Re: ANY help I can get right now..!

[Guest guest]

The guilt spiral is a nasty one. I used to suffer from it all the time and

even do still from time to time.

What worked for me was EFT. Tap on it.

" Even though I am angry at myself for my overeating, I deeply and completely

love, forgive, and accept myself "

" Even though I feel great guilt over my binging, I deeply and completely

love, forgive, and accept myself. "

" Even though my binging fills me with great guilt and anger, I deeply and

completely love, forgive, and accept myself. "

Notice you am not tapping on the binging, but on the feelings you feel

about the binging. Your reminder phrase would alternate between " this anger "

and " this guilt. " I did this for 20 minutes, and the very next thing I ate

tasted INCREDIBLE. I wanted to eat it so slowly and savor every single chew.

It was awesome. No matter what I eat, I don't feel guilty or angry. Slowly,

over a few weeks of eating CRAP, my tastes slowly shifted to healthier food.

I wanted to eat healthy food and smaller quantities became more appealing to

me as well.

EFT is an awesome tool for dealing with negative emotions. If you don't

remember the tapping points, listen to the podcasts on EFT, or you can go to

a large number of websites on tapping, including www.tapping.com,

www.thetappingsolution.com, or www.energytapping.info.

On Tue, Nov 30, 2010 at 6:30 PM, madiemania <madiemania@...> wrote:

>

>

> I hate to write this, but I've been downspiralling for a while now. Things

> aren't going well. And I'm really starting to panic. Help me, please.

>

> I binge almost every night. And go to bed hating myself. Wake up hating

> myself but resolved to do better this day. But then can't stop myself from

> buying more sweets/cookies/snackbars... And despite all my good intentions

> to eat well during the day to prevent the night binge, I can't stay away

> from those foods either.

>

> I feel like my willpower is completely gone. How can I so fail so

> completely at a simple thing such as NOT buying more food? Why do I buy

> more? Why can't I stop? Why can't I NOT eat in the evenings? Why can't I

> stop once I've started?

>

> Please, please help. Any advice or experience you can share would be so

> appreciated. I feel like crying every day, because this is just getting

> worse, and nothing I do seems to help.

>

> Lots of love to you all

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I am excited to hear the advice you get because I am in the same boat. Love!!

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

ANY help I can get right now..!

I hate to write this, but I've been downspiralling for a while now. Things

aren't going well. And I'm really starting to panic. Help me, please.

I binge almost every night. And go to bed hating myself. Wake up hating myself

but resolved to do better this day. But then can't stop myself from buying more

sweets/cookies/snackbars... And despite all my good intentions to eat well

during the day to prevent the night binge, I can't stay away from those foods

either.

I feel like my willpower is completely gone. How can I so fail so completely at

a simple thing such as NOT buying more food? Why do I buy more? Why can't I

stop? Why can't I NOT eat in the evenings? Why can't I stop once I've started?

Please, please help. Any advice or experience you can share would be so

appreciated. I feel like crying every day, because this is just getting worse,

and nothing I do seems to help.

Lots of love to you all

[Guest guest]

I am excited to hear the advice you get because I am in the same boat. Love!!

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

ANY help I can get right now..!

I hate to write this, but I've been downspiralling for a while now. Things

aren't going well. And I'm really starting to panic. Help me, please.

I binge almost every night. And go to bed hating myself. Wake up hating myself

but resolved to do better this day. But then can't stop myself from buying more

sweets/cookies/snackbars... And despite all my good intentions to eat well

during the day to prevent the night binge, I can't stay away from those foods

either.

I feel like my willpower is completely gone. How can I so fail so completely at

a simple thing such as NOT buying more food? Why do I buy more? Why can't I

stop? Why can't I NOT eat in the evenings? Why can't I stop once I've started?

Please, please help. Any advice or experience you can share would be so

appreciated. I feel like crying every day, because this is just getting worse,

and nothing I do seems to help.

Lots of love to you all

[Guest guest]

You know...as I read your message...all I read what...WHY NOT? WHY CAN'T I?

NOT..NOT...NOT...and I'm sure you've heard this before, the more you think of

NOT doing something, you end up thinking only about that thing. Like if I

say...don't think of purple pigs with pink polka dots...instantly, you will

think of purple pigs with pink polka dots! Instead of thinking about things you

don't want to do...think about the things that you do want to do.

