Young mother's vow stems from husband's tragic death

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Young mother's vow stems from husband's tragic death

06:01 PM CDT on Friday, August 27, 2004

By LAURA GRIFFIN / Special Contributor to The Dallas Morning News

As a college student, Woodall watched in awe as therapists

transformed a violent and incoherent autistic girl into an affectionate,

loving child.

She felt she had found her calling and dreamed that some day she could

make such a powerful difference in the lives of other autistic children.

A decade later, the dream still burning but not fully realized, Mrs.

Woodall's world collapsed when her husband and staunchest supporter,

Brent, died in the Sept. 11, 2001 attack on the World Trade Center.

Five weeks pregnant with her first child, she was enveloped in a fog of

grief. Days ran together. Nights were long. For nearly nine months, she

could not imagine a life without him.

But motherhood has a way of changing things.

Holding her new daughter, Pierce, in the delivery room, she knew she

had to pull herself out of that hole.

" With the grief, it was all very black. I couldn't see any future, "

Mrs. Woodall says. " But right then, I knew I could no longer be an

angry, sad person. I had to do whatever I had to do to be happy again. "

She vowed then to combine her dream of working with autistic kids with

a commitment to keeping Brent's memory alive.

Stealing moments between changing diapers and late-night feedings, Mrs.

Woodall started putting together a nonprofit foundation in his name.

This summer, the Brent Woodall Foundation for Exceptional Children

began giving parents of autistic children the tools they need to manage

and change their children's behavior.

" Brent had always been so supportive, emotionally and financially, of

my work with these kids, " says Mrs. Woodall, now 34, who moved to

Coppell a year ago from the New York City area to be closer to family,

who had moved here when she was in college.

" I think it's appropriate that it's because of him ... we're able to

help them now. "

At 6-foot-5, Brent Woodall was built for sports. He played football and

baseball at the University of California at Berkeley. He pitched in the

Chicago Cubs' minor league organization until sidelined by an injury.

And in New York, he took on rugby.

He was a " man's man, " his wife says, but what people didn't realize was

how sensitive he was.

" There are sports scholarships and programs in his name, and that's

great, " Mrs. Woodall says. " But I wanted people to remember the other

side of him too. "

Longtime friend Tony Apollaro, president of the Brent Woodall

Foundation, describes Brent as a caring " gentle giant, " who wanted a

large family.

" He was incredibly passionate for family, " Mr. Apollaro says. " I got

e-mails from him literally the day before, on Sept. 10, talking about

how he hoped this child would be one of many to come. "

Then came Sept. 11.

That morning, Brent, who worked as a stock trader with Keefe, Bruyette

and Woods on the 89th floor of the south tower, called his wife and his

parents.

He said there had been an explosion in the other building, but not to

worry: He was fine. His building was OK. They weren't even being told to

evacuate.

After a plane hit his building, she frantically called him but couldn't

get through. Finally, he managed to reach her again. He was above the

crash site and had made it to the 87th floor but couldn't get the door

open. He was calm and assured her that everything would be all right.

Firefighters were on their way up to rescue them. That was the last she

heard from him.

She frantically drove home to New Jersey from Manhattan to wait for his

next call, but as she pulled into the driveway, she heard on the radio

that his tower had fallen. Though she hoped for a miracle, she knew at

that moment that the life they had known was over.

" That was horrifying, " she says with a sigh, shaking off the memory.

A way to cope

Creating the foundation has helped Mrs. Woodall work through her grief.

And in her personal life, she has also tried to carry on as they had

planned.

She and her daughter, now 2 & #189;, traveled to Russia a few months ago

to adopt an orphaned baby girl, Isabella, now 10 months old.

" Brent and I always planned on adopting even if we had our own

children, " she says. " There are so many children in the world who need

love. I have a big house and plenty of room. And Pierce loves having a

baby sister. "

The Brent Woodall Foundation, based in Coppell, benefits the very

youngest autistic children and provides free assessments as well as

training in behavioral therapy for parents of children 18 months to 6

years old. It also provides financial assistance to families of autistic

children, if needed.

