Family...Venting....Need help/advice

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My mother is immunosuppressed from a heart transplant she had 9

years ago (at age 58), during which time I was her primary

caregiver, and basically gave her a second chance at life...prior to

my mold house escapade.

Unfortunately, her house is the first place I ran to when I began to

get so sick in my house that I could no longer stay there. I brought

some of my clothing, etc. and I ultimately began reacting in her

house in my sensitized state, couldn't breath, feeling toxic, etc.,

and left her house to sleep in a tent in the backyard of my mold

house. She thought I had gone crazy.

My entire family was, in fact, in disbelief as I went through my

toxic exposure, dumped everything I owned, and paid a fortune to

stay in a different hotel room every night, just to get away from

the toxins, sometimes leaving my hotel room at 2am to go to the

emergency room at the hospital, only to be told I must have

allergies and the mold count was really high at the time. I thot I

would surely die.

That was 2-3 years ago. I'm still reacting to low levels of

mold/toxin exposure and just doing the best I can to remediate as I

go.

For the past 6 weeks my other has had a terrible cough, that I am

certain is due to the cross-contamination at her house.

Stachy/Aspergillus. What do I do now? I've talked to so many

professionals who tell me " it is extremely rare to experience

symptoms from the toxins " , blah, blah, blah, " difficult to

test " , " very expensive " . I'm sure you've all heard the same. And

who has any money left after this experience?

I'm incensed because my family basically still thinks I'm crazy,

even my mom, which is a tough load to carry after being the only

responsible one in my family to see my mom through her transplant

ordeal, a college graduate, hard worker, and generally upstanding

citizen. Yes, I'm taking it personally. ) And shouldn't.

What am I to do now? I also think my dad/step mom are suffering

from cross-contamination due to things I put in their garage, not

knowing any better. Coughing, burning/red eyes, aching legs, etc.

This is a nightmare that has been out of control for years. I feel

that it was never addressed properly and is only going to get worse.

They don't understand me and my experience, no matter what I tell

them, and how many quotes, and evidence I send them from the

internet.

They see me as some kind of crazed person, and encourage me to stay

away from the Sick Building Message Board as they think it causes me

to focus unneccessarily on the problem, and invoke my panic. They

don't even want me to talk about it, frequently shutting me down and

saying they don't want to talk about it, and tell me things

like " It's not possible " , and " would you be willing to talk to a

psychologist " , which I already have, and luckily it was someone

compassionate enough to understand that modern medicine doesn't

understand/accept a lot of things people suffer from. Psychotherapy

is not what I need.

I've been asking my mom to mention to her doctors what I went

through and she didn't, was afraid to, which I can totally

understand. My mom met with a pulmonologist today, who wants her to

do sputum cultures over a three day period. Sounds vaguely familiar

to what I went through with the drs years ago and got nowhere.

She doesn't realize that they don't get it for one, and there's

nothing the doctors are going to do for her, anyway. I keep telling

her she seems to do better when she's out of the house, and even

asked if she would come stay with me for a week to see if she felt

better (sabotaging my environment to be sure), but she says she

can't because she has a cat to take care of. Her boss even told her

to take some time off if she needed to.

To top it off, and thi sis where my family dysfunction gets to much

to take, there's a weird power struggle with my brother's ex-wife,

who has threatened to take away my nephews (my mom's grandkids!!!)

if she doesn't get her way, and she also happens to be diagnosed

obsessive-compulsive, washing her hands with bleach and the whole

nine yards.

I think my mom is worried if she's contaminated she wont get to see

the grandkids. And everyone is comparing my experience to her and

thinking I've just lost my mind, even though I have IAQ tests

revealing millionsof spores of stachy to prove my experience.

Will someone help me, please. I'm at a loss.

I called yet another testing company, and decided to do a series of

tape testing for the stachy in various places; my apartment,

storage, my mom's house, my dad's house...not sure if this is the

right way to go.

Feels like there is no solution, and we will all just get sicker

over time if we do nothing. With tem blaming their old age, and me

blaming the mold, as I was healthy active person before this all

began.

I don't write often, but I am so thankful for this group, and

reading your stories helps me a great deal. More than you know,

really.

Jules