Re: Really Doing It! - Episode #5

[Guest guest]

>

> What's the " positive intent " behind our undesirable behaviors (overeating,

under exercising, etc.)? What's the " mete-outcome " or ultimate goal?

>

> I might've oversimplified here, so feel free to add more. I'm just trying to

keep the momentum going. :-)

>

> I'm still thinking about this one, but " peace " and " joy " are probably at the

top of my list. I eat to calm myself down and relax, but I also eat to

experience joy and connection with others. OK, knowing this is great but did I

miss something? Maybe how to experience these things without using food?

>

I was just talking with a co-worker about this today. He says he ate a lot this

past weekend. For him, eating is a way to connect to family and friends. For

me, not so much. But maybe that's because I *don't* go out a lot with friends.

Most of my overeating is at home alone. I'm not sure what the positive intent

is. Eating out of boredom isn't going to make it 'less' boring...

Eldred

[Guest guest]

>

> What's the " positive intent " behind our undesirable behaviors (overeating,

under exercising, etc.)? What's the " mete-outcome " or ultimate goal?

>

> I might've oversimplified here, so feel free to add more. I'm just trying to

keep the momentum going. :-)

>

> I'm still thinking about this one, but " peace " and " joy " are probably at the

top of my list. I eat to calm myself down and relax, but I also eat to

experience joy and connection with others. OK, knowing this is great but did I

miss something? Maybe how to experience these things without using food?

>

I was just talking with a co-worker about this today. He says he ate a lot this

past weekend. For him, eating is a way to connect to family and friends. For

me, not so much. But maybe that's because I *don't* go out a lot with friends.

Most of my overeating is at home alone. I'm not sure what the positive intent

is. Eating out of boredom isn't going to make it 'less' boring...

Eldred

[Guest guest]

Positive Intent for my over eating is to provide an escape for me, as momentary

as it may be. The meta-outcome is that I for a few brief seconds get to think

about something else other than what has caused me stress or anger. At times,

it also allows me to bond with those that I am with. Lastly, oftentimes, I am

transported to another day and time, when I was carefree and knew nothing of

responsibility or weight problems.

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Re: Really Doing It! - Episode #5

>

> What's the " positive intent " behind our undesirable behaviors (overeating,

under exercising, etc.)? What's the " mete-outcome " or ultimate goal?

>

> I might've oversimplified here, so feel free to add more. I'm just trying to

keep the momentum going. :-)

>

> I'm still thinking about this one, but " peace " and " joy " are probably at the

top of my list. I eat to calm myself down and relax, but I also eat to

experience joy and connection with others. OK, knowing this is great but did I

miss something? Maybe how to experience these things without using food?

>

I was just talking with a co-worker about this today. He says he ate a lot this

past weekend. For him, eating is a way to connect to family and friends. For

me, not so much. But maybe that's because I *don't* go out a lot with friends.

Most of my overeating is at home alone. I'm not sure what the positive intent

is. Eating out of boredom isn't going to make it 'less' boring...

Eldred

[Guest guest]

Positive Intent for my over eating is to provide an escape for me, as momentary

as it may be. The meta-outcome is that I for a few brief seconds get to think

about something else other than what has caused me stress or anger. At times,

it also allows me to bond with those that I am with. Lastly, oftentimes, I am

transported to another day and time, when I was carefree and knew nothing of

responsibility or weight problems.

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Re: Really Doing It! - Episode #5

>

> What's the " positive intent " behind our undesirable behaviors (overeating,

under exercising, etc.)? What's the " mete-outcome " or ultimate goal?

>

> I might've oversimplified here, so feel free to add more. I'm just trying to

keep the momentum going. :-)

>

> I'm still thinking about this one, but " peace " and " joy " are probably at the

top of my list. I eat to calm myself down and relax, but I also eat to

experience joy and connection with others. OK, knowing this is great but did I

miss something? Maybe how to experience these things without using food?

>

I was just talking with a co-worker about this today. He says he ate a lot this

past weekend. For him, eating is a way to connect to family and friends. For

me, not so much. But maybe that's because I *don't* go out a lot with friends.

Most of my overeating is at home alone. I'm not sure what the positive intent

is. Eating out of boredom isn't going to make it 'less' boring...

