doubt, apologizing, washing hands, and seeking contant reasurance " is that

ok mommy? " He gets so distressed about little things. He cries about just about

anything that upsets him. I attended a local ocd support group last week and

they recommended this group. For years I thought that my son was just

" dramatic " . When his little hands started to bleed because of the constant

washing, I thought that there was something wrong. I have spoken to my son's

pediatrician twice recentley about the severe repetition and anxiety my son is

experiencing. He said that I should not put the wagon before the wheel. That he

does not have ocd. That the anxiety (life) is causing all the repetition, not

the repetition causing anxiety. He believes that it is normal for a young child

with changes in his life (death of great grandma, new school and new baby) to

respond by repetion. He asked me to not address the issues that my son brings

up, but to only talk about the feelings. I should ignore the issue or current

" thing " that my son is stuck on. He said I should say things and distract him

with things that make him feel good. Do whatever possible to not feed into the

anxiety. I have been trying this method all week, but my son makes remarks about

being ignored when I do not respond to his unresonable and irrational

statements. I hate to lable my son with ocd and to excuse his behaviors. How

does one really know if it is truly ocd? Please help. Any advice is greatly

appreciated.

Teddi

Vivian Stembridge wrote:

Hi ,

Welcome. I thought I would address your # 4 and 5

question.

Wouldn't it be nice if there was a " chill pill " ! When

our son was uncontrollable he was given Risperdal for

his rages.

One of the best lines of defense for getting the OCD

under control is the behavior therapy. So many things

factor into the behavior. How we react to them, is one

that can be a big trigger that sets up patterns of

enabling. Which leads me to # 5. I think that Aureens

Pinto Wagners book Worried No More, and Tamar Chankeys

book are excellent. Herb Gravitz book New Help for

the Family was a good one also. If the emotional

meltdowns are really bad I would recommend Dr. Greenes

book the Explosive Child. Each one of those books have

been great. Especially Worried No More which is brand

new,(from Lighthouse Press) and Freeing your Child

From OCD by Chansky.

This group has been like a rock for me. I have used it

for venting when there was no one else to understand

what our family was going through, and recieved much

needed support.

Again Welcome,

Vivian

4. Is there any medication for children that can be

taken at the

time of these meltdowns or anxiety attacks? He is

unreasonable and

emotionally out of control during them. They drain

him mentally,

emotionally and physically.

5. Finally, can you direct me to some good literature

regarding this

type of OCD. I read a lot about counting, hoarding

and cleaning, but

not as much on the type of problems my son suffers

with as I've

described above.

--- madamsboyers wrote:

> This is my first email to your group. I'm not

> exactly sure to whom I

> am writing, and if I have directed this to the wrong

> person(s),

> please forgive me and kindly redirect me.

>

> I'm the mother of an 8 1/2 year old son who suffers

> from OCD in the

> form of excessive worry/doubt. He seems to get in a

> cycle of worry

> at times and nothing any of us in the family say can

> calm the anxiety

> he is feeling until he is in fact done feeling that

> particular worry.

>

> Secondly, meltdowns. There is no pattern to when

> the meltdowns occur

> that we can tell, which makes our home like a

> ticking time bomb. The

> meltdowns occur in a situation where my son feels

> that something

> should go or be a certain way, but for whatever

> reason we are unable

> to make things be like that for him. For example,

> if we have left

> the house and he will have forgotten something he

> wanted to take

> along and we are too far from home to go back, he

> will get upset and

> escalate into a meltdown crying and screaming

> uncontrollably that he

> must have the thing he left. These situations can

> take up to an hour

> for him to come down from. Essentially he just

> wears out from being

> so upset. We try being stern and understanding, or

> to explain or

> even bring to his attention that it is not his fault

> he is feeling so

> compelled about the " thing " he is obsessing over,

> that it is the OCD

> that is making him feel that way. Thus far, we're

> apparently not

> doing or saying the right things and therefore the

> entire household

> has to wait out the meltdown. Afterwards, my son is

> left exhausted

> and feeling guilty and ashamed for having been so

> out of control.

>

> These obsessive thoughts and intrusive thoughts that

> occur over and

> over, or the need to apologize or check things with

> me over and over

> has been diagnosed as OCD by two different

> psychiatrists and our

> family physician. My son is being treated with 50

> mg of Luvox in the

> morning and another 50 mg at night. In addition, he

> has just been

> diagnosed with ADD - innattentive form, and

> therefore is also taking

> 10 mg of Adderal XR every morning. The Adderal has

> helped so much

> with schoolwork and homework. However, I wonder if

> its stimulant

> effect might not be making his OCD symptoms worse.

>

> I would really like to get into some type of

> behavorial therapy for

> my son, but feel that we must at least try to get

> his symptoms

> somewhat under control with medication first.

>

> My questions are:

>

> 1. Are there behavorial therapists that deal with

> childhood OCD in

> the Kansas City area? Where might I begin to find

> such a therapist?

