Needing the collective right now

[Guest guest]

Ok, I desperately need you guys now. I've been doing well, doing badly, doing

well, doing badly... in an everlasting cycle for so long now. I can't seem to

break free, and I don't know where to go from here. I've listened to each single

episode of IOWL several times over and love them all, but I'm not getting to the

bottom with my self-acceptance and my limiting beliefs, which is clear simply

from the fact that I still have so many food problems.

I actually eat quite little during the day. No problems with food there. And I

love to exercise, so that's no issue either. But in the evening, I feel the need

to treat myself, and I love relaxing with tv and chocolate. Even if I'm with

friends and having a great time, I'm horrified to discover a secret longing to

get back home to my own privacy where I can " enjoy " this bingeing by myself. I

don't know why I can't truly let go and enjoy being with friends instead- so

much more rewarding, really!- but something's stopping me.

Is this making any sense? Basically, I'm desperate. For any tips you can give me

on how to move on, discover what's really the root of all this and how to begin

to deal with it. I have listened to the episodes, and it did work for me

initially, but there must be some block I just haven't got past yet, and I don't

know what it is or how to get at it. So ANY advice/help/ideas would be so very

appreciated right now!

Love,

Madie

[Guest guest]

Hi Madie,

Two things jump out at me.

One--isn't this exam week? Even if I'm off, and you've finished--there's the

stress of waiting for results, and the stress of transitioning to the next

stage.

Two--when you say you actually eat quite little during the day, are you eating

*enough*? Are you ignoring true hunger during the day, to the point where

emotional hunger and physical hunger can join forces at night to overcome the

part of you that wants to be naturally slender?

OK, a third point is now pushing forward.... You have already made a lot of

progress. You have already identified limiting beliefs, and released blocks. But

people are complex. You may have one more block to release, and you may have a

landslide of blocks across your path. You may have an iceberg of a block...

whose tip is easy to remove, but leaves a whole lot more that occasionally works

its way to the surface, so you have to go back and remove it again.

As long as you stick with the journey, you will continue along the path to

creating the life you want.

Sometimes you'll need to sit and rest a while, considering which block to move.

Sometimes you'll get to a part of the path with no blocks whatsoever. Find

something to enjoy in both parts of the journey....

I'm guessing that by identifying these blocks now, at your age, you will find

later stages to be easier. Not that you won't meet new blocks as you enter

different stages of life--but you will have the tools (and the practice) that

you need to clear the blocks as you find them, instead of letting them build up.

What tools, you say? For the really deep blocks, I find that the guided conflict

resolution journey is the best. For limiting beliefs, re-framing the belief

statement to something empowering--with or without EFT. For just generally

making it through the day, setting my intention. Specifically--for how I want to

feel, not for what I want to accomplish. Some days I just want to put the iPod

on shuffle and listen to podcasts. Sometimes I'm aware that I want to do a

specific guided journey from one of the podcasts.

The other day, I could feel a conflict brewing inside. I actually consciously

knew a couple issues that could be causing it, but knowing that wasn't enough to

resolve the conflict. But for some reason, I didn't want to use the conflict

resolution journey. It felt too strong, somehow. So I did the guided journey in

podcast 4 instead. It was really interesting. Every other time I've done this or

the full conflict resolution download, I've felt--very clearly--one place that

was the source of the " gift " . This time, I felt two. One in my chest, over my

heart. I have learned that this area always means family for me. The other area

was my belly--where I feel work issues. I couldn't decide which was stronger. I

didn't know which one to put my hand on. So it was very clear--I had to use both

hands. As I moved my hands out before me, I got such a clear image of the two

sides of a scale. The caption was definitely Balance.

If you had asked me before what was bothering me, I probably could have

consciously told you the same thing. But there was something very powerful about

the image--watching my hands move from different places on my body, coming up to

be level with each other. It made me feel more peaceful than just labeling the

problem--because I saw the result--the scale was balanced. That means *I* can be

in balance.

How to get there? Well, I knew that specifically analyzing, listing,

categorizing, labeling the issues I was facing on both the home and work

front... well, that just wasn't doing it. Having all the parts isn't the same as

putting them together properly. Hmmm. Putting together. Integrating. Bingo. Time

for the guided journey to integration (33). A few months ago, my images for

higher levels--identity, soul, spirit--were very clear. But somehow, I hadn't

really thought of them for a while. Time for a reminder?

