Re: On the nature of binges....

[Guest guest]

Hi Constance - Mine was last night too - I must say though, I have forgiven

myself which is a positive step. I'm glad you stopped before it hurt x

 Vicky Roderick

________________________________

From: Constance <kcblj5@...>

weightloss

Sent: Fri, 16 April, 2010 11:50:15

Subject: Re: On the nature of binges....

 

Very insightful and helpful to me . You have a beautiful and tactful way of

writing. My last binge was last night. ( Positive note ) I stopped before it

hurt and I realized I was eating to hurt because I was/ am hurting emotionally.

Constance in Mich.

From: <lsageev (DOT) com>

Subject: [insideoutweightlos s] On the nature of binges....

" IOWL " <weightloss @groups. com>

Date: Friday, April 16, 2010, 5:01 AM

 

" honestly, these

binges just are not serving me anymore.  "

This comment really stuck with me, leaving me to reflect on the nature of

binges.

One of the things I know about my own binges--the physical pain is the *desired

result*. A binge is totally different from going out with friends and eating

more fries than I planned, or (gasp) eating a full serving of dessert. It's

different from mindless grazing, just because I'm not present.

A binge is stuffing more and more food down my throat until it HURTS. *Because*

it hurts! Any food. Rice cakes. Carrots. Something picked out of the garbage, if

I didn't coat it with dish soap first. And if it's a really, really bad binge,

I'll spray on windex, too. Because after all, dish soap is washed off the

dishes, and then we eat off them, so maybe I could wash it off....

Why do this??

Because the punishment is built in. Like it's a way to punish myself for the

thoughts I ALMOST thought consciously- -which I DIDN'T think consciously because

I started to eat instead. So... that's how it was serving me.

I don't do this to myself when I can obviously see what the problem is.

Yesterday, for example. It was the 4th day this week I was at the office--and

usually I work 80%, on site two days. I was tired, because for once I didn't go

to bed on time the night before. (Usually NOT something I do to myself.) We

had a Situation at work, involving a task usually covered by a co-worker who's

out of the country. I'm the only other one who can do it--but I'm not efficient

at it since it's not usually my responsibility. My husband--who has been away

for 2.5 weeks--called to tell me that his flight out of England was cancelled.

It became clear I need to work some weekend hours (at least I don't have to feel

bad about taking time away from dh!). Part of the Situation was not really my

fault--but something that maybe I could have forseen.

Not only did I not binge--I was less hungry than usual. When I did feel like

eating, I was getting very clear signals as to what I needed, as opposed to what

would taste good....

But again--I could see what the issues were, and I wasn't subconsciously trying

to block them.

I think this is why the conflict resolution download has done so much for me.

Because it goes deeper than I can go consciously- -even with the podcasts. I

can't guarantee it'll work that well for everyone. But for me it was a totally

worthwhile investment.

You probably noticed-- I'm not yet ready to say that my last binge--March 11,

btw--was THE last binge. I do know that I've felt swarming emotions since then,

and was able to stop myself. Sometimes by listening to a podcast, sometimes by

physically moving to a room far from the kitchen, sometimes by being present IN

the feeling. Sometimes as a last resort, I treat the symptoms and resort to

gum. And make sure that later I do something renewing....

I also don't know if I need to define it as The Last Binge. Or to declare it

will never happen again. Or wonder if it stopped. Instead, I'm going to shift to

reflecting on the way I felt over the last few weeks--energetic. Content with

where I am, even when things around me are less than optimal. Amazed at some of

the things I've accomplished when I shifted the power of that subconscious storm

into doing things in the present....

Thanks for letting me release this!

[Guest guest]

Good morning, Constance;

Sorry to hear you are hurting this morning. We are all sending you loving

kindness. I understand that it is so very hard for each and every one of us

to love ourselves, so we will just have to share that with each other until

we can learn to give it to ourselves.

Take care,

Wynn

On the nature of binges....

" IOWL " <weightloss >

Date: Friday, April 16, 2010, 5:01 AM

" honestly, these

binges just are not serving me anymore. "

This comment really stuck with me, leaving me to reflect on the nature of

binges.

One of the things I know about my own binges--the physical pain is the

*desired result*. A binge is totally different from going out with friends

and eating more fries than I planned, or (gasp) eating a full serving of

dessert. It's different from mindless grazing, just because I'm not present.

A binge is stuffing more and more food down my throat until it HURTS.

*Because* it hurts! Any food. Rice cakes. Carrots. Something picked out of

the garbage, if I didn't coat it with dish soap first. And if it's a really,

really bad binge, I'll spray on windex, too. Because after all, dish soap is

washed off the dishes, and then we eat off them, so maybe I could wash it

off....