Eldred

[Guest guest]

I think that the Meta-Outcomes that I am looking for by overeating are Peace,

Joy, and Love.

So, now the long term question to be asking myself is how can I give myself more

Peace, more Joy, and more Love in my life?

A big " thank you " to all of you who are participating in writing out your

answers to these foundational episodes. I am loving the accountability to not

just listen to the episode and think about it briefly but to really think it

through and sit down with the answers.

Annie

[Guest guest]

My positive intent is protection from failure and boredom. And once I got at the

root of this positive intent, I found that the meta outcome for me is ultimately

peace and joy.

I guess deep down we're all looking for the same things. We all just want

happiness and love for ourselves and those around us.

I noticed that once I accepted this part of me, like most of you, I noticed a

shift in myself. I felt much mroe aligned and closer to my inner self.

I've been noticing how I've been feeling over the past couple of weeks ever

since I started this journey with all of you, and I can not tell you how much

I've succeeded in achieving my daily goals regarding my eating habits. Much like

most of you, I'm sure, this program is astonishingly working for me!

Best,

>

> Hey guys,

>

> Heres episode 5! Like I said I was doing them when I wasn't online but not

posting them so I wanted to catch up.

>

> I definitely like the idea of positive intent and I also believe that all

behaviors are positively intended. I also like the idea that if you try to

suppress or get rid of that intent it will just come up stronger and perhaps in

ways you don't want it! I certainly have an inner conflict, that is for sure!

Like most of you, I've been struggling with this for most of my teenage and

adult life and its taken a lot out of me!

>

> Reading the example of the high powered woman client who ate to give herself

some down time definitely resonates with me. I find that when I'm more relaxed

and better about giving myself down time, it's a lot easier to lose weight. I'm

sure that's no coincidence! This morning I overate and I think its because I

have this whole day off but I had all these ideas in my head about getting so

much work done and I wrote out my to do list before I even had breakfast! I did

it because it was like setting my intent for the day but somehow it overwhelmed

me. I'm also going to be going back home to see family and friends I haven't

seen in a while so that scares me too.

>

> So what are the gifts that part of me is trying to give me?

> - Comfort and safety, definitely. I push myself fairly hard and am not too

easy on myself but food is always there to comfort and console me after a long

hard day. And feel like I have a safe base to come home to.

> - Fun. I get bored easily and TV doesn't always hold my attention so I add

food into the mix to make it a more fun and relaxing activity!

>

> I think those are definitely the main ones!

>

> Meta-outcomes

> I eat to because I'm anxious, angry, sad, lonely, and bored. The meta-outcomes

there are to give me the above things instead. Comfort, safety, peace, love, and

good times!

>

> I agree that the more I can honor this part of me that wants to give me these

things, the more I'll be in inner alignment and move easier towards my goals of

health and fitness. I've been trying to honor these goals in the past week but

this morning I didn't do well. I allowed my choc chip pancakes to give me the

fun and comfort that part of me wanted. I guess next time I should curl up in

some sweats and give myself some nice downtime that would leave me feeling

comforted and good, over time!

>

> Thanks for listening! I'm open to any comments, suggestions as always!

>

> Much love,

>

>

[Guest guest]

I love the idea of positive intents and 's right- there are only a couple

of them for me.

Usually I am trying to give myself some rest or a break in the afternoon of a

busy day, but don't want to take the time to actually sit down and rest. My

other positive intent is to gain control when things get out of my control at

home with 2 kids, husband, dog, etc.

WIth both of those, I'm looking for peace and calmness. When I do sit down to

look at a magazine for 10 min, I'm taking excellent care of myself in a very

healthy, life-affirming way.

I like that the triggers can get narrowed down to really just a few- it's much

less overwhelming that way. And I can be more aware of my positive intents as I

go through my day.

Kim.

>

> Hey guys,

>

> Heres episode 5! Like I said I was doing them when I wasn't online but not

posting them so I wanted to catch up.

>

> I definitely like the idea of positive intent and I also believe that all

behaviors are positively intended. I also like the idea that if you try to

suppress or get rid of that intent it will just come up stronger and perhaps in

ways you don't want it! I certainly have an inner conflict, that is for sure!

Like most of you, I've been struggling with this for most of my teenage and

adult life and its taken a lot out of me!

