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Thanks Jami,

Maybe I was exagerating when I said that I wouldnt get to the

maintenance plan until a few years. I just dont want to stop until I

see the six pack, the deltoids, the butt-dents...that will be my

victory. I feel I'm gonna get there, and then I'll go through the

psycho-babble of my body not being able to deal with its new form.

If it isnt one thing, its another!

But thats why I " m on this board, to deal with challenges like the

holidays? family/party challenges? My brain can't wrap around that

yet...exactly what to do for maintenance? cant process that

information yet either.

I just may end up with a straight jacket if I consider the

possibility of not seeing a major change in the next few months. My

body is going thru an EARLY menstrual cycle (3 weeks between), I'm

usually 4-5 weeks between. Its certainly taking its toll, cuz

I cant measure any progress this week- no scales/tapes/calipers.

Get me away from all men, chocolate, and teary-movies.

:-P

--

>

> , I think it's a mistake to plan on Maintenance after a

few years! The overwhelming advice around (even from BFL King

himself) is to take a break every once in awhile. 2 weeks per Bill,

in between each challenge. Dabble in Maintenance, refeed, fool your

body into thinking that you're going to eat more calories for awhile.

>

> I will tell you, it's super tough mentally. I questioned every

minute - am I rebounding? Am I going to put all that fat back on?

NO! You are teaching your body to lean out, then metabolize more

for awhile, then you will lean out again. You may even choose to

Maintain from Thanksgiving to New Year's, I hear that's very common.

>

> I had to think it thru every single day, 10x/day. I had to

reassure myself. And I only did it for 1 week (the oiginal plan

was for 2 weeks but I think I need to work up to that!). I couldn't

take it any longer. I'm going to try again in the middle of my mini-

challenges this summer. It's an important thing to work out in my

head so I think I will keep adding it to the To Do list.

>

> I think it's a good time to rethink a new workout routine, try

some new recipes, socialize/eat out, etc. Reevaluate your goals and

remotivate yourself to get going again. My favorite part was wine

with dinner! ;-)

>

> After a few days back to low cal eating I checked the scale (up

a few lbs) and bodyfat (stayed the same!) and I'm calm again. But,

I think realistically next time I will give my body a full week of

eating low cal again before checking the results of my refeed. I'm

pretty sure a bunch of the weight gain is water.

>

> Good luck to you!

>

> Jami

>

> __________________________________________________

>

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Whoa.. I should take a break between challenges? Should I eat maintanence

calories or what? That would beo sooo nice if I could take a break because I

have finals this week and then I'm taking a seminar all next week and it's going

to be really hard to eat and work out perfectly...

Maintenance,

, I think it's a mistake to plan on Maintenance after a few years!

The overwhelming advice around (even from BFL King himself) is to take a break

every once in awhile. 2 weeks per Bill, in between each challenge. Dabble in

Maintenance, refeed, fool your body into thinking that you're going to eat more

calories for awhile.

I will tell you, it's super tough mentally. I questioned every minute - am I

rebounding? Am I going to put all that fat back on? NO! You are teaching your

body to lean out, then metabolize more for awhile, then you will lean out again.

You may even choose to Maintain from Thanksgiving to New Year's, I hear that's

very common.

I had to think it thru every single day, 10x/day. I had to reassure myself.

And I only did it for 1 week (the oiginal plan was for 2 weeks but I think I

need to work up to that!). I couldn't take it any longer. I'm going to try again

in the middle of my mini-challenges this summer. It's an important thing to work

out in my head so I think I will keep adding it to the To Do list.

I think it's a good time to rethink a new workout routine, try some new

recipes, socialize/eat out, etc. Reevaluate your goals and remotivate yourself

to get going again. My favorite part was wine with dinner! ;-)

After a few days back to low cal eating I checked the scale (up a few lbs) and

bodyfat (stayed the same!) and I'm calm again. But, I think realistically next

time I will give my body a full week of eating low cal again before checking the

results of my refeed. I'm pretty sure a bunch of the weight gain is water.

Good luck to you!

