[] FW: Brain Tip #50: Your Brain on Unfairness (fwd)

[Guest guest]

Slightly off-topic, but maybe not.

Thought it was interesting enough to share!

This is Your Brain on Unfairness

By Marcia Reynolds

Have you ever had a knee-jerk reaction to someone who cuts in front of you

on the road (or should I say finger-jerk reaction)? How about glaring at the

person who has too many items in the express lane at the grocery store? Or

fantasizing about gluing the mouth shut of the person who interrupts you

while you are talking and doesn't let you finish? Do other people's

behaviors annoy you, make you mad or cause you to feel so frustrated you

just shut down? This is what your brain looks like under the influence of

unfairness.

Several research institutions including Caltech, the University of Arizona,

and Baylor and Princeton Universities are using brain scans to study moral

decision making. They have found that one of our most basic, primary

reactions occurs when our brains determines a situation is " just not fair.

They have found that two sites in the brain light up when a person judges a

situation to be unfair or morally wrong. These are instinctive reactions

that occur before the logical centers of the brain can be activated.

The result? The moment our brains determine that someone is not playing by

the rules, our abilities to deliberate, weigh all sides of an issue and make

thoughtful decisions are impaired.

Alan G. Sanfey, a professor from the University of Arizona who helped to

conduct research at Princeton, found that when people felt cheated, their

emotional system primed them to say " no " immediately without thinking

through their response. In fact, the unfairness reaction kicks in faster

than the temptation to accept free things, including money.

THE PROBLEM: Not everyone plays by the same set of rules. Cultural and

religious background, family upbringing, education and life experiences all

combine to help us form a mental frame called, " the world according to me. "

Other than legal and safety issues, these rules are often based on personal

bias and opinions of what we think is right and wrong. We act as if these

rules are cast in stone when actually they differ from one person to the

next

THE RESULT: We make snap decisions and react like children, then rationalize

and justify our responses with our logical, creative brain. This leaves our

world full of smart, aware people who gossip about their neighbors, relish

when road hogs get their due and give the slow-moving grocery clerk the evil

eye

BRAIN TIPS:

1. Try to become aware of what your brain is doing in reactive situations.

Catch yourself reacting in anger or annoyance. Then take a breath before you

say or do anything else to make the situation worse.

2. Determine if your loss is real or not. Is the rule I think was broken

that big a deal, really? Did the person who offended you take anything away

from you? Did you lose more than a few minutes of your time? Did you lose

your self-respect? Did you lose face in front of others? If not, choose to

relax and let go. Then focus on something more interesting.

3. Choose to be healthy instead of right. Is this situation important in the

big scheme of things? You decide where to put your most precious

resource-your energy. Don't waste it on people who don't even know who you

are or what you need in the moment. If you have the chance to teach them

about you and your needs, great. If not, let go of what you cannot control.

In the end, I believe the greatest gift we can give to ourselves is to teach

our brains how to let go and " go with the flow. " Don't beat yourself up for

having an emotional reaction. Your brain is only doing what it is supposed

to do-protect you. Instead, recognize when you are having an emotional

reaction and choose to respond differently, including laughing at yourself

more often. Only then will you know what the " flow experience " feels like.

If everyone sought this feeling of flow and worked to help others to

experience flow in their work and home life, wouldn't this world be a

wonderful place to live in? It's time we take charge of our primitive

brains, bringing more peace to our lives and to our world.

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