Evidently this was the right tool. I've been feeling much calmer again. More

integrated.

More... rambly??? Sorry, Madie!

To make a short story long... you have the tools. You can learn how and when to

use them to best effect. You can put them aside for a while, and take them out

again when needed. If a tool doesn't work, it is feedback, not failure.

You can do this.

________________________________

From: madiemania <madiemania@...>

weightloss

Sent: Mon, May 31, 2010 1:29:05 AM

Subject: Needing the collective right now

Ok, I desperately need you guys now. I've been doing well, doing badly, doing

well, doing badly... in an everlasting cycle for so long now. I can't seem to

break free, and I don't know where to go from here. I've listened to each single

episode of IOWL several times over and love them all, but I'm not getting to the

bottom with my self-acceptance and my limiting beliefs, which is clear simply

from the fact that I still have so many food problems.

I actually eat quite little during the day. No problems with food there. And I

love to exercise, so that's no issue either. But in the evening, I feel the need

to treat myself, and I love relaxing with tv and chocolate. Even if I'm with

friends and having a great time, I'm horrified to discover a secret longing to

get back home to my own privacy where I can " enjoy " this bingeing by myself. I

don't know why I can't truly let go and enjoy being with friends instead- so

much more rewarding, really!- but something's stopping me.

Is this making any sense? Basically, I'm desperate. For any tips you can give me

on how to move on, discover what's really the root of all this and how to begin

to deal with it. I have listened to the episodes, and it did work for me

initially, but there must be some block I just haven't got past yet, and I don't

know what it is or how to get at it. So ANY advice/help/ideas would be so very

appreciated right now!

Love,

Madie

[Guest guest]

Hey Madie,

Thanks so much for sharing your story. I can definitely relate and just hearing

you share that made me feel less alone. Feeling alone sucks and it is a big

trigger for me. Feeling alone and scared of failing (with weight loss, school -

I'm in grad school, etc.).

One thing that really helps me deal with pain is not just to " ride the pain " out

because that implies that you are trying to control and get rid of the pain. I

have found that sometimes giving in to experiencing the pain, truly experiencing

it for what it physically feels like, for the sake of learning but also just

because life is painful sometimes. I think talks about in it a recent

episode about mindfulness. One of the best ways to not let pain influence your

behavior is to just " get with it. "

I also struggle a lot with night time eating and have been coming here more

often to post and I find that to be really really helpful. Especially because I

don't share my story with that many people in my life.

I'm definitely willing to continue to come here often and try to support you as

much as possible with what has and has not worked for me! Just remember, you

aren't alone! And your sharing helped me tonight, I kinda felt like overeating

but now I don't after reading it, so thank you.

> >

> > I can identify with some of the things you are going through.  I also love

to exercise daily, and eat according to hunger and stopping when full throughout

the day.  I make great choices during the day.  But at night sometimes I want

a reward or a treat.  I also feel the same way as you do when with friends.  I

like to get home to some privacy and eat too. Is it from relief that I am home?

> > Let me know when you get some answers.  I too need a breakthrough that

lasts.  I will have days that I do as I intend to and not eat at night...but

other nights even when I intend to be satisfied I find my hand reaching for

something else.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ________________________________

> > From: madiemania <madiemania@>

> > weightloss

> > Sent: Sun, May 30, 2010 5:29:05 PM

> > Subject: Needing the collective right now

> >

> >  

> > Ok, I desperately need you guys now. I've been doing well, doing badly,

doing well, doing badly... in an everlasting cycle for so long now. I can't seem

to break free, and I don't know where to go from here. I've listened to each

single episode of IOWL several times over and love them all, but I'm not getting

to the bottom with my self-acceptance and my limiting beliefs, which is clear

simply from the fact that I still have so many food problems.

> >

> > I actually eat quite little during the day. No problems with food there. And

I love to exercise, so that's no issue either. But in the evening, I feel the

need to treat myself, and I love relaxing with tv and chocolate. Even if I'm

with friends and having a great time, I'm horrified to discover a secret longing

to get back home to my own privacy where I can " enjoy " this bingeing by myself.

I don't know why I can't truly let go and enjoy being with friends instead- so

much more rewarding, really!- but something's stopping me.

> >

> > Is this making any sense? Basically, I'm desperate. For any tips you can

give me on how to move on, discover what's really the root of all this and how

to begin to deal with it. I have listened to the episodes, and it did work for

me initially, but there must be some block I just haven't got past yet, and I

don't know what it is or how to get at it. So ANY advice/help/ideas would be so

very appreciated right now!

