Guest guest Posted March 9, 2011 Report Share Posted March 9, 2011 I don't understand why I'm struggling again. I made so much progress after I found 's podcasts. For the first time in so long, I was feeling relaxed around food. I tuned into my body, listened to my hunger signals, and really began to WANT to take care of myself. Over 6-7 months, I really felt like I was moving towards being naturally slender. I only lost 2-3 pounds, but I was okay with that because I only have ~10 pounds to lose. Most importantly, I had NO desire to go back to my eating disorders. When I lost weight before, it was by starving myself and overexercising. Then after a few months when I couldn't stand it anymore, I would swing to binging and purging... talk about extremes! To maintain that lower weight (which, let's face it, with those behaviours wasn't very long) took extreme hypervigilence. But after listening to , I had no desire to engage in either behaviour, and I comfortably maintained that weight loss with no extra effort. But I began to unravel last month. It was all so easy and effortless, but now I'm struggling. I feel like every day is a struggle. Last night, I overate on milk chocolate. The day before, I overate on homemade nanaimo bars (darn, why do I love to bake??). No binges, at least I don't do those anymore, but there are times, like last night, when I am so utterly frustrated and feeling such rage at myself that I want scream and pull out my hair. Those few pounds that I lost have come right back, and I'm soooo angry at myself for being back at the start. It feels like I'm always going to be stuck. Sorry to vent.... ... I hope everyone is in a better place than I am right now. :-( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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