You are being way too hard on yourself. And by making a long things not to do

list...you are testing your will power even more. Try to make small changes. If

you feel that nothing is going right in your life...think of something very

small that is going right. I know sometimes it's very hard to find even one

positive...but here's one for you...be glad for your working body

parts...something as minor as having a thumb. Think how things would be if you

didn't have your thumb. I know it sounds really dumb...but shoot...it works for

me. It just takes one good and positive thought to start with...and then you

can find many other things to be grateful about.

When you feel like crying...don't try to be strong...just go ahead...and cry.

Then it's out...cuz trust me...you can't cry for too long.

Okay...so I don't want to lecture for too long. Hope you feel better :-)

>

> I hate to write this, but I've been downspiralling for a while now. Things

aren't going well. And I'm really starting to panic. Help me, please.

>

> I binge almost every night. And go to bed hating myself. Wake up hating myself

but resolved to do better this day. But then can't stop myself from buying more

sweets/cookies/snackbars... And despite all my good intentions to eat well

during the day to prevent the night binge, I can't stay away from those foods

either.

>

> I feel like my willpower is completely gone. How can I so fail so completely

at a simple thing such as NOT buying more food? Why do I buy more? Why can't I

stop? Why can't I NOT eat in the evenings? Why can't I stop once I've started?

>

> Please, please help. Any advice or experience you can share would be so

appreciated. I feel like crying every day, because this is just getting worse,

and nothing I do seems to help.

>

> Lots of love to you all

>

[Guest guest]

You know...as I read your message...all I read what...WHY NOT? WHY CAN'T I?

NOT..NOT...NOT...and I'm sure you've heard this before, the more you think of

NOT doing something, you end up thinking only about that thing. Like if I

say...don't think of purple pigs with pink polka dots...instantly, you will

think of purple pigs with pink polka dots! Instead of thinking about things you

don't want to do...think about the things that you do want to do.

You are being way too hard on yourself. And by making a long things not to do

list...you are testing your will power even more. Try to make small changes. If

you feel that nothing is going right in your life...think of something very

small that is going right. I know sometimes it's very hard to find even one

positive...but here's one for you...be glad for your working body

parts...something as minor as having a thumb. Think how things would be if you

didn't have your thumb. I know it sounds really dumb...but shoot...it works for

me. It just takes one good and positive thought to start with...and then you

can find many other things to be grateful about.

When you feel like crying...don't try to be strong...just go ahead...and cry.

Then it's out...cuz trust me...you can't cry for too long.

Okay...so I don't want to lecture for too long. Hope you feel better :-)

>

> I hate to write this, but I've been downspiralling for a while now. Things

aren't going well. And I'm really starting to panic. Help me, please.

>

> I binge almost every night. And go to bed hating myself. Wake up hating myself

but resolved to do better this day. But then can't stop myself from buying more

sweets/cookies/snackbars... And despite all my good intentions to eat well

during the day to prevent the night binge, I can't stay away from those foods

either.

>

> I feel like my willpower is completely gone. How can I so fail so completely

at a simple thing such as NOT buying more food? Why do I buy more? Why can't I

stop? Why can't I NOT eat in the evenings? Why can't I stop once I've started?

>

> Please, please help. Any advice or experience you can share would be so

appreciated. I feel like crying every day, because this is just getting worse,

and nothing I do seems to help.

>

> Lots of love to you all

>

[Guest guest]

((Madie))

I agree with Ruchi--you have listed a lot of " nots " .

What do you want instead of buying those foods? Are there other foods you want

to buy instead? Do you want to do another activity instead? Are you alone at

these times? Do you want to be with someone, or on the phone with someone,

instead?

Is there something you really and truly want to eat? If you turn it around and

give yourself permission to get a treat (one serving, instead of a family pack

that could turn into a binge), would you choose the foods you've been buying

lately? Would you choose any food?

How's school going? Do you have exams coming up? (Hmmm. Or did you up and

graduate while I wasn't looking, so the question is no longer relevant?)

How would it feel to sit with the panic?

