Re: In the middle of a weeklong binge

[Guest guest]

same!! eating a lot!! counting calories > bingeing. now, the key would be to

stop and self-correct, but i am much more interested in eating.

grateful for knowing about IOWL.

On Thu, Jul 1, 2010 at 4:19 PM, Patti L <pattilbear@...> wrote:

>

>

> I can't stop eating!!

>

> We are going through some family " drama " . I won't go into details, but our

> 20something nephew did something that will put strain on my husband and his

> brother. We think the brother and his wife should have stepped up and taken

> responsibility for the actions of their son. Now we are stuck with having to

> fix the situation.

>

> Neither my husband nor I are very good at conflict. We also don't do well

> in the " big decisions " area. We have both ahead of us. So, he is shutting

> down and I am eating.

>

> And it's really bad timing. Today is my husband's birthday. We are supposed

> to be planning to be social with his family. Now we are dreading a showdown.

>

> Add to that a hormone fueled depression and a hormone fueled headache.

> Throw in some work stress and you have a Class A Number One binge.....

> actually it's constant grazing.

>

> I know I'm looking for someway to feel better about all the stuff going on.

> I know there is a positive intent and all that. I just don't know what to do

> instead. For 48 years, food has been my way of dealing. No one has ever

> taught me what to do instead. In every " compulsive overeating " book,

> podcast, lecture, etc., they say " you need to find another way to deal " . But

> I don't know how!!!! " take a long bath " , " exercise " , " talk to a friend " .

> None of that works!

>

> ok... I'm rambling. but you get the gist. I'm kind of a mess.

>

> Patti

>

>

>

--

Avie Linden

University of Michigan - Anthropology

Program in the Environment, History of Art

248.535.0521

[Guest guest]

same!! eating a lot!! counting calories > bingeing. now, the key would be to

stop and self-correct, but i am much more interested in eating.

grateful for knowing about IOWL.

On Thu, Jul 1, 2010 at 4:19 PM, Patti L <pattilbear@...> wrote:

>

>

> I can't stop eating!!

>

> We are going through some family " drama " . I won't go into details, but our

> 20something nephew did something that will put strain on my husband and his

> brother. We think the brother and his wife should have stepped up and taken

> responsibility for the actions of their son. Now we are stuck with having to

> fix the situation.

>

> Neither my husband nor I are very good at conflict. We also don't do well

> in the " big decisions " area. We have both ahead of us. So, he is shutting

> down and I am eating.

>

> And it's really bad timing. Today is my husband's birthday. We are supposed

> to be planning to be social with his family. Now we are dreading a showdown.

>

> Add to that a hormone fueled depression and a hormone fueled headache.

> Throw in some work stress and you have a Class A Number One binge.....

> actually it's constant grazing.

>

> I know I'm looking for someway to feel better about all the stuff going on.

> I know there is a positive intent and all that. I just don't know what to do

> instead. For 48 years, food has been my way of dealing. No one has ever

> taught me what to do instead. In every " compulsive overeating " book,

> podcast, lecture, etc., they say " you need to find another way to deal " . But

> I don't know how!!!! " take a long bath " , " exercise " , " talk to a friend " .

> None of that works!

>

> ok... I'm rambling. but you get the gist. I'm kind of a mess.

>

> Patti

>

>

>

--

Avie Linden

University of Michigan - Anthropology

Program in the Environment, History of Art

248.535.0521

[Guest guest]

I know what you mean! I'm doing the same thing... counting calories and then

overeating anyway. Oh well. at least I know how many calories over I am....

 

Eating is sooooo much fun!!! And if you are not in the mode to self-correct it's

just not easy. Are you still travelling around Europe? It's so hard when you're

travelling and out of your routine. Maybe you should cut yourself some slack and

just enjoy your trip and enjoy all the new foods you are trying out?

 

Thanks for keeping in touch!

>

>

> I can't stop eating!!

>

> We are going through some family " drama " . I won't go into details, but our

> 20something nephew did something that will put strain on my husband and his

> brother. We think the brother and his wife should have stepped up and taken

> responsibility for the actions of their son. Now we are stuck with having to

> fix the situation.

>

> Neither my husband nor I are very good at conflict. We also don't do well

> in the " big decisions " area. We have both ahead of us. So, he is shutting

> down and I am eating.

>

> And it's really bad timing. Today is my husband's birthday. We are supposed

> to be planning to be social with his family. Now we are dreading a showdown.

