It's Friday again...

[Guest guest]

And I'm working at home again. I've been better this week. Most of the of

anxiety and and guilt has been a distant memory this week. Only now I'm

afraid of a repeat of last Friday.

I have more work to do today than I did last Friday.... I saved a lot of

fairly easy work for today. It's my way of making sure I have work to do,

but not getting overwhelmed by really hard stuff. Start out with easy stuff

to get that sense of accomplishment. Then move on to the challenging

stuff. And if I only get the easy stuff done, that's OK too. It is stuff

that needs doing and I will stop the guilt from attacking me.

Oh. Whoever sent the link to the EFT video, thank you! That is a

simplified version. It is the same tapping points that uses. It was

good to see them instead of just hearing them on the podcast. I wrote them

all down in order and am working on things to say. This morning I used

" even though I lack the motivation to work, I deeply and completely love and

accept myself. " I think that's the right thing to say. I know the tapping

was right because I felt all tingly after I did it. It was as if an energy

field was working through me. A nice feeling.

So, I've done some other thinking this week. I've gained about 6 pounds in

about 6 weeks. I hit the 25 pound loss mark and hit a wall. Why? It was a

goal. And all the old negative habits started again. I realized this is a

constant thing we are doing. I had done a lot of work.... faced some

demons, acknowledged some limiting beliefs, faced some fears and was doing

well. Then, I stepped away. I realized that it isn't just a one time

thing. We can't just have the " aha " moment and realize what's holding us

back and think we will never face that problem again. We face the same

problems every day. I realized I had stepped back.... stepped out of what

was working.... stepping away from " me " . I was just going through the

motions.

I just finished the book Eat, Pray, Love. I don't know if you've read it (I

have not seen the movie). Toward the end of the book, she describes a scene

that takes place 2 years before the book actually starts. I won't go into

details, but she described a thoroughly cathartic process that sounds like a

cure to me. But she was still a basket case 2 years later. It took a long

time to get rid of her demons. It took lots of meditation. Every day. So,

it's the same with my food demons. I can face a fear and think I have

eliminated a limiting belief; but, if I don't keep at it, it will come back.

I started listening to the 's Law of Attraction series again. I think

it's a good place to get back to the basics. I love the simple question

" what do I want instead? " She also talked about the negative connotations

of " why? " I had started to spend hours asking " why " was I getting off

track? " Why " did I gain 6 pounds? " Why " am I having so much trouble.

Yesterday, I switched it to " What do I want instead? " I want to get back on

track. I want to feel relaxed and confident around food. I want to feel

good about myself. I immediately felt more positive. I ate less yesterday

and even took a walk!

So, that's my life right now. Thanks for listening to my ramblings.

Patti L.