Your Thoughts Requested: Social Skills, Autism, and the Playground

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http://autism.about.com/b/a/257918.htm

Your Thoughts Requested: Social Skills, Autism, and the Playground

From Jo Rudy,

Your Guide to Autism.

About.com Health's Disease and Condition content is reviewed by our

Medical Review Board

Your Thoughts Requested: Social Skills, Autism, and the Playground

I'm about to launch into a series of articles on children, autism,

and social skills. As I chat about this with friends and family, I

present this conundrum - and so far, haven't gotten any good answers.

I'm curious what readers think.

Imagine a very ordinary situation (one I see occur between my two

kids all the time). One child starts doing something fairly

innocuous - say, singing loudly - which annoys the other child (who

happens to be autistic). This interaction occurs:

Typical child: " la la la la! "

Child with autism: " stop that, you're bothering me! "

Typical child: " la la la la! "

Child with autism: " STOP IT!! "

Typical child: " la la la la! "

At this point, my child with autism bursts into tears - a fairly

inappropriate action for an 11 year old boy. I've seen other kids

with Asperger syndrome and similar disorders do exactly the same

thing - even when they're more than capable of conversation and

really good academic work in the classroom.

So... I've tried to come up with some ideas for my son. The truth is,

I can't think of a single idea that actually meets the need. He is

truly annoyed, and the other child is not listening to him. But the

reality is that no one is trying to hurt or upset him (or maybe they

are, but just a little bit, not in a malicious way or in a manner

that goes beyond ordinary friend-to-friend teasing).

I really don't want him to run away, cry, tattle, or get into a

wrestling match - since none of these choices are acceptable either

to us or to typical peers. Ideally, I'd love him to be able to get a

little silly, saying " You are driving me NUTS! If you do that again

I'm going to turn into a SQUIRREL! " and just diffuse the situation

with humor. But how do you teach that?? How do you explain how much

silliness is funny and how much is weird? And - most importantly, how

do you teach your child to distinguish good-natured teasing from

bullying, and to react appropriately?

What are your thoughts? Please do share - and, if you would, let me

know which (if any) social skills groups, therapists, books, videos,

etc. have worked well for you and your child.

Post your comment here:

http://autism.about.com/b/a/257918.htm#commentform

[Guest guest]

> Your Thoughts Requested: Social Skills, Autism, and the Playground

This is what I wrote to try to help.

I did a lot of searching for a real answer to help my son who's dx is NLD and has problems "reading" the meaning of social situations. One site I found that appealed to him was http://www.bullies2buddies.com/It gives kids who have been bullied practical solutions other than tattling, hitting, or screaming. The solutions given on the web site work but it is difficult for younger kids.

My son, who is 10 was suspended twice last school year for losing his temper, so we had to do something because the school administration always put the blame on him.

Also, we have tried rehearsing some witty comments. In the case of the singing, I'd tell him to say to the other child, "You have a great voice. You should join the choir or are you in the choir?." It would be difficult for the other child to be angry because he or she just received a compliment.

Though I wouldn't expect kids who tease to become friends with him, really wouldn't ask him to be friends with kids who get their kicks out of making others miserable. Hope this helps.

Kim

[Guest guest]

>

> http://autism.about.com/b/a/257918.htm

>

> Your Thoughts Requested: Social Skills, Autism, and the Playground

>

> From Jo Rudy,

>

> Your Guide to Autism.

>

> About.com Health's Disease and Condition content is reviewed by our

> Medical Review Board

>

> Your Thoughts Requested: Social Skills, Autism, and the Playground

> I'm about to launch into a series of articles on children, autism,

> and social skills. As I chat about this with friends and family, I

> present this conundrum - and so far, haven't gotten any good

answers.

> I'm curious what readers think.

>

> Imagine a very ordinary situation (one I see occur between my two

> kids all the time). One child starts doing something fairly

> innocuous - say, singing loudly - which annoys the other child (who

> happens to be autistic). This interaction occurs:

>

> Typical child: " la la la la! "

> Child with autism: " stop that, you're bothering me! "

>

> Typical child: " la la la la! "

>

> Child with autism: " STOP IT!! "

>

> Typical child: " la la la la! "

>

> At this point, my child with autism bursts into tears - a fairly

> inappropriate action for an 11 year old boy. I've seen other kids

> with Asperger syndrome and similar disorders do exactly the same

> thing - even when they're more than capable of conversation and

> really good academic work in the classroom.

>

> So... I've tried to come up with some ideas for my son. The truth

is,

> I can't think of a single idea that actually meets the need. He is

> truly annoyed, and the other child is not listening to him. But the

> reality is that no one is trying to hurt or upset him (or maybe

they

> are, but just a little bit, not in a malicious way or in a manner

> that goes beyond ordinary friend-to-friend teasing).

>

Ok this woman is off her rocker. the NT child is being malicious.

How about telling your son to play with someone else or giving the

other darling the idea verbally that teasing people isn't nice.

The child burst into tears because he knows MOM isn't going to help

him out and Bopping the other child isn't an option. I would say

crying is better than a left hook.

In a park some children were using straws to make obnoxious loud

pitched sounds. In truth I almost got murderous quick (high pitched

is the worst for me, but fans over time grate) Anyway i put my own

fingers in my son's ears and mom got the hint. Also i looked like I

was about to explode. since when is common consideration not an

option. why does any child have to endure annoyance and outright

teasing by some spoiled monster with poor social skills??!!