>

> Add to that a hormone fueled depression and a hormone fueled headache.

> Throw in some work stress and you have a Class A Number One binge.....

> actually it's constant grazing.

>

> I know I'm looking for someway to feel better about all the stuff going on.

> I know there is a positive intent and all that. I just don't know what to do

> instead. For 48 years, food has been my way of dealing. No one has ever

> taught me what to do instead. In every " compulsive overeating " book,

> podcast, lecture, etc., they say " you need to find another way to deal " . But

> I don't know how!!!! " take a long bath " , " exercise " , " talk to a friend " .

> None of that works!

>

> ok... I'm rambling. but you get the gist. I'm kind of a mess.

>

> Patti

>

> 

>

--

Avie Linden

University of Michigan - Anthropology

Program in the Environment, History of Art

248.535.0521

[Guest guest]

I know what you mean! I'm doing the same thing... counting calories and then

overeating anyway. Oh well. at least I know how many calories over I am....

 

Eating is sooooo much fun!!! And if you are not in the mode to self-correct it's

just not easy. Are you still travelling around Europe? It's so hard when you're

travelling and out of your routine. Maybe you should cut yourself some slack and

just enjoy your trip and enjoy all the new foods you are trying out?

 

Thanks for keeping in touch!

>

>

> I can't stop eating!!

>

> We are going through some family " drama " . I won't go into details, but our

> 20something nephew did something that will put strain on my husband and his

> brother. We think the brother and his wife should have stepped up and taken

> responsibility for the actions of their son. Now we are stuck with having to

> fix the situation.

>

> Neither my husband nor I are very good at conflict. We also don't do well

> in the " big decisions " area. We have both ahead of us. So, he is shutting

> down and I am eating.

>

> And it's really bad timing. Today is my husband's birthday. We are supposed

> to be planning to be social with his family. Now we are dreading a showdown.

>

> Add to that a hormone fueled depression and a hormone fueled headache.

> Throw in some work stress and you have a Class A Number One binge.....

> actually it's constant grazing.

>

> I know I'm looking for someway to feel better about all the stuff going on.

> I know there is a positive intent and all that. I just don't know what to do

> instead. For 48 years, food has been my way of dealing. No one has ever

> taught me what to do instead. In every " compulsive overeating " book,

> podcast, lecture, etc., they say " you need to find another way to deal " . But

> I don't know how!!!! " take a long bath " , " exercise " , " talk to a friend " .

> None of that works!

>

> ok... I'm rambling. but you get the gist. I'm kind of a mess.

>

> Patti

>

> 

>

--

Avie Linden

University of Michigan - Anthropology

Program in the Environment, History of Art

248.535.0521

[Guest guest]

Patti I really feel for you. I'm so sorry that you are going through a bad time.

 

Maybe you can try a bit of everything... EFT tapping or even FEELING the pain or

breathing in.... and out..... Also, try doing a redo. That usually helps me a

bit.

Since you are going through a truly stressful situation think about what you'd

do next time to handle the stress instead of eating. Also, maybe you could

concentrate on the GOOD things that you do for yourself. Did you eat a big salad

for lunch?

Good! Eat a good breakfast? Super! Did you get in a walk after dinner? Smiley

face! Or maybe you did some sit ups while watching your favourite program?  By

concentrating on positive aspects you might start feeling better and may be

encouraged to take even better care of yourself. Even one or two changes can

improve your self image.

 

I hope that you get things worked out soon Patti!

 

Hugs....

From: Patti L <pattilbear@...>

Subject: In the middle of a weeklong binge

weightloss

Date: Thursday, July 1, 2010, 9:19 PM

 

I can't stop eating!!

We are going through some family " drama " . I won't go into details, but our

20something nephew did something that will put strain on my husband and his

brother. We think the brother and his wife should have stepped up and taken

responsibility for the actions of their son. Now we are stuck with having to fix

the situation.

Neither my husband nor I are very good at conflict. We also don't do well in the

" big decisions " area. We have both ahead of us. So, he is shutting down and I am

eating.

And it's really bad timing. Today is my husband's birthday. We are supposed to

be planning to be social with his family. Now we are dreading a showdown.

Add to that a hormone fueled depression and a hormone fueled headache. Throw in

some work stress and you have a Class A Number One binge..... actually it's

constant grazing.

