Guest guest Posted January 21, 2004 Report Share Posted January 21, 2004 Morning one and all out there in DS land. I have a small update on my DS journey. I had to chat with department of rehabilitation yesterday, and they've moved to a nice new office in a large complex with a lot of windows. As I left the appointment, I caught my reflection in those black windows. I know it's vanity, but, as I walked along the 50 yards or so, I just kept looking at " me " walking along. I knew the reflection was me, but it didn't look like me. I looked so normal. Then, in one of my classes we were videotaped making a presentation. When I watched the video tape, there was this almost normal looking person (except for the turkey waddle under my chin) making a presentation. When that person turned sideways, he wasn't wider than he was tall. It certainly wasn't the person I've known for 46 years. I think I'm having identity problems and also grieving for the person I knew for 46 years. Have any of you experienced this? The grief is really causing some more than measurable depression. As for the scales, today they tell me that I'm 265 pounds. That is less than I weighed in 4th grade. I wonder what they will tell me tomorrow? The water retention/gain is depressing!!!!!! Jim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 21, 2004 Report Share Posted January 21, 2004 > Morning one and all out there in DS land. I have a small update on my DS > journey. > > > > I had to chat with department of rehabilitation yesterday, and they've moved > to a nice new office in a large complex with a lot of windows. As I left the > appointment, I caught my reflection in those black windows. I know it's > vanity, but, as I walked along the 50 yards or so, I just kept looking at > " me " walking along. I knew the reflection was me, but it didn't look like > me. I looked so normal. Then, in one of my classes we were videotaped making > a presentation. When I watched the video tape, there was this almost normal > looking person (except for the turkey waddle under my chin) making a > presentation. When that person turned sideways, he wasn't wider than he was > tall. It certainly wasn't the person I've known for 46 years. I think I'm > having identity problems and also grieving for the person I knew for 46 > years. Have any of you experienced this? The grief is really causing some > more than measurable depression. > As for the scales, today they tell me that I'm 265 pounds. That is less than > I weighed in 4th grade. I wonder what they will tell me tomorrow? The water > retention/gain is depressing!!!!!! > > Jim ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jim, I laughed when I read your post.Yes I know how you are feeling. The first time I walked in front of windows I had to stop and stare at the person looking back at me,cause I didn't know who it was.Then dudddd,hey that's me. 2yrs out I still do it,and I bet Jo and others that are futher out than me still do it. It is a mind game and sometimes a tough on.Best of luck with it.But how cool is it that you are smaller than the 4th grade..You go guy!!! God bless Pat > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 21, 2004 Report Share Posted January 21, 2004 > > Morning one and all out there in DS land. I have a small update on > my DS > > journey. > > > > > > >. When that person turned sideways, he wasn't wider > than he was > > tall. It certainly wasn't the person I've known for 46 years. I > think I'm > > having identity problems and also grieving for the person I knew > for 46 > > years. Have any of you experienced this? The grief is really > causing some > > more than measurable depression. > > > As for the scales, today they tell me that I'm 265 pounds. That is > less than > > I weighed in 4th grade. I wonder what they will tell me tomorrow? > The water > > retention/gain is depressing!!!!!! > > > > Jim > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > Jim, > I laughed when I read your post.Yes I know how you are feeling. > The first time I walked in front of windows I had to stop and > stare at the person looking back at me,cause I didn't know who > it was.Then dudddd,hey that's me. 2yrs out I still do it,and I bet > Jo and others that are futher out than me still do it. It is a > mind game and sometimes a tough on.Best of luck with it.But how > cool is it that you are smaller than the 4th grade..You go guy!!! > God bless > Pat Hi Jim: My name is Theresa. A pleasure to meet you. " Vanity " is what it may be; but, by god we deserve all we can stand. If anyone says they haven't experienced this yet....they are lying. Ha! Ha!. The next best thing to vanity is admiration. Two years ago if someone (of the male species) would look @ me I would think " What the hell are you looking @ " -I'm sure with my attitude coming across my face. Now if I'm being looked @ it's appreciated by me. I'm not quite sure " admiration " is the correct word I'm looking for but you all get my jist. Keep amazing yourself in the mirror Jim. Until next time, Theresa Harper Yuba City, CA Surgery: 03/14/02 Start weight: 252 Current: 145 > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 21, 2004 Report Share Posted January 21, 2004 I caught my reflection in those black windows. I know it's vanity, but, as I walked along the 50 yards or so, I just kept looking at " me " walking along. I knew the reflection was me, but it didn't look like me. I looked so normal. *****Isn't it wonderful, Jim, to be normal? I don't think a little vanity hurt anyone, especially since those of us who have had weight problems usually suffer from self-esteem issues, anyway. Just enjoy your newfound normalcy...you deserve it! I think I'm having identity problems and also grieving for the person I knew for 46 years. Have any of you experienced this? The grief is really causing some more than measurable depression. ******I don't think I have experienced grief, exactly, but confusion as to my identity, yes. I'm so sorry you are suffering from depression. I think the relatively rapid changes in our lives lend themselves to that and to introspection, and possibly grief for time lost. Give yourself a pat on the back, and receive a big hug from me. You are doing so well, my friend. Hugs and blessings, Ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 21, 2004 Report Share Posted January 21, 2004 I caught my reflection in those black windows. I know it's vanity, but, as I walked along the 50 yards or so, I just kept looking at " me " walking along. I knew the reflection was me, but it didn't look like me. I looked so normal. *****Isn't it wonderful, Jim, to be normal? I don't think a little vanity hurt anyone, especially since those of us who have had weight problems usually suffer from self-esteem issues, anyway. Just enjoy your newfound normalcy...you deserve it! I think I'm having identity problems and also grieving for the person I knew for 46 years. Have any of you experienced this? The grief is really causing some more than measurable depression. ******I don't think I have experienced grief, exactly, but confusion as to my identity, yes. I'm so sorry you are suffering from depression. I think the relatively rapid changes in our lives lend themselves to that and to introspection, and possibly grief for time lost. Give yourself a pat on the back, and receive a big hug from me. You are doing so well, my friend. Hugs and blessings, Ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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