I'm coming up on the end of a 10-day trip. There was one morning I woke up--way

too early, because of jet lag--and just felt sad. I started asking myself the

standard " what do I want instead? " and realized that really, I just wanted to

feel the sadness. At that particular moment, I felt like trying to choose

something else instead would mean denying what I was actually feeling--that it

was actually important to validate the sadness. As soon as I decided that, I

relaxed a bit. I sat with it (well, actually, it was more lying down in the dark

staring at the ceiling with it), and it just sort of faded away.

That's not always the way I deal with emotions--sometimes the " what do I want

instead " approach is much better. But sometimes... it's the right thing to do to

just feel the sadness. Or the panic about the downward spiral.

Have you been taking time lately to renew? I find that on a busy day, even

closing my eyes for two minutes and saying " I'm renewing now " helps. No--it's

not nearly as good as a two-hour nap, or half an hour with a book. But it sort

of helps me re-focus.

How's that success journal? I think it's a *major* success to reach out when

you're in the downward spiral. That's when it's often hardest to realize that a

little help goes a long way. So being able to send off the email is huge....

Redos? Not the woulda-shoulda-coulda playback, but focusing on how you would

prefer a similar situation to go the next time.

There was a recent episode where talked about the nightly redo and renew

(or at least, reviewing what you did that day to renew). I have felt a shift

since I started focusing on this. It's even more effective when I through in at

least one success for the day. All you have to do is remember to do it. :-)

Hang in there, Madie. You CAN do this.

________________________________

From: madiemania <madiemania@...>

weightloss

Sent: Tue, November 30, 2010 5:30:35 PM

Subject: ANY help I can get right now..!

I hate to write this, but I've been downspiralling for a while now. Things

aren't going well. And I'm really starting to panic. Help me, please.

I binge almost every night. And go to bed hating myself. Wake up hating myself

but resolved to do better this day. But then can't stop myself from buying more

sweets/cookies/snackbars... And despite all my good intentions to eat well

during the day to prevent the night binge, I can't stay away from those foods

either.

I feel like my willpower is completely gone. How can I so fail so completely at

a simple thing such as NOT buying more food? Why do I buy more? Why can't I

stop? Why can't I NOT eat in the evenings? Why can't I stop once I've started?

Please, please help. Any advice or experience you can share would be so

appreciated. I feel like crying every day, because this is just getting worse,

and nothing I do seems to help.

Lots of love to you all

[Guest guest]

Maddie,

I dont know that I can add anything to 's message. So ditto to all of her

comments.

I just want you to know you are not alone. I want you to believe that even if

you binge every night and eat foods that are not healthy for you that you are

OK. More than OK. You really are. You are not your weight struggles or food

issues. You deserve to love yourself and love yourself so completely that you

easily do what is healthy.

My advice is to be loving and kind to yourself (in addition to my ditto on

's comments). Sometimes I ask myself this question, " If I were my daughter

and she was struggling with this what would I say? What would I do? " and then

I try to use that language with myself.

I understand. You are not alone and you are more than this struggle. Give

yourself a big hug and do something fun today!

>

> I hate to write this, but I've been downspiralling for a while now. Things

aren't going well. And I'm really starting to panic. Help me, please.

>

> I binge almost every night. And go to bed hating myself. Wake up hating myself

but resolved to do better this day. But then can't stop myself from buying more

sweets/cookies/snackbars... And despite all my good intentions to eat well

during the day to prevent the night binge, I can't stay away from those foods

either.

>

> I feel like my willpower is completely gone. How can I so fail so completely

at a simple thing such as NOT buying more food? Why do I buy more? Why can't I

stop? Why can't I NOT eat in the evenings? Why can't I stop once I've started?

>

> Please, please help. Any advice or experience you can share would be so

appreciated. I feel like crying every day, because this is just getting worse,

and nothing I do seems to help.

>

> Lots of love to you all

>

[Guest guest]

Exactly a year ago I told all of my family and friends that I would lose a

hundred pounds by this time this year, I lost 49 pounds by May and was half way

there! I hate to say this too, but I've gained back 30 pounds! I hate myself;

but the only thing I can do is start again, because I know I can do it nad I

will do it! Like Renne says, each time you mess up will get shorter and shorter,

with Self Correcting...

>

> I hate to write this, but I've been downspiralling for a while now. Things

aren't going well. And I'm really starting to panic. Help me, please.

>

> I binge almost every night. And go to bed hating myself. Wake up hating myself

but resolved to do better this day. But then can't stop myself from buying more

sweets/cookies/snackbars... And despite all my good intentions to eat well

during the day to prevent the night binge, I can't stay away from those foods

either.

>

> I feel like my willpower is completely gone. How can I so fail so completely

at a simple thing such as NOT buying more food? Why do I buy more? Why can't I

stop? Why can't I NOT eat in the evenings? Why can't I stop once I've started?

>

> Please, please help. Any advice or experience you can share would be so

appreciated. I feel like crying every day, because this is just getting worse,

and nothing I do seems to help.

>

> Lots of love to you all

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I have been thinking about what to write to you. I think we can all relate.

For me, I do think of my issue as a food addiction, meaning I use food to

medicate myself. And so to take the metaphor one step further, with other

addictions, such as alcohol, one can " quit " . Unfortunately we cannot quit food,

so it puts us in the position to constantly having to deal around our

temptations. Furthermore, it is very typical in any addiction to have a

relapse. One step forward, two steps back. I think the key is to point your

feet in the right direction, and keep attempting to step forward.

Maybe that means a small victory- hooray- normally my binges last 1 hour and I

go through 2 pints of ice cream but today it lasted a half hour and I went

through only one. Hooray- I normally binge every night, this week I only binged

4 nights! Success!

Like you, I started about a year ago. I too wanted to lose about 100 pounds,

and have lost 43 with many plateaus and slip ups along the way. But I never

think about the 100 pounds because it was way too overwhelming. So I think of

my goals as temporary and achievable within say, a few weeks. Right now, I

really want to get to that next 10 pound marker, and I am 6 pounds away.

Breaking up the goal into smaller chunks gives me small wins.

Whenever I feel out of balance, which is what it sounds like you are saying I go

back to the beginning. I listen to 's first 20 podcasts again,

methodically going thru the exercises, USING THE JOURNAL and re-focusing. In

particular I really like the grayscale episode, kaizen, and self-correcting

episodes. I never really did the self-correcting measures (I actually posted

about them below last week) but recently I tried it and found them quite

effective. Once I found a way to release my tensions, and find in pleasures in

newer and more supportive ways it did remove a lot of my compulsion to deal with

it through food-medicating.

It's just so hard, the thing giving you comfort and pleasure - food- is also the

thing holding you back from achieving your goals. I totally relate.

A few other thoughts-- you are doing yourself a big favor if you have a protein

rich and substantial breakfast. I found that did a good job of curbing the

afternoon/nighttime out-of-control eating frenzy that you discuss. I had that

too. Also, I do like 's metaphor of the airplane flying from SF-NY. It is

never perfectly on course, but constantly redirecting in the right path to get

there. Same with us. Are we always going to be perfect? Hell no. But taking

the small measures, even if it is trying at the next meal to listen to your

hunger level and try not to go above-- say -- an " 8 " . Every small measure can

make a large long term impact. The Kaizen philosophy.

Most of all, the guilt, the self-loathing-- these are not your friends. I would

try to make a pact with yourself to be gentler. The food, the eating is working

for you in some way. You are needing comfort - or pleasure - and we all need

it. Oh finally, I found 's guided meditations quite helpful, especially

Sabotaging Self Sabotage which you can find on her website.

Good luck !!!

Gail

> >

> > I hate to write this, but I've been downspiralling for a while now. Things

aren't going well. And I'm really starting to panic. Help me, please.

> >

> > I binge almost every night. And go to bed hating myself. Wake up hating

myself but resolved to do better this day. But then can't stop myself from

buying more sweets/cookies/snackbars... And despite all my good intentions to

eat well during the day to prevent the night binge, I can't stay away from those

foods either.

> >

> > I feel like my willpower is completely gone. How can I so fail so completely

at a simple thing such as NOT buying more food? Why do I buy more? Why can't I

stop? Why can't I NOT eat in the evenings? Why can't I stop once I've started?

> >

> > Please, please help. Any advice or experience you can share would be so

appreciated. I feel like crying every day, because this is just getting worse,

and nothing I do seems to help.

> >

> > Lots of love to you all

> >

>