>

> Reading the example of the high powered woman client who ate to give herself

some down time definitely resonates with me. I find that when I'm more relaxed

and better about giving myself down time, it's a lot easier to lose weight. I'm

sure that's no coincidence! This morning I overate and I think its because I

have this whole day off but I had all these ideas in my head about getting so

much work done and I wrote out my to do list before I even had breakfast! I did

it because it was like setting my intent for the day but somehow it overwhelmed

me. I'm also going to be going back home to see family and friends I haven't

seen in a while so that scares me too.

>

> So what are the gifts that part of me is trying to give me?

> - Comfort and safety, definitely. I push myself fairly hard and am not too

easy on myself but food is always there to comfort and console me after a long

hard day. And feel like I have a safe base to come home to.

> - Fun. I get bored easily and TV doesn't always hold my attention so I add

food into the mix to make it a more fun and relaxing activity!

>

> I think those are definitely the main ones!

>

> Meta-outcomes

> I eat to because I'm anxious, angry, sad, lonely, and bored. The meta-outcomes

there are to give me the above things instead. Comfort, safety, peace, love, and

good times!

>

> I agree that the more I can honor this part of me that wants to give me these

things, the more I'll be in inner alignment and move easier towards my goals of

health and fitness. I've been trying to honor these goals in the past week but

this morning I didn't do well. I allowed my choc chip pancakes to give me the

fun and comfort that part of me wanted. I guess next time I should curl up in

some sweats and give myself some nice downtime that would leave me feeling

comforted and good, over time!

>

> Thanks for listening! I'm open to any comments, suggestions as always!

>

> Much love,

>

>

[Guest guest]

sorry i am a little late... i am in such a horrible place, i feel. i've had

binges lately and just dont recognize myself right now. i am really hating

everything right now. i am depressed and that's not helping me when that

voice wants me to start bingeing. any suggestions on what to do in that

moment when you want to binge but have not started yet?!?!

anyways, episode 5:

positive intent: i do enjoy solitude, so a binge certainly provides that,

along with pleasure, distraction, entertainment, comfort, avoidance of life,

fun, counting calories provides control... everything everyone else said..

maybe it's a moment for me to non think, since i do that a lot. basically, i

think it's mostly a way for me to feel " good " when i've been kinda sad and

lethargic lately. also, bingeing is the culmination of so much negative

self-talk... because i say i dont like my body/face when in reality, i am

actually a pretty normal weight and am pretty cute

metaoutcome: peace, comfort, joy... all the positivity i deserve

i feel like i do a lot of inner work, lots of yoga or whatever, but i still

have so much negative thinking and so i dont feel like i get anywhere...

it's a little annoying :-} and, i'm serious, if anyone has suggestions on

what to do in that moment when you want to binge but have not started yet...

grateful for u

thanks for reading,

Avie

On Tue, Jan 4, 2011 at 4:43 PM, sabrummett <sabrummett@...> wrote:

>

>

>

>

> My positive intent is protection from failure and boredom. And once I got

> at the root of this positive intent, I found that the meta outcome for me is

> ultimately peace and joy.

>

> I guess deep down we're all looking for the same things. We all just want

> happiness and love for ourselves and those around us.

>

> I noticed that once I accepted this part of me, like most of you, I noticed

> a shift in myself. I felt much mroe aligned and closer to my inner self.

>

> I've been noticing how I've been feeling over the past couple of weeks ever

> since I started this journey with all of you, and I can not tell you how

> much I've succeeded in achieving my daily goals regarding my eating habits.

> Much like most of you, I'm sure, this program is astonishingly working for

> me!

>

> Best,

>

>

>

>

> >

> > Hey guys,

> >

> > Heres episode 5! Like I said I was doing them when I wasn't online but

> not posting them so I wanted to catch up.

> >

> > I definitely like the idea of positive intent and I also believe that all

> behaviors are positively intended. I also like the idea that if you try to

> suppress or get rid of that intent it will just come up stronger and perhaps

> in ways you don't want it! I certainly have an inner conflict, that is for

> sure! Like most of you, I've been struggling with this for most of my

> teenage and adult life and its taken a lot out of me!