> >

> > Love,

> >

> > Madie

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Hey Madie,

Thanks so much for sharing your story. I can definitely relate and just hearing

you share that made me feel less alone. Feeling alone sucks and it is a big

trigger for me. Feeling alone and scared of failing (with weight loss, school -

I'm in grad school, etc.).

One thing that really helps me deal with pain is not just to " ride the pain " out

because that implies that you are trying to control and get rid of the pain. I

have found that sometimes giving in to experiencing the pain, truly experiencing

it for what it physically feels like, for the sake of learning but also just

because life is painful sometimes. I think talks about in it a recent

episode about mindfulness. One of the best ways to not let pain influence your

behavior is to just " get with it. "

I also struggle a lot with night time eating and have been coming here more

often to post and I find that to be really really helpful. Especially because I

don't share my story with that many people in my life.

I'm definitely willing to continue to come here often and try to support you as

much as possible with what has and has not worked for me! Just remember, you

aren't alone! And your sharing helped me tonight, I kinda felt like overeating

but now I don't after reading it, so thank you.

> >

> > I can identify with some of the things you are going through.  I also love

to exercise daily, and eat according to hunger and stopping when full throughout

the day.  I make great choices during the day.  But at night sometimes I want

a reward or a treat.  I also feel the same way as you do when with friends.  I

like to get home to some privacy and eat too. Is it from relief that I am home?

> > Let me know when you get some answers.  I too need a breakthrough that

lasts.  I will have days that I do as I intend to and not eat at night...but

other nights even when I intend to be satisfied I find my hand reaching for

something else.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ________________________________

> > From: madiemania <madiemania@>

> > weightloss

> > Sent: Sun, May 30, 2010 5:29:05 PM

> > Subject: Needing the collective right now

> >

> >  

> > Ok, I desperately need you guys now. I've been doing well, doing badly,

doing well, doing badly... in an everlasting cycle for so long now. I can't seem

to break free, and I don't know where to go from here. I've listened to each

single episode of IOWL several times over and love them all, but I'm not getting

to the bottom with my self-acceptance and my limiting beliefs, which is clear

simply from the fact that I still have so many food problems.

> >

> > I actually eat quite little during the day. No problems with food there. And

I love to exercise, so that's no issue either. But in the evening, I feel the

need to treat myself, and I love relaxing with tv and chocolate. Even if I'm

with friends and having a great time, I'm horrified to discover a secret longing

to get back home to my own privacy where I can " enjoy " this bingeing by myself.

I don't know why I can't truly let go and enjoy being with friends instead- so

much more rewarding, really!- but something's stopping me.

> >

> > Is this making any sense? Basically, I'm desperate. For any tips you can

give me on how to move on, discover what's really the root of all this and how

to begin to deal with it. I have listened to the episodes, and it did work for

me initially, but there must be some block I just haven't got past yet, and I

don't know what it is or how to get at it. So ANY advice/help/ideas would be so

very appreciated right now!

> >

> > Love,

> >

> > Madie

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

and Maddie I also feel like that. Sometimes I feel like eating for

entertainment or comfort and then I'll come on here and read some comment or

story and it will motivate me and i'll completely lose interest in food.

 

Maybe we should just come on here every evening when we are most likely to start

raiding the fridge and post and read. Maybe that would be a big help??

 

From: iowliowl <iowliowl@...>

Subject: Re: Needing the collective right now

weightloss

Date: Wednesday, June 2, 2010, 7:17 AM

 

Hey Madie,

Thanks so much for sharing your story. I can definitely relate and just hearing

you share that made me feel less alone. Feeling alone sucks and it is a big

trigger for me. Feeling alone and scared of failing (with weight loss, school -

I'm in grad school, etc.).

One thing that really helps me deal with pain is not just to " ride the pain " out

because that implies that you are trying to control and get rid of the pain. I

have found that sometimes giving in to experiencing the pain, truly experiencing

it for what it physically feels like, for the sake of learning but also just

because life is painful sometimes. I think talks about in it a recent

episode about mindfulness. One of the best ways to not let pain influence your

behavior is to just " get with it. "

I also struggle a lot with night time eating and have been coming here more

often to post and I find that to be really really helpful. Especially because I

don't share my story with that many people in my life.

