My intro!!!

[Guest guest]

Hello everyone,

Apparently I am not alone on this journey... I am not a good sharer when talking

about my problems, but I will try.

Even when I was slim, I was fat!!! In my head... I was told since I was a very

young girl that I had large bones, but I didn't. I look to my pictures at 5 and

I see that I didn't have large bone, and I look to my pictures at 10 and I see

that I didn't have large bones, I look to my picture at 15 and I see that I

didn't have large bones. I was fine and healthy. This got in my brain and I

remember the first time I took prescription medication to loose weight and I was

on 7th or 8th grade and my mom thought that she was doing a good thing for me. I

think she got obsessed with that because she was gaining weight herself.

Today I am 35 and 60lbs. over weight. I never felt good about myself. I never

loved myself. Never... ever...

I tried every diet and failed! and failed! But once I told myself that I would

never give up and here I am.

I go thru cycles of depression and believe me or not, I am such an actress that

people don't notice. I finally told my doctor 3 or 4 years ago and I am doing

much better and sometimes great. I can transfer how I feel and blaim my husband

and be obssesed by little things, and at the same time know that I am wrong. I

get very irritable. I got diagnosed as Dysthymia, what is a mild depression that

starts at childhood or early teens.

O Gosh!!! I am working very hard on myself and improving.

Interesting enough I look at my life and see a very successful person, it is

quite unbelievable that I came all that way and so fast... People love me... But

nobody really knows how unhappy with myself I am.

I started to listen to this podcast and it is changing the way I think, I am

also doing self hypnosis and relaxation.

I know what to do and how to do, but now I am learning what I am and how to deal

with myself and my problems. I believe that once resolved I will be successful!

Good luck everyone.

Lara