> >

> > Reading the example of the high powered woman client who ate to give

> herself some down time definitely resonates with me. I find that when I'm

> more relaxed and better about giving myself down time, it's a lot easier to

> lose weight. I'm sure that's no coincidence! This morning I overate and I

> think its because I have this whole day off but I had all these ideas in my

> head about getting so much work done and I wrote out my to do list before I

> even had breakfast! I did it because it was like setting my intent for the

> day but somehow it overwhelmed me. I'm also going to be going back home to

> see family and friends I haven't seen in a while so that scares me too.

> >

> > So what are the gifts that part of me is trying to give me?

> > - Comfort and safety, definitely. I push myself fairly hard and am not

> too easy on myself but food is always there to comfort and console me after

> a long hard day. And feel like I have a safe base to come home to.

> > - Fun. I get bored easily and TV doesn't always hold my attention so I

> add food into the mix to make it a more fun and relaxing activity!

> >

> > I think those are definitely the main ones!

> >

> > Meta-outcomes

> > I eat to because I'm anxious, angry, sad, lonely, and bored. The

> meta-outcomes there are to give me the above things instead. Comfort,

> safety, peace, love, and good times!

> >

> > I agree that the more I can honor this part of me that wants to give me

> these things, the more I'll be in inner alignment and move easier towards my

> goals of health and fitness. I've been trying to honor these goals in the

> past week but this morning I didn't do well. I allowed my choc chip pancakes

> to give me the fun and comfort that part of me wanted. I guess next time I

> should curl up in some sweats and give myself some nice downtime that would

> leave me feeling comforted and good, over time!

> >

> > Thanks for listening! I'm open to any comments, suggestions as always!

> >

> > Much love,

> >

> >

>

>

>

--

Avie Linden

University of Michigan - Anthropology

Program in the Environment, History of Art

248.535.0521

[Guest guest]

sorry i am a little late... i am in such a horrible place, i feel. i've had

binges lately and just dont recognize myself right now. i am really hating

everything right now. i am depressed and that's not helping me when that

voice wants me to start bingeing. any suggestions on what to do in that

moment when you want to binge but have not started yet?!?!

anyways, episode 5:

positive intent: i do enjoy solitude, so a binge certainly provides that,

along with pleasure, distraction, entertainment, comfort, avoidance of life,

fun, counting calories provides control... everything everyone else said..

maybe it's a moment for me to non think, since i do that a lot. basically, i

think it's mostly a way for me to feel " good " when i've been kinda sad and

lethargic lately. also, bingeing is the culmination of so much negative

self-talk... because i say i dont like my body/face when in reality, i am

actually a pretty normal weight and am pretty cute

metaoutcome: peace, comfort, joy... all the positivity i deserve

i feel like i do a lot of inner work, lots of yoga or whatever, but i still

have so much negative thinking and so i dont feel like i get anywhere...

it's a little annoying :-} and, i'm serious, if anyone has suggestions on

what to do in that moment when you want to binge but have not started yet...

grateful for u

thanks for reading,

Avie

On Tue, Jan 4, 2011 at 4:43 PM, sabrummett <sabrummett@...> wrote:

>

>

>

>

> My positive intent is protection from failure and boredom. And once I got

> at the root of this positive intent, I found that the meta outcome for me is

> ultimately peace and joy.

>

> I guess deep down we're all looking for the same things. We all just want

> happiness and love for ourselves and those around us.

>

> I noticed that once I accepted this part of me, like most of you, I noticed

> a shift in myself. I felt much mroe aligned and closer to my inner self.

>

> I've been noticing how I've been feeling over the past couple of weeks ever

> since I started this journey with all of you, and I can not tell you how

> much I've succeeded in achieving my daily goals regarding my eating habits.

> Much like most of you, I'm sure, this program is astonishingly working for

> me!

>

> Best,

>

>

>

>

> >

> > Hey guys,

> >

> > Heres episode 5! Like I said I was doing them when I wasn't online but

> not posting them so I wanted to catch up.

> >

> > I definitely like the idea of positive intent and I also believe that all

> behaviors are positively intended. I also like the idea that if you try to

> suppress or get rid of that intent it will just come up stronger and perhaps

> in ways you don't want it! I certainly have an inner conflict, that is for

> sure! Like most of you, I've been struggling with this for most of my

> teenage and adult life and its taken a lot out of me!