I'm definitely willing to continue to come here often and try to support you as

much as possible with what has and has not worked for me! Just remember, you

aren't alone! And your sharing helped me tonight, I kinda felt like overeating

but now I don't after reading it, so thank you.

> >

> > I can identify with some of the things you are going through.  I also

love to exercise daily, and eat according to hunger and stopping when full

throughout the day.  I make great choices during the day.  But at night

sometimes I want a reward or a treat.  I also feel the same way as you do

when with friends.  I like to get home to some privacy and eat too. Is it

from relief that I am home?

> > Let me know when you get some answers.  I too need a breakthrough that

lasts.  I will have days that I do as I intend to and not eat at night...but

other nights even when I intend to be satisfied I find my hand reaching for

something else.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ________________________________

> > From: madiemania <madiemania@>

> > weightloss

> > Sent: Sun, May 30, 2010 5:29:05 PM

> > Subject: Needing the collective right now

> >

> >  

> > Ok, I desperately need you guys now. I've been doing well, doing badly,

doing well, doing badly... in an everlasting cycle for so long now. I can't seem

to break free, and I don't know where to go from here. I've listened to each

single episode of IOWL several times over and love them all, but I'm not getting

to the bottom with my self-acceptance and my limiting beliefs, which is clear

simply from the fact that I still have so many food problems.

> >

> > I actually eat quite little during the day. No problems with food there. And

I love to exercise, so that's no issue either. But in the evening, I feel the

need to treat myself, and I love relaxing with tv and chocolate. Even if I'm

with friends and having a great time, I'm horrified to discover a secret longing

to get back home to my own privacy where I can " enjoy " this bingeing by myself.

I don't know why I can't truly let go and enjoy being with friends instead- so

much more rewarding, really!- but something's stopping me.

> >

> > Is this making any sense? Basically, I'm desperate. For any tips you can

give me on how to move on, discover what's really the root of all this and how

to begin to deal with it. I have listened to the episodes, and it did work for

me initially, but there must be some block I just haven't got past yet, and I

don't know what it is or how to get at it. So ANY advice/help/ideas would be so

very appreciated right now!

> >

> > Love,

> >

> > Madie

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

and Maddie I also feel like that. Sometimes I feel like eating for

entertainment or comfort and then I'll come on here and read some comment or

story and it will motivate me and i'll completely lose interest in food.

 

Maybe we should just come on here every evening when we are most likely to start

raiding the fridge and post and read. Maybe that would be a big help??

 

From: iowliowl <iowliowl@...>

Subject: Re: Needing the collective right now

weightloss

Date: Wednesday, June 2, 2010, 7:17 AM

 

Hey Madie,

Thanks so much for sharing your story. I can definitely relate and just hearing

you share that made me feel less alone. Feeling alone sucks and it is a big

trigger for me. Feeling alone and scared of failing (with weight loss, school -

I'm in grad school, etc.).

One thing that really helps me deal with pain is not just to " ride the pain " out

because that implies that you are trying to control and get rid of the pain. I

have found that sometimes giving in to experiencing the pain, truly experiencing

it for what it physically feels like, for the sake of learning but also just

because life is painful sometimes. I think talks about in it a recent

episode about mindfulness. One of the best ways to not let pain influence your

behavior is to just " get with it. "

I also struggle a lot with night time eating and have been coming here more

often to post and I find that to be really really helpful. Especially because I

don't share my story with that many people in my life.

I'm definitely willing to continue to come here often and try to support you as

much as possible with what has and has not worked for me! Just remember, you

aren't alone! And your sharing helped me tonight, I kinda felt like overeating

but now I don't after reading it, so thank you.

> >

> > I can identify with some of the things you are going through.  I also

love to exercise daily, and eat according to hunger and stopping when full

throughout the day.  I make great choices during the day.  But at night

sometimes I want a reward or a treat.  I also feel the same way as you do

when with friends.  I like to get home to some privacy and eat too. Is it

from relief that I am home?

> > Let me know when you get some answers.  I too need a breakthrough that

lasts.  I will have days that I do as I intend to and not eat at night...but

other nights even when I intend to be satisfied I find my hand reaching for

something else.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ________________________________

> > From: madiemania <madiemania@>

> > weightloss

> > Sent: Sun, May 30, 2010 5:29:05 PM

> > Subject: Needing the collective right now

> >

> >  

> > Ok, I desperately need you guys now. I've been doing well, doing badly,

doing well, doing badly... in an everlasting cycle for so long now. I can't seem

to break free, and I don't know where to go from here. I've listened to each

single episode of IOWL several times over and love them all, but I'm not getting

to the bottom with my self-acceptance and my limiting beliefs, which is clear

simply from the fact that I still have so many food problems.

