refusal to see therapist

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

It's possible that if you make the therapist not optional (not easy

with a thirteen year old, but there must be something she cares enough about

- her acne meds? just kidding... to not want taken away) that the therapist

will eventually convince that therapy is worthwhile. Therapists are

certainly used to people resisting them, especially therapists trained to

treat OCD, and a good one could be quite adept at working her way into

's good graces. Annie HATED seeing her therapist when we first started

because it's anxiety-provoking, embarassing, etc. and I had several talks

with the therapist about this. She said it's completely normal. And now Annie

almost enjoys going - she confides in Dr. K. about her OCD stuff that she

won't even tell me, and seems to like getting stuff off her chest. But it

took over a year to get to this point. They work on non-OCD related stuff too

which helps (social issues at school and the like).

I think most kids are amazed and relieved to discover that

therapists have heard it all before and really DO understand. They just don't

buy into that ahead of time.

Hope this helps -

[Guest guest]

we've had this problem with our previous therapist, but since she was

too far away to continue seeing during the school year, I let it go.

Since the summer I have been looking for the right therapist, and

finally found her. My daughter (-13) agreed to see her once, but

refuses to see her anymore, or I believe if I do convince her to go

she simply will not communicate. When we saw the therapist together

(for half the appt, and then alone with her for the 2nd half)

gave totally non-committal or one word answers. She says she

simply will not miss school anymore and therefore will not need

therapy. However, she spent the beginning of our Christmas vacation

hiding in her room (my parents are visiting) because she looks like

a " lizard " and her skin needs to get better. This is her version of

BDD in my opinion (which includes rituals like peeling her skin, and

applying make-up for a long time) because her skin really looks fine-

not flawless, but fine, better than many teens with mild breakouts,

in fact. She was also off her medication (minocyclin) for " acne "

prior to the Christmas break b/c the prescription had run out. She

had not had any anxiety related absences for the time she was on it

(since before Thanksgiving). She is back on it now and better again.

I don't know if the minocyclin has some possible therapeutic effect

on her OCD (which may be pandas OCD) beyond treating acne, or if she

imagines (magical thinking) that while she is on it her skin looks

much better, and if she goes off it her skin will look awful, while

to anyone else there is no discernible difference. Anyway, these

questions indicate to me that she still needs therapy, and I need for

her to get therapy, to get some pressure off of me, plus the problem

of me acting as intermediary between her and her dad- their

relationship has totally broken down, and he blames me, and she

blames him. She thinks she does not need therapy, because she does

not have a " disorder " just the problems that anyone would have if no

one liked them, and their skin looked " awful " and they had too much

exhaustion to keep up from day to day. So has anyone else had a teen

who refused therapy? (Needless to say also refuses to see a

psychiatrist, I thought the therapist might be a less threatening

start for her).

P.s just wondering, has Melinda been back here at all? It was her

teen son who refused meds or therapy, I think, and who seemed to have

a possible eating disorder, and/or excercize obsession.

Grace