" A lot of programs provide services to the child, but not to the

parents, " she says. " And a lot of people are either not close to good

programs for autism, or can't afford treatment or are on long waiting

lists and don't know what to do. "

Neither of her daughters is autistic. Ms. Austin earned a bachelor's

degree in psychology at Columbia University. She has gone on to

specialize in autism in her doctoral work at the New School in New York

City.

Mrs. Woodall previously supported the foundation herself -- but now,

operating it as a nonprofit, she's trying to raise money.

" We want to help as many families as we can, " she says. " I'd like it to

be self-sustaining. I don't need a salary, but there are other manpower

costs involved. "

The organization has specialists who spend three days at the home of

the autistic child, she says, teaching the parents the skills to deal

with everyday problems and situations that arise.

" We let the parents know they can do it themselves, " she says.

Becky Lowe was one of the first parents to receive help from the

foundation.

Her 6-year-old daughter, , spent most of her days in her " own

world, " rarely interacting with others.

This summer, therapists from the foundation went to Mrs. Lowe's home in

rural Ohio. They rewarded when she interacted with others, and

they showed her parents how to elicit a response from her. After an

intense three days, Mrs. Lowe took to New York for follow-up help.

" The difference we've seen in her is remarkable, " says Mrs. Lowe. " It's

nothing short of a miracle. In the first five hours, she went up to her

twin brother and asked him to chase her. We burst into tears -- it was

the first time in her life she had requested that he do anything with

her. "

The Autism Society of America says that as many as 1.5 million people

today are autistic and that 1 in 250 children is born with autism. Boys

account for 80 percent of those cases.

Autism is a development disability that usually appears in the first

three years of life but can surface later. It is the result of a

neurological disorder that affects development in social interaction and

communication with varying degrees of severity.

" Children with autism are like a puzzle that you have to take apart and

put back together, " Mrs. Woodall says. " We want to help families make

the pieces fit and help these children reach their potential. "

The training that the foundation offers includes goal setting and

rewarding good behavior. It also often includes changing the way parents

interact with their autistic children.

Mrs. Lowe says that for her daughter, " the biggest change would be

forcing her to make a connection.

" Since I always knew what she wanted, I would just get it for her, but

by not making her ask for what she wants, I was doing more harm than

good. "

Mrs. Woodall met the Lowe family several months ago when she was going

through the process of adopting Isabella.

Mrs. Lowe worked for the adoption agency, and the two women began

talking about their lives and the subject of came up.

" I couldn't believe it, " Mrs. Lowe says. " We have no services where we

live in Ohio, and here was someone willing to help us -- even after all

she's been through. Most people would just shut down and live their own

life, but the fact that she's willing to help families who need it, says

something about her. You don't see that every day. "

Overseas reach

Beyond the training for parents, the foundation also helps support a

program for autistic children in an orphanage in Barlad, Romania, that

Mrs. Woodall started as part of her graduate studies.

Cristi's Outreach Foundation, named after a boy from a Romanian

orphanage with autism who inspired Mrs. Woodall to start the program,

provides education and therapy for orphans with disabilities.

Its success later gave Mrs. Woodall the confidence that the Brent

Woodall Foundation could do a lot of good. " We don't need or want to

overlap with other services, " she says. " We're just a jumpstart for

families. If they can learn advanced behavioral therapy and see a

difference in their child and their families, that's a wonderful thing. "

Mrs. Woodall's dedication to children and to her husband's memory

inspires others at the foundation, says chief operating officer

Griswold, who never met Brent but says he feels as if he knows him.

" You see what she's been through with 9-11 and having Pierce and then

adopting a little baby -- it's a lot, but she has a real passion for

kids, " he says. " Being able to have the foundation in Brent's name is

like continued sponsorship from him, like him watching out for her and

making sure she's able to achieve her goals. "

That's important to Mrs. Woodall.

" What I've tried to let people understand is that he was so much more

than the day he died, " she says. " I don't want anyone, especially our

daughter, to only associate who he is with 9-11, but rather with all the

interesting and intricate things that made him who he was -- a great guy

who loved kids. "

is a Dallas freelance writer.

E-mail lauramgriffin@...

RESOURCES

The Brent Woodall Foundation for Exceptional Children provides

education, training and financial support to families with autistic

children. For information, visit www.woodallkids.org, or call

1-800-209-9776.