> >

> > I actually eat quite little during the day. No problems with food there. And

I love to exercise, so that's no issue either. But in the evening, I feel the

need to treat myself, and I love relaxing with tv and chocolate. Even if I'm

with friends and having a great time, I'm horrified to discover a secret longing

to get back home to my own privacy where I can " enjoy " this bingeing by myself.

I don't know why I can't truly let go and enjoy being with friends instead- so

much more rewarding, really!- but something's stopping me.

> >

> > Is this making any sense? Basically, I'm desperate. For any tips you can

give me on how to move on, discover what's really the root of all this and how

to begin to deal with it. I have listened to the episodes, and it did work for

me initially, but there must be some block I just haven't got past yet, and I

don't know what it is or how to get at it. So ANY advice/help/ideas would be so

very appreciated right now!

> >

> > Love,

> >

> > Madie

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Hey everyone,

Tonight I'm trying to break my habits. Rather than come online and read posts

here AFTER I've had my binge and feel bad and need support, I'm here now, while

the sun still hasn't set and no bingeing problems have arisen yet. Actually,

strike that " yet " . No bingeing problems have arisen. Tonight I don't want them

to arise either, and they're not going to. I'm setting my intent to not binge,

but to have a productive evening of last-minute studying for tomorrow's exam,

and then finish the day with some truly enjoyable and self-indulgent me-time

where I feel totally calm and finally then go to bed at peace with myself and

this night.

One thing that really struck me about your post, (iowliowl), was the part

about experiencing the pain. It just hit me that I'm looking at this from such a

counterproductive perspective! I think of the alternative to late night binges

as being painful, boring, difficult and nearly impossible. So of course I'll

work against myself to get away from that! When you wrote about feeling the

moment, I realised that maybe- unlikely it seems, yes, but just maybe- there

might even be some pleasure in it..? What if I think about binge-free nights as

being amazing, not only because I'm avoiding the guilt and the horrible

out-of-control eating, but also because I'm actually filling the space left from

that with something else? Something wonderful and fulfilling and renewing?

I don't know if it will work. I've had my fair share of experiences where I get

all excited about some new insight, only to binge again a few hours later. But

I'm hoping. I'll come back in here and read some more posts in a few hours to

strengthen this empowering feeling that just came over me.

Hope you're all well.

Madie

Oh, and PS to again. I read the story about your name and your work. I

can fully relate to that shame. I'm studying hard right now to become a doctor

in a future not too far away now. And that fear is nagging within- how can I

possibly work with people and try to give confident advice about healthy living

when I don't even know how to take proper care of myself? But I guess we're all

human. The fact that you know where these people are coming from is probably

making you very good at helping them. And you're trying so hard to get back to

your true self. See this experience not as a failure or something shameful, but

as a learning experience that you'll get past soon and grow stronger and more

humble from.

> > >

> > > I can identify with some of the things you are going through.  I also

love to exercise daily, and eat according to hunger and stopping when full

throughout the day.  I make great choices during the day.  But at night

sometimes I want a reward or a treat.  I also feel the same way as you do

when with friends.  I like to get home to some privacy and eat too. Is it

from relief that I am home?

> > > Let me know when you get some answers.  I too need a breakthrough that

lasts.  I will have days that I do as I intend to and not eat at night...but

other nights even when I intend to be satisfied I find my hand reaching for

something else.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > ________________________________

> > > From: madiemania <madiemania@>

> > > weightloss

> > > Sent: Sun, May 30, 2010 5:29:05 PM

> > > Subject: Needing the collective right now

> > >

> > >  

> > > Ok, I desperately need you guys now. I've been doing well, doing badly,

doing well, doing badly... in an everlasting cycle for so long now. I can't seem

to break free, and I don't know where to go from here. I've listened to each

single episode of IOWL several times over and love them all, but I'm not getting

to the bottom with my self-acceptance and my limiting beliefs, which is clear

simply from the fact that I still have so many food problems.

> > >

> > > I actually eat quite little during the day. No problems with food there.