Jami

__________________________________________________

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Plenty of Body for Lifers don't break it down into challenges at all,

but if you are doing consecutive 12 week challenges, it's a good idea

to take a short break between them. Bill recommended a week

off after every 12 weeks. This doesn't mean a week-long binge where

you go back to your old habits, eat everything in sight, and don't

move off of the sofa. It just means easing up a little. Maybe doing

moderate or recreational cardio instead of HIIT. Taking a week totally

off of the heavy weights. Trying a new class at the gym or a yoga DVD

at home. Being a little more relaxed with your food. Enjoying some

treats.

People who go from one grueling challenge straight to the next without

taking any kind of a break tend to get burned out and resentful.

They're more prone to injuries, illness, boredom, frustration, and

cheating on the food. Use your week between challenges to relax and be

good to yourself - buy smaller clothes, get a new haircut, set new

goals, research new exercises and recipes, try some fun new activity,

evaluate your last challenge and plan your next one, just generally

get your head together and get ready to go again. That way you'll

start your next 12 weeks rested and ready to go.

You will get better results if you're not trying to hit 10s and lift

heavier on every single workout from now until the end of time. You

can't keep up that kind of intensity for months and years with no

break. There needs to be some periodization to your workouts, some

kind of variation in your intensity between hard, moderate, and easy.

If your intensity is always full-blast, then it's extra-important to

throw in an easy week occasionally so you don't burn out and stall.

If you're doing BFL by the book, I would say definitely back off on

the heavy weights and HIIT for the week, even if you decide to keep

eating clean and being generally active.

> Whoa.. I should take a break between challenges? Should I eat maintanence

calories or what? That would beo sooo nice if I could take a break because I

have finals this week and then I'm taking a seminar all next week and it's going

to be really hard to eat and work out perfectly...

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Alright, cool... thank you very much! I am spending the week just being active

as I feel like it, a walk here, a nice little job there, I think I'll go

rollerblading in awhile... I'm still trying to eat well and I'm still recording

my calories and all that, but I think my body really needs a rest from HIIT and

heavy weights!

Plus I'm having fun learning about other programs and things like that... and

between finals and seminars and my parents moving and me being potentially

homeless real soon, I need a break!!

Re: Maintenance,

Plenty of Body for Lifers don't break it down into challenges at all,

but if you are doing consecutive 12 week challenges, it's a good idea

to take a short break between them. Bill recommended a week

off after every 12 weeks. This doesn't mean a week-long binge where

you go back to your old habits, eat everything in sight, and don't

move off of the sofa. It just means easing up a little. Maybe doing

moderate or recreational cardio instead of HIIT. Taking a week totally

off of the heavy weights. Trying a new class at the gym or a yoga DVD

at home. Being a little more relaxed with your food. Enjoying some

treats.

People who go from one grueling challenge straight to the next without

taking any kind of a break tend to get burned out and resentful.

They're more prone to injuries, illness, boredom, frustration, and

cheating on the food. Use your week between challenges to relax and be

good to yourself - buy smaller clothes, get a new haircut, set new

goals, research new exercises and recipes, try some fun new activity,

evaluate your last challenge and plan your next one, just generally

get your head together and get ready to go again. That way you'll

start your next 12 weeks rested and ready to go.

You will get better results if you're not trying to hit 10s and lift

heavier on every single workout from now until the end of time. You

can't keep up that kind of intensity for months and years with no

break. There needs to be some periodization to your workouts, some

kind of variation in your intensity between hard, moderate, and easy.

If your intensity is always full-blast, then it's extra-important to

throw in an easy week occasionally so you don't burn out and stall.

If you're doing BFL by the book, I would say definitely back off on

the heavy weights and HIIT for the week, even if you decide to keep

eating clean and being generally active.

> Whoa.. I should take a break between challenges? Should I eat maintanence

calories or what? That would beo sooo nice if I could take a break because I

have finals this week and then I'm taking a seminar all next week and it's going

to be really hard to eat and work out perfectly...

-->

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I've re-read this like 4 times now,

YES Id like to imagine the day when I'm not going bonkers, but

instead find myself eased-up and still on track. But while I'm being

totally honest here, I sometimes find that I'm using this challenge

as an " exit " , a term used when I need a legitimate excuse to cancel

obligations with people close to me. I have to say that all of this

learning/time at the gym/cooking/ and saying " no " to things is

making me feel very selfish!

