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Hi Avie,

Just yesterday a (slim) classmate of mine invited me to " lose weight in 2010 on

facebook. " I have to admit that even though I am in the midst of trying to

resolve my weight struggle, having someone publicly point out to me that I had a

problem, and refer me to a resource for resolving it made me feel ashamed. I'm

guessing this is similar to how you feel about rejoining Overeaters Anonymous?

OA may have been helpful, but just thinking about it brings up the feelings of

shame and frustration that you even have this problem? Tell me about it!

In my better moments, I have to laugh at myself. Feeling afraid and ashamed is

not helpful to resolving the weight-struggle- in fact it's probably the worst

part of the weight struggle, because it takes away our sense of agency. Not only

do I get upset with myself for gaining weight, but I get upset for even thinking

about it and solutions to it! Not five minutes ago, I hid this screen from my

husband because I was embarrassed to admit I'd even joined this group! What is

it about weight problems that makes people ashamed even while they're trying to

resolving the problem?

I love how calls it " ending the weight struggle " - it makes me think that

not only do I want to lose the extra weight, I also want to lose the fear and

obsessiveness that goes with it - the preoccupation with calories, with the

nutritional components, with viewing every social occasion as a battle field

I'll probably betray myself on by eating things I've promised myself I won't,

with impulsive evening trips to get junkfood, with all that! I want to be

naturally slender - I want to be relaxed around food, to have faith in myself,

to let go of those thoughts so I can do more valuable things with my time and my

mind!

The waist is a terrible thing to mind, and the mind is a terrible thing to

waste!

We're here for you, Avie, and way to go for joining this support group, working

towards being naturally slender. We CAN do this. You are making progress by

posting here. By the time we're naturally slender, we won't feel embarrassed to

have worked towards a solution - we're going to feel triumphant!

-Bojanner

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