Why do this??

Because the punishment is built in. Like it's a way to punish myself for the

thoughts I ALMOST thought consciously- -which I DIDN'T think consciously

because I started to eat instead. So... that's how it was serving me.

I don't do this to myself when I can obviously see what the problem is.

Yesterday, for example. It was the 4th day this week I was at the

office--and usually I work 80%, on site two days. I was tired, because for

once I didn't go to bed on time the night before. (Usually NOT something I

do to myself.) We had a Situation at work, involving a task usually covered

by a co-worker who's out of the country. I'm the only other one who can do

it--but I'm not efficient at it since it's not usually my responsibility. My

husband--who has been away for 2.5 weeks--called to tell me that his flight

out of England was cancelled. It became clear I need to work some weekend

hours (at least I don't have to feel bad about taking time away from dh!).

Part of the Situation was not really my fault--but something that maybe I

could have forseen.

Not only did I not binge--I was less hungry than usual. When I did feel like

eating, I was getting very clear signals as to what I needed, as opposed to

what would taste good....

But again--I could see what the issues were, and I wasn't subconsciously

trying to block them.

I think this is why the conflict resolution download has done so much for

me. Because it goes deeper than I can go consciously- -even with the

podcasts. I can't guarantee it'll work that well for everyone. But for me it

was a totally worthwhile investment.

You probably noticed-- I'm not yet ready to say that my last binge--March

11, btw--was THE last binge. I do know that I've felt swarming emotions

since then, and was able to stop myself. Sometimes by listening to a

podcast, sometimes by physically moving to a room far from the kitchen,

sometimes by being present IN the feeling. Sometimes as a last resort, I

treat the symptoms and resort to gum. And make sure that later I do

something renewing....

I also don't know if I need to define it as The Last Binge. Or to declare it

will never happen again. Or wonder if it stopped. Instead, I'm going to

shift to reflecting on the way I felt over the last few weeks--energetic.

Content with where I am, even when things around me are less than optimal.

Amazed at some of the things I've accomplished when I shifted the power of

that subconscious storm into doing things in the present....

Thanks for letting me release this!

[Guest guest]

Wow ... you should be writing your " reflecting " down into a book... I love

this!

 Reading this message has had me pondering all day and has been quite

revelationary for me!!

I definitely relate the the " eating til it hurts " and I'm so happy to say I

haven't done that for weeks (maybe months?)... however I haven't really

acknowledged this achievement to myself as I do still (and reasonably

frequently) eat " too much " as in more than I really needed, and to be verging on

over full.  I just hadn't really separated this from the bingeing episodes I

once had, and you are right... they are totally different.... mainly due to the

feelings attached to each one...

The " eating til it hurts " for me was characterised by guilt, shame, disgust,

regret, pain to name a few. whereas just " eating too much " is pretty much free

from any intense feelings other than a bit of " oops I ate too much and should

probably eat a bit less next time " and actually, is it really so bad to do that?

Thanks for sharing your reflections which have really put things into

perspective for me!!

x x x

From: <lsageev@...>

Subject: On the nature of binges....

" IOWL " <weightloss >

Date: Friday, April 16, 2010, 9:01 AM

 

" honestly, these

binges just are not serving me anymore.  "

This comment really stuck with me, leaving me to reflect on the nature of

binges.

One of the things I know about my own binges--the physical pain is the *desired

result*. A binge is totally different from going out with friends and eating

more fries than I planned, or (gasp) eating a full serving of dessert. It's

different from mindless grazing, just because I'm not present.

A binge is stuffing more and more food down my throat until it HURTS. *Because*

it hurts! Any food. Rice cakes. Carrots. Something picked out of the garbage, if

I didn't coat it with dish soap first. And if it's a really, really bad binge,

I'll spray on windex, too. Because after all, dish soap is washed off the

dishes, and then we eat off them, so maybe I could wash it off....

Why do this??

Because the punishment is built in. Like it's a way to punish myself for the

thoughts I ALMOST thought consciously- -which I DIDN'T think consciously because

I started to eat instead. So... that's how it was serving me.

I don't do this to myself when I can obviously see what the problem is.

Yesterday, for example. It was the 4th day this week I was at the office--and

usually I work 80%, on site two days. I was tired, because for once I didn't go

to bed on time the night before. (Usually NOT something I do to myself.) We

had a Situation at work, involving a task usually covered by a co-worker who's

out of the country. I'm the only other one who can do it--but I'm not efficient

at it since it's not usually my responsibility. My husband--who has been away

for 2.5 weeks--called to tell me that his flight out of England was cancelled.