I know I'm looking for someway to feel better about all the stuff going on. I

know there is a positive intent and all that. I just don't know what to do

instead. For 48 years, food has been my way of dealing. No one has ever taught

me what to do instead. In every " compulsive overeating " book, podcast, lecture,

etc., they say " you need to find another way to deal " . But I don't know how!!!!

" take a long bath " , " exercise " , " talk to a friend " . None of that works!

ok... I'm rambling. but you get the gist. I'm kind of a mess.

Patti

[Guest guest]

hello everyone! after two binges yesterday,i am happy to be

self-correcting. so grateful for so much in my life. today, i cried, hard

and long... probably over more than i will ever know. it felt great. i am

ready to let go of this struggle, just not sure exactly how. i know IOWL has

some of the answers (all of them?), but Im not sure how ... maybe it just

takes patience.

today i listened to the episode on portion control ... starts off by

taking us away from our busy lives and into a field... walking through

grass, etc. i happened to have been doing exactly that at that moment and

am so grateful for the synchronicity.

today, i ate breakfast without counting calories. thats progress.

love to you, ALL

On Fri, Jul 2, 2010 at 7:48 PM, e v <evergos@...> wrote:

>

>

> Patti I really feel for you. I'm so sorry that you are going through a bad

> time.

>

> Maybe you can try a bit of everything... EFT tapping or even FEELING the

> pain or breathing in.... and out..... Also, try doing a redo. That usually

> helps me a bit.

> Since you are going through a truly stressful situation think about what

> you'd do next time to handle the stress instead of eating. Also, maybe you

> could concentrate on the GOOD things that you do for yourself. Did you eat a

> big salad for lunch?

> Good! Eat a good breakfast? Super! Did you get in a walk after dinner?

> Smiley face! Or maybe you did some sit ups while watching your favourite

> program? By concentrating on positive aspects you might start feeling

> better and may be encouraged to take even better care of yourself. Even one

> or two changes can improve your self image.

>

> I hope that you get things worked out soon Patti!

>

> Hugs....

>

>

> From: Patti L <pattilbear@... <pattilbear%40gmail.com>>

> Subject: In the middle of a weeklong binge

> weightloss <weightloss%40>

> Date: Thursday, July 1, 2010, 9:19 PM

>

>

>

>

> I can't stop eating!!

>

> We are going through some family " drama " . I won't go into details, but our

> 20something nephew did something that will put strain on my husband and his

> brother. We think the brother and his wife should have stepped up and taken

> responsibility for the actions of their son. Now we are stuck with having to

> fix the situation.

>

> Neither my husband nor I are very good at conflict. We also don't do well

> in the " big decisions " area. We have both ahead of us. So, he is shutting

> down and I am eating.

>

> And it's really bad timing. Today is my husband's birthday. We are supposed

> to be planning to be social with his family. Now we are dreading a showdown.

>

> Add to that a hormone fueled depression and a hormone fueled headache.

> Throw in some work stress and you have a Class A Number One binge.....

> actually it's constant grazing.

>

> I know I'm looking for someway to feel better about all the stuff going on.

> I know there is a positive intent and all that. I just don't know what to do

> instead. For 48 years, food has been my way of dealing. No one has ever

> taught me what to do instead. In every " compulsive overeating " book,

> podcast, lecture, etc., they say " you need to find another way to deal " . But

> I don't know how!!!! " take a long bath " , " exercise " , " talk to a friend " .

> None of that works!

>

> ok... I'm rambling. but you get the gist. I'm kind of a mess.

>

> Patti

>

>

[Guest guest]

I wish I could cry and feel better. I used to be able to, but not so much

anymore.

But I do feel better. We had our " showdown " with the in-laws. They got a

little defensive. We outlined our stance and then we all started working on

a solution. I was kinda proud of myself. I was able to break the situation

down into a workable plan. We were all less overwhelmed. Once I pointed

out the easy steps we could take, we all felt better.

And my hormones are back in balance, so the depression is lifting and I am

really starting to feeling good about myself.

You know when we beat ourselves up over the way we eat? If a friend came to

me and said " wow! I really blew it last night. I can't believe how much I

ate! " Would I yell at her? Tell her she's a failure because she overate?

Would keep harping on the bad situation and say things like " You have to

stop eating! All you need is willpower! You need self-control! I'm not

going to be your friend if you don't stop eating! "

No. I would have sympathy and listen to her and try to understand her.

