wow

[Guest guest]

R you doing better? So sorry to hear this has happend to you. How long were you

in the hospital ? Let me know

 thanks

Glad u r back

  Ann Fultz

WOW

Hey my Dear Friends and Family!I must apologize for disappearing.....on May 5,

The Damn Dragon nearly slew me!  Message to you new guys, and some of us not so

new....do not ever take this disease for granted....like one of my ICU Doctor's

said:  we can't afford to let ANY sign or symptom get by us...at the LEAST one,

we need to seek immediate medical attention.  Patty had been trying for over a

week to get me to go to the doctor...you see, I had been having this

greenish-yellow discharge from my eyes...well, on the date above, it all hit at

once wwith a vengance!!!!!!  On that Monday, that I don't remember, I was

overtaken by confusion, shortness of breath, fever, rash, cold, clammy

skin....etc....Patty took me to the ER close to sundown....they IMMEDIATELY took

me back to an exam room and started testing...Shanna (my middle daughter) said

it was like an episode of ER!  After the Doc had tried bi-pap and other methods

to get me O2 and CO2 balanced,

he asked me if I wanted him to try a vent....well, of course I was going to say

" yes! " .  Poor Patty said she kept trying to get my attention asking me to tell

her what to do...the Doc intervened and said he thought I was completely out of

it....he was right....so, that left her with the decision to vent me or

not....not meant that I would probably die right there...remember my broken

ribs...the Doctor said that any kind of chest compressions would certainly cause

fractures to puncture one or more organs and lead to a painful death.....so, a

vent was the best choice at the time.

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[Guest guest]

There was an article that someone posted on here the other day-

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/02/28/go-easy-on-yourself-a-new-wave-of-resea\

rch-urges/

I read the article then went to the woman's web site-there she has some

exercises that people can download. I am working through her exercises to

increase self compassion. It is really been interesting. I just did one where

you set up three chairs and you play out your inner dialogue. It was amazing to

hear how my inner critical dialogue was exactly the voice of my step father-who

was abusive and a jerk. I thought that I had left all of that behind me, and

here he was popping into my head. Ever since I was a little girl-telling me I am

fat and ugly and unlovable-but then it was me telling myself these things. My

emotions are overflowing and I feel so shaken that I didn't realize that those

words that I heard when I was younger were the same words that I told myself.

gosh, I hope that I can hear his voice and recognize that isn't me-that is what

someone who wanted break me told me-lots of lies.

I believed them for so long.

I only hope that I can begin to break down those lies and see pieces of truth.

Lots of love where ever you are on this journey