>

> 2. Is it likely that the Adderal has heightened the

> OCD symptoms?

>

> 3. Is it safe to continue to increase the Luvox,

> which is what the

> psychiatrist is recommending?

>

> 4. Is there any medication for children that can be

> taken at the

> time of these meltdowns or anxiety attacks? He is

> unreasonable and

> emotionally out of control during them. They drain

> him mentally,

> emotionally and physically.

>

> 5. Finally, can you direct me to some good

> literature regarding this

> type of OCD. I read a lot about counting, hoarding

> and cleaning, but

> not as much on the type of problems my son suffers

> with as I've

> described above.

>

> Any information/direction you can provide is

> appreciated. Thanks for

> your consideration. My email address is:

> msmichelle@....

>

> Sincerely,

>

>

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hi Teddi!

My now 11 year old son was a major hand-washer too! And, he was (and

still is to some extent) a major " reassurance seeker. " Last year,

before medication, it would go something like this: " Mom, am I ever

going to get sick? Are you sure? How do you know? Will I get a

germ? Am I going to throw up?... " He asked these 'sick/throw-up'

questions all day long, till I thought I would go insane!

When he was 5, OCD hit overnight and it started like this: " Mom, do

you love me? Do you love me, Mom? Mom-- do you love me? " over and

over again. It made me feel so horrible! Not knowing ANYTHING about

OCD, I thought I had damaged his self-esteem somehow!! Then, I

thought he had a hearing problem and I took him to a hearing

specialist!! His OCD got worse every year until he showering way

too long every morning, making him chronically late for school, and

also wiping so much in the bathroom that he was bleeding and raw! I

had no idea what I was dealing with (I had never seen this kind of

behavior before) so I set out to find some answers and read

every 'disorder' book I could find. I was so desperate for answers,

friends and relatives started to tell me that *I* was the one with

the problem because I obsessed with OCD! *shrugs* When we love

someone, we do what it takes to get the answers we need.

's anxiety started at age 5, right after we moved to a new house

(only 10 miles away), and it got progessively worse with each year. I

finally caved in and took him to a psychiatrist at age 9. I wish I

had done so earlier because children are easier to treat the younger

they are. 's OCD was so progressive by the time we sought

treatment, medication was needed BEFORE we tried therapy because it

would have been a waste of time while he was so extremely anxious.

We got him calmed down on meds, and started CBT/ERP.

This group has helped me tremendously, especially with dealing with

the reassurance questions. I have learned that the more I answered

his questions - the worse it gets. I thought I was calming him down

and trying to make him feel more secure- nope. What we are actually

doing when we answer an irrational, OCD question is *feeding the

fear* and giving it more power. Try to slowly back out of answering

the *irrational* questions (that you've answered 100 times) by

saying, " I'll answer that question once and ONLY once. " Then, walk

away. Later, with the help of a trained CBT therapist, you may want

to try a behavior chart where the goal is not asking reassurance

questions (or 'fear questions'). The child gets rewarded when he's

had a reassurance-free day!

Remember, OCD isn't your fault, nor your child's fault. It's simply

a chemical imbalance. The way it was explained to me is that the

child has the OCD gene, and something stressful in our environment

triggers it (and that could be anything). Please don't beat yourself

up. OCD didn't happen because you worked outside of the home, or was

a stay-at-home mom, or because you're a bad parent, or you fought

with your husband, or he fell off your bed when he was a baby, or you

breast fed him too long, or you didn't breast feed him, or he had a

bad babysitter, .... or any other thing our minds can come up with.

OCD is no one's fault.

Kathy, as always, gave you some great advise about having your son

assessed by a *child psychiatrist* instead of his pediatrician.

Heck, I've met some trained therapists that have no idea how to treat

OCD! I called my county mental health once to inquire about an OCD

support group, and the woman that answered the phone said, " What's

OCD? " I said, " Umm, this IS the mental health department, right? "

Geez...

Stay strong, stay educated, and get plenty of 'me time!'

Joni

P.S. is now on Risperdal for his moodiness and meltdowns (this

medication has almost eliminated those horrible rages!) and,

Anafranil for the OCD. He was on Luvox for the OCD for several

months, but the medication lost it's effectiveness over time, and

pooped out. The Anafranil seems to be working at this writing

and has had a great week. He even got married this week!!

It was so funny-- he came home BEAMING and said that " " loves

him and the entire 4th grade was going to marry them on the

playground! It was so cute! Not long ago, my son didn't have any

friends and was so tortured by OCD, I didn't think he'd ever get

better. And now... he's the stud of the playground....

>

> Hello everyone,

> I have been reading many of your letters today and I can relate to

so many of you. This is the first time I am making contact with this

group. I'm the mother of an 7 1/2 year old son who I believe suffers

from OCD in the form of excessive worry/doubt, apologizing, washing

hands, and seeking contant reasurance " is that ok mommy? " He gets so

distressed about little things.