Maybe even give her a hug. I wouldn't think less of her or " hate " her

because she overate.

So, how come we treat ourselves badly when we overeat? Shouldn't we, at

least, be as nice to ourselves as we are to our friends? Aren't we as

important as our friends? Shouldn't we be as compassionate to ourselves?

Just a thought.

Patti

On Fri, Jul 2, 2010 at 12:48 PM, onewhorled <onewhorled@...> wrote:

> hello everyone! after two binges yesterday,i am happy to be

> self-correcting. so grateful for so much in my life. today, i cried, hard

> and long... probably over more than i will ever know. it felt great. i am

> ready to let go of this struggle, just not sure exactly how. i know IOWL

> has

> some of the answers (all of them?), but Im not sure how ... maybe it just

> takes patience.

>

> today i listened to the episode on portion control ... starts off by

> taking us away from our busy lives and into a field... walking through

> grass, etc. i happened to have been doing exactly that at that moment and

> am so grateful for the synchronicity.

>

> today, i ate breakfast without counting calories. thats progress.

>

> love to you, ALL

>

>

>

> On Fri, Jul 2, 2010 at 7:48 PM, e v <evergos@...> wrote:

>

> >

> >

> > Patti I really feel for you. I'm so sorry that you are going through a

> bad

> > time.

> >

> > Maybe you can try a bit of everything... EFT tapping or even FEELING the

> > pain or breathing in.... and out..... Also, try doing a redo. That

> usually

> > helps me a bit.

> > Since you are going through a truly stressful situation think about what

> > you'd do next time to handle the stress instead of eating. Also, maybe

> you

> > could concentrate on the GOOD things that you do for yourself. Did you

> eat a

> > big salad for lunch?

> > Good! Eat a good breakfast? Super! Did you get in a walk after dinner?

> > Smiley face! Or maybe you did some sit ups while watching your favourite

> > program? By concentrating on positive aspects you might start feeling

> > better and may be encouraged to take even better care of yourself. Even

> one

> > or two changes can improve your self image.

> >

> > I hope that you get things worked out soon Patti!

> >

> > Hugs....

> >

> >

> > From: Patti L <pattilbear@... <pattilbear%40gmail.com>>

> > Subject: In the middle of a weeklong binge

> > weightloss <weightloss%

> 40>

> > Date: Thursday, July 1, 2010, 9:19 PM

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > I can't stop eating!!

> >

> > We are going through some family " drama " . I won't go into details, but

> our

> > 20something nephew did something that will put strain on my husband and

> his

> > brother. We think the brother and his wife should have stepped up and

> taken

> > responsibility for the actions of their son. Now we are stuck with having

> to

> > fix the situation.

> >

> > Neither my husband nor I are very good at conflict. We also don't do well

> > in the " big decisions " area. We have both ahead of us. So, he is shutting

> > down and I am eating.

> >

> > And it's really bad timing. Today is my husband's birthday. We are

> supposed

> > to be planning to be social with his family. Now we are dreading a

> showdown.

> >

> > Add to that a hormone fueled depression and a hormone fueled headache.

> > Throw in some work stress and you have a Class A Number One binge.....

> > actually it's constant grazing.

> >

> > I know I'm looking for someway to feel better about all the stuff going

> on.

> > I know there is a positive intent and all that. I just don't know what to

> do

> > instead. For 48 years, food has been my way of dealing. No one has ever

> > taught me what to do instead. In every " compulsive overeating " book,

> > podcast, lecture, etc., they say " you need to find another way to deal " .

> But

> > I don't know how!!!! " take a long bath " , " exercise " , " talk to a friend " .

> > None of that works!

> >

> > ok... I'm rambling. but you get the gist. I'm kind of a mess.

> >

> > Patti

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Hi Patti,

Isn't it amazing how the situation can change when you're focused on the

solution--the easy steps you can take--instead of the problem??

" What do I want instead? "

This simple question has helped me through sooooo much in the last 10 months. So

glad you were able to find what you wanted instead... and help everyone else

feel better, too.

________________________________

But I do feel better. We had our " showdown " with the in-laws. They got a

little defensive. We outlined our stance and then we all started working on

a solution. I was kinda proud of myself. I was able to break the situation

down into a workable plan. We were all less overwhelmed. Once I pointed

out the easy steps we could take, we all felt better.