IOWL: hope and potential

[Guest guest]

Hello everyone! Avie here... I have not really been active in IOWL recently.

I am still struggling, almost everyday... and had a binge last night. but,

i have a lot of hope and optimism. I know that my life will not also

revolve around this issue and that I will not always have this relationship

with food. I only want to lose and keep off five to ten pounds... so, thank

GD for that!

I realize that I am at a plataeu... at about 131 pounds... and i know that

bingeing is what keeps me at a weight that i am not exactly happy with (I am

only five foot one inch). I am learning to love my body at this weight and

see myself as beautiful now... because, heck... everyone else does!

seriously... it's sick

So, I wanted to share the following:

Unwanted behaviors: bingeing when irritated, anxious, angry, stressed out,

bored… worrying about food and the amount that I am eating or not eating,

going out alone in my car to purchase food to binge on, bingeing and then

not wanting to eat or drink with other people, constant berating of my body

and progress, doom and gloom, not being grateful for what I have or looking

only at the negatives, eating before I am truly hungry because it is time or

because I am feeling anxious, lack of motivation to exercise

Unwanted symptoms: tight-fitting clothing, overweight/fat, eating poorly

(i.e. non-nutritious foods) leads to getting sick, low self-esteem and poor

body image, anger and irritability, slow-moving and unmotivated… what

else??!

Consequences??

I have anxiety and I where frumpy clothes convincing myself I do so because

they are comfortable… I am alone a lot and I often cancel plans or skip out

on eating or drinking alcohol with my friends… I gain weight. I feel

physical pains in my chest and digestive system… I am tired a lot… often

binge and then skip meals, so I am never on a regular eating schedule… which

I know will help…

Everyone is affected because they either hear me complain about my own

disempowerment or they receive my anger and frustration unfoundedly.

Ready for change. Ready for balance. Ready for empowerment because I am

worth feeling really damn good and sexy. So are you.

Thanks for reading.

--

Avie Linden

University of Michigan - Anthropology

Program in the Environment, History of Art

248.535.0521