> >

> > Reading the example of the high powered woman client who ate to give

> herself some down time definitely resonates with me. I find that when I'm

> more relaxed and better about giving myself down time, it's a lot easier to

> lose weight. I'm sure that's no coincidence! This morning I overate and I

> think its because I have this whole day off but I had all these ideas in my

> head about getting so much work done and I wrote out my to do list before I

> even had breakfast! I did it because it was like setting my intent for the

> day but somehow it overwhelmed me. I'm also going to be going back home to

> see family and friends I haven't seen in a while so that scares me too.

> >

> > So what are the gifts that part of me is trying to give me?

> > - Comfort and safety, definitely. I push myself fairly hard and am not

> too easy on myself but food is always there to comfort and console me after

> a long hard day. And feel like I have a safe base to come home to.

> > - Fun. I get bored easily and TV doesn't always hold my attention so I

> add food into the mix to make it a more fun and relaxing activity!

> >

> > I think those are definitely the main ones!

> >

> > Meta-outcomes

> > I eat to because I'm anxious, angry, sad, lonely, and bored. The

> meta-outcomes there are to give me the above things instead. Comfort,

> safety, peace, love, and good times!

> >

> > I agree that the more I can honor this part of me that wants to give me

> these things, the more I'll be in inner alignment and move easier towards my

> goals of health and fitness. I've been trying to honor these goals in the

> past week but this morning I didn't do well. I allowed my choc chip pancakes

> to give me the fun and comfort that part of me wanted. I guess next time I

> should curl up in some sweats and give myself some nice downtime that would

> leave me feeling comforted and good, over time!

> >

> > Thanks for listening! I'm open to any comments, suggestions as always!

> >

> > Much love,

> >

> >

>

>

>

--

Avie Linden

University of Michigan - Anthropology

Program in the Environment, History of Art

248.535.0521

[Guest guest]

I don't know if it works but I just read an article that said right in the

moment of the temptation to squeeze your hands into fists. That the muscles

contracting will help you resist. But it only works right in that moment when

you are tempted.

Sent from my iPad

On Jan 9, 2011, at 10:44 AM, onewhorled <onewhorled@...> wrote:

> sorry i am a little late... i am in such a horrible place, i feel. i've had

> binges lately and just dont recognize myself right now. i am really hating

> everything right now. i am depressed and that's not helping me when that

> voice wants me to start bingeing. any suggestions on what to do in that

> moment when you want to binge but have not started yet?!?!

>

> anyways, episode 5:

>

> positive intent: i do enjoy solitude, so a binge certainly provides that,

> along with pleasure, distraction, entertainment, comfort, avoidance of life,

> fun, counting calories provides control... everything everyone else said..

> maybe it's a moment for me to non think, since i do that a lot. basically, i

> think it's mostly a way for me to feel " good " when i've been kinda sad and

> lethargic lately. also, bingeing is the culmination of so much negative

> self-talk... because i say i dont like my body/face when in reality, i am

> actually a pretty normal weight and am pretty cute

>

> metaoutcome: peace, comfort, joy... all the positivity i deserve

>

> i feel like i do a lot of inner work, lots of yoga or whatever, but i still

> have so much negative thinking and so i dont feel like i get anywhere...

> it's a little annoying :-} and, i'm serious, if anyone has suggestions on

> what to do in that moment when you want to binge but have not started yet...

>

> grateful for u

>

> thanks for reading,

> Avie

>

>

>

>

>

> On Tue, Jan 4, 2011 at 4:43 PM, sabrummett <sabrummett@...> wrote:

>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>> My positive intent is protection from failure and boredom. And once I got

>> at the root of this positive intent, I found that the meta outcome for me is

>> ultimately peace and joy.

>>

>> I guess deep down we're all looking for the same things. We all just want

>> happiness and love for ourselves and those around us.

>>

>> I noticed that once I accepted this part of me, like most of you, I noticed

>> a shift in myself. I felt much mroe aligned and closer to my inner self.

>>

>> I've been noticing how I've been feeling over the past couple of weeks ever

>> since I started this journey with all of you, and I can not tell you how

>> much I've succeeded in achieving my daily goals regarding my eating habits.

>> Much like most of you, I'm sure, this program is astonishingly working for

>> me!