It became clear I need to work some weekend hours (at least I don't have to feel

bad about taking time away from dh!). Part of the Situation was not really my

fault--but something that maybe I could have forseen.

Not only did I not binge--I was less hungry than usual. When I did feel like

eating, I was getting very clear signals as to what I needed, as opposed to what

would taste good....

But again--I could see what the issues were, and I wasn't subconsciously trying

to block them.

I think this is why the conflict resolution download has done so much for me.

Because it goes deeper than I can go consciously- -even with the podcasts. I

can't guarantee it'll work that well for everyone. But for me it was a totally

worthwhile investment.

You probably noticed-- I'm not yet ready to say that my last binge--March 11,

btw--was THE last binge. I do know that I've felt swarming emotions since then,

and was able to stop myself. Sometimes by listening to a podcast, sometimes by

physically moving to a room far from the kitchen, sometimes by being present IN

the feeling. Sometimes as a last resort, I treat the symptoms and resort to

gum. And make sure that later I do something renewing....

I also don't know if I need to define it as The Last Binge. Or to declare it

will never happen again. Or wonder if it stopped. Instead, I'm going to shift to

reflecting on the way I felt over the last few weeks--energetic. Content with

where I am, even when things around me are less than optimal. Amazed at some of

the things I've accomplished when I shifted the power of that subconscious storm

into doing things in the present....

Thanks for letting me release this!

[Guest guest]

In the latest issue of Nature Neuroscience, a scientific journal, researchers

found that rats on a " junk food diet " quickly had a diminished neuronal reward

system. That means the rats needed to eat more to achieve the same good feeling.

They linked it to dopamine D2 receptor, the same molecule that's also associated

with addiction to heroine and cocaine.

Even when the rats were given electroshocks to their feet when they ate junk

food (instead of what they called the 'salad bar option'), they still ate the

fatty food. Sounds familiar? For me, that hit a little too close to home!

Well, the good news is that we are NOT rats. We can make conscious decisions.

And it also lends support to the advice to stick to natural, whole foods. They

will make it easier. After a while, the regulation of the Dopamine receptor is

going to go back to normal, in absence of the stimuli.

On this note, continued success on our weight loss journey!

Nixe

[Guest guest]

wow nixe... a bit scary. Ice cream and chocolate are so much more fun than any

salad bar option but in the end it's the fruits and veggies which make me feel

good over time.

Some days though you only want to go to the dessert bar... you know?

 

> In the latest issue of Nature Neuroscience, a scientific journal, 

> researchers found that rats on a " junk food diet " quickly had a 

> diminished neuronal reward system. That means the rats needed to eat 

> more to achieve the same good feeling. They linked it to dopamine D2 

> receptor, the same molecule that's also associated with addiction to 

> heroine and cocaine.

>

> Even when the rats were given electroshocks to their feet when they 

> ate junk food (instead of what they called the 'salad bar option'), 

> they still ate the fatty food. Sounds familiar? For me, that hit a 

> little too close to home!

>

> Well, the good news is that we are NOT rats. We can make conscious 

> decisions. And it also lends support to the advice to stick to 

> natural, whole foods. They will make it easier. After a while, the 

> regulation of the Dopamine receptor is going to go back to normal, 

> in absence of the stimuli.

>

> On this note, continued success on our weight loss journey!

>

> Nixe

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

wow nixe... a bit scary. Ice cream and chocolate are so much more fun than any

salad bar option but in the end it's the fruits and veggies which make me feel

good over time.

Some days though you only want to go to the dessert bar... you know?

 

> In the latest issue of Nature Neuroscience, a scientific journal, 

> researchers found that rats on a " junk food diet " quickly had a 

> diminished neuronal reward system. That means the rats needed to eat 

> more to achieve the same good feeling. They linked it to dopamine D2 

> receptor, the same molecule that's also associated with addiction to 

> heroine and cocaine.

>

> Even when the rats were given electroshocks to their feet when they 

> ate junk food (instead of what they called the 'salad bar option'), 

> they still ate the fatty food. Sounds familiar? For me, that hit a 

> little too close to home!

>

> Well, the good news is that we are NOT rats. We can make conscious 

> decisions. And it also lends support to the advice to stick to 

> natural, whole foods. They will make it easier. After a while, the 

> regulation of the Dopamine receptor is going to go back to normal, 

> in absence of the stimuli.

>

> On this note, continued success on our weight loss journey!

>

> Nixe

>

>

>