And I love to exercise, so that's no issue either. But in the evening, I feel

the need to treat myself, and I love relaxing with tv and chocolate. Even if I'm

with friends and having a great time, I'm horrified to discover a secret longing

to get back home to my own privacy where I can " enjoy " this bingeing by myself.

I don't know why I can't truly let go and enjoy being with friends instead- so

much more rewarding, really!- but something's stopping me.

> > >

> > > Is this making any sense? Basically, I'm desperate. For any tips you can

give me on how to move on, discover what's really the root of all this and how

to begin to deal with it. I have listened to the episodes, and it did work for

me initially, but there must be some block I just haven't got past yet, and I

don't know what it is or how to get at it. So ANY advice/help/ideas would be so

very appreciated right now!

> > >

> > > Love,

> > >

> > > Madie

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

I have not been posting much but I have been reading when I feel like I might

just lose control of myself after a good day. This last week I found something

that really helped me...... when I felt weak or the urge to eat when I did

not need too.  I left the area of stress and reminded myself " I am a

naturally slender person and (then I try to see myself that way as a healthy

normal weight me with a normal relationship with food and drink.) I am naturally

slim person I am a naturaly slender person. I am capable of all I put my mind

too. For me sometimes just mindfully putting my mind right seems to help.

Hugs and positive thinking from Constance in Mich. 

From: iowliowl <iowliowl@...>

Subject: Re: Needing the collective right now

weightloss

Date: Wednesday, June 2, 2010, 7:17 AM

 

Hey Madie,

Thanks so much for sharing your story. I can definitely relate and just hearing

you share that made me feel less alone. Feeling alone sucks and it is a big

trigger for me. Feeling alone and scared of failing (with weight loss, school -

I'm in grad school, etc.).

One thing that really helps me deal with pain is not just to " ride the pain " out

because that implies that you are trying to control and get rid of the pain. I

have found that sometimes giving in to experiencing the pain, truly experiencing

it for what it physically feels like, for the sake of learning but also just

because life is painful sometimes. I think talks about in it a recent

episode about mindfulness. One of the best ways to not let pain influence your

behavior is to just " get with it. "

I also struggle a lot with night time eating and have been coming here more

often to post and I find that to be really really helpful. Especially because I

don't share my story with that many people in my life.

I'm definitely willing to continue to come here often and try to support you as

much as possible with what has and has not worked for me! Just remember, you

aren't alone! And your sharing helped me tonight, I kinda felt like overeating

but now I don't after reading it, so thank you.

> >

> > I can identify with some of the things you are going through.  I also

love to exercise daily, and eat according to hunger and stopping when full

throughout the day.  I make great choices during the day.  But at night

sometimes I want a reward or a treat.  I also feel the same way as you do

when with friends.  I like to get home to some privacy and eat too. Is it

from relief that I am home?

> > Let me know when you get some answers.  I too need a breakthrough that

lasts.  I will have days that I do as I intend to and not eat at night...but

other nights even when I intend to be satisfied I find my hand reaching for

something else.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ________________________________

> > From: madiemania <madiemania@>

> > weightloss

> > Sent: Sun, May 30, 2010 5:29:05 PM

> > Subject: Needing the collective right now

> >

> >  

> > Ok, I desperately need you guys now. I've been doing well, doing badly,

doing well, doing badly... in an everlasting cycle for so long now. I can't seem

to break free, and I don't know where to go from here. I've listened to each

single episode of IOWL several times over and love them all, but I'm not getting

to the bottom with my self-acceptance and my limiting beliefs, which is clear

simply from the fact that I still have so many food problems.

> >

> > I actually eat quite little during the day. No problems with food there. And

I love to exercise, so that's no issue either. But in the evening, I feel the

need to treat myself, and I love relaxing with tv and chocolate. Even if I'm

with friends and having a great time, I'm horrified to discover a secret longing

to get back home to my own privacy where I can " enjoy " this bingeing by myself.

I don't know why I can't truly let go and enjoy being with friends instead- so

much more rewarding, really!- but something's stopping me.

> >

> > Is this making any sense? Basically, I'm desperate. For any tips you can

give me on how to move on, discover what's really the root of all this and how

to begin to deal with it. I have listened to the episodes, and it did work for

me initially, but there must be some block I just haven't got past yet, and I

don't know what it is or how to get at it. So ANY advice/help/ideas would be so

very appreciated right now!

> >

> > Love,

> >

> > Madie

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >