Where I am on my Journey

[Guest guest]

Hey Everyone,

Thank you Judy for suggesting we all share about where we are on our journeys'.

Well, I have all the episodes downloaded to my MP3 player, and when I come up

against a brick wall I go back and listen to the episode that covers what I need

to get past that brick wall.

The best thing is that I have learned to love myself right now, not selfishly

but love myself enough not to beat up on myself if I eat a dessert,or one more

bite than maybe

i should have. All those times before I would beat up on myself then I would

give up

even trying.

Today I know this is a long journey, no matter what it takes I am here for the

long haul.

Only God knows how long that will be.

The thing that is so funny about it all is that I am not thinking that when I

lose the weight I will be finished. This is a life long journey and today I am

not even thinking so much about weight loss as I am learning to live life sanely

around food and not beat up on myself about every little thing.

I had so many rules around food that I stayed so obsessed that I could not live

life sanely.

Today I am so very grateful to know that I can make a choice in what I eat, or

do, or say and do not have to second guess if I made a wrong or right choice.

It is just a choice, I stop labeling things right or wrong, things just are.

My Mentor said to decide what I would like to eat and just eat it and hush about

it, lol.

That crazy talk in the head finally quiets down when I don't give too much

attention to it. hahaha. Also I don't " should " on myself anymore. Shoulding on

myself would lead me back to strapping on the feedbag again.

Acceptance is very important to my recovery journey. I am not perfect

(ferpect)lol. So why did I ever think I had to be ferpect hahaha.

I can't say I am on just one certain episode because they have all helped me so

very much. I know I have not listened to them all yet. I am listening to them in

order and I think

I am on about Episode 48. Although I have went back to the beginning episodes

and listened over and over.

I am just so grateful to be on the right road finally and I am grateful that you

are all here as well.

My Mentor also said, " It's not what you are eating, it's what you are eating

over! " " It's what you are eating at " and what is eating at you " .

That surely rang true for me. It never was about the food.

Love you all,

Barbara in Florida