Id like to learn skills that will help me lead a more balanced life,

so that the ones close to me and doing spontaneous things are no

longer monkey-wrenches that make me bitter.

Here's a question:

HOW do people continue to eat so clean, 6 times a day if the husband

doesnt? I'm at the stage right now where I'm just dating people, and

it is a downright turnOFF if the guy isnt at least half as aware of

nutrition and exercise as I am...my imagination for what his body

will look like in the future goes into a whirlwind. It just seems

that if it is a LIFESTYLE, then the bills, the refridgerator and the

time at the gym are gonna have to be shared with the man in my life.

I might be dramatic here, but maintenance is a world Ive never

known. It involves A LOT! lol

--

> > Whoa.. I should take a break between challenges? Should I eat

maintanence calories or what? That would beo sooo nice if I could

take a break because I have finals this week and then I'm taking a

seminar all next week and it's going to be really hard to eat and

work out perfectly...

>

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I've been happily married for about 15 years now. My husband has never

been a Body for Lifer, never eaten clean, never eaten 6 meals a day,

never joined a gym. I don't have any problem with that at all,

probably because he's also brutally active, very healthy, fully

supportive of me, and he's never been above 10% fat in his life. You

can be perfectly compatible with someone without " converting " them, so

to speak. It's not like the relationship is doomed if you can't feed

him six protein and carb balanced meals and drag him to the gym every

day. There are lots of different approaches fitness and health. All

you really need is somebody who loves and supports you and has a

general desire not to turn into a big slug.

Flexible maintenance isn't nearly as complex as you're making it out

to be. I still go out to dinner, have popcorn at the movies, and eat

cake at birthday parties. I may or may not participate in the catered

food and rampant pizza-ordering at work. Depends on my mood and the

state of my abs. I still spend lots of time with all types of people,

even ones who (gasp!) don't workout or eat right. It doesn't matter

one bit what other people do, or whether they share your views about

fitness. It's not like they can make you fat by osmosis. And believe

it or not, your guy doesn't have to become some kind of a robot gym

rat in order to be healthy and maintain his weight. :-)

> I've re-read this like 4 times now,

> YES Id like to imagine the day when I'm not going bonkers, but

> instead find myself eased-up and still on track. But while I'm being

> totally honest here, I sometimes find that I'm using this challenge

> as an " exit " , a term used when I need a legitimate excuse to cancel

> obligations with people close to me. I have to say that all of this

> learning/time at the gym/cooking/ and saying " no " to things is

> making me feel very selfish!

>

> Id like to learn skills that will help me lead a more balanced life,

> so that the ones close to me and doing spontaneous things are no

> longer monkey-wrenches that make me bitter.

>

> Here's a question:

>

> HOW do people continue to eat so clean, 6 times a day if the husband

> doesnt? I'm at the stage right now where I'm just dating people, and

> it is a downright turnOFF if the guy isnt at least half as aware of

> nutrition and exercise as I am...my imagination for what his body

> will look like in the future goes into a whirlwind. It just seems

> that if it is a LIFESTYLE, then the bills, the refridgerator and the

> time at the gym are gonna have to be shared with the man in my life.

>

> I might be dramatic here, but maintenance is a world Ive never

> known. It involves A LOT! lol

>

> --

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I've been happily married for about 15 years now. My husband has never

been a Body for Lifer, never eaten clean, never eaten 6 meals a day,

never joined a gym. I don't have any problem with that at all,

probably because he's also brutally active, very healthy, fully

supportive of me, and he's never been above 10% fat in his life. You

can be perfectly compatible with someone without " converting " them, so

to speak. It's not like the relationship is doomed if you can't feed

him six protein and carb balanced meals and drag him to the gym every

day. There are lots of different approaches fitness and health. All

you really need is somebody who loves and supports you and has a

general desire not to turn into a big slug.

Flexible maintenance isn't nearly as complex as you're making it out

to be. I still go out to dinner, have popcorn at the movies, and eat

cake at birthday parties. I may or may not participate in the catered

food and rampant pizza-ordering at work. Depends on my mood and the

state of my abs. I still spend lots of time with all types of people,

even ones who (gasp!) don't workout or eat right. It doesn't matter

one bit what other people do, or whether they share your views about

fitness. It's not like they can make you fat by osmosis. And believe

it or not, your guy doesn't have to become some kind of a robot gym

rat in order to be healthy and maintain his weight. :-)

> I've re-read this like 4 times now,

> YES Id like to imagine the day when I'm not going bonkers, but

> instead find myself eased-up and still on track. But while I'm being

> totally honest here, I sometimes find that I'm using this challenge

> as an " exit " , a term used when I need a legitimate excuse to cancel

> obligations with people close to me. I have to say that all of this

> learning/time at the gym/cooking/ and saying " no " to things is

> making me feel very selfish!

>

> Id like to learn skills that will help me lead a more balanced life,

> so that the ones close to me and doing spontaneous things are no

> longer monkey-wrenches that make me bitter.

>

> Here's a question:

>

> HOW do people continue to eat so clean, 6 times a day if the husband

> doesnt? I'm at the stage right now where I'm just dating people, and

> it is a downright turnOFF if the guy isnt at least half as aware of

> nutrition and exercise as I am...my imagination for what his body

> will look like in the future goes into a whirlwind. It just seems

> that if it is a LIFESTYLE, then the bills, the refridgerator and the

> time at the gym are gonna have to be shared with the man in my life.

>

> I might be dramatic here, but maintenance is a world Ive never

> known. It involves A LOT! lol

>

> --

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, I echo 's comments. I've been with the same guy for

23 years and he totally supports me. I've quit telling him my

workout and eating plans, because he isnt really interested. He

definitely has a different philosophy about nutrition and exercise

than I do.

The reason it works is because (1) he knows I am happier when I

workout, so he supports me when I have gym/workout time. (2) he

knows I am happier when I eat 'clean'. He does most of the cooking

and often modifies recipes so they are more compatible with my way

of eating. This doesnt mean he eats the same exact way though. He

will eat more pasta than me and fewer vegetables at dinner, for eg.

He'll add lots of cheese, I'll have a small bit. He'll have dessert

with the kids, and I'll stick to sugar free cocoa.

And I am flexible at times when we are out, but for the most part I

just make wise choices. Order a salad, get the dressing on the

side. Mineral water with lemon, skip the beer. Grilled fish, pass

on the burger and fries. Share a bit of his dessert, enjoy a nofat

latte. Life is good.

> I've been happily married for about 15 years now. My husband has

never

> been a Body for Lifer, never eaten clean, never eaten 6 meals a

day,

> never joined a gym. I don't have any problem with that at all,

> probably because he's also brutally active, very healthy, fully

> supportive of me, and he's never been above 10% fat in his life.

You

> can be perfectly compatible with someone without " converting "

them, so

> to speak. It's not like the relationship is doomed if you can't

feed

> him six protein and carb balanced meals and drag him to the gym

every

> day. There are lots of different approaches fitness and health. All

> you really need is somebody who loves and supports you and has a

> general desire not to turn into a big slug.

>

> Flexible maintenance isn't nearly as complex as you're making it

out

> to be. I still go out to dinner, have popcorn at the movies, and

eat

> cake at birthday parties. I may or may not participate in the

catered

> food and rampant pizza-ordering at work. Depends on my mood and the

> state of my abs. I still spend lots of time with all types of

people,

> even ones who (gasp!) don't workout or eat right. It doesn't matter

> one bit what other people do, or whether they share your views

about

> fitness. It's not like they can make you fat by osmosis. And

believe

> it or not, your guy doesn't have to become some kind of a robot gym

> rat in order to be healthy and maintain his weight. :-)

>

>

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Hi , I think the secret to my success is we never did get

married. lol

My 'husband' (too silly to call him a boyfriend at this stage in the

game) are high school sweethearts. We dated, broke up for a short

time, got back together and have been together ever since. Things

sort of evolved for us, we moved in together when I was in

university and he was working. We are totally different in many

respects --- I got 2 degrees from university and he went to art

school! He is tattooed with a shaved head and sort of 'edgy', I work

in the corporate world. We have 2 wonderful children, a house

together, etc. I'm not big on weddings and the 'event' so we just

never got around to it.