>>

>> Best,

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>>

>>> Hey guys,

>>>

>>> Heres episode 5! Like I said I was doing them when I wasn't online but

>> not posting them so I wanted to catch up.

>>>

>>> I definitely like the idea of positive intent and I also believe that all

>> behaviors are positively intended. I also like the idea that if you try to

>> suppress or get rid of that intent it will just come up stronger and perhaps

>> in ways you don't want it! I certainly have an inner conflict, that is for

>> sure! Like most of you, I've been struggling with this for most of my

>> teenage and adult life and its taken a lot out of me!

>>>

>>> Reading the example of the high powered woman client who ate to give

>> herself some down time definitely resonates with me. I find that when I'm

>> more relaxed and better about giving myself down time, it's a lot easier to

>> lose weight. I'm sure that's no coincidence! This morning I overate and I

>> think its because I have this whole day off but I had all these ideas in my

>> head about getting so much work done and I wrote out my to do list before I

>> even had breakfast! I did it because it was like setting my intent for the

>> day but somehow it overwhelmed me. I'm also going to be going back home to

>> see family and friends I haven't seen in a while so that scares me too.

>>>

>>> So what are the gifts that part of me is trying to give me?

>>> - Comfort and safety, definitely. I push myself fairly hard and am not

>> too easy on myself but food is always there to comfort and console me after

>> a long hard day. And feel like I have a safe base to come home to.

>>> - Fun. I get bored easily and TV doesn't always hold my attention so I

>> add food into the mix to make it a more fun and relaxing activity!

>>>

>>> I think those are definitely the main ones!

>>>

>>> Meta-outcomes

>>> I eat to because I'm anxious, angry, sad, lonely, and bored. The

>> meta-outcomes there are to give me the above things instead. Comfort,

>> safety, peace, love, and good times!

>>>

>>> I agree that the more I can honor this part of me that wants to give me

>> these things, the more I'll be in inner alignment and move easier towards my

>> goals of health and fitness. I've been trying to honor these goals in the

>> past week but this morning I didn't do well. I allowed my choc chip pancakes

>> to give me the fun and comfort that part of me wanted. I guess next time I

>> should curl up in some sweats and give myself some nice downtime that would

>> leave me feeling comforted and good, over time!

>>>

>>> Thanks for listening! I'm open to any comments, suggestions as always!

>>>

>>> Much love,

>>>

>>>

>>

>>

>>

>

>

>

> --

> Avie Linden

> University of Michigan - Anthropology

> Program in the Environment, History of Art

> 248.535.0521

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

>any suggestions on what to do in that

>moment when you want to binge but have not started yet?!?!

Avie, I found this article on an e-mail list several years ago. The group no

longer exists, but this is one that I pull out and read often. Following these

steps will often times stop a binge before it starts, if I ask myself the

questions and go through the steps. I always tell myself that if I get to the

end of the babystep and I still want to eat, I can. Usually I feel better and I

don't want to.

I hope this helps you as much as it has helped me. Thank you for bringing this

to mind. I hadn't pulled it out in a very long time, and I needed to read it

again.

Annie

----------------

FINDING ALTERNATIVES

If food is a comfort or an avoidance, then when moments of Fat

Machinery take place, you want to realize that food is not the

solution and start working towards how you can in fact solve the

problem.

Problems can be little (i.e. I forgot to pay that bill!), and they

can be big (i.e. getting divorced). The steps to solving those

problems may be vastly different. One might take making changes in

how you organize your bills, the other might take arranging difficult

family meetings or getting into some counseling. But in either type

of situation, food will provide a very temporary comfort and will

never, ever solve the actual problem! In fact, it will make it worse

by making you feel worse about yourself.

TO DO NOW

In The 7 Secrets of Slim People by Vikki Hansen and Goodman,

they suggest the following. Put it on post-it or index card and put

it where you can see it. Follow it everytime you find yourself in Fat

Machinery.

" 1. Ask yourself, 'Am I physically hungry?'

2. If the answer is no, ask yourself, 'What am I REALLY hungry for?'

3. If the answer is something big and seemingly unattainable at that

moment, such as a new job, a new partner, or a long vacation, ask

yourself, 'What baby steps can I take RIGHT NOW to give myself what I

want?'

