To Judy Re: people familiar w/ bi polar in adults, a question

[Guest guest]

Hi Judy,

I saw this post and had to ask you about it. My DD is 10, dx'd with

OCD since 7 (although I knew when she was 4 or 5). My DH also has OCD.

Been married 15 years and for the past 5 or so years I have known that

I can no longer live with him. I finally decided this past fall to end

things and it has been such a hard decision. In addition to the OCD

and anxiety issues, he just is a very incompetent person. It is hard

to even describe it all, but he just wants to live like a kid his

whole life, no responsibilities, and just dump all of it on me. He

can't handle any stress, so I get it all.

I knew the marriage was over when my OCD'er had her major breakdown at

7, and he couldn't handle it. He checked out on me and her, and I had

my own breakdown from trying to deal with it all (I have a 6yo DD,too,

so far no official problems, but she was colicky as a baby and is very

strong-willed and a handful as well).

I am rambling, but I just know what you meant about not being able to

deal with him, too. I am so afraid that a divorce will affect my

OCD'er in a very bad way, but am more afraid of staying in a marriage

where I am so depressed that I myself could end up in a psych ward, as

there is bipolar and depression in my family as well. He needs my help

with everything, to do any minor household project, to make any

decision, financial, etc. I can't take care of him anymore while I get

nothing in return. Yet that makes me feel selfish.

I guess I'm looking for some good news -- how did things work out for

you? I know you are still dealing with your kids' bipolar issues,

sooooo hard. How do you stay strong for them? How did the divorce

affect them? Also, did your husband improve post-divorce? I am hoping

mine will learn to take care of himself (since he will need to take

care of the girls while they visit!) He is seeing a therapist now and

on Prozac. Sleeping alot, he says the Prozac is helping, I can't tell.

Thanks for your input!

nna

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> Hi Kathy,

> I am not a doctor, but , yes, it does sound like your dh has the

symptoms of bipolar. My ex-husband has it, and I did not know it until

after we got divorced. I knew he had something, but I attributed it to

his anxiety and ocd. He acted as you described in many ways. If I had

known during the marriage, maybe I could have understood his actions a

little better.

> I just couldn't take him anymore, and I feel bad now, because I know

he has an illness, but I am already dealing with two kids with

bipolar, and I can't handle a husband with it too.

> Hugs

> Judy

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