Re: I need to do something differently...

[Guest guest]

>

> OK, Eldred,

>

> This reply ended up being longer and a little more... straightforward?... than

I

> originally intended. I don't ask that you agree with any of it--just that you

> keep the critic under the stairs until you've read it through at least

once.....

>

Hi - thanks for taking the time to reply.

>

> So, maybe you're the same. You're not an emotional eater. Maybe there's no

event

> besides natural aging and being stuck in a car 3 hours a day and eating to

> relieve boredom that are causing the issues. So--don't worry about finding the

> deep, dark underlying causes.

>

> Focus on what is stopping you from making changes--even small changes--to try

> something else.

>

> If you go back to podcast #3, there's a discussion of the Disney method for

> achieving goals. Dream it, plan it, critique it.

>

>

> Have you done this with weight loss? Do you actually " dream " or want weight

> loss? Can you picture it? If not, maybe this isn't the right time and you can

> give up the struggle. It's not the same as quitting--it's realizing that you

> don't want to be in the game.

>

Yes, I want the weight loss. I listened to one podcast that suggested imagining

you as your 'naturally slender' self. I wasn't able to see myself in that way.

> Have you planned? Do you pack reasonable foods for your commute? Do you think

of

> semi-healthy snacks that are available at the gas station instead of the

> non-healthy snacks you'd usually buy? Do you schedule time for even light

> exercise? Maybe there's a park on the way between home and work, where you can

> stop and walk for 15 min? Maybe you can walk around the building, or up and

down

> the stairs, for 10 minutes before clocking in and 10 minutes after work? Do

you

> do pre-dos and re-dos for getting through typical situations?

>

>

> Do you let the critic out from under the stairs too early? Seems to me that

> every time someone gives you suggestions, you're very quick to point out why

> they won't work. What have you actually tried?

>

I started bringing lunch to work, and tried cooking at home more often. I have

a trainer to ride my bike indoors that I hardly use. Morning exercise seems to

work better, because by the time I get home from work I want nothing to do with

exercise. But that means I have to get up earlier, and I'm already

sleep-deprived. I'm hoping that I can use the upcoming time change to my

advantage in this area.

>

> Well, you have mentioned trying finding the gift (podcast 4), and not feeling

> where it is. One thing I've noticed is that I have a tendency to say " oh,

that

> can't be the spot, because it hurt earlier because of.... " But if I just go

with

> it--with that spot that hurt earlier--I get better results. And if you really

> really really don't feel anything anywhere--just let your hand go somewhere at

> random. Anywhere on your torso. (Yes, anywhere.) And just go with a

> free-association, first thing that pops in your head for the gift. Don't try

to

> over-analyze...

>

See, nothing pops into my head. says that if ALL of you wanted to be

slender, you would be. So there is an internal conflict. And that makes sense

to me, although I don't know WHAT the conflict is. I'm still working on that...

> And now to completely contradict myself and go back to over-analyzing--maybe

> metabolic changes aren't the only things that have happened in the last 20

> years.

>

> It's possible to go through life with no noticeable traumatic events, but with

a

> long, slow series of erosions of the soul. Compromises that lead to lost

> opportunities. Little plans, little dreams that slip by unclaimed, unnoticed.

>

I worked at one job for 18 years, and it drained the life out of me... I'm glad

I left.

> Like your band. Why did you stop? You mentioned recently that it's been a long

> time since you played. Maybe that's the one small step you can start with.

Maybe

> that's more important than whether you sit at the table and eat your

> carefully-measured serving of cheese-puffs off the fine china. Maybe just

> pulling out your guitar and strumming along while you're watching TV in the

> evening will awaken something that's been numbed out all these years....

>

I stopped playing because I ran out of time. I keep saying that I want to

record a jazz CD, but various things keep getting in the way. No space to setup

my studio, need recording software for my computer, need a BETTER computer. A

lot of that is financially based. This was supposed to be THE year, but it's

already October.

> What do you have to lose, by trying?

>

Yeah, I know. I'm working on it. I'll eventually get it, but I haven't found

the 'click' yet.

Eldred

[Guest guest]

So I didn't pull the example of playing while watching TV out of thin air. It's

what my husband did when he decided he wanted to learn guitar. I would never

have done it--obviously you have to sit in a quiet room, totally focused, no

external distractions, blah blah blah. End result? He plays really well now.

I... play a mean bah bah black sheep, but anyone over the age of 6 knows I'm

faking it....

But really, he's a piano player. We had a piano for a while, and had to get rid

of it when we moved to a smaller place. When we finally moved to a place with

room for one, well, it just wasn't first thing on the list. Even when we had

some money available, we just didn't get around to it. Until a few months ago,

when we finally got an electric piano.

What was the catalyst? Well... a year ago tomorrow, my MIL passed away. She was

an amazing pianist.... As soon as we got the keyboard, dh started playing. Stuff

he likes, improvising to songs dd is working on for voice lessons... and songs

his mother used to play. As much as it helps him, I know he regrets that we

didn't get around to buying it earlier, so she would have been able to play the

last time she visited us....

I wonder what you can start doing NOW, before all the pieces are in place?

Before you have the perfect computer, or the perfect space.

My wish for you, Eldred, is that you can find your music again without losing

something--or someone--else.

________________________________

From: EldredP <epickett@...>

weightloss

Sent: Thu, October 21, 2010 3:41:13 PM

Subject: Re: I need to do something differently...

> Like your band. Why did you stop? .... Maybe just

> pulling out your guitar and strumming along while you're watching TV in the

> evening will awaken something that's been numbed out all these years....

>

I stopped playing because I ran out of time. I keep saying that I want to

record a jazz CD, but various things keep getting in the way. No space to setup

my studio, need recording software for my computer, need a BETTER computer. A

lot of that is financially based. This was supposed to be THE year, but it's

already October.