4. Ask your heart (not your head) and see what thoughts come up. It's

usually a simple step you can do NOW, such as walking and meditating

for ten minutes.

5. DO IT!! With one baby step at a time, larger needs and wishes

will get filled, sooner than you could possibly imagine. You MUST

feed your important needs and wishes NOW.

6. If it takes more than 15 minutes or $15, it is not a baby step. "

[Guest guest]

Hi Avie,

What comes to mind for me are not things to do the second before the binge

starts--it's hours or days before. Inner work that you can do when you're *not*

in the binge mind frame, to help keep you from getting there in the first

place....

1. List the other things you do in your life--besides binge. School? Work?

Family activities (I don't remember if you live at home. If so, maybe separate

categories for every day things like meals together, plus another category for

" events " ), time with friends, time doing nothing. As you look at the items on

your list, are there some you really enjoy, but don't do enough? Are there some

that you do a lot, and don't enjoy? Hmmm. Maybe write these things on small

slips of paper, so you can rearrange them in different ways.

2. Look at your list of positive intent. What other ways can you get the same

thing? Where else can you go for solitude? Is there something else you can

choose for comfort? When you do one of these things, take a moment to remind

yourself " I'm doing this because it's comforting " or whatever....

3. Do you feel like you're not in control of your life? What are some other

things you can do to feel less out of control? Maybe take another look at your

list from #1, and see if some of the things there are adding to the out of

control feeling....

4. This might just be a matter of semantics, but to me, there's a very big

difference between overeating (even if it's only to the point where I maintain

instead of lose) and a binge. Some of the items on your list--fun,

entertainment, distraction, even comfort--go with what I define as overeating.

When I start doing that, and I recognize it, I take a moment to honor the

intent, ask myself how I want to feel, and it generally passes.

But a binge--that's something else entirely. To me, the point of a binge is

pain, not pleasure. If I can push myself to the point of eating so much that I

physically hurt, I do not have to deal with whatever emotion I don't want to

deal with. It's like I'm just about to think a thought. But my subconscious mind

knows that if I think it, I will hurt. I will feel sad or guilty or unworthy or

insulted or, well, hurt. So instead of thinking this thought and feeling the

pain from it, it slips in another thought-- " EAT! "

I still find myself on the edge of this sort of binge on occasion. When I

recognize it, usually reminding myself not to hurt myself is enough to slow me

down long enough to allow myself to get out of the kitchen. If I'm out of the

kitchen, I can usually find something else to help me through. Reading here or

on the IOWL group on SparkPeople, listening to a podcast, listening to one of

the guided journeys, taking a nap....

But the best way to keep from getting to this point is to do the deeper work

*before* you get to the beginning of a binge. If you only listen to the podcasts

when you're upset, they'll help--but they have a different effect when you

listen when you're in a great mood. How's that success journal, or gratitude

list? You were posting for a while, and said it helped. Maybe it's time to try

again?

________________________________

From: onewhorled <onewhorled@...>

weightloss

Sent: Sun, January 9, 2011 5:44:32 PM

Subject: Re: Re: Really Doing It! - Episode #5

sorry i am a little late... i am in such a horrible place, i feel. i've had

binges lately and just dont recognize myself right now. i am really hating

everything right now. i am depressed and that's not helping me when that

voice wants me to start bingeing. any suggestions on what to do in that

moment when you want to binge but have not started yet?!?!

anyways, episode 5:

positive intent: i do enjoy solitude, so a binge certainly provides that,

along with pleasure, distraction, entertainment, comfort, avoidance of life,

fun, counting calories provides control... everything everyone else said..

maybe it's a moment for me to non think, since i do that a lot. basically, i

think it's mostly a way for me to feel " good " when i've been kinda sad and

lethargic lately. also, bingeing is the culmination of so much negative

self-talk... because i say i dont like my body/face when in reality, i am

actually a pretty normal weight and am pretty cute

metaoutcome: peace, comfort, joy... all the positivity i deserve

i feel like i do a lot of inner work, lots of yoga or whatever, but i still

have so much negative thinking and so i dont feel like i get anywhere...

it's a little annoying :-} and, i'm serious, if anyone has suggestions on

what to do in that moment when you want to binge but have not started yet...

grateful for u

thanks for reading,

Avie

[Guest guest]

,

thank you for the comments you have shared. Working on things when we are not in

the midst of a breakdown. I will work on this.

