Guest guest Posted January 29, 2007 Report Share Posted January 29, 2007 >>Excellent response I think they have handled this very well. Lets face it they >>cannot be help responsible for idiots that do this. They seem to be doing and >>have done all the y possibly can. Yes, I agree, they were quite reticent on the phone yesterday. The only thing that bugs me is the line in the Dorset Echo that they issued saying that this was an *isolated incident*. What rubbish. It was clearly systematic bullying with group participation. I'm sure by the time the bullies got around to videoing there was already a well established and entrenched pattern of perpetration although I realise the school couldn't possibly issue a statement saying that systematic bullying had been going on, no doubt they must minimise, minimise, minimise the damage. I sincerely hope they all learn a lifelong lesson from this. Darla Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 My 11yr old is out of school at the moment for bullying. Since he has been home I have heard more and more of the story he has been keeping to himself. He told me there were many occasions when the ringleader would have a fair crowd round my sons desk teasing him and harrassing, he said this was done when the teacher was in the room! Often there would have been a TA present also. I am keeping him home edded from now on as this school quite clearly has no policy on bullying and in the past when my son has spoken up they have disbelieved him. My son has that Asperger trait of total honesty and no behaviour problems, but try telling a school your child never lies and see if they believe you. I wanted him in school for the benefit of social skills and not to become isolated, but really, what social skills is he learning? How isolating is it to be called "freak" by an entire class. Everywhere I take him we encounter problems, not necessarily bullying but definitely being left out of things, friendless, school is worse of all though as it is most definitely out and out bullying, and I just won't have it! Vicky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 Vicky and Bloody Hell, where to begin... I have just heard the saddest story ever on the fone from a grandparent whose daughter has removed her child from a school because of problems, God it never ends does it... Vicky, I am no expert but if I can help in anyway Education wise I will happily try... Thinking of you all. Luv Caroline xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 this is so lovely thank you for sharing it with us... It can be done, we can change things for the better with effort for sure, its just so tiring sometimes I think thats the biggest issue sometimes... A lovely story, can we get Marge onto compiling a bullying file too cos this is really important stuff taht needs to be collated. Lotsa Luv and hugs to all you fabby mums (and dads) Caroline xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 Her job is to "spin", let's face it. >>I found her rude on the phone yesterday, it was her I spoke to, I was deffo being a nuisance to her................ Mandi x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 Aww thanks Caroline, a drink and natter at conference would do me the world of good, so make sure and get em in lol. Vicky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 >>I totally second the suggestion of asking them to send you the results of the >>investigation. I don't love that it was the Director of Marketing who wrote you, >>rather than someone high up in Admin. Her job is to "spin", let's face it. Yes, I agree, Abigail. I had thought of contacting the anti-bullying charity again to find out exactly what pressure we should be putting on the school. If we could find out exactly what needs to be done in this instance then we can post action emails to other boards and get further pressure on the school to issue new guidelines on bullying and to explain exactly what steps will be taken to ensure this doesn't happen again. (The charity suggested that criminal proceedings/police complaints should be made by those who viewed the video footage.) What I think would be the worst thing ever is that these kids have been expelled to sate the appetite of the public, only to be put back in school when the fury dies down without any realy change to policy being implemented. It's a tough situation because I would imagine that this young man (Adam) did not really understand that he was being bullied but somehow the college must find a satisfactory way to deal with this such that Adam does not suffer even worse from the fallout. Darla Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 Sara I spoke to LEA about the bullying and they said it was up to each individual school what their approach was, it's like no one really wants to take responsibility. I was also told I get him back into school pronto or face the attendance officer from LEA or otherwise write and say he is being home educated, which I suppose means they would no longer be responsible. Vicky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 Response from Poole. I am happy with this - am thinking of writing a quick note thanking them for their quick response - but any suggestions anyone? You Tube footage > Dear > > Thank you for your e-mail communication to The College yesterday > regarding the video footage published on You Tube. > > We completely understand and share your concerns over the reprehensible > behaviour demonstrated, and assure you than in line with our strict > policies, that there is a full investigation ongoing that has > immediately resulted in the suspension of a group of students identified > as having some involvement. > > You may not be aware, but The Bournemouth and Poole College has a very > solid and well earned reputation for inclusiveness, and we offer a > learning environment for students of all abilities where learners are > well supported in every way. Students with a wide range of learning > disabilities are embraced into college life, and many function to a very > high academic standard in the mainstream environment. We have excellent > staff with a wide range of expertise, and within their remit is the > creation of an educational environment sensitive to people with any > disability or 'difference'. Our equal opportunities and diversity > polices are strong, and upheld by those who work and study here. > > In terms of acceptable behaviour, every student enrolling with us signs > up to the Student Agreement, which is a code of conduct that is > rigorously enforced. Part of this is the Student Anti-bullying and > Harassment Policy and we will not hesitate to exclude anyone who is > found to be in breach of this agreement. > > Lastly, we do firmly believe that ours is an 'enlightened' learning > environment, and is not a place where disabled people get victimised. We > currently believe that this represents isolated and exceptional conduct > involving a small group of students who have acted irresponsibly. > > Thank you for sharing your concerns with us, and assuring you that the > gravity of the matter has not been overlooked. > > Kind regards > > -Anne Houldey > Director of Marketing > The Bournemouth and Poole College > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 My 13 yearl old daughter is being bullied at the moment. From what she recounts, I cannot ever remember my generation acting like such hooligans. She got punched in the back by one as she was getting into the bus. Another threw a glass bottle at her. The female karate champion punches up everyone regularly. I find the air of intimidation generally in schools today alarming. Last night in a public sauna I heard fathers talking about their 14 year old daughters getting involved in punch-ups at shool where the police had to be called in. One daughter efused to go to school as she was afraid her "face would be bashed in". This is apparently part of daily life. I was shocked. I am not sure what to do. She claims if I pursue matters at the school she will be nicknamed " Mama's girl". I remember a very calm friend of mine had a problem at the local kindergarten. Two girls were bullying her two little ones. The teachers said the kids had to learn how to defend themselves. She took the matter into her own hands. One day when noone was watching, she drove slowly by the two kids in question and told them that if they didn't stop their nasty nehaviour she would beat the living daylights out them in a dark back alley somewhere when their parents weren't around. This tactic worked! No more problems. This was totally out of character for my friend who is very peace-loving but she felt "she had to do it". J From: rexel45@... Autism Treatment Sent: Tuesday, January 30, 2007 11:16 AM Subject: Re: Fw: You Tube footage In a message dated 30/01/2007 11:00:48 GMT Standard Time, CarolineTraaaol writes: >>Excellent response I think they have handled this very well. Lets face it they >>cannot be help responsible for idiots that do this. They seem to be doing and >>have done all the y possibly can. Yes, I agree, they were quite reticent on the phone yesterday. The only thing that bugs me is the line in the Dorset Echo that they issued saying that this was an *isolated incident*. What rubbish. It was clearly systematic bullying with group participation. I'm sure by the time the bullies got around to videoing there was already a well established and entrenched pattern of perpetration although I realise the school couldn't possibly issue a statement saying that systematic bullying had been going on, no doubt they must minimise, minimise, minimise the damage. I sincerely hope they all learn a lifelong lesson from this. Darla Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 I looked at their anti-bullying policy on-line and for action to be taken it requires the bullied person to make a complaint! Obviously this is a requirement many (all?) bullied persons may feel afraid or unable to meet. There needs to be a requirement for teachers to take action as soon as they suspect anything untoward is going on. Several of those clips showed an adult in the room and I think one of them (the balding man in the poloneck)probably heard and saw what was going on. The young man being bullied should have had someone with him to protect him between lessons. The College should try and establish Circles of Support around students with SEN/disabilities. Margaret > > Response from Poole. I am happy with this - am thinking of writing a quick > note thanking them for their quick response - but any suggestions anyone? > > You Tube footage > > > > Dear > > > > Thank you for your e-mail communication to The College yesterday > > regarding the video footage published on You Tube. > > > > We completely understand and share your concerns over the reprehensible > > behaviour demonstrated, and assure you than in line with our strict > > policies, that there is a full investigation ongoing that has > > immediately resulted in the suspension of a group of students identified > > as having some involvement. > > > > You may not be aware, but The Bournemouth and Poole College has a very > > solid and well earned reputation for inclusiveness, and we offer a > > learning environment for students of all abilities where learners are > > well supported in every way. Students with a wide range of learning > > disabilities are embraced into college life, and many function to a very > > high academic standard in the mainstream environment. We have excellent > > staff with a wide range of expertise, and within their remit is the > > creation of an educational environment sensitive to people with any > > disability or 'difference'. Our equal opportunities and diversity > > polices are strong, and upheld by those who work and study here. > > > > In terms of acceptable behaviour, every student enrolling with us signs > > up to the Student Agreement, which is a code of conduct that is > > rigorously enforced. Part of this is the Student Anti-bullying and > > Harassment Policy and we will not hesitate to exclude anyone who is > > found to be in breach of this agreement. > > > > Lastly, we do firmly believe that ours is an 'enlightened' learning > > environment, and is not a place where disabled people get victimised. We > > currently believe that this represents isolated and exceptional conduct > > involving a small group of students who have acted irresponsibly. > > > > Thank you for sharing your concerns with us, and assuring you that the > > gravity of the matter has not been overlooked. > > > > Kind regards > > > > -Anne Houldey > > Director of Marketing > > The Bournemouth and Poole College > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 <<The only thing that bugs me is the line in the Dorset Echo that they issued saying that this was an *isolated incident*. What rubbish. It was clearly systematic bullying with group participation. I'm sure by the time the bullies got around to videoing there was already a well established and entrenched pattern of perpetration although I realise the school couldn't possibly issue a statement saying that systematic bullying had been going on, no doubt they must minimise, minimise, minimise the damage. >> Darla, I agree with this 100%. It was NOT an isolated incident. The ITN report says the clips were made by various students and not all at the same time. Margaret Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 Hi , Firstly I’m REALLY really really sorry to hear that your daughter is having to suffer this. Secondly, kids always tell their parents not to pursue it but as a teacher I know there is an awful lot that teachers can do about it. It is also extremely easy to miss in a secondary school where they are sitting in front of several teachers with several different groups of children per day. Difficult to spot doesn’t mean difficult to deal with. The first thing you have to do is tell the school. Who you should tell is a different matter but which of these do you like and trust the most? Head, deputy head, head of year, form tutor. I advise going to that person (the higher up the better) and making sure it is dealt with seriously. Seriously means, in my opinion, calling the parents of the perpetrators in or threatening exclusion. If these girls have no history then perhaps a letter home and report would suffice. The matter of any follow up bullying (calling her ‘mummy’s girl’) must be brought up as being equally offensive as anything else that’s gone on before and ANY continuation at all of the bullying should be dealt with seriously. If these girls have a history and if the school is a decent school they should be threatening exclusion anyway. There is no more reason your daughter should put up with this than we would in any workplace. She has rights and they’re being abused. Ps. The school owes this to you and your daughter but, for best results, stay polite! Good luck, SARA x Re: Fw: You Tube footage In a message dated 30/01/2007 11:00:48 GMT Standard Time, CarolineTraaaol writes: >>Excellent response I think they have handled this very well. Lets face it they >>cannot be help responsible for idiots that do this. They seem to be doing and >>have done all the y possibly can. Yes, I agree, they were quite reticent on the phone yesterday. The only thing that bugs me is the line in the Dorset Echo that they issued saying that this was an *isolated incident*. What rubbish. It was clearly systematic bullying with group participation. I'm sure by the time the bullies got around to videoing there was already a well established and entrenched pattern of perpetration although I realise the school couldn't possibly issue a statement saying that systematic bullying had been going on, no doubt they must minimise, minimise, minimise the damage. I sincerely hope they all learn a lifelong lesson from this. Darla -- No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.5.432 / Virus Database: 268.17.14/658 - Release Date: 29/01/2007 14:49 -- No virus found in this outgoing message. Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.5.432 / Virus Database: 268.17.14/658 - Release Date: 29/01/2007 14:49 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 How about "please send me a copy of your investigation when it is completed" Sally wrote: Response from Poole. I am happy with this - am thinking of writing a quick note thanking them for their quick response - but any suggestions anyone? You Tube footage > Dear > > Thank you for your e-mail communication to The College yesterday > regarding the video footage published on You Tube. > > We completely understand and share your concerns over the reprehensible > behaviour demonstrated, and assure you than in line with our strict > policies, that there is a full investigation ongoing that has > immediately resulted in the suspension of a group of students identified > as having some involvement. > > You may not be aware, but The Bournemouth and Poole College has a very > solid and well earned reputation for inclusiveness, and we offer a > learning environment for students of all abilities where learners are > well supported in every way. Students with a wide range of learning > disabilities are embraced into college life, and many function to a very > high academic standard in the mainstream environment. We have excellent > staff with a wide range of expertise, and within their remit is the > creation of an educational environment sensitive to people with any > disability or 'difference' . Our equal opportunities and diversity > polices are strong, and upheld by those who work and study here. > > In terms of acceptable behaviour, every student enrolling with us signs > up to the Student Agreement, which is a code of conduct that is > rigorously enforced. Part of this is the Student Anti-bullying and > Harassment Policy and we will not hesitate to exclude anyone who is > found to be in breach of this agreement. > > Lastly, we do firmly believe that ours is an 'enlightened' learning > environment, and is not a place where disabled people get victimised. We > currently believe that this represents isolated and exceptional conduct > involving a small group of students who have acted irresponsibly. > > Thank you for sharing your concerns with us, and assuring you that the > gravity of the matter has not been overlooked. > > Kind regards > > -Anne Houldey > Director of Marketing > The Bournemouth and Poole College > No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.5.432 / Virus Database: 268.17.14/658 - Release Date: 29/01/2007 14:49 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 from LEA or otherwise write and say he is being home educated, which I suppose means they would no longer be responsible. >>You get a letter from your GP to say he has anxiety and keep him opff legally - once you say you are hiome eddiing you lose the statement and are likely to have to go back to tribunal to get a reassessment at soemtime, play the game while you decide Mandi x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 Sara, Thanks for that.... I really want to get to the bottom of this but the headmaster has just been operated for something quite serious. He has been very good in the past. Hmm I think I'll just go to the deputy. Thanks for the encouragement. Just hope it doesn't backfire. Re: Fw: You Tube footage In a message dated 30/01/2007 11:00:48 GMT Standard Time, CarolineTraaaol writes: >>Excellent response I think they have handled this very well. Lets face it they >>cannot be help responsible for idiots that do this. They seem to be doing and >>have done all the y possibly can. Yes, I agree, they were quite reticent on the phone yesterday. The only thing that bugs me is the line in the Dorset Echo that they issued saying that this was an *isolated incident*. What rubbish. It was clearly systematic bullying with group participation. I'm sure by the time the bullies got around to videoing there was already a well established and entrenched pattern of perpetration although I realise the school couldn't possibly issue a statement saying that systematic bullying had been going on, no doubt they must minimise, minimise, minimise the damage. I sincerely hope they all learn a lifelong lesson from this. Darla --No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG Free Edition.Version: 7.5.432 / Virus Database: 268.17.14/658 - Release Date: 29/01/2007 14:49 --No virus found in this outgoing message.Checked by AVG Free Edition.Version: 7.5.432 / Virus Database: 268.17.14/658 - Release Date: 29/01/2007 14:49 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 I'd be interested to know if the teacher is being suspended - there should be some need to prove that a teacher must always report bullying witnessed (though my hubbie is a lecturer and has had threats before, so maybe this teacher was being bullied too.....?!) Also, what support the boy and his parents, and indeed the bully and their parents have been given by the college. Also, will they be rolling out a brief training programme or message to help their students understand different disabilities like autism, to avoid future ignorance and 'misunderstanding' Otherwise, I'm really pleased that the college have taken this seriously and professionally, Mel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 Hi , I think I must have a different mindset having worked in a tough school. These are children. Children who bully can be divided roughly into hardline bullies who will bully no matter what and those that are having a go at it – just this moment/ this lesson/ today/ this week. The latter have felt the power that bullying has given them and are enjoying it, but only to a degree. They usually know right from wrong and, in a way, are waiting for an adult to step in and control them before it gets out of hand (as it had done at least for some of the kids in those video clips). The latter could be our own children and their parents may well be appalled to find out what their children are doing. The former are rarer and will still often respond to threats and sanctions. If not, no school will want to keep a child that doesn’t respond to its threats and sanctions. If you do nothing the bullying will continue and could get worse. If it ‘backfires’ the bullying will continue and could get worse but if your daughter is in a school that can’t deal with bullying (and they do exist) then isn’t it better to know sooner rather than later? This is what teachers do – they deal with children’s behaviour day in, day out. Not seeing it doesn’t mean they don’t care and it doesn’t mean they don’t know what to do when they do see it. What’s the head of year like? Is she being bullied by her year group? if so, this is a good bet too. SARA x Re: Fw: You Tube footage Sara, Thanks for that.... I really want to get to the bottom of this but the headmaster has just been operated for something quite serious. He has been very good in the past. Hmm I think I'll just go to the deputy. Thanks for the encouragement. Just hope it doesn't backfire. Re: Fw: You Tube footage In a message dated 30/01/2007 11:00:48 GMT Standard Time, CarolineTraaaol writes: >>Excellent response I think they have handled this very well. Lets face it they >>cannot be help responsible for idiots that do this. They seem to be doing and >>have done all the y possibly can. Yes, I agree, they were quite reticent on the phone yesterday. The only thing that bugs me is the line in the Dorset Echo that they issued saying that this was an *isolated incident*. What rubbish. It was clearly systematic bullying with group participation. I'm sure by the time the bullies got around to videoing there was already a well established and entrenched pattern of perpetration although I realise the school couldn't possibly issue a statement saying that systematic bullying had been going on, no doubt they must minimise, minimise, minimise the damage. I sincerely hope they all learn a lifelong lesson from this. Darla -- No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.5.432 / Virus Database: 268.17.14/658 - Release Date: 29/01/2007 14:49 -- No virus found in this outgoing message. Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.5.432 / Virus Database: 268.17.14/658 - Release Date: 29/01/2007 14:49 -- No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.5.432 / Virus Database: 268.17.14/658 - Release Date: 29/01/2007 14:49 -- No virus found in this outgoing message. Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.5.432 / Virus Database: 268.17.14/658 - Release Date: 29/01/2007 14:49 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 , Deja vu here. When our daughter[22 now] was in the primary grades this was a constant. One of her teachers was able to garner some in class support by just talking with the class when my d was not there; letting them know the challenges for her as a teacher and for them as contemporaries. Once our child hit middle school, which is 7th grade in our US community, this issue was quickly dealt with. She had a para for the first time who recognized all the bullying in different forms-name calling, bumping into her in classroom/hallways, throwing paper at her, stomping on her feet, telling her to do inappropriate things etc. At that point, her resource teacher set up a once a week lunch date-eventually this evolved to x2 per week-which several of her peers attended. The girls gathered for this were part of the 'in crowd' but also good, caring kids who had known our d from primary. The group remained in what is termed a 'Circle of Friends' throughout middle and high school. It was such an important support for our child to feel included. Much to my regret, it never did evolve to any inclusion for outside school activities. It also provided a big buffer as these kids learned what was ongoing and spoke up to other classmates when they saw the inappropriate behavior. One of these girls has gone on to study biology intending to focus on neuro developmental issues as a doc-all as a result of her association with our child, acc to her mom. I think it is so important to keep voicing this mistreatment!! and put in down on paper. Our daughter is verbal but did not have the skills to put in words just what was happening until usually well after the fact; probably when some of the horrible emotional havoc subsided. We would see huge episodes of acting out and be called by school for this 'bad behavior' only to learn days down the road what had provoked it. Having a teacher that was willing to do this was the key; she volunteered the idea and gave up lunch and prep time herself to accomplish it. Administration on down was resistent to anything but listening. It took those special people who do come along! Another 'coincident' that God put in our child's path happened when she was in high school[grades 9-12, US]. A 'big man on campus', high school jock, popular, funny,etc took a liking to our little girl. He spoke to her each day in class, hallways, lunchroom and became a staunch defender of her in the setting. The boy bullies from prior years had to deal with Mike if they were at all nasty to our child. Mike is working on a degree in special education now. His dad is a teacher, football coach, so I know that the teaching is in his genes. He still sees our d at school sporting events and always makes an effort to converse. Another thing that assisted us was hunting up a neighbor child, 4yrs older, to read, play games, practice piano etc with our d. She was a kid with caring parents who guided her through this project that she probably wished she'd never taken on. She came regularly, got very creative and stayed the course for almost 4 years. She, too, transferred some of her knowledge of our d to the school setting. Just some thoughts and for you to know that others have trekked the path, > > Hi , > > Firstly I'm REALLY really really sorry to hear that your daughter is having > to suffer this. > > Secondly, kids always tell their parents not to pursue it but as a teacher I > know there is an awful lot that teachers can do about it. It is also > extremely easy to miss in a secondary school where they are sitting in front > of several teachers with several different groups of children per day. > Difficult to spot doesn't mean difficult to deal with. The first thing you > have to do is tell the school. Who you should tell is a different matter but > which of these do you like and trust the most? Head, deputy head, head of > year, form tutor. I advise going to that person (the higher up the better) > and making sure it is dealt with seriously. Seriously means, in my opinion, > calling the parents of the perpetrators in or threatening exclusion. If > these girls have no history then perhaps a letter home and report would > suffice. The matter of any follow up bullying (calling her `mummy's girl') > must be brought up as being equally offensive as anything else that's gone > on before and ANY continuation at all of the bullying should be dealt with > seriously. If these girls have a history and if the school is a decent > school they should be threatening exclusion anyway. > > There is no more reason your daughter should put up with this than we would > in any workplace. She has rights and they're being abused. > > Ps. The school owes this to you and your daughter but, for best results, > stay polite! > > Good luck, > > SARA x > > > > > > Re: [Autism-Biomedical--Europe] Fw: You Tube footage > > > > In a message dated 30/01/2007 11:00:48 GMT Standard Time, HYPERLINK > " mailto:CarolineTraa@... " CarolineTraa@... writes: > > >>Excellent response I think they have handled this very well. Lets face it > they >>cannot be help responsible for idiots that do this. They seem to be > doing and >>have done all the y possibly can. > > Yes, I agree, they were quite reticent on the phone yesterday. > > > > The only thing that bugs me is the line in the Dorset Echo that they issued > saying that this was an *isolated incident*. What rubbish. It was clearly > systematic bullying with group participation. I'm sure by the time the > bullies got around to videoing there was already a well established and > entrenched pattern of perpetration although I realise the school couldn't > possibly issue a statement saying that systematic bullying had been going > on, no doubt they must minimise, minimise, minimise the damage. > > > > I sincerely hope they all learn a lifelong lesson from this. > > > > Darla > > > > > -- > No virus found in this incoming message. > Checked by AVG Free Edition. > Version: 7.5.432 / Virus Database: 268.17.14/658 - Release Date: 29/01/2007 > 14:49 > > > > -- > No virus found in this outgoing message. > Checked by AVG Free Edition. > Version: 7.5.432 / Virus Database: 268.17.14/658 - Release Date: 29/01/2007 > 14:49 > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 I totally second the suggestion of asking them to send you the results of the investigation. I don't love that it was the Director of Marketing who wrote you, rather than someone high up in Admin. Her job is to "spin", let's face it. That doesn't mean she doesn't mean what she says, but it does mean that she's paid for putting forth a very positive public face. She herself has no operating, managerial responsibility at the school, presumably. The school needs to do more than issue statements through a marketing person, IMHO. Abigail Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 Sara, I know what you're saying but my daughter pleads with me not to interfere. She has been bullied often in the past and I constantly had to step in but now that she's older (healthier) and more aware of her peers and surroundings, I can't do this without her knowledge. I'll have to have a heart to heart with her again tonight. We have anexcellent relationship in that she tells me everything so I don't want to compromise this. What you say is right. Thanks, Re: Fw: You Tube footage In a message dated 30/01/2007 11:00:48 GMT Standard Time, CarolineTraaaol writes: >>Excellent response I think they have handled this very well. Lets face it they >>cannot be help responsible for idiots that do this. They seem to be doing and >>have done all the y possibly can. Yes, I agree, they were quite reticent on the phone yesterday. The only thing that bugs me is the line in the Dorset Echo that they issued saying that this was an *isolated incident*. What rubbish. It was clearly systematic bullying with group participation. I'm sure by the time the bullies got around to videoing there was already a well established and entrenched pattern of perpetration although I realise the school couldn't possibly issue a statement saying that systematic bullying had been going on, no doubt they must minimise, minimise, minimise the damage. I sincerely hope they all learn a lifelong lesson from this. Darla --No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG Free Edition.Version: 7.5.432 / Virus Database: 268.17.14/658 - Release Date: 29/01/2007 14:49 --No virus found in this outgoing message.Checked by AVG Free Edition.Version: 7.5.432 / Virus Database: 268.17.14/658 - Release Date: 29/01/2007 14:49 --No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG Free Edition.Version: 7.5.432 / Virus Database: 268.17.14/658 - Release Date: 29/01/2007 14:49 --No virus found in this outgoing message.Checked by AVG Free Edition.Version: 7.5.432 / Virus Database: 268.17.14/658 - Release Date: 29/01/2007 14:49 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 JULIE WELL DONE. WE R ALL THINKING BOUT YOU. LUV CAROLINE XXX Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 It just makes me cry reading this.... All the birthday invites that never came, all the whispering in the corner, the kids that wouldn't let your child sit next to them, walking out of school alone, walking to school alone. The strange thing is, she got along fantastically with adults. Thank God those days are almost over. She has a few problems in that respect but looking back..that was the worst, to see your child treated like a pariah. I felt queezy in my stomach all the time, never slept properly, worried about what the next school day would bring. What a great things your school managed. Very caring people. There are two very kind adults in the school who are close to my daughter and they watch out for her. The teacher responsible for pastoral care is also usually on top of things. I shall have to think out a plan to address this all. because it is causing a lot of distress Thanks for you concern. Re: [Autism-Biomedical--Europe] Fw: You Tube footage> > > > In a message dated 30/01/2007 11:00:48 GMT Standard Time, HYPERLINK> "mailto:CarolineTraa@..."CarolineTraa@... writes:> > >>Excellent response I think they have handled this very well. Lets face it> they >>cannot be help responsible for idiots that do this. They seem to be> doing and >>have done all the y possibly can.> > Yes, I agree, they were quite reticent on the phone yesterday. > > > > The only thing that bugs me is the line in the Dorset Echo that they issued> saying that this was an *isolated incident*. What rubbish. It was clearly> systematic bullying with group participation. I'm sure by the time the> bullies got around to videoing there was already a well established and> entrenched pattern of perpetration although I realise the school couldn't> possibly issue a statement saying that systematic bullying had been going> on, no doubt they must minimise, minimise, minimise the damage. > > > > I sincerely hope they all learn a lifelong lesson from this.> > > > Darla > > > > > --> No virus found in this incoming message.> Checked by AVG Free Edition.> Version: 7.5.432 / Virus Database: 268.17.14/658 - Release Date: 29/01/2007> 14:49> > > > -- > No virus found in this outgoing message.> Checked by AVG Free Edition.> Version: 7.5.432 / Virus Database: 268.17.14/658 - Release Date: 29/01/2007> 14:49> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 Yeah sure, it’s very difficult. I read back what I wrote when it appeared in my mailbox and it had a funny tone. Sorry!!! I think I have my own issues here because, whilst I was working at my tough tough London school, dealing with these things constantly, my little, painfully shy niece was being bullied at her primary and then secondary school. I begged and pleaded with my sister to contact the school but my sister insisted that my niece wouldn’t allow it as she was scared of the repercussions. She went right through primary school and secondary school and the issue was NEVER addressed! Bullying only works because the bullies have some form of power over the bullied and this power will necessarily include an element of making them afraid to tell. If you were being bullied at work that would mean that you were unable, for whatever reason, to stand up to the perpetrators. The next step is to go above them, to their boss, your union, the press, join forces with other workers – whatever works really or you are almost giving the bully the right to continue. I was bullied at school too. I would never have wanted my parents to make a fuss but my fear was that of confronting the bully. This is a child’s mindset because the real fear should be of letting them continue and letting the situation escalate. Just read your message too Vicky. There are crap schools out there that can’t deal with bullying and I’m really sorry to hear your son’s story. I can’t help feeling that they are also giving into the bullies and, by not putting a stop to it are actually joining them, or even joining your son as a victim. They should also be reported, not sure who to though – the press???/ SARA x -- No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.5.432 / Virus Database: 268.17.14/658 - Release Date: 29/01/2007 14:49 -- No virus found in this outgoing message. Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.5.432 / Virus Database: 268.17.14/658 - Release Date: 29/01/2007 14:49 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 , I have just reread your original message on this. She has been punched and had a glass bottle thrown at her!!! I would say she is actually in physical danger and this has already got way out of hand. You have grounds to call the police as this is assault and they would treat it seriously. Please tell the school, in the nicest way possible, that you might consider this. Your daughter must be petrified and I really feel for you and her. SARA x Re: Fw: You Tube footage In a message dated 30/01/2007 11:00:48 GMT Standard Time, CarolineTraaaol writes: >>Excellent response I think they have handled this very well. Lets face it they >>cannot be help responsible for idiots that do this. They seem to be doing and >>have done all the y possibly can. Yes, I agree, they were quite reticent on the phone yesterday. The only thing that bugs me is the line in the Dorset Echo that they issued saying that this was an *isolated incident*. What rubbish. It was clearly systematic bullying with group participation. I'm sure by the time the bullies got around to videoing there was already a well established and entrenched pattern of perpetration although I realise the school couldn't possibly issue a statement saying that systematic bullying had been going on, no doubt they must minimise, minimise, minimise the damage. I sincerely hope they all learn a lifelong lesson from this. Darla -- No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.5.432 / Virus Database: 268.17.14/658 - Release Date: 29/01/2007 14:49 -- No virus found in this outgoing message. Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.5.432 / Virus Database: 268.17.14/658 - Release Date: 29/01/2007 14:49 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.