From a health perspective, we evolved together too. I was lazy in

high school, and lived off of chocolate and fries, and drank too

much alcohol. In university I became an aerobics bunny and did the

high carb-no fat thing. Then I picked up weight training and started

to eat South Beach, now BFL. He's adjusted to all of the different

trends/plans I've followed. The only thing he doesnt like about BFL

is the use of protein powders (he thinks I should be able to get

everything I need from real food), and the heavy emphasis on protein

(he is more of a believer in all-natural food, not the macro

nutrient ratios). I just eat the way I want and he leaves me

alone. ;-)

He isnt working out the way he used to (at one time he lifted heavy

and turned into a massive guy, lots of natural testosterone). I

know I would prefer it if he did do more for health reasons (he has

high blood pressure). But there is no use nagging someone, he knows

how I feel and the rest is up to him to decide.

I'm not so sure I would end up with a gym rat if I were on the

dating scene today. A big part of being with someone is having the

same core values, same politics/religious point of view, same ideas

about having children and raising them. I wouldnt be able to get

along with someone who ate fast food all the time and sat on the

couch with the remote drinking beer all day. But if the person is

compatible with me, has a similar sense of humour, enjoys

quality/healthy food and is active in daily life, then I think I'd

be ok. The gym is only 30-45 mins per day if that. The rest of the

time is what is important...a smoker would be out, someone who would

enjoy riding their bike or going for a hike would be in.

Just my random thoughts.

> >

> > , I echo 's comments. I've been with the same guy

> for

> > 23 years and he totally supports me. I've quit telling him my

> > workout and eating plans, because he isnt really interested. He

> > definitely has a different philosophy about nutrition and

exercise

> > than I do.

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: Well here's my opinion. When my husband & I were married

for about a year we discovered BFL because another couple was doing

it. My hubby is the kind of person that gets obsessed with something

and will read everything he can get his hands on about it. So he

dove into fitness and body building, etc. We looked great for our

2nd anniversary in Jamiaca!! but his attention was soon averted to

something else and he dove into that obsessively and fitness fell by

the wayside. In the meantime, I am still eating per BFL and I still

workout every day...he doesn't! He's gained back all the weight and

then some & smokes. Don't get me wrong I love him to death but man,

I get so frustated because I know how important good health is. I

know he's happy that I have kept my weight off and I still workout

and I look hot (to him at least haha!!). I know he'd be upset if I

stopped and got fat. So how is it fair that he expects me to look

good when he won't! I've tried telling him " hey, u really need to

get back into working out " but we all know that people can't be told

what to do. SO in conclusion, I do recommend finding a guy that

takes health seriously because after all you will be with him until

old age (hopefully) & you want to be healthy in your old age so u

can enjoy life longer.

Blessings

>

> You gals have definitely defied the odds just by staying married

for

> over a decade (divorce rate is uh-hem! HIGH these days) I'm

trying

> to find out what is important in my life, and Id like to see this

> area of fitness as a good thing for me and my best-friend/lover to

> share. Am currently 'shopping' between a 5th degree black-belt, a

> Pro body builder, and a " big slug " type who likes to lift

wine,forks

> and me. There's no in-betweeners, as you can see.

>

> I know you wouldnt even consider this thought: but if you HAD to

> date a new guy right now in your current quest for ultimate

fitness,

> (I KNOW ITS AN ABSURD QUESTION)

> Wouldn't you date someone that you could share the experience

with?

> Or maybe its like a lawyer dating another lawyer, or two CEOs

> dating? I can see how it might be too much of one thing for a

> household. Opposites do attract, and there's no easy answer

to " the

> click " when a relationship works- balance, and blah blah. Nothing

> teaches us life's lessons better than the one you love and loves

you.

>

> Its good to hear from women like you, in different lands and

> different stages in life. My own girlfriends, are duh! SINGLE and

> cannot really offer advice on how this works in the long term...

> (btw, they're all cardio/starving bunnies) We DO share one idea

> though, and that is not to date a man purely for $$. Find

something

> better about him :0)

>

> Don't even get me started on Sex and the City.

>

> --

>

>

>

>

>

> >

>

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