Thank you

Kim

>

> Hi Avie,

>

> What comes to mind for me are not things to do the second before the binge

> starts--it's hours or days before. Inner work that you can do when you're

*not*

> in the binge mind frame, to help keep you from getting there in the first

> place....

>

> 1. List the other things you do in your life--besides binge. School? Work?

> Family activities (I don't remember if you live at home. If so, maybe separate

> categories for every day things like meals together, plus another category for

> " events " ), time with friends, time doing nothing. As you look at the items on

> your list, are there some you really enjoy, but don't do enough? Are there

some

> that you do a lot, and don't enjoy? Hmmm. Maybe write these things on small

> slips of paper, so you can rearrange them in different ways.

>

>

> 2. Look at your list of positive intent. What other ways can you get the same

> thing? Where else can you go for solitude? Is there something else you can

> choose for comfort? When you do one of these things, take a moment to remind

> yourself " I'm doing this because it's comforting " or whatever....

>

> 3. Do you feel like you're not in control of your life? What are some other

> things you can do to feel less out of control? Maybe take another look at your

> list from #1, and see if some of the things there are adding to the out of

> control feeling....

>

> 4. This might just be a matter of semantics, but to me, there's a very big

> difference between overeating (even if it's only to the point where I maintain

> instead of lose) and a binge. Some of the items on your list--fun,

> entertainment, distraction, even comfort--go with what I define as overeating.

> When I start doing that, and I recognize it, I take a moment to honor the

> intent, ask myself how I want to feel, and it generally passes.

>

> But a binge--that's something else entirely. To me, the point of a binge is

> pain, not pleasure. If I can push myself to the point of eating so much that I

> physically hurt, I do not have to deal with whatever emotion I don't want to

> deal with. It's like I'm just about to think a thought. But my subconscious

mind

> knows that if I think it, I will hurt. I will feel sad or guilty or unworthy

or

> insulted or, well, hurt. So instead of thinking this thought and feeling the

> pain from it, it slips in another thought-- " EAT! "

>

> I still find myself on the edge of this sort of binge on occasion. When I

> recognize it, usually reminding myself not to hurt myself is enough to slow me

> down long enough to allow myself to get out of the kitchen. If I'm out of the

> kitchen, I can usually find something else to help me through. Reading here or

> on the IOWL group on SparkPeople, listening to a podcast, listening to one of

> the guided journeys, taking a nap....

>

> But the best way to keep from getting to this point is to do the deeper work

> *before* you get to the beginning of a binge. If you only listen to the

podcasts

> when you're upset, they'll help--but they have a different effect when you

> listen when you're in a great mood. How's that success journal, or gratitude

> list? You were posting for a while, and said it helped. Maybe it's time to try

> again?

>

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________

> From: onewhorled <onewhorled@...>

> weightloss

> Sent: Sun, January 9, 2011 5:44:32 PM

> Subject: Re: Re: Really Doing It! - Episode #5

>

> sorry i am a little late... i am in such a horrible place, i feel. i've had

> binges lately and just dont recognize myself right now. i am really hating

> everything right now. i am depressed and that's not helping me when that

> voice wants me to start bingeing. any suggestions on what to do in that

> moment when you want to binge but have not started yet?!?!

>

> anyways, episode 5:

>

> positive intent: i do enjoy solitude, so a binge certainly provides that,

> along with pleasure, distraction, entertainment, comfort, avoidance of life,

> fun, counting calories provides control... everything everyone else said..

> maybe it's a moment for me to non think, since i do that a lot. basically, i

> think it's mostly a way for me to feel " good " when i've been kinda sad and

> lethargic lately. also, bingeing is the culmination of so much negative

> self-talk... because i say i dont like my body/face when in reality, i am

> actually a pretty normal weight and am pretty cute

>

> metaoutcome: peace, comfort, joy... all the positivity i deserve

>

> i feel like i do a lot of inner work, lots of yoga or whatever, but i still

> have so much negative thinking and so i dont feel like i get anywhere...

> it's a little annoying :-} and, i'm serious, if anyone has suggestions on

> what to do in that moment when you want to binge but have not started yet...

>

> grateful for u

>

> thanks for reading,

> Avie

>

>